All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 8 – Tense

Epov

I couldn't believe I had slept so late. It was already after eleven o'clock, damn near noon, actually. Stupid sleeping pill.

I ran to the shower and washed up. I felt the scruff on my face and debated back and forth whether or not to shave. She was in college and she saw cool college guys all the time. The scruffy look was in, right?

I ran my hand over my rough face. It felt uncomfortable. I wanted to kiss her again. I shouldn't assume she would let me kiss her again, though.

She was fine with it when she thought I was nuts. I mean, not fine, but she let me get away with it. I was trying to convince her I was sane now.

I wanted her to want to kiss me.

I decided to shave, just in case.

I ran to my closet and tried to find something to wear. I wanted to look good for her. I wanted to look worthy of someone as beautiful as her. I tried on six different shirts and then sat down on my bed frustrated. Nothing I could do would make me not look insane. She had picked me up from the asylum, for heaven sakes. If that didn't prove I was nuts, I didn't know what would.

My phone rang and I answered it quickly, half hoping it was Bella, then realizing that Bella didn't have my number.

I would have to change that.

"Hello?"I forgot to look at the caller ID.

"Hey, Edward, it's Alice. Your mom called me and told me you were stuck in your closet."

"What?"

"Look, Edward, she didn't say what you were getting dressed up for, but whatever it is, you can't go wrong in green. It makes your eyes pop. If I didn't have my Jazzy, I would even take a shot at you."

"Um, thanks?" Alice was like a sister to me. The thought of her hitting on me was creepy.

"Hey, no problem. Let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you, Alice. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah, I know you love me."

I quickly dressed in my dark green button down and decided to roll the sleeves so I would look casual. It was her summer break. She was on vacation; she would be casual.

I headed down the stairs, when my mother called to me. "Edward, there's someone here to see you."

She didn't sound pleased. I wondered who it was. I rounded the corner and saw Tanya standing in the entry way holding a container of soup.

"I brought you some soup. It is my grandma's recipe," she offered with her big scary smile.

"Ah, thank you, Tanya."

I led her to the dining room. My mother forced a polite smile and handed me two bowls and spoons. Well, I hadn't eaten breakfast yet, so I might as well.

"Care to join me?" I offered to be polite.

"Oh, thank you," she batted her eyelashes at me.

I served us up some soup. It actually smelled pretty good and looked alright. There were no beaks or feet floating in it. Of course, after I took my first bite, I knew why.

"Wow, Tanya, this soup is so good."

She smiled widely. "Thank you. I knew I just had to dig out my grandma's recipe, when I heard you were sick."

"That's very kind of you. Your grandma has an excellent recipe. It tastes just like Progresso's chicken noodle."

Her eyes widened in panic for a minute, but she covered it up quickly.

"Well, yes, my grandma was an excellent cook."

I just chuckled under my breath. Yeah, granny must be a millionaire, if she sold her recipe to Progresso, or Tanya just dumped a can of soup in a bowl and heated it in the microwave, which was more likely.

Tanya was not very domestic.

My mother must have been within ear shot. "Edward, you'll have to get that recipe from Tanya for me. It never hurts to add to the recipe box."

I smiled up at Tanya as she choked on her soup.

"You'll have to bring a copy of the recipe in to the office, so I can give it to my mom. I'll definitely want some more of this again."

Tanya was getting more nervous by the second.

She just nodded, plastering a smile on her face, "Of course, Edward, anything for you."

My mother interrupted again. She was holding my present for Bella. "Edward, I was hoping you could deliver this package for me today, if you don't mind."

I stood up, relieved for the excuse to ditch Tanya.

"Oh, I can do that, Mrs. Cullen. Edward should rest if he's not feeling well," Tanya jumped in.

"No, no, this is to an old friend. I want him to meet with them. He'll be fine." She winked at me and shooed me out the garage door. I hopped in my car and sped toward Bella's house.

Once I got to the 'Welcome to Forks' sign, my nerves set in. I breathed in deeply. "I'm just going to say I'm sorry for attacking her and give her the gift," I told myself.

She would like it. How could she not? It was a first edition classic. She loved books. I was sure she would like it.

I finally calmed myself, but it was all in vain when I arrived at her home. I sat a few moments, trying to get up the nerve to get out.

"I'm just saying sorry," I told myself again and hurried to the door before could change my mind.

I knocked on the door. I ran my hand through my hair trying to tame it one last time in vain.

Stupid hair.

I realized I had been standing there for a while. What if she wasn't home? I should have called.

I knocked one last time, somewhat relieved I didn't have to face her yet. She obviously wasn't home. There were no cars in the driveway.

The door flew open and there she stood in all her perfection and she smelled deliciously sweet.

I gripped the book tightly to keep from touching her and then realized I was still just standing there starring like a fool. I shoved the book into her hands and she looked at it confused.

Way to go, moron.

"This is to say sorry for kissing you yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you or anything," I stumbled out.

Smooth, Cullen.

I wanted to smack my own forehead.

She just kept looking at it and I started freaking out internally. What if she thinks it was like a liver or something. She did think I was crazy. Fuck!

"Well, are you going to open it?" She had to open it to see that I was, in fact, sane and not a psycho.

She invited me in and we sat down on the couch awkwardly.

She unwrapped the gift insanely slowly, but once she finally opened it, her reaction freaked me out.

She started crying.

Was that good or bad?

Tears were bad, weren't they?

Of course, sometimes when Esme cried it was because of something good. I asked if she like it, if she had that book or not and then she pointed out an old paperback falling apart on the table.

I smiled. They were good tears. I was able to relax a little.

I asked her about school and was shocked to find out that she wasn't in school, but she was a teacher. My confusion must've shown on my face, because she went on to explain that she wanted to help people.

My sweet Bella always wanted to help. She really was perfect. As long as she was happy, I didn't care what she did. She was interrupted by the front door. Someone came stomping in calling for her.

She hopped up as if she was on fire and ran to meet them.

I could just make out some quiet chatter, but no words and then I heard her giggle. I wondered who was making her giggle.

I stood up and headed toward the intruder and saw Jake heading down the hall with something on his shoulder.

What the hell?

Bella came flying back into the house and slammed into the front of me. She looked up at me panicked and gripped tightly to what was in her hand.

"Is everything okay?"

She didn't sound sure about her answer and I wanted to press her for more. I asked if that was Jake and she confirmed that it was. I heard the bath start running and wondered what the heck he was doing.

Was he washing something for her, was he taking a bath?

She said he wasn't, but was still acting weird. Then the most unexpected thing happened. A small child's voice rang out.

"Mom!"

She quickly darted down the hallway toward the voice and was slightly damp when she returned. Jake was giving a kid a bath.

One that called her mom.

"You have a kid?"

But before she could answer another little voice rang out. "Mommy!"

"Two," she confirmed and took off again.

My heart broke.

She didn't love me like I loved her.

She had obviously fallen in love with someone else and forgotten all about me. I couldn't believe I spent all these years pining away for her like an idiot. Did I really think she would wait for me?

Obviously not!

A twenty four year old virgin was a rare thing these days. I should have expected as much. I moved to leave. She was obviously very busy with her children and I was in her way.

God, I was such a fool.

I half wanted to see her kids, though. I bet they were cute. I bet they were perfect, just like her.

I stopped that thought right there. She had moved on. She didn't love me anymore. Being the sweet wonderful woman she was, of course she would be polite and entertain the crazy ex-boyfriend.

I would never be more than that to her.

I had to get out of there. I told her goodbye and she was quick to shut the door on me confirming my suspicions.

She didn't want to see me anymore.

A/N: I told you Edward wasn't a jerk. Thanks for reading please review.