Harry and Hermione were the last two students in class. Everyone else had gotten a 30-minute break, during which to rest, eat, play or do homework. Harry and Hermione, however, were detained. Harry had not directly interacted with professor Shura at all, and rumour in the Slytherin dungeon was that so had nobody else. She had never called anyone else to stay behind after class, and Harry knew the whispering amongst Slytherins had already started by the time students left. Some of the students might even owls their fathers.
Sometimes, Harry really did wish he had accepted being sorted into Hufflepuff. The hat had said that he would make friends in Hufflepuff, but it seemed that in Slytherin he had not. He was on regular speakings terms with Draco, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini and the members of the quidditch team, but other than that most people seemed to just mind their classes and stay in their cliques. What was worse, of course, was that there was always at least one kid staring at him or at his scar. Harry was getting awfully sick of people starting at his scar.
Yes, someone had tried to kill him as a baby. It was amazing, and apparently unheard of, that he was alive in spite of having been hit with the killing curse. Harry thought he ought to know the words to that spell, actually. Maybe he could ask professor Shura. He would forget, but he didn't know that yet. The doors to the lecture hall closed after the last student and professor Shura directed them to sit down. Two stools similar to her own had appeared. Suddenly, the mousy woman looked very tired, and much older. Harry had never thought her to be older than 40 when he'd seen her from a distance, but looking at her up close she age truly showed.
She was covered in scars, as well, some of which looked like Harry's. Bright, red, linear and inflamed. Harry's was famously of a lightening bolt, and it had never fully healed. Harry had always been prone to headaches, and had even passed out frequently as a child. Harry wondered how much of that had to do with the Dursley and how much with Voldemort. Hermione looked like she was about to die, and Harry wondered if she knew that nobody else had talked privately to Shura except teachers. Shura spoke first.
"Harry Potter. Hermione Granger. I am not happy to hear that you have met dementors yesterday". Her accent was more clear that usual when she talked without magical enhancement. She paused, but not enough to allowed them to speak. "Harry Potter, I have heard from Albus Dumbledore what happened". He almost felt mad that Dumbledore was sharing this with all the teachers, but Shura did not allow him to dwell on it. "My condolences. I am in a situation similar to yours. Can you both keep a secret? Are either of you occlumens?".
They both shook their heads and she sighed. "That is unfortunate. In this country, they do not teach very much to children. In that case I have some other arrangements, but we will take care of that after. This is what happened to me, which caused me to defect. That I met a dementor and that it took a part of me into myself". She paused and then addressed Hermione. "Hermione Granger, I do not know if you understand the evil of the dementors. I understood that you resisted without loosing a part of yourself, but I do not understand if you truly understand the evil of the dementors. If they touched you, truly touched you, you will understand".
Hermione shuddered and her eyes went vacant, and Harry suddenly, horrifyingly, became aware that she had been touched. Because Harry understood exactly what Shura meant. When the dementor had touched him, truly touched him by putting its hand, or whatever that was, on his chest as it floated atop him, when it assumed control of him, that was the worst moment of Harry's life. Harry himself shuddered and begged somewhere deep in the remaining parts of his soul that he would never have another experience like it.
An experience that had caused damage to his actual soul could not quite be compared to any other. Harry knew that he would never be able to forget the moment of that touch. Because at that moment, Harry had understood that dementors were the true evil, as no wizard could ever aspire to be. He had understood that they were death and malice incarnate, and that there was no destiny worse than being caught by one. When caught by a dementor, there truly was no hope of escape, even deep in your hearth, as death came to you. If such a thing could be called death.
Death, being touched by a dementor was not. As Harry had learned and Hermione confirmed, dementors stole parts of you into themselves and used them to create their spawn. Dumbledore had said that a dementor had been born from a part of Harry's soul and Harry knew that Dumbledore was right. He could feel the dementor out there, somewhere, in the darkness. Harry looked at Hermione and understood two things. First, that Hermione understood that the dementors were truly evil and that there was no recourse but to rid the world of them. Second, that Hermione did not understand the injury of having had them go as far as truly touch your soul.
But Harry saw in Hermione's eyes that the dementor had touched her, as well. That it had begun to "kiss" her, as it was horrifyingly called. Harry wished, for a brief second, that he could remove his lips and his entire face. The parts that the dementor had touched felt dirty in a way he could not find words for. Professor Shura decided not to let either of them dwell on the memories any longer.
When she spoke she sounded almost lost in thought. Harry only barely recognized that it was intended for him and Hermione. "It is not normally done so young, but the patronus charm can be taught. Most do not have the motivation to learn the patronus charm because it is difficult. Very difficult. But it necessary for anyone who has been touched by a dementor at all. Or so I believe". She paused. "I do not agree with Azkaban, but it is better than what my country does when it comes to dementors. Would you be shocked to know that it took me 4 years after that to decide to defect, and 2 more years to carry out my plan? I have never spoken of that, but I suppose it does not matter now".
She paused. "You must both know that I am doomed in your role as teacher, yes?". Hermione nodded and Harry remembered hearing that Voldemort had cursed the position once a teacher Albus Dumbledore had instated had publicly insulted him and said that he had gotten the job Voldemort had been rejected for. It was also around this time, it seemed, that Voldemort had become "public enemy number one" instead of "a dark wizard in exile". Harry had read copies of the daily prophet from the nights of Voldemort's reign.
Harry had noticed two periods. One where Voldemort's atrocities and attacks were publicly debated like major news event, and one where normal news were brought with minor mentions of attacks by the Knights of Walpurgis. Around this time, the knights started to be referred to as "death-eaters". Today, that was the only term that was used. Being Slytherin, Harry had learned that "death-eater" was an older insult which referred to a kind of inbred pure-blood who lashes out at others. Voldemort had been dubbed the chief death eater, a slur that the Dark Lord had hated.
Slytherins normally did not use the term much in public except about those who had been caught and sent to Azkaban. Harry knew that this notoriously included Bellatrix Lestrange, the most powerful of Voldemort's followers, and Sirius Black, who was Harry's godfather. Sirius, he had learned, had betrayed Harry's parents. Nobody had told Harry about that, of course. He had found it in a book about his own life, which had shown a horribly inaccurate version of his childhood. It was said that he lived in the country-side, on a farm, with his kindly aunt and uncle who were befuddled by his curious wizarding ways.
In that time, there had been small drawings in the newspaper about how Harry Potter was confusing muggles by doing such amazing things as walking at the age of 1 or levitating small objects. Harry was occasionally used as a stand-in, in the form of a chubby baby with a lightening bolt scar, in various jokes about "evils" being defeated. Reading those old newspapers was the strangest and most infuriating experience Harry had ever had.
Harry's train of thought was derailed by Hermione. "Harry?". Once she got his attention she addressed professor Shura. "Professor, I have no doubt that Harry and I both accept. We both want to learn the charm from you". Hermione seemed like she had more to ask. "Professor Shura, Harry and I both have time turners".
Shura just nodded like this would be obvious. "Most young wizards who study seriously do".
Harry furrowed his brown. "Older wizards don't?"
Shura shook her head. "No, you age much faster using a time-turner. Most wizards live to be quite old, you know. Excessive use of a time turner will mean that your life span can only be compared to a muggle one, meaning about 70 or 80 years on the average if nothing kills you first". Shura apparently found this funny and laughed, with a surprisingly shrill and girlish voice that abruptly ended with her clearing her throat. "Sorry about that".
Hermione just nodded, giving the professor a strange look. "Why did you call us out in class? I thought you would want to avoid letting anyone know anything about you, considering your circumstances. Surely you would have wanted to avoid gossip. Why didn't you just wait for us to turn back time, even if you needed to talk to us here? Harry and I could have floo'd to the classroom and you would not have to tell the world that you decided to stop holding your tongue".
Shura did not look amused. "You ask too many questions. As a matter of fact I have indeed decided to break my silence. I wanted to speak to Harry Potter, and it is about time that I break my silence. I invited you as well because I know you were touched by the dementors, but I will not be questioned by some obstinate child". Hermione grew flush and Harry wondered what Hermione would do. She was normally quiet, but her temper was short when people talked down to her.
Shura, however, had no intention of letting Hermione start speaking. "In fact, everyone will be learning the patronus charm once we are done with duelling, but I decided to give you both a chance to learn it early, directly from me, considering that you had such a dreadful experience. You are the one who had to make this political, miss Granger. But it of no consequence, of course. I will have to take both your memories after class so they can't be taken from your minds by the journalists who will flock here when they learn I have broken my silence".
Harry could not stay silent at that. "Wait, journalists read people's minds?".
Now it was Harry's turn to earn an annoyed glance from Shura. "Of course they do. Does nobody teach anything at Hogwarts?". Shura rubbed her forehead. "I shall have to include that in my classes, as well. Either way, of course they do. Legilimency cannot be detected if performed by an expert. That is why occlumency is so important to everyone. But since neither of you are occlumens, we cannot speak freely at all. I would hope one of you decide to learn occlumency, but I'm afraid this conversation will go the way of the rest of your memories. The point is that you both will commit to learning the patronus charm from me. I will allowed the emotional impression of his conversation to remain, in the hopes that it will help you cope with the aftermath of meeting death and perhaps encourage you to study occlumency sometime".
She paused and Hermione almost looked like she was going to speak as Shura slowly reached for her wand, but it was Harry who objected. "Stop". Shura frowned and listened to him. "Can't we just learn occlumency? I don't want to loose my memories. I don't like the idea of you manipulating my mind". Harry did not remember his life as a young child very much at all, and the Dursley's were always telling him about horrible things he had supposedly done and laughing at him. Harry found it hard to tell them off when he had no memory to the contrary.
Shura shrugged. "You will not have time. I can give you at most 5 hours to practice and I very much doubt you can do it to my satisfaction. I will not ask you to resist me fully, but I will ask you to at least be able to resist intrusions on the level that a reporter would be capable of bringing to the table". She shook her head. "It is impossible. I could have obliviated you both before you would have been able to reach for your wands, but I decided not to. Perhaps I can one day give you these memories back fully, and then you will not forgive me if I simply assault you or deny you your chance. So, yes, I will give you 5 hours to practice. Should you so desire. But it is pointless, you mark my words. It is not enough time".
Hermione was more than up for the challenge. "Fine! 5 hours and I am sure that I can master it. I will need my books, I remember seeing a text on it. I will-". But before the irate Hermione could walk away to try and fetch her books Shura shook her head.
"No. First of all, you are foolish to think I will allow you to leave here with the words I have spoken still in your mind. You really are trying my patience. Further, that is not how occlumency is rehearsed. It can only be trained by resisting a serious intrusion from a legilimens. And as you will find I am quite adequately trained as both legilimens and occlumens. It took me several years to Master and I am more disciplined than you".
Hermione snorted. "I believe you will find I have a well-disciplined mind. In fact, I have already been training to resist legilimency and the Imperio curse".
Harry frowned. "You have?".
Hermione smiled, but it was a bitter smile. "I am muggle-born, Harry. That means some of your house-mates, in particular, do not like me. Some of which have access to their fathers ancient libraries. I will not be defenceless if someone tries to attack me and my family again".
It was Shura who caught. "Again?"
Hermione looked like she wanted to hold her tongue, but spoke regardless, her habit forcing her to answer a teacher promptly. "My family and I were harassed by several pure-bloods because we tried to pay in muggle money in a book-store. Nobody had told us how to convert into Galleons, or even that it was necessary. And it turns out that muggle money buys very, very little Gringotts Gold". Harry slowly allowed that to sink in.
"Hermione, are you saying that your family was harassed for trying to pay in a book-store?", he asked, slowly growing mad on behalf of his friend.
Harry could swear that he could see her eyes glaze over with tears for a second. "Yes. But the point is that I have practised. I will not be dismissed just because I am muggleborn". She gave professor Shura a look that was part sad and part furious.
Shura just shrugged. "If you wish. I have not really thought about this at all. Muggleborns as you call them are not allowed to live at all in the Empire. I have no idea how they are raised to be quite honest, and do not care to find out. If you think you can keep up with Harry Potter, you are welcome to try. Either way, I will start with you, Harry Potter".
Professor Shura looked him in the eyes, and suddenly a lightening bolt of pain shot through Harry's head. He screamed in pain as memories rushed past his eyes. He was distantly aware that Hermione was trying to tell him something, but the memory was too intense for him to truly notice her. It was the memory of Voldemort killing Lily Potter, his mother, and it had never been that intense before.
In the memory, he became Voldemort much like he had become the dementor in his dream on the night after the attack. Oddly, the two dreams were very similar, even if Harry preferred the absence of dementors to their presence. In the dream where he was Voldemort, Harry felt so horribly cold as he slid through the world. His voice had been twisted and alien, only barely human, sounding too fast and reptilian. When it spoke, it was casually indifferent, with a strange humour to it, seeming to find its own words amusing.
"Stand aside, you silly girl... stand aside now. You know well that the prophecy has marked him"
His mother had only screamed. "Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead -".
Voldemort had made a "tsk-tsk-tsk" noise, raising his wand and mockingly wagging his finger. The last words his mother ever said were "Not Harry! Please... have mercy... have mercy...". His mothers voice had been unconvinced, and faded sadly as Voldemort laughed, a shrill and truly inhuman sound. The last words Harry heard were those of the spell... and they were...
"Harry! Harry, wake up! Look at me!". Harry blinked. Hermione was shaking him, furiously. He was laying on the floor of the classroom. Hermione snapped a finger in front of his nose. "Hey. Look at me". He did and she almost poked him in the eye.
"Hey! What was what for?", Harry said as he sat up, absent-mindedly rubbing his throbbing scar.
Hermione looked reassured if not entirely. "I needed to see if you were awake. Are you okay, Harry?".
Shura grunted. "I already told you that he is fine. Stop fuzzing over him".
Hermione stood and gave the teacher an annoyed look. "When people fall over and start having a seizure like that it's not normal or responsible to just leave them to it".
Shura did not answer this and just looked Hermione in the eyes. Hermione stood for a few seconds, locking eyes with Shura, before she gasped and look away. "Y-you... you can't just...". Hermione looked throughoutly humiliated.
Shura's voice was mocking. "What, read your thoughts? Of course I can. I just did, didn't I? 4 and a half hours, by the way. And you will have no proof if someone claims that I did this to you, because that is how legilimency works. I could have taken the memory of you noticing me if i wnated. Reading your thoughts is easy, because your mind is undisciplined. Unless you can control your emotions, you have no hope to resist me. Stand up, Potter". Harry was still sitting but his brief respite was now cut short.
Shura gave him an entirely impassive look and talked. "Your injury is severe enough that you experience pain if I perform occlumency on you. How often do you experience pain in your scar?".
Harry was sure of his answer. "Every day around nighttime, but only for a second. More severely, a couple of times every month. Like just now, well, only a few times in my life to be honest". Shura just nodded like this was all self-evident before looking back to Hermione with visible distaste.
"See? I know what I am doing. I have similar scars on me and knew that exactly this would probably happen. Harry Potter flinched when I first tried to read his mind as he entered the crowd".
This caught Harry by surprise, by only a little. By now he was almost used to it. "I knew it! All those damn Slytherins kept claiming that teachers both could and did read the minds of their students".
This seemed to set off Hermione again. "You knew it? Knew that she was reading your mind? And you didn't tell anyone?"
Shura laughed, briefly, with genuine humour. "Telling anyone wouldn't have helped. Forget that that legilimency is undetectable when properly performed, did you? Well I'll tell you again so you don't forget. Properly performed legilimency is undetectable, because that's the whole point. It's not a memory charm. It is legilimency, an actual control of the mind. It is said that your so-called dark lord Tom's ability to control minds is so great he can give people new identities if they merely casually lock eyes with him. His ability in legilimency was legendary across the world, even if he was sorely lacking in other school of magic compared with more globally legendary characters like Master Merlin, who so famously created magical Britain in its current form ".
Hermione blushed, having for a change forgotten something. Harry was sure she was bursting to speak, but for now she held her tongue. That was new to Harry as well. That Merlin created magical Britain. Harry had heard that the government of magical Britain had existed before Merlin, but that its control was just limited to roughly the muggle territories of England and Cornwall. Harry had not heard about any supposed "creation" of that Government in the period of Merlin. Come to think of it, Harry had heard very little about Merlin except that he was great, famous and Slytherin.
Harry did not have time to dwell on Merlin, and practice continued. While Hermione seemed to have very little success, Harry found that the burning pain in his scar gave him something to focus on, and a clear warning whenever he came under attack. After a few hours of practising in a back room, with Hermione looking like she might keel over, Harry found another one of those cold, confident places within himself. As Shura turned to him to try her legilimens yet again, Harry surprisingly found himself prepared.
Shura could perform legilimency without wand or word, but Harry still noticed the begining of her spell. It was something in how she tensed her lips. And this time, he pushed back as she tried to move inside his mind, acting on an instinct that did not quite seem to stem from anything Harry was conscious off. An array of images flashed before Harry's eyes, most seemingly harmless. A little girl unwrapping a present. A great military parade in a city Harry thought must be Moscow. Fireworks. And then the bad memories started coming. Days spent in a cold, dark cell. a battle where Harry (or was it Shura?) lost her friends and family by the dozen. Her father beating her for accidentially transfiguring their cat into a pillow.
The last memory was the most vivid. Harry/Shura kicked in the door of someone's apartment, and in the living room sat a family of 4. They looked at Harry/Shura, and as soon as they saw her crimson robes, the light left their eyes. They did not raise a hand to defend themselves as Shura killed them one by one, and the mother held her youngest close to her as the end came. They did not even bother beg for their lives, or for the lives of their children, because they knew that it was useless. The Security Corps always killed. That's why people fear us...
Harry was back in the classroom, gasping into the light, once again seeing a concerned Hermione bent down over him. He shrugged off Hermione's fuzzing and sat back up. He looked at Shura, who was slumped back in her chair and looked uncharacteristically exhausted. After a long moment had passed, she gave Harry a tired look. "I suppose I should congratulate you on managing to resist. What you saw, by the way, is my worst memory. Well, at least it was before I met the dementors. But the dementors sure showed me that memory a lot. When they saw me, they all gave up. Just like that. Instead of being the defender of justice I had set out to be, I had become a monster. Until I saw them accept death merely at seeing me, I did not know that what I did was wrong. And yet now it seems so obvious".
She wiped the sweat from her forehead, which Harry was surprised to see was with more than just sweat. Other than annoyance towards Hermione, the professor had until now shown little emotion once they had left the topic of the dementors. "This is the memory which was in my mind as I surrendered to the dementors, Harry Potter. I did not intend for you, or anyone, to see it". Her expression soon returned to neutral, and Harry could not read the look she gave him. "Again!", she ordered, and attacked the surface of his mind.
After almost an hour, Harry had found himself capable of resisting not all but most of her attacks, and Hermione began to complain she did not receive enough time to practice. After a few more hours, the five hours they had been given to practice were up, and while Harry had made progress, Hermione had not. She had tried her very hardest and failed, which Harry had become convinced was a new experience for Hermione. At least she would not have to keep the memory of her failure, but Harry suspected that was not much comfort to her.
After they had used up their time-turners for the day, only Harry was allowed to keep his memories, although he had to reluctantly promise to continue occlumency lessons with professor Snape, who was apparently a master of the discipline. Like Shura had promised, the emotional impression of the conversation was allowed to remain, which had the unfortunate side effect of leaving Hermione fuming when they returned to class, even if she did not know why. Harry hoped he wouldn't have to be the one to explain that whole mess to to her when it was time.