A big time jump was needed, so here we are six months later. Enjoy :)
Chapter 25: The Path That Led Us Here
Tris POV
Eric and I have come so far these past six months. Therapy with Johanna has given us both an outlet and an understanding neutral third party for us to work through our inner demons. Our marriage is so strong, and he is truly my best friend. Working together and living together can put a strain on the best of relationships, but not ours. Eric and I gravitate to each other in every situation, both professional and personal, and we have a solid separation of work and home. We spend the majority of our time together, but we still constantly crave each other. Johanna has told us several times that she's never seen anyone more in love than Eric and I are with each other, and we both agree with her.
The added stress of Eric's promotion to head leader worried me at first, but he's a born leader and an absolute natural. He has the respect of not only our entire faction, leadership team and the government officials we work with, but also a deep respect and admiration from Max. It was only a matter of weeks before Max felt comfortable enough to move into a part time schedule, and recently he's fully retired, even though he's a frequent visitor to our offices.
I look at myself in the mirror, silently wondering if my husband is going to like my impromptu makeover. I've been in Dauntless for years now, and married for almost two, and in that time I've barely made any changes to my appearance. I've been contemplating some changes for a few months now, and today I took the plunge, first getting a long overdue haircut. Eric loves my long hair, so I made sure I kept some length to it, but instead of it skimming my hips it's now a few inches below my shoulders, and it's definitely a change. My honey blonde hair now has platinum blonde, bright red, black and brown highlights, plus layers that finally free the natural waves I had no idea existed. The weight of my thick hair always kept it relatively straight, so seeing the bouncy waves was a huge surprise. Every time I turn my head I can see the different colors all through my hair, and I have to admit that I love it.
Although Eric and I have our wedding band tattoos and the matching tattoos we got in memory of our son, we've never planned any other tattoos together. Eric and I rarely get each other any material gifts, we typically celebrate occasions and successes in other ways, both physically and mentally intimate. One evening, of the blue, I saw one of my ravens tattooed on his chest above his heart. It was a complete surprise, and better than any gift he could have bought me. When he explained the meaning of his maze tattoos to me, I had an idea, and luckily Bud and Tori helped me with it. Eric's mazes are never ending, he had them done in stages - starting with his first week in Dauntless and added to them in stages of his life up through his move into full leadership. They were his way of showing the twists and turns along his path to happiness. They abruptly stopped when the Jeanine situation started, and he admitted that he had a hard time getting back to where he wanted to be. Bud designed Eric's mazes, and when I explained to both he and Tori that I wanted them continued and finished on my body they went all out. I now have the continuation of his maze along both sides of my rib cage, traveling below each breast and coming together and ending in the center of my chest, representing my heart. Getting these tattoos was painful, and it should have been a multiple session job, but in order to surprise Eric I had to have it all done in one day when I knew he'd be out of the compound. So, as soon as he left this morning Christina and I headed straight to the tattoo shop and Bud and Tori worked on each side simultaneously while Chris and little Ava kept me entertained and distracted as much as possible.
The last change was a small black diamond in my nose, along with small gauges in each ear. Christina thinks I'm insane going through so many painful changes in one day, but I needed them. I finally feel like myself.
"He's going to love it." Christina says from behind me. "Seriously, you look amazing, and the tattoo thing was brilliant."
"You don't think it's too much?" I ask, meeting her eyes in the reflection of my mirror.
"It's a lot to get done in one day, but it's everything you wanted. You look beautiful." She smiles.
"So do you!" I reply. Christina had no plans for anything more than a quick trim of her shoulder length hair, but she was inspired today as well. She got a matching nose piercing, a tattoo of Will's name, and she had her tattoo of little Ava's handprint touched up as well. She also had her hair dyed a bold dark purple, which stands out against her mocha complection. She looks beautiful.
"I hope Will likes it." She smiles at her reflection.
"How could he not?" I ask, grinning back at her.
"Do you want to get some dinner once they get back?" She asks and I quickly agree.
We watch as Ava coos from her spot on my floor, laying on a thick blanket and grabbing at the myriad of toys we laid out for her. She's such a good baby, quiet, playful and curious. She started sleeping through the night within her first month at home, and she's literally a perfect baby. Poor Shauna has had her hands full with little Zachariah. He's colicky, and he went through a tough time with Shauna's breast milk and needed to be switched to a special formula to help with the stomach issues that plagued him. This put Shauna into a postpardum depression that's been hard for her to shake, and she hasn't wanted much to do with any of us as a result. Zeke has been wonderful with their son, and a patient and loving husband to his wife, and with his gentle pushes Shauna agreed to start therapy. Her first appointment was this morning and we're all hopeful that this will help her find her happiness again.
The text alert beeps on my phone and I reach up to grab it.
E: On our way home, have you had dinner?
T: Nope, waiting for you.
E: Meet you in the apartment in an hour?
T: Sounds perfect. Love you.
E: Love you more.
T: Impossible.
"What's got you all smiley?" Christina asks me with a quick grin of her own.
"My incredibly sexy husband is on his way home." I smirk.
"This means my incredibly sexy husband is also on his way home." She replies and we both laugh.
"Did you ever dream it'd be like this? Married, kids, domestic life?" I ask.
"Hell yes!" She grins. "I started making plans the first month we were here."
"Seriously? A month in?" I ask as Ava crawls into my lap where I'm sitting on the floor with my back against the couch.
"Yeah, only some differences though. I knew I'd marry Will one day, and that we'd have a family of our own. I did think I'd want a huge wedding, but it turns out I didn't. I had this fantasy of having a double wedding with you and Four, and how Will and Four would becomes besties like us." She laughs. "Imagine my surprise when you went and married the biggest asshole in Dauntless."
"I did it just to ruin your double wedding plans." I chuckle.
"I seriously thought you were going to marry Four. The only two Abnegation transfers in forever. It was like this whole storybook romance thing." She says. "Oh, this is an awkward conversation huh?"
"A little bit." I chuckle.
"So, from the time you met Eric, was it just a gradual thing, or did it just hit you one day?" She asks.
"Well, you were there when I met him, and first impression for me was that he was freaking hot. I mean, those tattoos, the piercings, those eyes. Then he opened his mouth and jackass flowed out." I laugh.
"God, yes. He was such a prick all through initiation." She sighs.
"You know, there were little things he did that in hindsight made me realize he had some sort of feelings for me. Even if it was just a tiny crush." I reply.
"Like what?" She asks.
"Well, he totally busted me the night I went to Erudite to visit Caleb. He could have kicked me out on the spot for being a faction traitor, but he didn't, even after Four's lame excuse." I reply.
"Holy shit, you never told me he caught you!" She exclaims.
"He was waiting for me right inside the entrance. Jeanine called him I guess."
"Wow, yeah had that been anyone else he would have escorted them out personally." She replies.
"Don't forget after the fight with Peter he wanted me out, and I defied him by showing up on the train."
"Who could forget that, you practically had him speechless." She smirks. "Did he ever tell you why he tried to kick you out?"
"To protect me from Jeanine. He thought she'd leave me alone if I became factionless. It's a lot easier to find someone within the factions. Once you become factionless the paper trail on you disappears." I reply.
"He would have just let you go?" She asks.
"He would have come with me." I reply quietly. "He and I had this conversation over a bottle of whiskey in his apartment one night after work. We were drunk, and it's the first time Eric even hinted about how he felt about me."
"When was this?" She asks with her eyes widened in shock.
"Maybe two or three months before we got married."
"What? Ok spill." She says, angling her body towards me.
"Four and I got into a huge fight one night, it was ugly, bad enough that I was ready to leave him. He left the apartment to cool off, which now I know was code for him fucking Abby, anyway I went to Eric's apartment. By then, he and I had become really close and I just needed to vent. We drank, a lot, and it loosened our tongues. I had asked him about why he tried to kick me out of Dauntless many times prior to that night and he'd always refused to answer. I asked him after we finished the bottle and he finally answered. He told me that he knew I was divergent and he wanted to protect me. When I asked him how he thought throwing me out on my own, basically to the unknown, would have protected me he flat out told me if at any point I had become factionless he would have come with me. I asked him why and he told me I meant too much to him to ever let me go."
"Tris, you mean to tell me you actually did know he had feelings for you?" She asks.
"I knew he was conflicted. When I tried to talk to him about that conversation the next day he got angry with me. Eric was hot and cold with me, any time he got too close he'd find a way to push me away. The only time he was open with his real feelings for me was when he'd been drinking, and the night we got married was no exception at first. The morning after was what completely changed us, he finally let his walls down and came clean about his feelings for me, and now here we are. I'm happily married to who you call the biggest asshole in Dauntless." I laugh.
"I always could tell you two wanted each other." She smiles. "She's totally asleep on your shoulder right now." She says in a lower voice, gesturing to her daughter.
I glance down and sure enough Ava is asleep, her little mouth slightly open and her chubby hands still fisting my shirt where she was trying to hug me.
"Want me to take her?" Chris whispers and I shake my head no. "You're really good with her, you know?" She smiles.
"Thanks. She's an amazing baby. I hope I have one just like her." I whisper back as I rub small circles on little Ava's back.
"Have you given any thought to trying again?" She asks gingerly, trying to gauge my reaction. "I'm sorry Tris, I shouldn't be so nosy."
"No, it's fine. Seriously. I had the implant removed about six months ago. We decided to stop trying to not get pregnant and just see what happens." I smile.
"Oh, that's great!" She grins.
"Yes, it is. There's no pressure, we just decided to let it happen when it's meant to happen. I will admit, there's been disappointment each time I've gotten my period, but I know it's going to happen. Besides, practice makes perfect." I laugh.
"You two are like machines." She smiles and shakes her head. "I never thought the little Abnegation girl would be such a freak!"
"I'm not a freak! We just have a healthy sex life. Well, maybe also a little adventurous."
"Tris, you two fuck every day, multiple times a day, anywhere the mood strikes you. That is the definition of a freak Miss Thang!" Chris replies with a smirk.
"Like you and Will don't get it on as much as possible?" I smirk back at her and she laughs.
"Well maybe we do, but still not as much as you two."
"Like I said, practice makes perfect. Besides, now that I'm off birth control I actually get a period every freaking month and that sucks because we can't have sex." I groan.
"See, you're an addict." She throws a stuffed unicorn at me and I smile. My mind begins to wander a bit, thinking about my husband and the way his hands are usually all over me. Dammit, focus. I pick up my phone to see if he's texted again and he hasn't, but it's then that I notice the date.
"Fuck." I whisper. Chris looks at me with concern.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
"I just noticed today's date. I'm over a week late." I reply. Her smile grows like the Cheshire Cat.
"We need to go get a test!" She squeals, making Ava squirm in my arms.
"I actually have some here...I mean with trying to not try and all..." I smile. She immediately picks Ava up and lays her in her stroller, strapping her in and tucking her blanket around her. She wheels her towards my bathroom.
"Come on woman!" She whisper yells and I scramble up off the floor. She parks the stroller in the hallway and I grab a box from under the sink and read the test instructions. Chris grabs the box from me. "Pee on it and look for the results, it's not rocket science. Drop them pants!" She says and gestures me towards the toilet.
"I can't pee while you're watching!" I exclaim in a loud whisper. She turns around but doesn't leave the room. I shake my head and take the test, cleaning myself up as I lay it on the sink.
Chris is bouncing on her feet and staring at the stick.
"I can't sit here and watch it. We have three minutes, let's get out of the bathroom for it at least." I say and we walk back towards the living room, she wheels Ava around in her stroller while I pace. "Chris, say something, distract me!"
"How many times are you going to have sex tonight?" She asks and I groan.
"Seriously, you're still talking about my sex life?" I ask.
"Yes, because I have to drag details out of you. If you were a normal bestie, you'd be grossing me out with details every time we talked."
"You mean like you do to me?" I retort. "I'm still recovering from the last time we talked about you and Will. Do you know how hard it was to sit next to him in our staff meeting the next day?" I ask.
"Whatever! Don't be jealous that my husband is a freaking god with his tongue." She replies.
"I'm not jealous at all, because my husband has the most incredible and talented tongue ever." I reply and Chris stops walking. "Ugh! How do you always do that?"
"It's not easy, but I like a challenge. So Eric has a talented tongue?" She smirks and I huff at her.
"Yes, our sex life is fucking amazing, hence why we can barely keep our hands off of each other." I reply and watch as she breaks into a huge smile.
"What's the freakiest thing you've ever done?" She asks. I can feel the blush crawling up my neck and she grins. "I'll go first if you want." She quirks an eyebrow up at me. "This is your out, take it now and I won't answer it." She pauses and I hold her gaze. "Ok, the freakiest thing Will and I have done is anal."
My eyes just about pop out of my head and I can feel my mouth drop open. "Seriously?" I ask.
"Seriously." She smiles, unashamed.
"Did you like it?" I ask shyly.
"I actually did, enough that it's happened multiple times. You've never tried it?" She asks, cocking her head to the side. "Come on Tris, it's just us here...it'll never leave the room, I promise."
"Well, no. I mean, he does other stuff there..." I stutter, not sure how we even got on this topic.
"Fingers? Toys?" She presses.
"Chris! No toys." I reply.
"Oooo fingers! It's good right? So just imagine his..."
"Chris, nope! That's enough!" I shake my head, embarrassed.
"Nothing to be embarrassed about Tris. Lots of couples do it. Be willing to explore." She grins.
I sigh. "Doesn't it hurt? I mean Eric, he's...well...he's..."
"Big? Large? Hung like a horse? I could totally see that, I mean he's tall and broad and muscular." She grins.
"You're totally talking about my husband's package right now." I groan.
"Am I right though?" She smirks and I smile. "Ok, so without grossing you out, believe me when I say that Will is also very blessed. Just have him be gentle, and use lube, and have fun. Seriously."
"I seriously can't believe we're talking about this." I reply. I can feel the heat of embarrassment on my cheeks.
"It kept you distracted though, didn't it?" She smiles as I huff, checks on her daughter and then starts walking towards the bathroom. "Hurry up or I'm peeking."
I scramble back to the bathroom and stop at the doorway. "Chris, I can't look at it." I say, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes.
"Oh honey. Do you want me to look?" She asks and I nod. She hugs me and then walks into the bathroom. I turn away and stare at the wall. Chris says nothing at all and the curiosity is killing me, so I turn around. Her normally animated face is stoic.
"Shit. Ok, well this isn't the first time I've had a negative test. It's just the first time I've been late on top of it. It's ok, the doctor said my periods may be a little off cycle because of being on birth control. Thank you for checking, and for being here, and for talking about anal sex to distract me..." I chuckle.
Chris interrupts my rambling and turns the test towards my face.
"Positive? Oh my god. I need to take another one." I say, frantically checking the cupboard for another test, which I find towards the back. I take out two tests. "Oh my god, I don't need to pee."
Chris giggles and turns the water on, filling the glass we keep next to the sink. "Bottoms up." She says as I down the small glass. We repeat this process several times, while continuing our sex talks and giggling like kids. Finally, after awhile I feel the urge. I quickly drop my pants and work on the tests while Chris laughs.
"Not so shy anymore, huh?" She smiles.
"Go check on your daughter!" I shoo her away so I can clean up and I leave the tests on the sink and walk out of the bathroom. I take a seat on the couch and watch as Chris changes Ava's diaper.
"This could be you." She says in a sing song voice as she cleans up her messy diaper. I wrinkle my nose.
"This isn't a good selling point." I reply as I grab the smelly diaper and quickly wrap it in a plastic bag so we can dispose of it on our way to dinner. She giggles as she gets the fresh diaper on her daughter and I join her laughing. Even Ava giggles at us as she kicks her legs and tries to roll away from her mother.
The front door opens and Eric, Will and Four bound in. We look at their faces and giggle louder.
"Oh my god, what is that smell?" Four asks loudly, while holding his nose. Will laughs as he comes to grab his daughter off the couch.
"That would be this sweet girl, she can clear a room." Will says as he peppers kisses on Ava's chubby cheeks. "Chris, you look amazing honey, I love your hair and this cute little nose ring." He kisses the tip of her nose and then her lips.
"Hello gorgeous. I love your hair. So damn sexy." Eric says as he growls in my ear and kisses my neck. "You got gauges." He remarks as he kisses my ear.
"We're still here Coulter." Four calls out as he plops on the couch.
"I don't care Eaton." Eric replies as he looks me over. "And the nose? Baby I'm not going to make it back to the cafeteria." He nuzzles my neck and begins to run his fingers through my hair.
"See what I mean?" Chris laughs. "Freaks."
I stick my tongue out at her as Eric chuckles. He gives me a quick kiss before heading down the hall. I watch as he closes the bathroom door.
"Fuck!" I say, looking at Chris. She crinkles her eyebrows and then realization hits her.
"Tris?" Eric calls peeking out of the bathroom.
"You two are not fucking in the bathroom. Nope." Four laughs. "Food, hungry, now."
"You guys can head down if you want, we'll meet you there." I say and Four starts cracking up.
"You're seriously kicking us out to have sex. Damn, I give you credit." He smirks.
"Let's give them some privacy." Chris says with a smile, as she and Will gather Ava's things. "We'll see you soon." She says, giving me a quick hug before everyone leaves.
I turn towards the hall way and see Eric standing there, holding the three tests in his hand.
"Tris? Is this...? I mean, you took these right?" He asks.
"What are the results? I haven't checked the last two yet." I reply. He smiles at me and closes the distance between us.
"We're having a baby." He says, showing me the three positive tests with shaking hands.
"Yes we are." I smile at him and he grabs me and twirls me around, squeezing me hard.
"Ouch!" I exclaim and he quickly puts me down.
"Did I hurt you? What's wrong?" He immediately lifts my shirt to look at my belly and he notices the bandages up each side. "Tris, what happened?"
"Well, today is just full of surprises." I say with a chuckle. "So, the hair and piercings were planned, the pregnancy tests, not so much." I smile, taking off my shirt. "But this is my gift to you."
"Baby, what happened?" His face is so concerned that it's almost adorable, if he wasn't so worried.
I take my bra off and I hear him take a deep breath in. "Take them off." I say to him, placing his hands on the bandages. "Go on."
He starts gently peeling the bandage away and as soon as he catches his first glimpse his breath hitches. He keeps peeling until the full tattoo is exposed.
I take his arms and put them against me so he can see the seamless continuation of his tattoo onto my body. He looks at me in awe as his eyes trace the pattern on each side and he finally sees where the ending is.
"Your heart." He whispers. "Tris, this is amazing. No one has ever done anything like this for me."
"You really like it?" I ask shyly.
"Baby, the word like will never cover how I feel about this. You have no idea what this means to me." He says, his voice breaks on the last few words and when I look up there are tears in his eyes. "I'm overwhelmed. We're having a baby. And this, you completed me. You get me, babe, you understand me. You've seen me through all my struggles and you know exactly where my path ends. It's with you. Your heart. You gave that to me, you trust me with it. You are the most amazing woman I've ever known, I just cannot believe you're mine."
He brings his lips to mine and captures them in a sweet, but passionate kiss.
"I could never love anyone or anything the way I love you right now Tris. You're carrying our baby." He kisses my stomach, right below my belly button. "You just have no idea how much you mean to me. These tattoos, God Tris, I just can't even." He rests his forehead against my stomach in an attempt to gather his thoughts.
"I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. You've completed me as well. This life that we have is more than I ever dreamed of when I made the choice to come to Dauntless. I'm so proud of you Eric, you've accomplished everything you've set out to do." I reply. "I'm so happy with you. I'm proud to be your wife, and I love the life we have made together."
He slowly stands up and looks at me. "You are so beautiful." He kisses me gently as he skims his hands down to my breasts and grazes over my nipples. My stomach makes a loud gurgle and we both break out in laughter.
"I think someone's hungry. We can continue this later." He says as he nips my neck. He helps me put my bra and shirt back on before we leave our apartment hand in hand.
"I take it Chris knows?" He asks and I nod.
"Yes, but I wouldn't normally tell her before telling you. It was a shock, she and I were talking as usual and I noticed today's date and started freaking out because I was a week late. She dragged me into the bathroom and three tests later here we are."
"Think she can keep a secret?" He asks with a smile.
"Hell no." I laugh. "We might as well fess up."
"Good, because I'm going to have a hard time not shouting this from the fucking roof." He says and he pulls me in for a deep kiss right outside the cafeteria doors. We hear whistles and catcalls and he smiles against my lips. "Tomorrow, you're calling Dr. Morgan, correct?" He asks.
"Yes. First thing." I reply.
"I'm going to be here for every minute of this Tris." He looks down at me with the most sincere look on his face I've ever seen.
"I know you will." I kiss him chastely before dragging him into the cafeteria.
We find our friends and are pleasantly surprised to see our entire little group sitting together. I quickly walk over to Shauna and give her a hug, which she warmly reciprocates. I glance over at Zeke, who's holding little Zach in one arm while awkwardly trying to eat with the other.
"Can I?" I ask and he smiles as he hands his son over.
"Nice of you to finally join us." Uriah says with a toothy grin. "Four told us you had some bathroom activities that prevented you from being down here on time." We watch as Marlene playfully smacks him.
"So, how'd that go?" Chris asks with a knowing smile.
"Extremely positive." I answer and I can tell she's holding everything in trying not to explode with joy.
"You make the rest of us look bad Coulter." Four shakes his head and Rayne laughs from beside him.
"Well, you're really going to be looking bad when you find out that our bathroom activities were fully clothed." Eric smirks. Four raises an eyebrow. "I happened to find three pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter, my beautiful wife is carrying our child."
Chris squeals and we receive congratulations from all of our friends.
"I haven't been to a doctor yet, I just happened to realize I was late while talking with Chris earlier, so I took several tests and voila. We wanted you all to know though, we are too excited to hold it in." I reply, as I easily eat with one hand while holding baby Zach in my other arm.
We continue our easy conversation, then as we're ready to leave Marlene pulls me aside.
"I'm heading to work now, do you want an ultrasound?" She asks with a smile. I look back at Eric and he's nodding enthusiastically.
We follow Marlene to the infirmary, where she hands me a gown and closes the door to give us some privacy. I quickly get changed and hop on the table, Eric lingering right beside me.
"You ready?" Marlene asks and we gesture her in. She rolls the ultrasound machine next to the table and opens my gown.
"Oh wow Tris, those tattoos are amazing!" She exclaims. "They look like Eric's."
Eric puts his arms next to where my tattoos start and Marlene quickly gets the visual. "That's just beautiful." She says in a soft voice.
"The mazes were my journey in Dauntless, but the last time I'd had anything done with them was the day I made full leadership. The shit with Jeanine kind of threw me for a loop, and I never came back to finish them. Tris did it perfectly." Eric says.
"You two were seriously made for each other. Really." Marlene smiles sweetly. She squeezes some jelly on my stomach and places the wand on my stomach and starts looking around. "There's your baby." She says, pointing at the tiny bean shape on the screen while she presses some buttons to print out a picture.
"That's our baby." Eric whispers from his spot next to me, he caresses my face and kisses my temple.
"Doctor Morgan will be better, but my best guess is you're about four weeks pregnant right now." She says as she wipes my stomach off. "I'm going to go check his schedule now, any preference for an appointment?"
"As soon as possible." Eric replies for me. "Marlene, can you check her blood pressure too?" He asks and Marlene quickly nods as she attaches a cuff to me and presses some buttons on a machine.
"101/63. It's great." Marlene smiles and I hear a sigh of relief from Eric.
She leaves the room and I start to get dressed. Eric jumps up and quickly helps me. I chuckle a bit when he clips my bra.
"You're usually taking it off." I say and he presses a quick kiss in between my shoulder blades before I pull my shirt on.
"I will be later." He says in his low seductive voice that makes my panties practically jump off my body. I softly kiss his lips, but he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and it makes me pull him against me. We spring apart as the door opens.
"Tomorrow morning at 10:00." Marlene says. "Now get out of here and celebrate." She casts us a knowing look as we head out. I stop to give her a hug and to thank her.
As soon as we get home Eric starts peeling my clothes off as he moves me towards the bed. Once we've undressed each other, he hovers over me, kissing me fully as he gently pushes into me. He leans back and I see him looking down at our tattoos, the look on his face is indescribable as I watch his eyes trace the paths from his arms to my body. I sit up on my elbows and look as well, completely in awe of how our tattoos and bodies are now connected seamlessly. We make love long into the night, and fall asleep curled around each other's bodies.