A Disturbed Savior: When I'm Gone
Disclaimer : I DO NOT OWN DRAGONBALL/Z/GT OR ANYTHING DRAGONBALL RELATED FOR THAT MATTER. ALL OF THAT IS PROPERTY OF AKIRA TORIYAMA, TOEI AND FUNIMATION.
"And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice just know that I'm looking down on you smiling And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel my pain just smile back." - Eminem
For a minute they both just stood there, backs to each other. The whole class frozen with them, not able to make out what was happening, or what had just happened. He appeared out of no where and just saved the game for one team and royally screwed it up for another.
It took her a minute to fully grasp what just happened. She was really into the game and didn't appreciate the help she received, even though her team would have lost. Finally snapping out of her daze she turned to face his back. "Hey what's the big idea! You just ruined the game! Why the hell did you do that? What were you thinking!"
He was too busy bleeding out her whining drifting in his own thoughts. 'How am I going to explain this? There's no easy way out of this. Do I just say it all, no questions asked? Or do I let her ask and I answer? I wish this was easier! I wish there was a guide for this sort of thing! I need help! But the only person who can help me is Vegeta. Dammit!'
"Hey are you even listening to me? HELLO! EARTH TO GOHAN! ANYONE HOME!"
'She still talking? Ugh, with her attitude this is going to be harder than it has to be. She needs to just shut up for once. Seriously, to think I have to spend my life with her whether I like it or not is bad enough, but if I have to put up with all of her bitching and whining for the rest of my life, I'd rather fight Cell again than go through a lifetime of headaches one day after another.'
"HELL-O! You're not even listening to me! Do you even he-"
"SHUT! UP!" Videl took a step back as he boasted his anger. Never had she hear him yell so angrily. Sure, she had seen him angry, but he never voiced it in front of her.
"Do you EVER, EVER, listen? For just two seconds.! Can you please, just shut, up! This isn't easy you know? There's no easy way to tell you this." His voice gradually lowered as it became almost a mumble up to the last word.
"What? Tell me what? Why don't you just say it right here? I'm all ears!" She folded her arms and walked to his front where his head was still bent facing the ground. What was going on in his head was the only thing she really wanted to know.
"It's, it's not easy. It's not for everyone to hear. It's not something the world has to know." 'Yet.' He shook his head. 'What was that about? Did I just think that?' Gohan's stare went from down at the ground to up in the sky. 'How should I do t-'
'What the hell is he staring at? It's clear as day, not a cloud in the sky. He's not checking to see if it's going to rain. Or, maybe he's going to make it rain? Like he did before up on the roof. That was crazy. Whatever he plans on telling me, he better get it over with. 'Cause I have a hell of a lot more questions to ask.' Videl thought she had this all planned out. She was going to get exactly what she wanted. Or was she?
"You done yet?" He asked, lowering his pupils to be on set with hers.
"What is that supposed to mean? I haven't said a word. You're the one who said we needed to talk. Not me." The young Saiyan let out a loud sigh and started walking past her as he shook his head in disbelief.
"Just had to be her, didn't it?" he mumbled. Hoping she heard it.
"Hey, where do you think you're going? You have some explaining to do." Soon enough he was off the field, which by this point was cleared due to the class period having ended. That last out that Gohan caught was the last play of the to be continued game.
"Are you coming or not?" She followed him to the base of the school. He stared up at the tall building and started slowly floating up to the roof. "Meet me up on the roof." He continued ascending upwards.
"What the? Hey! Why don't you just bring me up there with you! HELLO! GOHAN!GO-HAN! Agh! Asshole." She mumbled before running into the school and found herself dodging the majority of the student body as she tried making her way to the stairs.
Thankfully she was light on her feet and was able to avoid making contact with most of her pupils. The one's who weren't so lucky were knocked on the ground and fell into other students causing a chain reaction. "Sorry!" The raven haired girl yelped as she reached the stairs and started climbing.
'Jerk! Making me run all the way up here when he could have just carried me. I'll get him for this.' Continuing to ascend up the stair case was the persistent girl. It took her around 5 minutes to reach the final case of stairs. "Finally." She leaned on the door to catch her breathe for a moment, beads of sweat running down her face. She wiped her face before opening the door leading to the outside and started walking to where Gohan was sitting, his usual seat at the edge.
"Took you long enough."
"WHAT! IT'S YOU-"
"Shhhhhhhhhhh" He attempted to shut her up. But this just angered her.
"WHAT! ARE YOU SHUSHING ME! THIS IS YOUR STUPID IDEA!" She began to attack him verbally, he attempted to block it all out. Quite a task considering who was yelling.
He let out a loud sigh once more as he looked down at the streets below. "This'll never work. I should just end it here before it even begins." He wasn't hoping for anything serious, but just understandable if she would just listen.
"What will never work? Start spilling Son. All of this waiting and you've yet to say a word. Now speak up, what's the big deal. Why are we up here and what's so important that it can't wait until after last period?"
Her impatience was beginning to get to him. There was only so much he could take before he blew something up. But that wasn't him anymore. That was the old Gohan. This was the new Gohan. The one that would control his anger.
Another deep breathe before he hoisted himself up on his feet. This was what he's been thinking about, the only thing that's been on his mind since he knew. Without her asking he just started talking, to the sky, to wind, to her, who knows, he just started to monologue
"You know, for as long as I can remember, all I've wanted to do was to be able to protect my friends and family whenever I had the chance to, whenever it was my turn. And even though all of my friends think that I've accomplished so much, I feel like I've done is fail them, time after time. I've never been able to protect anyone, I've always had the strength to do so, but my stupid self conscious has always held me back, always held my strength back. I've had this gift to do good, but I've never known how to use it."
He rolled his fists into balls and started squeezing until he felt blood trickles down his knuckles. It wasn't anger he was feeling, it was disgust, in himself.
"After my dad came back, I thought that I would never have to worry anymore. That I would never have to worry about being the one that had to save everyone. All that time spent training, all those hours of shedding blood, I never thought that even for a second, that I would have to be the one to finish the job."
"G-Goha"
"But then he came. And killed millions, just to get what he wanted. Just so he could be the best. It's wrong. It's all wrong!"
Videl started inching towards Gohan as he told his story, she had no idea where he was going with this, he could be talking about anything.
"When the time finally came, I thought my dad was going to save everyone, just like he always did, he just like he was supposed to. I watched the whole fight with anxiously, just waiting for my dad to put the finishing touches on, just waiting for him to pull out this, this secret move that he kept hidden from everyone. This new technique that was going to change everything, it was going to save everyone!"
She inched closer and could have sworn he was crying in between his little speech. She couldn't help but feel as if this was going somewhere. She wanted to just reach out for him. She started extending her arm until his tail wrapped itself around her wrist. She tried pulling it out, but it was too tight of a hold.
"And then he quit. He admitted defeat in front of everyone, in front of the whole world. My dad, the man who's saved the world countless times, just quits in the middle of a fight. At that point, I lost all hope. Where was this special attack? Where was this surprise that we were all waiting for, that made my dad seem so relaxed for 9 days? I thought it was all over. I couldn't help but think that it was the end."
He squeezed harder on her wrist and began tugging, pulling her closer to him, still with his back to her.
"No one knew what was going on inside my dad's head right then. I don't think he even knew what he was doing. The next I knew, I was being thrown into the fire to finish the job. ME! An 11 year old kid who never wanted to see anyone get hurt! I didn't know what my dad was thinking. I thought he was joking, as did everyone else. No one could believe it, he was the only one who thought he was doing the right thing."
Gohan continued to tell his story about the fight, sometime in between, Videl figured out what he was finally talking about. Now she knew what was wrong with him, or so she thought. This was simply icing on the cake compared to everything else she still needed to know.
"I felt so weak and useless. I had this power that I couldn't touch, that I just couldn't feel. It was always there, growing and growing with each fight, but I couldn't willingly use it. And at this time, the most desperate of situations, even after all the training I had been through. All those years spent trying to get stronger, hoping to never have to use that power, I end up begging my conscious to release it."
"But I couldn't do it alone. Every time I've tapped into this, this amazing hidden power, someone has always had to pay the ultimate price. It's not fair! What was the use of this amazing strength if I couldn't even use it! WHY ME!"
Gohan fell over as his screams echoed over the area, the birds flapped all around, escaping the screams and flying out into the distance, traffic stopped as everyone was temporarily deafened by the scream. His tail released it's grasp on Videl's arm and curled around and laid limp on the ground. He pounded his fist into the concrete making an indentation where he punched the ground.
"No one had to die that day. It's all my fault. It's because I'm so weak that I couldn't save everyone. I let my conscious get in the way of what was important to me. And he, was willing to do anything to push me past that brick wall. He knew what had to be done, he was pushing me the whole time, just forcing me to lose it."
He dug his fist into the pavement one more time. Knuckles dripping of blood, his skin breaking with every ground shaking pound.
"I finally snapped. He finally got what he wanted. He finally accomplished what no one else was able to do. He kicked down the brick wall and forced me to walk through. I finally did it, I was finally able to reach every last drop of that secret weapon. The only thing that's kept me alive, I finally reached it, I was able to feel everything."
He started glowing an outrageous gold that lit up the skies and emitted an extreme wind that started blowing her hair back and forcing her to look away.
"But everything comes at a price." He paused. "I gained so much, yet I lost who I was. From that moment on I was no longer the little boy who would fail everyone, the boy who had so much weight on his shoulders."
"I couldn't believe it, but he was right. He pin pointed exactly what I became, I couldn't believe it either. He, the being who cause so much destruction, so much pain and anger, he called ME, a MONSTER." His screams echoed through the city and broke numerous glass windows in the stores below.
He stood up and turned to face Videl revealing what he had become. With sparks of lightning dancing around his figure. He stared deep into her eyes with something that didn't feel like the anger he was speaking of. A single tear slid past his cheek.
Videl took a few steps farther back until she tripped onto her backside, scared of the sight before her eyes.
"You'll never know what it's like to hold back so much anger and hatred. To hold back for so long just to let it go all at once. It's maddening."
"Gohan."
"I let everyone down." He mumbled through the cracks in his voice. Even through the preparations taken for this, there was no holding back, no turning back.
"But, but Gohan. You won. You beat Cell in the end. Everyone on Earth is still alive thanks t-"
"NO! NOT EVERYONE!" Not everyone." He crashed onto the concrete roof onto his hands and knees falling out of his transformed state and back to his natural black.
It had been something Krillin didn't get into much detail about, so it most likely slipped her mind. "Who?" She asked him.
"The only person who believed in me. The only person who thought I could do it." Then it hit her. He mentioned it just minutes ago before his explosion of anger hit. She remembered watching the video and ultimately becoming confused like never before when Cell and Goku had disappeared, just for Cell to return alone. That must have been it.
"Oh, Gohan, I- I'm sorr"
"Don't. Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry." He wiped the tears from his eyes. "He wasn't. He did what he had to do to fix my mistake. And he did it without a second thought, he was, and still is proud of me. It may have been me that was physically fighting Cell, but without my dad, this world would be nothing. And I thank whoever blessed me everyday that he's my father." He eased up since dropping his transformation. He was standing up proudly and the sky cleared out sot here wasn't a cloud in the sky.
"Then why all the anger, and the asshole attitude? And that Knife of yours? Why would you cut yourself if you're thankful? If you think you've shed any light on this situation, you're wrong. I'm even more confused than ever. So stop speaking cryptically and start explaining in clear terms."
He took one look at her as she attempted to push herself up from the floor and looked away. "People handle certain situations differently than others. My mom bottled everything up inside until Goten was born. She acted liked nothing had changed, she stayed strong for me, and I did nothing to repay the act. I let all the sadness and anguish I've felt over the years come out and I took it out on myself."
"It was my fault that my dad is no longer able to see my mom, that he's never met his youngest son, that he's not going to get the chance to see me grow up. It's because of this these reasons why I felt the need to do to myself what I made my father go through without killing myself."
"So you cut yourself out of guilt? That's a pretty lame reason to go all emo and shit. What kind of person cuts themself because of that?" She crossed her arms in a manner similar to Vegeta. She was definitely arrogant and was going to push his every button until he answered properly.
"You have no idea what it's like. You have no idea what it's like to have, such disturbing nightmares, not being able to fall asleep out of the sheer terror that the nightmares will come back. One night after another, every time I would close my eyes and sleep. I would never get a 'good' night of rest. No, I wasn't given even that much. And that's what gave me the hint that I was no good. That there was no place for me. That my only purpose was to inflict pain. And if that was what I was destined to do, then I wouldn't let myself hurt anyone else. I would be the only to suffer for my selfish acts."
"He was now standing at the edge of the roof looking out into the distance as the wind played with his hair. Videl could only stare and wonder what he was going to say next. So far she learned very little. He spoke quite a bit, but it wasn't what she wanted to hear, and it clearly wasn't the point of the story.
'What's he thinking? Is he wondering how to tell me something? Is there more, or is he just going to leave me in the dark here? Come on, what's taking so long?'
She couldn't see the smirk that formed on his lips, but she could hear him chuckling. "And what's so funny now? Are you finally going to tell me EVERYTHING? Or are you going to keep stalling like you always seem to do Son Gohan?"
"Heh, I find humor in odd places. For instance, being able to read your thoughts when you're close enough to hear. It's funny, you should know that by now." His eyes never moved from the nowhere they were staring out into.
"Hmph, jerk. Now continue if you will. You're obviously not done. I want answers, and I want them now!"
"Answers to what? There are things I plan on telling you, and there are things you're not ready to hear. One of the things I need to tell you falls into both of these categories. I really don't know what to do. It wouldn't be fair to keep it from you any longer. Soon enough you'll be feeling just like I have been."
'Hm. I hope she can handle this. It's not fair that I keep it from her. But, what if she can't handle it? NO! I've thought about this enough. She's shown she's tough enough to take what's thrown at her. But, this isn't just anything! FUCK IT! She can prove it to me!' He quickly turned around and stared back into her deep blue eyes. 'Fuck, what's with her? She's like Vegeta. I don't know if I like it or not, but it's reassuring.' One last breathe of fresh air before he exclaimed his new lack of freedom.
"Videl. There's really only one reason why I brought you up here. I had to first explain myself before I came to this point though. I needed for you to understand what I've been through for to fully understand what I've gotten you into."
She raised an eyebrow at this. "What? Gotten me into? What are you talking about. Tell me now."
"Listen to me for a second. I need to get this out." He concocted a new plan as he dug his hands down into his pockets and pulled something out.
"Wh-what are you doing? Why did you just take that out? Get away from me." She started to turn away but was stopped when his Tail wrapped around her leg, stopping her. "Let go of me!"
"NO! You need to here this! I'm not going to hurt you! You need to trust me! There's a point to all of this! You may not understand it, but there's a point to everything I do. You won't get it at first, but I'll explain it to you if you'll care to listen. I'm going to say it no matter what, so it's your choice if you want to hear what I have to say! And believe me when I say this, this will change your life forever."
She slowly turned back around after finding escaping useless. She had only one option, and he wasn't going to let her have another. "Fine. But get on it with it already! I've waited up here long enough Gohan. You're starting to creep me out with all these Disturbing stories of yours, so get on with it. We've missed just about all of last period."
"HA! You're worried about school? I'm talking about your future and you're worried about some pointless class? Whatever." He spun the knife around his finger as it glistened in the sun and shone through his eyes. He took one look back up at the sky and decided how he was going to do it. "I said before, that you won't fully understand the things I do, but you just need to trust me."
"And is there a reason you have that knife of your out and spinning on your fingers like you're some deranged lunatic? Do you still need that thing? I thought you just explained to me how you're past all that crap. NOW PROVE IT!" She yelled at him. She was so abrasive, he didn't know who else to compare her to than his own mother. So strong willed and confident. Something was different about her.
"I DON'T need this! And I will prove it!" He took on last look up at the sky and found his target. It was high up in the sky. It was on grounds that were clean, yet broken. Big, wide, and gray. Yea, that was his target. "HYAH!" He cocked his arm back and with all his might he flung his once prized possession through the skies and past the heavens of Earth. In seconds it was out of sight.
"Wha-where? Where did you throw it? How far did you throw it?" She demanded.
"Hmph. You see that big circle in the sky?" He joked.
"The moon? You threw it at the moon? That's impossible! That's definitely not possible! There's no way you could do that. Once it gets into space, if you even threw it that far, it would drift away off it's path! So there's NO WAY, that you could have just thrown a knife all the way from here to the moon! Now stop lying to me and get back on topic! You were just about to tell me about something that you said would affect my future! Now talk!"
He could tell that she was getting to the end of her line. She was getting almost as angry as he would get at himself at times. That was a whole other discussion. He really had to end this conversation. He was growing tired of her ever growing outbursts.
"Listen, what I'm about to tell you isn't going to be easy. I haven't exactly accepted it either." He gently placed a hand on her neck where two open wounds were. "It has to do with me being able to read your thoughts, to an extent." He paused.
"That night, at Erasa's house. It was a mistake. If I had known. If I was conscious of my own actions then we wouldn't be up here right now." This was getting harder as he got closer to the conclusion. A loud ringing sound was heard coming from the building. One after another students started running out of the school like mad, just happy to out. All but two students took the direct route out. These two took a detour to the roof. They opened the door the roof just enough to see what was going on. They couldn't hear a thing of what was being said. All they saw was Gohan staring down at Videl as he held his hand to her neck.
"Hey what do you think their talking about?"
"You ask me as if I can read lips. Think Erasa. If you can't hear, what makes you think, I can?" The taller blond retorted.
"Oh shut up and just try and listen." If they couldn't hear before, they would be sure to hear now.
"COME ON! TELL ME! WHAT IS THIS! REALLY! WHY ARE THESE BITE MARKS IMPORTANT!" Videl yelled to Gohan who still held a gentle hand on her neck.
He laughed to himself a bit and smirked a small smile. "Vegeta was right. Mates are annoying. I think I'm going to need to get my knife back."
"Mate? Wh-what do you mean Mate! Is that some kind of slang! What does that mean?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's exactly what I just said. That night, I tasted your blood. I don't know if I liked it or not, but I know I can't stand to see you getting hurt anymore. I, I feel this need to protect you. It actually pains me when you feel pain or when you're scared. That's why I had to get you off the police force. It sounds selfish, but I had to do it, you have to understand. It's a bond unli-"
"WHAT! You had me taken off the force because of you're own selfish pleasures? YOU JERK!"
"It's NOT for my own selfish desires! You were in life threatening situations TWICE! TWICE last week. You would have for sure died if I didn't step in. That just proves my point that it's not for my own selfish desires. I was looking out for you. I was protecting you!"
"YEA! Is that so! WHY! Tell me why!" She pushed herself closer to his face, now inches from his, she could feel his breathe on her face as he gulped loudly.
"I, I don't know." He stuttered while revealing a bright red blush on his cheeks. He didn't know what to do, but that tail of his knew as it wrapped itself around her waist and pulled her tighter. It sent shivers down his spine and up his neck and back down his spine again. She was way to close for him to be in any sort of comfort zone.
"I think I know." This time she smirked a devious smile. "It's ok." He raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to know what was going on in that head of hers at the moment. On the other hand, he wanted to know what she was planning on doing, she was so close, he could feel her breathes on his face. He could finally see those deep blue eyes for what they were without the usual scowl mixed in with them. They were soft, and bright. There didn't seem to be an end to how magnificent they were.
He was admiring her eyes for about as long as he could before he was assaulted. "I like you too." The raven haired girl with the deep blue eyes stood up on her tippy toes and perked her lips as she finally got what she's wanted for 3 long years. He was finally hers. The Delivery Boy would forever be linked to her no matter what anyone wanted to say. She was his, and he was her Disturbed Savior.
A/N: IT IS DONE! FINALLY! 41 CHAPTERS AND IT IS FINALLY DONE!
There will be a sequel btw. There are still questions to be answered. Videl still knows nothing of his origins or what he is. And the feelings she has are not mutual. Gohan is simply going to try and make it work. He is simply cooperating to try and be better. That Video of Goku helped, I know, lame. Ending is lame and cliche and typical romance lame ending. But that was the ending I planned to make room for a sequel. I wanted to make room somewhere in that ending for the flying Nimbus and test her Pure of Heart BS. There's only thing I did not get to fit into this story which I have planned ever since I planned Gohan regrowing his tail. THE FUCKING MOON IS STILL THERE WHEN THE STORY ENDS! ! Oh well. He blew it up, there. Happy?
If anyone has ANY Questions at all regarding the story, anything you didn't understand at all, please, feel free to ask.
btw you don't have to sign in to review someone who allows Anon reviews like I do lol. People seem to say that in reviews "mobile wasn't letting me sign in" lol. Mobile lets me sign in every time XD Anyways.
I hope everyone who has read this story, enjoyed every single word read. At times it seemed like I didn't like writing it, but I really loved it. There are characters that played minor roles that I plan on having bigger roles int he sequel. I don't know when said sequel will be out, but I will say that I will work on it when there's time in between A Fight For Trust and Prince Of Orange Star, and life. There is life. I work 5 days a week and I usually write on weekends.
So. There you have it. The final Note for A Disturbed Savior. The final Piece to the puzzle. I hope you all enjoyed it and look forward to my future works, my current works and the future sequel to this story, although it could end here and it would be fine . Well. I bid you all Adieu.