Katherine.
The name was buzzing inside of Elena's head. Katherine, as in Stefan's ex. As in the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. As in the woman who had hurt him so much. As in the woman who had so much power over him that she had managed to break him.
Katherine, as is someone who she feared even though she had never met her, and she hoped she never will. As in the woman who could steal Stefan away from her. As in the woman Stefan would gladly follow.
She took Emily in her hands and placed her in her lap. She had to have something close to her, something familiar, something that was connecting her to Stefan and always will be. She could have felt Bonnie's glare on her. It was piercing through her, and it was physically painful, because she could have sworn Bonnie is taking pity of her. Like Stefan is already standing with his bag on his shoulder on the front door, prepared to leave everything they have been building through these past two years.
She was ice cold. She pulled Emily closer to her, planting a kiss on the top of her head, and ruffling the skirt of her dress. The floor was too hard and too cold. Her spine was hurting. Her head was hurting. Her whole body was aching. She raised herself on her own two feet, bringing Emily with her. Emily threw her arms around Elena's neck, squeezing her, like she could feel how tense her mother is.
Over Stefan's tensed shoulders she glanced at Katherine. She was more beautiful than that one picture Elena had seen of her gave her the credit. Hell, she was more beautiful than Stefan's words gave her the credit, and she thought he's exaggerating. Her skin was silky smooth, and under the bright light pouring down on her from the kitchen, she looked like she's made out of porcelain. She had deep, dark, brown eyes which were cat like, as well as the smirk on her face - she was beautiful, but there was something devilish about her face, and the way she smiled, and the way she looked at Stefan. She had big, dark curls bouncing on her shoulders, touching her red cheeks. She was slim, very slim, so slim Elena felt Katherine's body could fit into hers twice. But she was not ugly skinny, she had no fat, but she had curves on all the right places.
Elena could not look at her anymore, she was afraid Katherine will feel the intensity of her look, so she would have to make an eye contact with her. And now, she did not want anyone looking into her eyes and noticing the fear behind them. Emily pulled herself back from Elena and put her hands on her mother's face, squeezing her cheeks and making silent, bubbly sound. Elena smiled at her, even though she felt like crying. For a moment, her eyes locked with Caroline's, but unlike Bonnie, he had no pity in her look, but fear. Elena was not sure is Caroline's fear coming from the same place hers is coming from.
Stefan was buried into place. He could not look into Katherine. He could not look away. He was too afraid of Elena's stare, of the questionable expression on everyone's face. Lara was pressing next to him. Katherine had a devilish smirk on her face - borderline psychotic. That was the only thing he never liked about her, her ability to scare people by curving her lips. She never smiled at him like that before. The smile she directed to him was always gentle, and now he wondered was that smile real, or had she faked it for his sake.
She looked amazing. Better than he had remembered her. When she left, he tried to block her from his mind, so he blocked out the way she looked too. She always had a light complexion, and now she actually had a tan, so he wondered where did her and Elijah actually go.
Katherine's smirk was replaced by a confused face expression when her look fell on the baby in his arms. She frowned. Lara had her hands on Stefan's arm, her head resting on his shoulders, her look locked on Katherine.
Katherine did not recognize the eyes on the child, but the lines on the baby's face were very well known to her. The shape of her lips, her jaw, her forehead - it was all Stefan. She was flooded with jealousy, and regret, and anger. Because he had moved on so fast.
Katherine kept frowned expression on her face until Caroline made her appearance. She had appeared by Stefan's side, glancing at Katherine but refusing to make a full eye contact with her, and took the baby out of Stefan's arms. Stefan looked at her thankfully before she went away, and before Katherine had a chance to look at all of the people in the room, Stefan pushed her outside in the hallway, and pushed the door closed behind them.
She looked at the door behind his shoulder and furrowed her brows. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" - her look fell on his as she asked with the sweetest voice possible.
Stefan crossed his arms on his chest, and the weight of his look on her was too hard. "No" - he said. There was not a bit of emotion in his voice, of any kind. He was completely numb to her presence. She was not used to that voice of tone coming from him, and she wished he would show any kind of emotion, even if it's anger. "Why are you here, Katherine?" - he asked while wrapping his arms around himself, his muscles tightening.
A seductive smile appeared on her face and she made one step closer to him, which made him tense some more. "You" - she said, batting her eyelashes.
An entertaining smirk appeared on his face, and he released a silent huff. "Where is Elijah?" - a smirk disappeared, and his face was serious, his eyes flashing with rage.
Katherine lowered her look at the ground. "At work" - she raised her look and met Stefan's, which was full of surprise and.. fear? "In North Dakota" - Katherine finished her sentence, and all the worry from Stefan's face disappeared. He did not want to face his ex friend now, or ever again for that matter. "So.." - Katherine prolonged that little word, making it slide down her tongue.
"Katherine, I am kind of busy, we have guests" - Stefan said, wanting to get rid of her, to go back inside, to see how Elena is doing, to comfort her if she's sad, or worried, or self conscious. He did not want to think of Elena's feelings at the moment, because he wanted to stay completely cool in front of Katherine, and thinking about what's going through Elena's head made him want to go inside this very instant. Which is why he wanted to deal with Katherine as soon as possible, because he knew the longer he stays out there with her, the worse Elena's thoughts are going to be.
"We?" - Katherine said, disappointment obvious in her voice.
Stefan cleared his throat through a cough. "Yes, me and my - "
"Is she yours?" - Katherine interrupted him before he had a chance to finish his sentence. "The baby, is it yours?" - she asked with a husky voice.
Stefan exhaled deeply, moving his look away from Katherine's face. "Yes, she is" - a light smile appeared on his face as he said those words, from the sheer memory of actually having children.
"Can we talk?" - she asked, her voice was so desperate - "Please" - she begged him.
He looked at her eyes, which were glossy. He wanted some answers. More like he deserved them. Not because he needed them in order to move on, but to satisfy his own curiosity.
"Tomorrow, 9am, at Larry's" - Stefan said before turning around and disappearing behind the front door of his apartment.
xxxx
They decided to continue with the party like nothing had happened. Like Stefan's former fiance did not just knock on his door during a one years old birthday party. Caroline and Lexi kept sending Stefan positive looks, looks full of comfort and positivism. Elena smiled into his direction few times, but whenever he tried to get close to her, she would move away from him. This whole thing had been a little bit too much for her. Rose asked who was the lady that made everyone so quiet, but Damon told her to be quiet. Rose was probably too young to remember Katherine.
The girls fell asleep about an hour before everyone left. Caroline offered herself to stay and help them clean, but Stefan said that won't be necessary, indicating with his look him and Elena need some time alone now.
As soon as the last guest walked out of the door, Elena started collecting dirty dishes from the table to put them in a dishwasher.
"Elena" - Stefan said her name carefully, silently, gently, like saying it in any other way would break her.
"So, that's Katherine" - Elena said calmly while putting the dishes in the dishwasher. She was not angry, or disappointed, or sad, but she wasn't happy either. She knew he did nothing wrong. She was not blaming him for anything. But she was scared, no matter how irrational that fear may be.
"I did not know she will come here" - he said, like he's trying to defend himself - "Hell, I did not even know she's in town. I did not even want to see her" - he tried to find more words but they turned out to be unnecessary when he had noticed her confused face expression.
Does he really think she blames him for anything? She made few steps forward and took his hands in hers. "I know" - a light, sympathetic smile appeared on her face - "You do not have to defend yourself for her showing up at our door" - she squeezed his hands.
He should have known. Sometimes, he freaks out. He's so afraid of losing her, that every time a threat appears, he creates a scenario in his head where his worst fear comes true. He should have known she loves him enough and trusts him enough not to think he knew about her return in any way.
"But she is your ex" - Elena continued - "You were about to marry her. It is not that I don't trust you" - her grip on his hands lessened - "I do not trust other people" - she stated.
"I told her I'd meet her tomorrow" - he blurted out. Fuck, he was planning a whole other approach with this. It is not easy to tell your girlfriend you're going to grab a cup of coffee with your ex fiance. It should not be easy, and the words simply rolled of his tongue.
She pulled her hands back and frowned. "What?" - she asked angrily, through her teeth.
Her showing up unexpectedly at their doorstep was one thing, but him agreeing to spend time with her was a completely other story. "You do not own her anything" - Elena tried to keep her emotions in check and her voice lowered so she doesn't wake up the girls.
Stefan shook his head. "But I owe it to myself" - he locked his eyes on hers, determined not to let her break their eye contact - "I need to know why" - he tried to keep calm, but the accusatory look in her eyes, mixed with sadness and anger was making it hard for him.
"So you can move on?" - her voice was breaking, skipping a beat - "I thought you already did, with me" - she said with a husky voice, barely pronouncing the last part of the sentence out loud.
She looked like he had slapped her across the face. There were tears in her eyes waiting to break free every minute now.
"I did" - he said truthfully - "But I need to know what I did wrong so I don't do it again" - he said gently because he did not want to push her over her breaking point.
She looked into his eyes, eyes hers never left, not even for a second, and all she could see is pain. He never had his closure. He maybe moved on, found something else, something different, better, but he never found out why, what they had, broke. And until he does, he will keep blaming himself. And she did not want that for him. She did not want a lifetime of asking himself where had he gone wrong and worrying he will do it again, for him.
"Fine" - she said, and his eyes lit up.
"Fine?" - he asked to confirm it.
She nodded.
"But you do not like it?" - he asked, sighing.
"I hate it" - she said, before smiling in his direction - "But I love you."
xxxx
Stefan was sitting on his usual spot at Larry's, waiting for Katherine to arrive. It was fifteen minutes after nine. She was running late, so typical of her.
Even though yesterday Elena had accepted the fact he is going to meet Katherine, this morning, when he was about to leave, she was not in the mood for anything. When he kissed her goodbye, she did not kiss him back. When he said goodbye before stepping outside of the apartment, she waved at him, uninterested.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have never agreed on meeting her.
It's too late now, anyway.
The door of the coffee shop opened and Katherine walked in. She was wearing black, leather pants, spiky high heels and an ordinary black tank top over which she had a low cut leather jacket. She hasn't changed one bit. Her hair was the same, as well as her style, and the way she walked. When she walked into the room, she looked around herself to make sure all the eyes are on her. Afterwards, a satisfying smirk would appear on her face, like the one she had now.
Her look fell on the table she knew he would be sitting by, so she slowly, and elegantly, walked over to him. She smiled at him as she pulled a chair out, and sat on it. She placed her order with the waitress who kept looking at her like she's from another planet.
"What are we doing here?" - Stefan placed his hands on the table and lowered his body closer to her.
"Talking" - she giggled at her wittiness.
"And what are we talking about?" - he was not amused, and it was apparent in his voice.
"Us" - she leaned against a comfy, red leather chair.
"There is no us to talk about" - he said instantly.
She rolled her eyes. "I've missed you" - she smiled at him, with her beautiful smile, the one she used to give only to him while they were together.
"I've missed you too" - he said, and a glimmer of hope appeared in her eyes. That beautiful smile turned into a devilish smirk. "Then, at one point, I've stopped missing you" - and just like that, a victorious smirk disappeared from her face. "I've met someone who.." - Stefan was trying to find appropriate word that separated Elena from Katherine. It would be too cruel to say 'who loved me more than you ever did', because he knew Katherine loved him. "Who understood me better than you ever could. Than anyone ever could" - he corrected himself, pointing out how special Elena is to him, not only compared to her, but to everyone else. "Weren't you happy with Elijah?" - he asked curiously.
Katherine's expression was serious and the lines of her face hard. Things with Elijah obviously didn't go as she had planned. Do affairs ever end well? Maybe, in some rare cases. Mostly, they crash and burn.
"What is her name?" - she decided to dismiss the question regarding Elijah.
"Who's?" - he furrowed his brows.
"Your wife's" - corners of her mouth went upward.
"Elena" - Stefan decided there is no need to correct her and tell her Elena is not his wife. It was none of Katherine's business, and it would only make her ask a lot of questions, pointing out how he never wanted this life. But he always did, he simply got it in a different way and order than he thought he would.
"And how old is your daughter?" - she asked sincerely, or so it seemed to him.
"Daughters, actually" - he corrected her - "We have twins" - as he said so, her eyes grew wider. "They turned one yesterday" - he finally answered her question, proudly.
"Are you happy?" - she asked with a teary voice.
"Immensely" - he said truthfully. Because he was. Happier than he's ever been.
"Then you will be happy to know I'm not staying in town" - she smiled painfully as she looked at the ground.
"I need to know why, Katherine" - he said, and his voice was like a razor blade cutting through the air, which was enough to raise her head back up. "We were happy. At least I thought we were. I just need to know why would you throw everything we had away?" - he was curious, and expectant of her answer.
She inhaled deeply. "We were happy. I was happy with you. You made me extremely happy" - she said honestly while locking her eyes on his - "But I had a feeling like I was stuck in a life that was developing too fast for me. We had all the time in the world, and you were always hurrying somewhere. To get married, to start a family, have children.. I could see myself where you are now. If I stayed, this would be my life. Being a wife, being a mom. And I was not ready for that" - she explained, and he felt.. relieved.
"Thank you, Katherine" - he threw twenty bucks on the table, got up from the chair, put his jacket on, and before he left, he looked at her and said - "Have a nice life. I hope you find everything you're looking for."
xxxx
Before he went through the front door of their apartment, he checked his wrist watch. It was 2pm, and he knew he got held up longer than he intended to, and that Elena will not be glad for that.
The first thing he saw when he walked in was Elena sitting on the couch, watching some movie. Girls were nowhere to be seen, so he concluded she must have had put them for a nap. He felt guilty for leaving her and the girls alone for the whole morning on his free day.
"Date went well?" - she asked, not moving her look away from the screen. He could not tell is she mad, or is she teasing him. He walked over to the couch. "You were gone for quite some time, so you must have had fun" - she said as he sat down on the couch next to her.
Her face was dead serious. She was not mad, or angry. He tried to find the trace of tears on her face, but there wasn't one. She was not even crying. She was simply.. serious. Like she was tired of feeling anything about this subject. Maybe she realized she has nothing to worry about, or maybe she was numb to the whole thing.
"I know, I'm sorry" - he said, feeling an extra ounce of guilt for being so far away from home for so long.
"Do you have the answers you were looking for?" - she asked, not looking at him, not even once. Her look was still glued to the screen.
"Yes."
Now she turned her head around. Her cheeks were red, and her look was curious. "Oh?" - silently escaped her lips.
He nodded. "She was scared of.. of having this" - he looked around before moving his look back at her - "Of having a family. Of being someone's wife, someone's mother" - he clapped with the palms of his hands.
Her eyes were wide, locked on his face, on his eyes, and his lips. "But why cheat on you? Why not simply break it off?" - she asked curiously. She never did understand cheaters. Why hurt, and disrespect someone like that? If you want out, cheating is not a solution, letting that person go is.
"She said she panicked. I guess she was scared of being alone, but what I wanted from her was too much for her to give."
Elena smiled at him, even though she did not know the cause of that smile. Maybe because she was in the place Katherine was supposed to be. Or maybe she's in this place now because she was always supposed to be in it, not Katherine. She was simply a device to make that clear.
"But you did" - he took her hand in his - "You gave me everything I ever wanted. Family, love, happiness.. home" - he squeezed her hand, caressing the top of her hand with his thumb.
"No" - she shook her head - "We had built it together" - she smiled at him. "As much as I gave you everything you wanted, you did the same for me."
His eyes were glossy, and they smiled alongside his lips.
"I love you" - he said, and he felt like he's saying it for the first time, and her heart played like she's hearing it for the first time. "Which is why it took me so long to come home."
She furrowed her brows and gave him a confused look.
He had let go of her hand and reached for his pocket.
"I was with Katherine for fifteen minutes only" - he said as he looked down at his hand - "And after she told me how afraid she was, I realized you never were. You were always so strong. For yourself, for our children, there were times when you were even strong for me. And even though when the thought of falling in love again scared you, you gave it a chance. You gave me a chance, you gave us a chance" - a little black box was sitting on his palm, making her nervous. "When you told me you're pregnant, I kept asking myself, how did I allow this to happen? I kept thinking this is not how my life was supposed to turn out. But with time, I've realized, I did not allow anything to happen, it was supposed to happen. I've always wanted you, and how our relationship started, it really doesn't matter, because it doesn't make a difference. I'm where I always wanted to be. Where I'm supposed to be. When I'm with you, I'm home" - he raised his look from his palm to her face, where he caught her nervous look. She was biting her lower lip. "I know we said we're going to take our time, but why? I found the person I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with" - he got from the couch and knelt down in front of her. She was following his movements with her expectant look. He opened the little black box, and her look fell on a precious diamond ring in it. "I spent hours in various jewelry stores" - he said, taking the ring out of the box - "Only when I finally stumbled on something as perfect as you, is when I had known my search is over" - he took her hand in his, caressing it with his thumb - "Even though there is not a thing in this world that could compare to your beauty or grace. You're more precious than any diamond, which is why it would be my honor to make you my wife" - he looked into her eyes, expecting her response.
She had tears in her eyes. She was so not prepared for this. Her hair was tied into a messy bun, and she was wearing sweatpants and Stefan's hoodie. She knew he doesn't care how she looks like. She could have been dressed in rags and he would see nothing but her beauty. It was part of who Stefan was. Even when she was a beggar, he treated her like a queen.
"The honor is all mine, Mr. Salvatore" - she said, releasing a first tear which fell down her cheek and disappeared in the corner of her lips as she smiled.
He smiled back at her as he slid a ring down her finger. She looked down at her finger, and a sight of a ring on it was stranger, but somehow, she was sure she's going to get used to it.
She threw her arms around his neck and started playing with his hair. She was looking at him with so much.. love. There was no other word for it.. it was simply love. So simple, but yet so complicated.
"What is it?" - he asked, the intensity of her look pressing his being.
"Thank you" - she caressed his face with her look.
"For what?" - he asked curiously.
"For making me the happiest person alive" - she said before she pulled him into a passionate kiss.
They were trapped in their own little world. In a pawnshop of madness. She was a broken doll, and he was her artisan. He opened her up and with much needed gentleness, fixed the most important casters of her machine, teaching her how to smile again.
Years later, Emily asked, "Daddy, do fairytales come true?", and Stefan looked at his wife who was braiding the hair of their other daughter, and after looking back at Emily, he replied - "Only if you believe in them."
xxxx
Only one more chapter left, which will be an epilogue.
I'd really like to tell you something optimistic about the show, but I'm afraid I do not have any optimistic words. I think this is when our curtain goes down, at least for some time, if not forever. But you need to remember - you have to love your otp even when they're at their lowest, because that is when they need you the most. If there is one thing Stelena had taught me, it is to never lose hope, and to never give up.