"So," said Raj smugly as he sat at the lunch table. "You're looking at one of the best and brightest representing astrophysics at this upcoming donors' gathering."

"And coincidently enough, you're looking at the only astronaut going, too," grinned Howard.

"Really? Me too!" gushed Leonard. "That Hawking trip totally got me on board with the administration for my latest project."

As one they all looked to Sheldon, whose gaze dropped to his pasta salad.

"Donor galas are silly," he said although his cheeks began to flush.

"Don't worry about it," Leonard soothed. "Give it time and you'll come up with something for dark matter."

"Leonard, I worked myself up from East Texas to a double doctorate before age twenty," Sheldon said slowly. "Like Oliver Queen I've gone down into the depths but it will only make me stronger." He sat straight in his chair. "The Arrow always hits his mark and I defy any of you to tell me I won't pierce the heart of dark matter and solidify my place as one of the giants of science."

"Well, if your ego reflects your talent and ambition I think you're more than capable of doing it," Raj smirked.

"Indeed it does." Sheldon stood. "Now if you'll excuse me I've calculations to write." He grabbed at the air beside himself with both hands and then seemingly lifted something over his head and onto his back.

"What are you doing?" asked Howard.

"Loading my quiver. Gentlemen." Sheldon took up his tray and departed.

"Is it just me or is Sheldon a lot whackier since he started dating Martha?" Raj asked. "He's always making comic book references to himself."

"He's also out and about a lot more," added Leonard. "If he's not with Martha he's out with Tracy and company." He shook his head. "I even heard him making plans one night to go to The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"So he's got new friends," said Howard. "He's happy. We should all be so lucky."

"Hey, we are that lucky," Leonard said defensively.

"When's the last time we went to a Renaissance Fair or went paintballing or bounced a laser off the moon?"

"I've been busy with Emily," said Raj. "But I'm sure she'd be cool with going to the Fair—especially if they have torture devices," he added with a bit of a blush.

"Penny and I kind of do our own thing," said Leonard.

"Movies, sex and eating," Howard said bluntly.

"You're making us sound boring," Leonard said with a frown.

"What happened to us?" Howard said adamantly. "We used to be adventurous. Spontaneous."

"Life, Howard," Raj said. "Relationships."

"We grew up," Leonard said firmly.

"So how come Sheldon has a new career and a girlfriend and new friends and yet he's still playing paintball and MWOK and reading comic books in the open without being mocked or condescended and basically having fun?" asked Howard pointedly.

Silence.

"No wonder he's an arrogant ass. He is a bloody genius," Raj said softly.

XXX

Sheldon held his breath as he looked down the shaft of his imaginary arrow towards a particular formula on his whiteboard. He then released it and it flew to the board.

"Correct," he said and drew out another arrow. He knocked it and again pulled back on the bow, this time aiming at another formula. He sensed someone appear at the door behind him but kept his focus. A moment and then he let loose with the arrow.

"Am I intruding, Dr. Cooper?" asked Martha as she leaned against the doorframe with a grin on her face.

"Not at all, Dr. Wallace. I'm just prepping for this afternoon's work."

"Well before you get hunting I've got an invitation for you."

" I'm already a card-carrying member of the Justice League," he said with a smirk.

"Okay, nothing that monumental but kind of important to me."

"What is it?" Sheldon unstrung his bow.

"President Siebert has a donors' gathering coming up and has invited certain faculty to represent their areas of research," said Martha excitedly.

"Yes, I'm aware," Sheldon said stiffly.

"Well, I've been selected to represent the humanities interdisciplinary studies and I was wondering, kind sir, if you'd be my date?"

"No thank you," said Sheldon and turned back to his whiteboard.

"Look, I realize it's not going to be exciting but I figured misery loves company and all that jazz," said Martha. Sheldon let out a sigh and turned to address her.

"Martha, the night is supposedly for showcasing the best and brightest at the university," he said.

"Your point?" Martha frowned.

"I'm not invited."

"I'm inviting you."

"It's not the same," Sheldon sniffed. "I won the President's medal for science and the Stevenson award. I should be celebrated not someone's arm candy."

"So if this was reversed you'd expect me to be your arm candy?" Martha said with a crooked smile.

"Well, you are my girlfriend."

"And on that misogynistic note I rescind my invitation. Happy hunting, Dr. Cooper."

As Martha left Sheldon turned back to his whiteboard and strung his bow. He then took out an arrow, notched it, and drew back. He let it go.

"Drat," Sheldon muttered.

He went to the whiteboard, plucked out the two arrows that had hit the formulas, before going to the third which had flown to the right corner. Sheldon returned to his shooting line and put away two of the arrows. He notched the remaining arrow and drew back.

A pause and then he relaxed the bow. He put the arrow in the quiver and unstrung his bow before slinging it across his chest. He then darted out of his office and down the hall.

"Dr. Wallace!" he called out. "Dr. Wallace!"

Sheldon swung around a corner to find a stopped Martha in the hall.

"Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon took her hand and dragged her down the hallway and around the corner to a second hall. They stopped in front of a utility closet and he drew out the key and opened the door.

"Where'd you get the key?" she asked amusedly.

"It's a room full of cleaning products. You really think I'd let the opportunity pass?" he snorted as he again took up her hand and they entered the closet.

"So what can I do for you?" asked Martha as Sheldon closed the door.

He cleared his throat before turning around.

"I'd like to accompany you to the donors' gala," he said in a low voice.

"I thought you weren't interested?" Martha teased.

"I'm not."

"So why the change of heart?"

Sheldon straightened and clasped his hands behind his back.

"As the humanities are seldom recognized I realize this might be one of the few opportunities I'll have to publically support you," he sniffed. Martha laughed.

"Gee thanks," she grinned.

"You're welcome."

"You know I'm interpreting this as 'Martha, I realize I was a selfish ass just now and I'd like to man up and do the right thing, which is to accompany my girlfriend to her social event'."

"Pish."

"See, now that's 'I find it unnerving that you can read me this well'."

"Well, that's enough of these carnival mind-reading shenanigans," Sheldon said as he opened the door and exited the closet.

"Don't forget about Thursday," said Martha. "And wear dark clothing."

Sheldon watched her go down the hall.

"Of all the people in the universe I end up dating Saturn Girl," he grumbled.

xTBBTx

"I can't wait to get this drug through trials," gushed Bernadette as she and Penny were having lunch in the cafeteria. "It's like a Viagra for women." Penny perked up.

"Any side effects?" she said.

"So far just nausea, vertigo, headaches, changes in mood, stroke and brain bleeding."

"Sounds kinda dangerous."

"You ever read the fine print on a contraceptive pill?"

"Good point," said Penny just as her phone indicated an incoming text. She picked it up and read.

"What?" asked Bernadette as she saw Penny make an 'oh shit' face.

"It's from Amy. She's coming back." Penny glanced over the message. "She's hoping we can hook up for a girls' night this weekend." She looked to Bernadette. "I don't think it's a good thing having it at my place."

"Afraid she'll bump into Sheldon and his new girlfriend, huh? Penny it's been just about a year. I'm sure Amy is over him."

"I hope so," Penny shrugged. "It's just that I'm Sheldon's friend, too, and it's taken him quite a while to get his groove back."

"Well, you and Leonard stayed friends even when he was dating someone else," Bernadette reminded her.

"That was really hard," Penny said. "Besides, Amy's..."

"Nuts?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe this time away will have put her into a better frame of mind." Bernadette grinned. "At the very least you'll have to get that portrait back on the wall."

"Oh balls," Penny sighed.

xTBBTx

As the car continued down the road Sheldon turned to regard his similarly black-clad girlfriend as she drove. She even had a black bandanna around her neck and one on her head.

"Is this a hazing like a convenience store robbery?" Sheldon asked. "Because I won't do it."

"How did you know guns would be involved?" Martha replied sweetly. Sheldon's eyes widened.

"You're joking." Silence. "Martha. You're joking."

"Would I lie to you, Superman?" she grinned.

"This is in violation of—well if we had a Relationship Agreement you'd be in violation of it," he said excitedly.

"Then it's a good thing we don't have one."

"Something which I'll rectify after this evening let me assure you. Should I live," he added.

"Sheldon, you're out with a bunch of girls. What could possibly go wrong?"

"Everything if Missy's slumber parties are anything to judge this by. And FYI, if you hold me down and apply makeup to me our relationship is over."

"Understood."

She signaled and Sheldon read the sign for Party Zone Laser Tag.

"This is ladies night?"

"Once a month like clockwork," smiled Martha.

They got out of the car and entered the building. In the front lounge area were an assortment of people. Martha went over to a group of three women. Sheldon immediately recognized Abby.

"Ladies," said Martha.

"So, this is the infamous Dr. Sheldon Cooper, is it?" asked a short curly-haired woman with glasses and a grin.

"Infamous?" asked Sheldon.

"Well, Martha said you were on your way to being a supervillain," the woman winked. "I'm Robin."

"Nicole, here," said a brunette with a ponytail and blunt cut bangs.

Sheldon nodded before looking to Abby.

"You're Abby, Rajesh's previous coital hookup," he said.

"Uh, yeah," Abby flushed. The other women laughed.

"The free for all starts in half an hour," Martha explained to Sheldon. "We always book ahead to warm up. You know, play teams."

"Alright," said Sheldon. "We'll have to decide which team gets the extra player."

"I've got a better idea," said Robin with a sly smile. "Let's go guys versus girls."

"That seems a little lopsided."

"Martha says you're a keeper," smirked Nicole. "We just wanna see if you're as good as she thinks you are."

Sheldon stood to his full height. "Lock and load, ladies."

XXX

Leonard and Penny looked up from watching TV as Sheldon came into the apartment.

"So how was Ladies Night?" asked Penny with a smile. "Are your times of the month in synch?"

"Hardly," Sheldon tsked. "And, for the record, physically impossible." He scowled at Penny's chuckle. "At any rate, Martha took me out for laser tag with her friends."

"Sounds fun," said Leonard, feeling a twinge of jealousy.

"It was challenging at the start. It was four against one for half an hour—"

"Ooo! Ooo! One guess who was the one!" Penny teased.

"-At which time the general populous entered and we had a free-for-all. Once we finished we went out for pizza and, I believe the vernacular is that I was 'grilled'," added Sheldon as he crossed the living room to the hall.

"So how do you think you did?"

"Reasonably well. Martha says she still admits to being my girlfriend so I should take that as a victory," Sheldon said evenly. "That was sarcasm." He went down the hall a couple of steps before turning back to his friends. "You know, Leonard, I think I might have misjudged the liberal arts after all." He ventured into the washroom and closed the door.

"What?" asked Penny as she took in Leonard's dropped jaw.

"Sheldon found merit in the humanities," he said, amazed. "It's like you admitting you actually enjoy Star Wars."

"Wow."

"So there is hope," Leonard grinned.

"Not on your life, Mr. Sulu," Penny said with narrowed eyes.

"He's Star Trek," Leonard amended. "Han Solo is Star Wars."

"I can name all the Kardashians," Penny smiled and the both of them went back to watching tv.

xTBBTx

"God I missed that picture!" Amy sighed happily as she sat on Penny's couch with a glass of wine staring at their portrait.

"Yeah it really adds an ambience to the room," grinned Bernadette. She caught Penny's glare and winked.

"So, Amy, what's been happening in Chicago?" asked Penny as she angled her chair so that she didn't have to see the portrait.

"Well the experiment proved fruitful, thanks to my expertise," Amy said primly. "I've really made a name for myself in the field of addiction study." She smiled satisfactorily. "Yep, when you think about the dissected brains of drug addicted animals you think Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Yeah, but let's not think about the brains right now," Penny said with a sickly look on her face.

"I was going to stay for the write up but I got an invitation from a colleague to attend a donors' gala at Caltech." Amy took a sip of wine.

"We're going, too," said Bernadette. "Everyone's been invited to go."

"Excellent. A night with my bestie and her cute in the right light friend and a room full of the best and brightest in academia and beyond," said Amy. She traced the rim of her glass with her finger. "So I take it Sheldon will be there?" she asked lightly.

Again Bernadette and Penny looked at each other.

"That's what Leonard said," Penny said diplomatically.

"Barry tells me that Sheldon's settled himself into dark matter now."

"Among other things," Bernadette said before slipping a hand over her mouth.

"What do you mean?" asked Amy.

"So. Druggie monkey brains—" began Penny.

"What about Sheldon?" Amy asked again, this time with a frown.

"Well," Penny began slowly and very diplomatically. "Like you know he's into dark matter. He's now a junior professor. Leonard's moving out of the apartment next month. He's got a girlfriend. He's—"

"What?!" Amy gasped. "But we just broke up!"

"Amy, that was over eleven months ago," said Bernadette.

"But we really had something!" Amy growled.

Penny was confused.

"But you're the one who dumped him," she said.

"Because I wanted him to see what I did for him. How hard I sacrificed to get him from the robot he was before to the man he is today." Amy shook her head. "He's supposed to realize that he needs me and appreciates all the changes I've made to him. Changes so we can take our relationship to the next level." She fumed. "I had a five year plan!"

"Guess that plan hit a snafu," said Bernadette.

"So who is she?" Amy said icily.

"A professor or something in the humanities department," said Penny.

"Humanities?! Is this some kind of joke?" Silence. "What could Sheldon possibly have to say to someone outside of the sciences?"

"Well, she likes comic books."

"We had a relationship of the mind," Amy sniffed. "I leave for a year and he regresses back to his juvenile behavior—and this time finds an enabler." She scowled at Penny. "This is your fault."

"Mine?" gasped Penny.

"Your friendship with Sheldon has made him susceptible to mundane intelligences."

"What the hell's with you guys and 'mundane'?" Penny snapped.

"A word outside your vernacular. Exactly my point."

"Oh yeah, well Leonard's also a genius so why am I smart enough for him?"

"Your secondary sexual characteristics are bodacious plus the appeal of having sex with you is overwhelming," sniffed Amy.

"Or maybe he appreciates me for my smarts, too, and sex is the way he shows it."

"Eyah." Bernadette took a sip of wine.

"Screw the both of you," Penny snarled before storming off to her bedroom and closing the door.

"So how long has Sheldon been dating?" Amy asked in a civil voice after a moment.

"Not sure," replied Bernadette. "Howard met her. He said she's nice."

"I still find it hard to believe Sheldon's level of aloofness, disdain of others and arrogance could attract a mate."

"Well, he's not exactly as aloof as he used to be," Bernadette said delicately.

"What do you mean?" Amy asked, her eyebrows one big massive frown.

"Well, there's a possibility they're having sex."

Amy nearly had a stroke.

"Sex? Sheldon?" she said in a strangled voice.

"At the very least we know he's had sex with Elizabeth," added Bernadette.

"Elizabeth?"

"His friend from Chicago."

"So let me get this straight," Amy said angrily. "It's taken me three years to get a kiss from him and the moment I break off with him Sheldon's having sex?"

"Sorry Amy," Bernadette said.

"Well. Looks like they've benefitted from the fruits or my labour." Amy's eyes narrowed. "What's his girlfriend's name?"

"Martha. They met on the same dating site Howard used to find you."

"But it said I was Sheldon's perfect match!"

"Well, you know how these dating sites are," Bernadette said as she got up. "Let me get the other bottle of wine. I'm sure the sound of the cork popping will bring Penny out."

Amy sat with a frown on her face before finishing off her wine. Things were most definitely not going according to plan.

Time for Plan B.

XXX

Penny sat on the couch drunk as a skunk. Bernadette and Amy had left and she was still pissed at them for the comments they made about her intelligence. But, more to the point, she was furious at herself for coming out of her room to kill off the second bottle of wine with them.

"Okay, I'm not the smartest person in the group but it's not like I'm stupid," she snorted. "I mean Sheldon talks to me all the time about stuff."

A knock at the door and then Leonard entered wearing his housecoat and slippers.

"All clear on the estrogen front?" he quipped.

"YuP."

"Great. I'll get the bed ready."

"Leonard, do you think I'm smart?"

"In what way?" he asked.

Penny snorted. "See, why do you say things like that?"

"Like what?" Leonard said, confused. He went to the couch but didn't sit.

"'In what way'. Smart is smart."

"That's not true. There are varying categories of smartness including cognitive—"

"Quit being a smart-ass and just answer the question," Penny snapped as she sat up and glared.

"What was the question again?" Leonard asked nervously.

"Never mind. You answered it."

Leonard sighed.

"Look, do I think you're going to be a rocket scientist, no. But that doesn't mean I think you're stupid," he explained gently.

"I didn't ask if I was stupid. I asked if you thought I was smart!" Penny growled.

"Well of course you are."

"Liar."

"Penny, it doesn't matter to me if you're smart or not."

"So even if I was a complete idiot you'd still love me?" she asked incredulously.

"Of course," Leonard said brightly. He winked at her before heading to the bedroom.

Penny fingered the rim of her glass in thought.