…..
TWO WEEKS LATER
Adam's POV
After retying my tie twice already, I'm still not satisfied. I undo it and start again. Okay Adam, pull it over, then under, then over again, through the loop, and slowly pull tight. It comes out looking a little funny at the top, again!
"Mom!" I shout down the stairs. I don't have time to fuss with this stupid tie, Drew, Dallas, and I have to pick up the girls in a half an hour.
"What?" She asks, coming to my room.
"Can you do something about this?" I ask, pointing to my tie, "it's not cooperating."
"Honey, it looks great. You're very handsome," she says reassuringly.
I turn back to the mirror, "Maybe I should go with the red one," I say in reply. I grab it off the dresser in front of me.
"Honey, the blue looks great. It brings out your eyes," she says, grabbing my suit jacket off the bed and bringing it over to me. "Here, put this on," she says handing it to me.
I take one more look in the mirror. I guess this tie will have to do. I take the jacket from my mom and slide it on, fastening only one button.
"I guess I'm ready then," I say.
"You look wonderful," she says, "You have grown into quite the young man," she says getting sentimental.
"Thanks mom," I say.
"Before you leave, don't forget to grab Bianca's corsage," she reminds me.
"Okay I won't," I say. We head for the door and down the stairs where Drew and Dallas are waiting.
"Finally," Drew teases.
"Don't you all look so handsome," my mom says, "I have to get a photo." She pulls a camera out of nowhere and lines us up in front of the door.
"Do we have to?" I complain.
"Smile," she says, taking a few pictures. I think she would make us pose all night if she could.
"Mom we have to go, the limos here," I say, getting her to stop.
"Right," she say setting down the camera, "Well have fun, be safe," she says, hugging each of us before we go.
Finally Dallas, Drew, and I make it out the door and into the limo.
"This is going to be a good night," Dallas proclaims.
"Absolutely," Drew agrees.
"Let's toast to that," I say, grabbing the vodka we snuck, via a flask, and pouring it into three shot glasses. I pass one to Dallas and one to Drew, "Here's to the best night ever," I say. We down the shots in one gulp.
…..
Bianca's POV
It is a little hectic at the Coyne household, or apartment more specifically. Five girls trying to get ready with only two bathrooms to do it. Fiona, Imogen, and I are sharing her master bathroom mirror, but even though this bathroom is huge, it suddenly doesn't feel big enough to hold all this make-up.
"Where's my mascara?" Imogen asks.
"I just saw it," I say, quickly looking around, "Here it is," I say handing it to here.
"Thanks," she says.
"Sweetie, a little more elbow room would be nice," Fiona says to Imogen.
"Tough luck," she says, not moving an inch as she applies her mascara.
"I'm just about done," I say, applying my red lipstick. I rub my lips together, dab them on a tissue, and call it good. I smile in the mirror to check for anything on my teeth. All clear.
"Wait, aren't you going to curl my hair?" Fiona asks.
"Of course, let me turn on the curling iron," I say, grabbing it from the drawer and plugging it in. "It should only take a minute or so to heat up," I inform her.
"So, who all is sleeping over tonight after the dance?" Fiona asks.
"I am," Imogen says, grinning.
"Well obviously," Fiona says, giggling. "But who else?"
"I think Adam and I are," I say. Last I checked he told his mom he would be at Eli's so he was clear for the night.
"Duh, the guest room has practically become your guys room," Fiona jokes.
Since my mom kicked me out for seeing Adam, Fiona has nicely been letting me stay with her. And since I've been staying with Fiona, Adam has been over here a lot after school, resulting in a few sleepovers.
The little light for the curling iron goes on, signaling it's hot enough, "Curling iron is ready, sit down," I tell Fiona. She takes a seat on the edge of the bath tub as I start to curl her hair.
"Who do you think will win King and Queen at the dance?" I muse.
"Or Queen and Queen," Imogen interjects.
"I'd vote for you," I say.
"Maybe you and Adam," Fiona suggests. That'd be something. Adam and I, him wearing a crown and me a tiara, dancing with everyone watching.
There's a distant doorbell noise that's muffled by the music we have playing in the bathroom.
"I'll get it," Imogen offers.
Knowing that it's the guys, I quickly finish Fiona's hair.
…..
Adam's POV
Imogen is the one who greets us at the door, "Wow you guys look great," she compliments.
"Yeah you too Imogen," I say in return. It's no casual reply either, she really does look great in her shimmery sliver dress with her bouncy, curly hair. It's weird, I don't think I've ever seen her without glasses but she looks great.
"Come on in," she says, opening the door wider so we can all walk in.
"Everyone still getting ready?" I ask, since the living room and kitchen seem to be empty.
"Yes, not everyone can be as speedy and efficient as me," she jokes.
"Well we better get going soon, the dance started already," Drew says, emphasizing his watch.
"Patience is a virtue," Dallas replies. He takes a seat on the couch so Drew and I follow his lead. Besides, we don't exactly know how long this will take.
"I'll go check on the girls," Imogen says, disappearing into Fiona's room.
After a few more minutes, Imogen comes back with Fiona.
"You look great Fi," I say.
"Stand up," she orders us, not replying to my compliment. We do what she says.
Imogen speaks loudly, "First up, the wonderful, smart, and sassy Ali Bhandari." Ali comes walking out of the guest bedroom in a floor length, purple dress.
"Wow," Dallas says, "You look fantastic."
"You're not so bad yourself," she replies.
Fiona talks next, "Next up, the sporty, cute, and ambitious Katie Matlin." Katie walks out of the same door as Ali in a blue dress. She looks good if I do say so myself.
"You look beautiful," Drew says, pinning the corsage on her.
"Why thank you," she replies.
Imogen introduces the one I've been waiting for, "And finally ladies and gentlemen, last but not least, the magnificent, stunning, and gorgeous Bianca DeSousa."
I don't know if it's just me or what, but I swear the second she walked out of that door time slowed almost to a near stop, as if I could keep this moment forever. My heartbeat instantly increased, wanting to burst of my chest. Everyone in the room disappeared except for her. It feels like an angel is gliding toward me. She's all I could notice, all I cared about, all I could see.
I hear Bianca's voice, "Adam," she says, snapping me out of my daze. I quickly blink a few times and register that Bianca's standing right in front of me.
"You… I mean… You uh… Wow," I say, not being able to put together a single coherent thought.
"You clean up nice yourself," she replies.
"Adam you might want to close your mouth before you drool," Drew jokes. I swiftly close my gaping mouth. Everyone laughs but I hardly notice, only being able to see and hear Bianca.
"I uh… this… you," I say holding up the corsage, still not able to speak. I went with a white rose because I figured it would go well with whatever dress she chose.
"Thank you," she says. I manage to get the flower out of the box and pin it on her dress without accidently sticking her.
"Once Adam finishes stroking out, are we ready to go?" Drew asks.
"Yeah I think so," Fiona says. Everyone starts to head toward the door with Bianca and me trailing.
"You know, if I knew all I had to do was put on a red dress to get you all goo-goo over me, I would have done it ages ago," she teases, nudging me.
I finally form my first coherent thought, "You look absolutely amazing."
"Don't I always?" She jokes.
"Yes," I reply genuinely.
…..
Bianca's POV
The dance looks magical as we walk into it. I know it's just the school gym with a few decorations, dimmed lights, and music, but for some reason it's the perfect setting.
"Want to get pictures?" Adam asks as we pass the photographer.
"Sure," I say. He takes my hand and leads us to the line. Luckily it's not too long.
"Fiona did a great job with the decorations," Adam notes.
"Yeah I was just thinking how great the place looks," I say.
"Have I told you how great you look?" He asks, grinning.
"Only twice in the limo and once at the loft," I remind him.
"I haven't? Well let me tell you, you look so good in that dress that I don't even know if I'm going to want to take it off of you later," he says.
"Who says you're getting that lucky?" I tease.
"You're the one who invited me to spend the night," he reminds me.
"Oh yeah," I say, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "And I can't wait to take that suit off of you," I whisper in his ear.
"Do we even really need to be at this dance?" he jokes, "We can leave now."
"No, Whisper Hug still has to perform," I remind him.
"They don't need me," he insists.
"Really? I think you're the best part," I say. "Plus, you look really hot when you strum your guitar," I tell him.
"Do I? Well in that case we can stay for one song."
The line finally progresses and we reach the front. The photographer poses us in front of this dark backdrop. My hand is resting on Adam's chest, his arm is around me, and we smile at the camera. Next pose Adam puts both his arms around me as I lean my head back against him. The final pose, although it was supposed to be serious, is one of Adam picking me up wedding style as we make silly faces at the camera.
He sets me down and we head over to the screen where we get to see our photos.
Eventually we show up on the monitor. "I love blue on you," I say, complimenting his tie, "it brings out your eyes."
"So I've been told," he says, smirking.
"I am definitely getting a copy of all of these photos," I say.
He looks at the pictures and then glances down at me, his eyes looking sincere, "Wherever we are next year, you in college, me here, wherever life takes us, we'll always have this," he says.
Adam and I rarely talk about the future. I mean in reality we really just got started. We haven't talked about long distance dating, I don't even know if he believes in that, but when it's real it's real, and with Adam it is definitely real. I don't know what struggles we'll encounter after the summer ends and I go to college, but we can handle it. Adam and I are strong enough to handle anything.
I clarify, "We'll always have each other." He looks unsure but I don't question him on it.
…..
Adam's POV
Time flies when you're having fun. The night has gone by so fast, I already danced with Bianca, played with Whisper Hug, danced with Bianca some more, and voted for Imogen and Fiona for Queen and Queen, which they ended up winning.
I slip away from Bianca, "I'm going to get some drinks," I tell her.
"Okay," she says.
I know the last dance is going to be soon so I want to request a song for Bianca and I. Luckily I have an in with the DJ because I befriended him at battle of the bands.
"Hey can you play Chances by Five for Fighting for the last song?" I ask the DJ.
"For you, why not," he says.
I find my way back to Bianca, "Want to dance?" I ask her, extending her a hand.
"What happened to drinks?" She asks as she takes my hand anyway.
"No time," I say.
Just as we reach the dance floor the DJ speaks into the microphone, "Last dance everyone, last dance of the evening. So find your special someone and bring them to the dance floor."
"You have perfect timing," Bianca says.
"Guess so," I say, placing my hands on her waist as her hands snake around my neck and we start to sway to the music.
"I love this song," Bianca whispers, as the lyrics start.
Chances are when said and done
Who'll be the lucky ones who make it all the way?
Though you say I could be your answer
Nothing lasts forever no matter how it feels today
Chances are we'll find a new equation
Chances roll away from me
Chances are all they hope to be
"I want to remember this forever," I say. Whether or not we last forever, she'll always be my first love. And I'll carry her with me forever.
"I'll always be here to remind you of this," she says. I don't know how she can be so confident in us when there's still so much left unknown. Next week is unknown let alone next year and the year after that.
She lifts her head from my shoulder and meets my eyes, "What are you thinking about?" She interrupts my thoughts.
Don't get me wrong I'd never say never
'Cause though love can change the weather
No act of God can pull me away from you
I'm just a realistic man, a bottle filled with shells and sand
Afraid to love beyond what I can lose when it comes to you
And though I see us through, yeah
"How are you so confident we'll make it?" I ask. It's a stupid question because there's no real answer. There's nothing she could say that could guarantee a happily ever after.
Bianca doesn't answer immediately, rather places her head gently against my chest.
Chances are we'll find two destinations
Chances roll away from me
Still chances are more than expectations
The possibilities over me
It's a fight with two to one, lay your money on the sun
Until you crash what have you done? Is there a better bet than love?
What you are is what you breathe, you gotta cry before you sing
Finally she lifts her head and looks at me again, "I can't be sure of anything Adam. I can't promise you forever. I can't guarantee this will work. I can't make forever happen this instant. All I can do is tell you how I feel about you every step of the way."
Chances, chances
Chances lost are hope's torn up pages
Maybe this time
I ponder that and reply, "And how do you feel now?" I ask.
Chances are we'll be the combination
Chances come and carry me
Chances are waiting to be taken, and I can see
"I feel," she hesitates only for a moment, "Like I love you, I've been in love with you, and I will always be in love with you."
Wow did she really just say that? I mean, she's never said it before let alone said it like that.
Chances are the fascinations
Chances won't escape from me
Chances are only what we make them and all I need
"Adam?" She says, waiting for my reply as the song comes to an end.
She has this amazing ability to completely halt my brain from processing, so instead of talking, I lean in and kiss her.
…..
Bianca's POV
When Adam pulls away he finally whispers what I have been dying to hear, "I love you too Bianca."
"Really?" I ask. I believe him but I just want to hear it again.
"Yes, I am in love with you. I am head over heels crazy for you. You are the last thought before I fall asleep and the first thought when I wake up. I mean, you're everything to me. You're the air I breathe and the ground I walk on. You're the-"
This time I cut him off with a kiss. Everything he is saying feels too good to be true.
"Wow," he says as I pull away.
I look at him funny because he's yet to open his eyes after the kiss, "Adam?"
"I don't want to open my eyes in case this is all just a dream," he replies.
"I promise you it's not," I say kissing him again. This time when I pull away I find his gaze meeting mine.
…..
Adam's POV
When we get back to Fiona's loft, that's when the real fun begins. Fiona has music blaring throughout the loft, she's made some mixed drinks for everyone, and they taste strong, and she has some cool strobe lights going off in the living room.
Drew and Katie are still dancing away. Ali and Dallas are hitting the alcohol maybe a little too hard. Imogen and Fiona are cutely in their own world, slow dancing to the fast paced music. And Bianca and I have somehow ended up on the couch, her on my lap, and we're making out like crazy.
She has run her fingers through my hair too many times to count, effectively ruining the way I gelled it. I don't care though, the wilder I look the better. And fortunately for this position, my hands have been free to roam all over her body. I manage to forget we're in front of everyone.
"Get a room," Dallas shouts from the kitchen where he's drinking with Ali, bringing me back to reality.
I slightly pull back from Bianca, long enough for each of us to take a breath, "To be continued?" I ask.
"Absolutely," she says.
After a while everyone is tired out from dancing so Fiona turns off the music and turns the normal lights back on. The clock only says its 2:03am, way too early to go to sleep, so everyone agrees to stay up and watch a movie.
"I'm going to change first," Fiona says, before putting in the movie.
"Me too," Imogen agrees.
"Don't take too long you too," I tease. Once they leave the room I joke, "Well I don't know if we'll see them again tonight."
"Heard that," Fiona calls from the bedroom and everyone laughs.
"I think changing is a good idea," Ali says, heading toward the other guest bedroom, the one that isn't the Bianca and I have claimed as our own.
"Okay," Dallas says, following behind her.
"I mean alone," she laughs, stopping him with her hand. Katie follows as well.
Bianca looks at me, "I think I'll need help getting out of this dress."
"I can help with that," I say as I follow her to the room, shutting the door behind us.
When she turns around to face me she laughs, "I did quite a number on you."
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Come on," she says, taking me to the bathroom.
I look in the mirror, "Yikes," I say. My hair is pointing in all different directions and I have Bianca's lipstick on and around my mouth.
"You fix this," she says gesturing to my face, "While I get changed."
"Wait, but I thought I got to help you get out of that dress," I pout.
She looks at me, pondering for a second, before turning around and orders, "Unzip me."
I do so wordlessly and the dress falls to the floor, leaving Bianca in a matching red bra and panties, "Very color coordinated," I observe.
I move her hair out the way and start to kiss her neck from behind. My hands wrap around her, resting against her toned stomach. I hear her breathing starting to pick up. She quickly turns around in my arms and starts to kiss me. It feels heated and passionate, her tongue finding its way to mine, and her hands pulling me closer against her.
I start to walk her back toward the bed but she finds the willpower to stop me, "Wait."
"Why?" I ask.
"If we start this, we won't be able to stop," she answers.
"So?"
"So, people still expect to see us tonight. That means," she says unwrapping my arms from her and taking a small step back, "that you need to get cleaned up and I need to change."
"Fine," I say reluctantly agreeing, "To be continued?" I ask.
She laughs, "Of course." She leaves the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
I quickly hop in the shower to wash off. I towel off and slip on my boxers and wife beater. When I exit the bathroom into the room I see clothes set on the bed and no Bianca. I slip on the sweatshirt she laid out for me as well as the shorts. Even when she's not here to dress me, she still manages to dress me.
I walk out into the room where everybody is already watching the movie. I spot Bianca on the couch and take the seat next to her. Her head instantly rests against my shoulder. I glance around and notice Fiona and Imogen never returned. I guess I was right. However, I do see Dallas and Ali on a chair next to the couch and Drew and Katie snuggled up on the floor in front of the TV. Who would have ever guessed this is where I would be in this moment? Never in a million years would I have pictured this. Maybe in my dreams, but definitely not in my reality.
I turn my head to look down at Bianca. She looks perfect. Whether she's in a stunning red dress or a sweatshirt and sweats, she looks beautiful. I love her so much. I lean down and press my lips against the top of her head gently before turning my attention back to the movie.
…..
Bianca's POV
Finally we make our goodbyes and retire to the bedroom. As Adam shuts the door behind us I can't help but feel slightly nervous. I don't know why. Adam and I have slept in this bed plenty of times but this time it feels different.
There's an undercurrent of anticipation in the room. Adam is looking at me like he's never looked at me before. He has desire and lust wrapped up in his eyes. Although we've never specifically talked about, I have a feeling tonight might be the night. I don't care if its cliché if we do it after a school dance. Nothing else about Adam and I is cliché.
He's still looking at me as he closes the gap between us. I can feel the heat radiating off his body. Usually I would close the gap and kiss him, but I feel frozen in place. I love Adam, I love him so much, but there's still so much we've yet to discover about one another. I don't know his comfort level or what he feels secure with, what if this ends badly? What if I do something wrong? I don't want to ruin this perfect night.
Get out of your head Bianca. Come on, it's Adam, you're always comfortable around him. There's nothing to be nervous about. Just let what happens happen.
"You okay?" He asks, knocking me out of my train of thought.
I look up at him, "Of course," I say unconvincingly.
He takes my hands in his, slowly thawing my frozen body, "What's bothering you?"
"Just a lot on my mind," I say with a nervous chuckle.
"Well what can I do to take your mind off of whatever's bothering you?" He asks sincerely, lifting one of my hands and softly kissing the back of it.
"I just need a second, okay?" I say, pulling away and escaping into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. I'm glad I didn't turn around because I'm sure Adam's expression was one of shock and confusion. I hope he doesn't feel rejected.
I walk to the sink and splash some water in my face, then towel off the water. I look at myself in the mirror to regain some composure.
"You can do this Bianca. You want to do this. Just relax. Take a deep breath," I say to myself.
There's a knock at the door, "Bianca, are you okay?"
"I'll be right out," I reply to Adam.
Alright get out there before Adam starts to panic.
I open the door to the bathroom, expecting to see Adam hovering there, but instead I see him sitting on the edge of the bed.
I walk over to him, "Hey," I say softly, lifting his head to meet my gaze.
"Hey," he replies, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"I just needed a moment," I say, trying to reassure him that it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.
"Okay," he replies quietly. I don't know how he's feeling right now. "I'm going to get a glass of water," he says, abruptly standing up and excusing himself from the room.
Oh god what did I just do? Think fast Bianca, how can you salvage this? How can you make him feel better?
…..
Adam's POV
I don't know what's going on with her. Did something go wrong tonight? Did I do something? I thought everything was perfect tonight. She just seems really off or something. I don't know what I did.
I head to the kitchen, grab a glass out of the cupboard, and pour some water from the pitcher in the fridge. Maybe if I give her some space she can figure things out.
I sit there in the kitchen for a minute, sipping my water. At least this will help me avoid a hangover tomorrow. After a couple more minutes I decide its best if I go back to the room so Bianca can tell me whatever it is I did wrong.
I rinse the cup, put it in the dish drainer, and head back to the bedroom.
When I open the door I find that all the lights are off and Bianca is in bed. Okay so she doesn't want to talk it out. She just wants to forget about it or avoid it with sleep. Great.
I quietly get undressed, slip on a comfy t-shirt and boxers, and pull back the sheets to climb in.
"Wow," I say completely surprised. There doesn't have to be a lot of light, but there's enough to see that my girlfriend is completely naked in bed.
She doesn't say anything, she doesn't cover up, she just waits for my reaction.
"Bianca DeSousa, are you trying to seduce me?" I half joke, but a part of me is very serious.
"Is it working?" She asks.
"Yes," I say grinning. My smile only lasts a second though. Is this why she was nervous earlier? Did she think we were going to have sex tonight? I mean, I love her, and I want to be with her, but I don't think I can do this right now. Not when I'm in a body that doesn't fit who I am. Reacting to my thoughts, I pull the sheets back to cover her.
"I don't think I can do this," I say.
"What?" She asks, confused.
"I mean, don't get me wrong, you look incredibly sexy," I say. I sit down on the bed next to her and she scoots up, holding the sheets to cover her.
"I love you Bianca and I want this to happen, eventually. But not yet, not like this," I say, hoping she'll get the point.
After a second I hear her sigh in relief, "Phew."
Now it's my turn to be confused, "What? Why so relieved? I mean I'm glad you're taking this well but I thought this was what you wanted."
"And I thought it was what you wanted," Bianca says, finding my hand on the bed next to her and holding it. "To be honest, I didn't feel ready either."
I let out a small chuckle, "We're in no rush Bee. There's no reason to rush when we're looking at forever."
"Oh so now you're a believer in forever?" She teases.
"When it comes to you, I would believe in anything," I reply.
"Come on," she pats the spot next to her, "let's go to sleep," she says.
I slide under the sheets and next to her. My hands instinctively go to her waist and they find skin. Wow she feels so soft and perfect. She turns to face me and I have to remind myself not to stare at her breasts. She starts to kiss me which takes me a bit by surprise. My hand goes to her face, as I gently cup it, brushing my thumb over her cheek. I feel one of her hands finding its way to the back of my neck and the other hand on my back, pulling me closer. She unexpectedly bites my bottom lip, sending a jolt through my body. I part my lips and instantly feel her tongue against mine. She is completely in control of me and I love it. Her hand that was on my back is now sliding down to the hem of my shirt, tugging gently. My hand leaves her face and starts to trace its way down her body, not grabbing at anything, purely exploring the new skin. She lets out a soft moan and I take this moment of control to leave her mouth and kiss down to her neck. She shifts her head, giving me better access. I gently suck and nibble at her neck, firmly determined to leave my mark. She starts to pull off my shirt and I break away long enough for her to get it over my head, leaving me in my wife beater. Only a second passes before I manage to return to my work on her neck.
I am starting to think our waiting idea is foolish. I am totally ready to go all in.
Suddenly, she pulls away, sliding on my shirt over her naked body.
I can't help but pout, "What happened?" I ask totally confused and flustered.
She giggles, "There was no way you were going to let me get out of bed to grab pajamas so I had to steal yours." She laughs more when she sees that my astonished face. That whole thing, just a ploy to get my shirt. She's smart, I'll give her that.
"You are evil," I say, placing my arm over her and pulling her closer against me.
"You love me anyway," she says.
I lean in to give her one more kiss before saying, "That I do."
.
.
.
.
.
The End
A/N: Talk about little wait time! I cranked this baby out in just a couple of hours just to make up for the long wait last time. Well dear readers, that's the end of Mixed Feelings. I feel good about it. I think this last chapter is my favorite. If there is a sequel it probably won't be written for at least a month. However, if anyone has good suggestions for the sequel, I am all ears. Maybe it should take place a year from now when Bianca is in college and Adam is still in high school. Maybe even farther ahead when Adam has had his surgeries. IDK. You tell me. Thanks for everyone who read this story, especially the loyal reviewers who helped with ideas as well as giving me confidence to finish the story. I am proud to say it was my first. As always, reviews are much appreciated.