A/N; I am very sorry for the long wait on this chapter. I was really ill last week, and didn't get much writing done. Thank you all for reading, and sharing your thoughts. I very much appreciate it!

Will and Alicia were sharing an oversized lounge chair enjoying the evening air and a few minutes alone together. They were discussing the highlights of the barbecue, and laughing over the result of the water fight between Grace Zach and a few of their friends, against Owen.

"Owen took his drenching from the kids well," Alicia commented.

"Thank you for ending it right before Owen tried to use me as a shield, even if it didn't make the kids too happy."

"No problem. I think the other adults were glad it ended before any of them got wet."

"Yes. Although, at one point it looked like Kurt was giving some thought to loading up one of the water guns himself to help Owen out." They both chuckled.

Veronica and Alicia had managed to remain civil despite their earlier argument. Alicia was somewhat surprised at the attention and care Veronica seemed to give to Zach and Grace. She'd even volunteered to make sure the kids had actually gone to bed twenty minutes after Will had finally ended their fun for the night - an hour after their usual bedtime.

"Mom's been up there with the kids for awhile now," Alicia said, glancing at her watch.

"We should have sent them to bed earlier," Will said. "They'll be awfully grumpy in the morning when they have to get up for school."

"What do you suppose she's doing up there with them? All she had to do was make sure they actually went to bed," Alicia commented.

Will chuckled. "She's probably being deceived by the two people in this house who never seem to get tired."

Alicia laughed relaxing next to him. "One of us should probably go rescue her, but that would involve getting up from here."

"I'm sure she's fine," Will responded, leaning back and closing his eyes. They sat in silence for a few moments before he spoke up again. "I haven't had a chance to tell you that my mom called yesterday. She wants to come out in a few weeks for a visit, and spend some time with the kids. She offered to stay with them if we wanted to go somewhere for our anniversary."

"That was sweet of her. Where would we go?"

"I thought maybe you could come with me to D.C. for the Nelson depos. We can spend three days in D.C. for the case, and visit the Georgetown campus. Maybe being there would spark some memories for you. Then we could spend a few days in Virginia for our anniversary. It would be nice to have some time to spend alone together."

"It's a good idea. But wouldn't that defeat the purpose of spending time with you mother? And I don't want to drop the kids on her for a nearly a week." She glanced up at him.

"We would have some time to spend with her. She'd fly in the Friday before we leave. We'd have the whole weekend with her. And trust me she'd like nothing more than to play her role as Grandmother with the kids for a few days. Grandmothers like to spoil their grandchildren, especially when they don't get to see those grandchildren very often. Don't be surprised if the kids seem sadder to see her go home than they'll be to see us leave."

Alicia giggled as Will leaned in close pressing his lips to her neck just below her ear. She turned to face him. "If you don't think she'd mind. I think I'd like to spend a few days alone with you." Caught up in the moment, she pressed her lips to his. The kiss became more passionate until suddenly the sound of the back door opening caused them to pull apart.

"Don't stop on my account," Veronica said, with an amused smile. "I just came to say goodnight." She sat on the chair next to them.

"Thank you for checking on the kids," Alicia said, grasping Will's hand.

Veronica nodded, as she placed her hand on Alicia's outstretched leg. The sudden show of affection made Alicia tense up a bit.

"Darling, I know you don't want to talk about earlier. And I won't tonight, but I'd like for us to get together this week so that I can explain a few things to you."

Alicia bit her lower lip. "Mom, I don't know what else there is to discuss."

Veronica looked away, suddenly seeming very vulnerable which was a bit of a surprise to Alicia. "I think it's time for you to know the truth about a few things. About some of the reasons I acted the way I did back then." She looked back at Alicia.

Alicia gave some thought to saying no. She was still upset about what had happened earlier in the day. But instead she nodded in agreement. "I'll look at my schedule this week and call you, okay?"

"Okay that's all I ask." She looked as though she wanted to say more. Instead she gave Alicia's leg a little squeeze and stood to leave. "Goodnight," she said.

"Goodnight Veronica," Will responded.

"What do you suppose that was all about?" Alicia asked, after Veronica had gone back into the house. Alicia was puzzled by Veronica's tone and brief show of affection just moments before.

"Maybe she just wants to make things better between you two," Will replied.

"Yeah, maybe," Alicia said, quietly.

They sat in silence once again enjoying their quiet time together. She held his hand in hers and began running her finger over his wedding ring. "Since our anniversary is in a few weeks, why don't you tell me how we typically celebrate." She was curious, and also needed a distraction from thinking about her mother.

A gentle smile crossed his lips. "Typically we try to get away for a long weekend together. On occasion, we've taken as much as a week to go somewhere. It just depends on the year, and our schedules." He ran his thumb over her fingers.

"What did we do for our first anniversary?" she asked, curling up closer to him.

"We went to Cape Cod for a few days, to relax, get away from the city and work. We stayed at this old inn that had been renovated and turned into a resort. It sat right near the oceans edge. It was a much needed break for both of us. We slept, ate good food, got massages, and spent a majority of our time in our private cabana on the beach. Since it was later in September we practically had the place to ourselves." He chuckled. "We did go out sailing one day. Our guide let me have a try at it...I was terrible." He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. "You, however, seemed to have a knack for it."

"It sounds wonderful," she said, closing her eyes trying to imagine it.

"It was," he said quietly, resting his head against hers. "I know there are photos we took that weekend in an album somewhere."

"I've probably seen them, just didn't know what they were."

He closed his eyes and held her there for a few minutes enjoying the silence and thinking about that long weekend. He thought about how they had felt like they were in their own little world while they were there, her walking around in her bathing suit and sarong all weekend, except for the numerous times they'd made love to each other over those four days.

"Are you ready to go in?" she asked, a few minutes later.

"No, wait here. I just had a thought." He stood and entered the house, heading for the basement. He returned a few minutes later with a plastic storage container the size of a file box in his arms. He set it down on the ottoman in front of her.

"I remembered something I think might be helpful for you." He removed the lid so she could see the contents. She lifted one of the books out. "These are the journals you've kept over the years. They probably contain many of your thoughts on different things throughout our relationship, and before. I'm happy to tell you anything you want to know, but this would be your own perspective." He'd put the journal he'd found in her suitcase after the accident in this container all those months ago, partially to prevent it from being a temptation for him.

"I'm surprised," she commented, lifting one of the bound books from the container. "I don't remember having any interest in journaling when I was younger." She began thumbing through the pages of the one she'd pulled out.

"You didn't have any interest in it until you went to France after your freshman year of college. You told me you started writing down the things you'd done there so that you'd be able to remember the places you liked the most when you went back someday. You've kept up the writing on and off since then."

She looked up at him. "And did I ever go back?"

"No. We planned on going a few years ago, but it never materialized. Between work, and the kids, it just wasn't the right time for us to leave the country for two weeks."

She nodded. "I should probably start at the beginning." She noticed the date in the book she held was only ten years prior.

"I agree."

She placed the journal back in the container. "Let's go inside. I'd rather read in there with some better light. She leaned forward cupping his face in her hands. "Thank you for thinking of this," she said, before pressing her lips to his.

Not long after, they were both sitting comfortably in bed. He was flipping through the sports channels, and she was engrossed in reading the first journal. Periodically he'd glance at her when she'd chuckle at something. He was glad she was enjoying her reading. Soon he flipped off the television and placed his hand on her leg.

"Leesh,"

She glanced up at him over the rim of her glasses as he took one of her hands into his. She placed the book in her lap when she saw the concerned look on his face.

"When we moved in together all those years ago, you made me promise I would never read anything you wrote in those journals. And I have kept that promise. But I know that sometimes you wrote on those pages as a way to vent your frustrations with me. I can't imagine that you've always colored me in the best of light at times during our relationship." He smiled. "I am not perfect, and we have had some pretty intense disagreements over the years. Just promise me that as you read through these you'll give me the opportunity to defend myself, or at least offer up more context to the situations."

It wasn't that he was concerned with what had happened between them two, five, or even ten years prior. What really concerned him was what had happened between them before the accident, and that their issues then hadn't really been resolved. It was her accident and the circumstances that occurred after that, that had set aside many of those issues. He'd done his best to forgive her in recent months - successfully he liked to think. But once she knew about those circumstances would she question everything that had gone on between them since the accident? Would she question his motives in rebuilding their relationship if she knew they'd been so close to non-reconciliation? And when she knew the real reason she was out in the snow storm that night, would she blame him for her amnesia? He couldn't blame her if she did, he still felt responsible for it.

She looked at him with a gentle smile filled with compassion. She knew all too well what it was like to be the one who was worried. "You've already warned me that we've had periods of discord. I'm going at this with an open mind. And honestly I'm excited, but a little nervous to read through all of this. It's a little strange to read this, know that I'm the one who had these experiences, but not be able to remember any of them. It's more like reading the autobiography of a complete stranger." She shifted to be closer to him. "I may have asked you to promise me you'd never read what I'd written. And I appreciate the fact that you've always respected those wishes. But I think I'd like to share some of it with you now. We can rediscover some of those moments together."

"I'd like that," he commented.

She put her hand to his cheek and kissed him.

He held her gaze once they pulled apart. "You seem to be doing better than you were earlier today," he said softly. He reached his hand to her face brushing back a few stray strands of her hair.

"I am," she responded quietly, continuing to gaze into his eyes. She gave his hand a little squeeze. "Thank you for being here for me this weekend."

"You're welcome," he replied, softly before leaning in to kiss her again. A few moments later they pulled apart. "We should get some sleep," he said, as he turned out the lights.

"Goodnight Will," she said, curling up under the sheets next to him.

"Goodnight Leesh."

The following weekend Alicia was getting ready to go to Veronica's for their discussion. She felt a great sense of unease about the whole situation, and was admittedly skeptical. She'd thought about what Will had said about Veronica wanting to make things better between them. Alicia was willing to try, but that would involve both of them making some changes. She'd have to let go of some of the resentment and anger she felt towards her mother.

Will came up behind her in the kitchen wrapping his arms around her waist as she finished sending Veronica a message saying she was on her way. She would have liked to have stayed right there in his warm embrace. It was comfortable, familiar – safe. Even better she'd like for him to come with her, but Veronica had specifically asked that Will not come along. Alicia had told her she wouldn't keep any secrets from Will, that it wasn't healthy for any relationship to keep secrets. Veronica had responded by telling her she didn't have any secrets she wanted Alicia to keep from Will. It would just be easier if she could talk with Alicia one on one.

"Take as long as you need," Will said, as Alicia turned in his arms to look at him.

She smiled up at him. "I'll be back before dinner," she replied, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. They pulled apart and her eyes and hands wondered to his chest. She didn't really want to leave.

"It's going to be fine Alicia," he said softy, sensing her hesitation in leaving.

She took in a deep breath, and looked back up at him. "I know. I don't know why I feel so uneasy. She's my mother."

"Yes, but you two are in a difficult place right now. And you both have some tough issues to work through." He leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "I was thinking it might be fun to watch a movie together tonight," he said, looking back into her eyes.

"Yeah, that sounds great." She smiled as she pulled away from him feeling a little less nervous.

"Good, then it's a date," he said, with a grin.

She laughed lightly. "It's a date. I'll see you later." She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

"Leesh," he called after her.

She turned and looked at him.

"I love you."

She smiled and nodded. "I know, thank you," she responded gently.

When she arrived at Veronica's she set her purse down on the coffee table while Veronica went to grab some drinks from the kitchen. She returned with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Mom, it's too early to start drinking."

"I know, but you've just got to try this. I brought it back from Bordeaux. It's some of the best wine you'll ever taste." She sat next to Alicia, and poured each of them a glass.

Alicia didn't argue. After reading through her journal during the week about her trip to France, she was eager to try some French wine. "How was your trip with Bill? Was it as good as you were hoping?" She took of sip of the wine.

"Oh yes darling. It was wonderful. We started out in the French Riviera." Veronica continued to talk about her trip for a few minutes.

Once Veronica had finished, the two women sat in uncomfortable silence. Clearly both she and her mother were avoiding the real reason for Alicia's visit.

Alicia set her wine glass down, and cleared her throat. "Mom, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Veronica put her glass down. The same look of vulnerability Alicia had seen in her the night of the barbeque crossed her features again. Veronica moved her hand to Alicia's knee, and looked up at her.

"Alicia, your father was a good man. One of the best I've ever known - and I've known a lot of men." Alicia rolled her eyes. "I know that you blame me for the divorce. And I'm not going to sit here and tell you it wasn't partially my fault. But there were some things…about me…that your father struggled with. Things he decided he didn't want to deal with." She stood up and began to walk around the room. Alicia was surprised at her nervousness.

Veronica continued. "When I went away to college…a lifetime ago…I started experiencing mood swings. Everyone has mood swings, but this was different. I'd have weeks where I needed hardly any sleep, and felt like I was at the top of the world, like I was indestructible."

She turned back to look at Alicia. "You can only do that for so long before your body needs sleep. So I'd sleep for nearly two days straight after that sometimes. It didn't affect my school work, in fact it was helpful. I could study, and still have as much of a social life as I wanted. Other's just thought I was driven, which is one of the things that made your father fall in love with me. He liked the energy I put into my classes, but he also liked my outgoing personality, and the fact that I wasn't afraid to try new things. It took him a long time to convince me to only date him because I enjoyed going out with a different man every weekend. But eventually I decided I liked being with your father more than any other man. We married. We were happy. You and Owen came along, and we were still happy."

"So what happened?" Alicia asked. "Did you cheat on him? Decide you still needed more than one man in your life?"

"No darling," she moved back to Alicia. "I never cheated on your father. My episodes of highs and lows got more intense as the years went on. It drove your father crazy sometimes. Do you remember when you were seven and I got you out of bed one summer morning so you and I could go to Florida?"

Alicia searched her memory for a few moments. "You mean the trip where we stayed at that spa?"

"Yes. You were really too young to be there."

Alicia chuckled. "Yeah, I was so upset. I wasn't allowed to use the adult only pools."

"Yes, but we had a wonderful time on the beach that week."

"It was a good trip. What's your point?"

"I did that very…spur of the moment. I made arrangements for someone to watch Owen during the week while your father was at work. Booked our flights, and made our reservations, all within forty-eight hours before we left."

"You hadn't planned it out in advance?" Alicia was surprised. "You told me that trip was a reward for doing so well in school that year."

"I know. I lied, and your father wasn't very happy about the trip."

"Well I can see why." Alicia reached for her wine again.

"Things got worse after that. I'd have weeks where I was full of energy and did really well at work. And then there were other weeks where I could barely pull myself out of bed. I did pull myself out of bed because I couldn't afford to lose my job. Eventually I asked my physician about it. After running some tests he told me I had bipolar disorder."

Alicia was familiar with the symptoms of bipolar disorder. She had recently been involved in a case dealing with a client with this type of mental health issue and she'd done some research on it. Hearing this news from her mother caused her to look back on those memories from her childhood and she began to realize that Veronica had acted similar to someone who might have the disorder.

"So did you get treated for it? From what I've read it can be managed pretty well with medication, and therapy."

"I was put on some medication in the beginning. But depression wasn't viewed in the same way as it is now. Back then people thought that depression was something that could be controlled by the mind, and that all you had to do was think positively, push through it, and it would be cured." She made a point of looking into Alicia's eyes. "Your father was one of those people. He didn't understand it. He tried, but he just couldn't ever get over the idea that it was an actual illness. That I couldn't just use the strong mind he'd always felt I'd had to get over it."

"But couldn't he see that the medication made a difference?"

"Yes, but I wasn't always on medication, and when I wasn't I sometimes turned to alcohol, which didn't help. By the time you were twelve I think your father was tired of dealing with it," she sighed. "I couldn't really blame him."

"So you both just gave up?" Alicia questioned, in a disappointed tone.

"We didn't give up for awhile. We both tried to make things work. I went back on the medication and stayed on it. Things got better between us. But they didn't remain that way. It took awhile to find the right medication and dosage, and I had some pretty bad bouts of manic episodes. And one of the side effects of some of the medications was a lack of sexual interest and drive, which was difficult for both your father and I. Eventually it seemed like we argued over everything. Your father still struggled with the idea that I couldn't just think my way out of the depression. Eventually we decided we'd both be better off apart, and we were. We got along much better once we weren't living with each other."

"I don't remember any of this," Alicia admitted, shaking her head. Thinking it was the amnesia that was causing the gaps in her memory.

"You wouldn't. Your father and I did our best to keep you and Owen away from it. We were trying to protect both of you."

"Protect us? Don't you think it would have better if we had known some of this?" Alicia got up from the couch and moved to the window.

"Maybe, but we thought we were doing what was best for you."

Alicia let out her breath, continuing to stare out the window. She didn't know what to say with the mix of emotions that were running through her. Clearly she couldn't place all the blame for her parent's divorce on her mother anymore. And the high pedestal she'd placed her father on seemed to be dropping a bit. Maybe they hadn't been able to work things out between them, but what about the effect the divorce had on she and Owen? A small part of her felt like their decision had been a selfish one, but she wasn't fourteen anymore. Even if she didn't remember much beyond that point in her past, she'd been in a mature adult relationship with Will for six months, and realized that thinking her parent's decision had been selfish, was probably wrong.

Veronica stood next to her now staring out the window. "Alicia, I'm sorry. I know I wasn't there for you when you needed me all the time, but I was embarrassed. I thought it would be better to hide my mood swings by being the eccentric mother."

Alicia couldn't help but chuckle. "Well you were definitely that."

"Yes. And your friends didn't seem to mind."

Alicia turned and looked at her. "No they didn't. You let us get away with a lot more at slumber parties than any of the other moms."

They stood in silence for a few minutes. "How's the depression now?" Alicia finally asked. "Is that why you're constantly taking these trips, dating a new man every few months?"

"Oh it's fine now. I've been taking medication for so long I rarely experience symptoms anymore. As for the trips and the men, I like being with men. Dating at my age is harder than it looks, so when a man shows some interest I take advantage of it. I like to travel. I get restless staying in one place for very long. I'm sorry if my traveling has made you think I don't care."

Alicia nodded, and they remained silent for a few more moments. "Mom, I don't need you to start coming over two times a week. But it would be nice if I wasn't always the one who called. And it would also be nice if when I called you actually answered the phone, or called back on the same day. What if something happened to you when you were on one of your trips? We'd never know anything was wrong until a week later. I will try to be more understanding of your behavior. But I need you to put a little more into our relationship if you want things to be better between us."

"I do Alicia."

"Okay, then we'll both do our best to change a few things."

They talked awhile longer. Alicia finally had a chance to look around at some of the photos, and other trinkets Veronica had around the apartment.

"I need to get back home," Alicia said, some time later. She reached for her purse on the coffee table.

"Okay,"

"Thanks for the wine," Alicia said, as she stood and started for the door.

"Alicia,"

She turned back around to look at Veronica again.

"Don't ever take Will for granted. Don't underestimate how much he loves you. He and I may not agree on everything. I was worried sick after Kate died and your depression got so bad. I thought Will would end up being like your father, that he'd get tired of dealing with it and leave you. I was pretty hard on him during that time. But he dealt with my antics, and took much better care of you than anyone else could have - even your own mother. He's never given up on you. Don't forget what a blessing that is."

Alicia smiled and nodded. "I won't mom."

When she got home she found Will in their bedroom freshly showered, pulling on a clean shirt. He'd spent a portion of the afternoon clearing out some of the flower beds in preparation for the winter months ahead.

After leaving Veronica's, all Alicia had wanted was to be near Will again. And to feel the sense of stability and love he provided for her.

"Hey, how did it go?" he asked, as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in for a tight hug. This worried him some, maybe things hadn't gone well. It wasn't like her to embrace him like this out of nowhere. A year ago yes, but not in recent months. His concerns were eased when she responded.

"Good. I have a lot to tell you." She continued to hold onto him, her head resting against his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked, running his hand soothingly over her back.

"Yes, I'm just glad to be home." She looked up at him and smiled before leaning in for a kiss.

Later that night after the kids had gone to bed, Will was getting the movie set up. Alicia went into the kitchen to get the surprise she'd brought home for him.

He was on the couch with a blanket over his legs when she returned. She handed him the bowl of popcorn and a small brown box.

"What's this?" he asked, noticing the name, Floriole Bakery, etched on the top of the box.

"Just a little something I picked up for you on my way home tonight." She smiled as she climbed under the blanket next to him.

He opened the box, taking in its contents. "I love these!" he said, placing the box in his lap.

She chuckled at the excitement a large, gooey cinnamon roll had brought on. "I know," she responded, taking the bowl of popcorn from him.

He looked over at her with loving eyes. "Thank you." He leaned closer and kissed her cheek. "Do you want to share it with me?"

"No. Thank you. I think I'll stick with the popcorn tonight."

After the movie they remained on the couch snuggled comfortably together in the dark.

"Good movie," she said.

"It was a good night," he replied, resting his head against hers. She was enjoying the warmth of being held in his arms, and soft sound of his breath near her ear.

"Will"

"Hmm," he responded softly.

She squeezed his hand tightly. "Thank you for never giving up on me. You'll never know how much that means to me." She looked up at him as a tear escaped her eye. Her feelings for him seemed to be growing stronger and stronger with every passing day. And now she shuttered to think what her life might be like if he hadn't been the one there when she'd woken up in the hospital all those months ago.

His hand moved to her face, and he gently brushed away the tear with his thumb. "I'll never give up on you," he replied in a whisper, before pressing his warm lips to hers.