And you can't escape that I'm in your dreams like you swim in mine,
And you'll live your whole life dreaming your dreams will be free of me,
But the truth is, it's pointless.
(Pointless Forever-Armor for Sleep) Love the song :D (Some songs really help you write!)
Fred stood there in the cold December night air, transfixed, his feet rooted to the ground. His heart forgot how to beat, his lungs forgot how to breathe, his muscles forgot how to move..
His brain forgot how to think.
Maybe it was some horrendous dream.
But the chilly air whipping through his hair felt real enough, the unbearable, stabbing ache now slowly replacing his still, shell-shocked heart felt real enough..
The sight in front of him seemed real enough.
He felt shaky...he felt like he was dying...
Maybe he was having a heart-attack, because it was paining like anything.
He clutched his chest with a hand instinctively, and, maybe because he thought he would die of sheer pain if he watched the sight before him any longer, he broke into a sprint...
And ran like a madman...
Far, far away...
Far away from that painful, sickening sight...
Without any sense of where he was running to..
Because he was running blindly..
Blinded by the tears swimming in his eyes, blinded by the rage slowly replacing his shock, blinded by the utter pain he was suffering.
He reached some dark, stone-walled, dank passageway. He was sprinting like an accomplished runner, his legs carrying him with paranormal speed lent by the sheer strength his muscles received due to his tremendous fury.
He was now dashing up a narrow, murky spiral stairs, which spiralled on and on upward endlessly..
And he was flying up the stairs, his feet were barely touching the ground now, because he was climbing at a shocking, superhuman speed. And he wasn't breathing at all...
Sheer rage fuelled him, gave him energy..
Then, he found himself standing on a landing, with a couple of small steps leading to a tiny, open door, which opened into a vast, circular, stone-floored area with the gaping, starry heavens as its ceiling, and stone wall reaching just up to one's neck circling it, with at least four dozens of telescopes perching on the walls.
He stepped out the tiny door onto the stone floor, and started gasping hard.
For at least ten minutes, he stood panting, clutching his chest.
No..
It cant be..
Maybe he hallucinated..
His Georgie..
"M-my G-G-Georgie.." he whimpered, trembling.
The vision of George kissing the girl passionately, pressing them both against the wall, flashed across his mind.
"AAAAAARRGGHH!" he bent double and pulled his hair viciously with both his hands.
George was his, and only his. No fucking cunt in this whole world will have him..
"NO ONE!" he roared, pulling his hair still more violently.
He was so damn filled with rage that his wand vibrated in the inner pocket of his dress robes with the power of angry magic radiating from him.
He whipped out his shaking wand, gripping it in his tightly clenched fist, his knuckles white as bones, while he gnashed his teeth in anger..
"AAAAAAAAARRRGGHHH!" he simply gave a rough flick and a dazzling red light with an instantly conjured pane of glass burst forth his wand, which shattered deafeningly on the stone floor.
"AAAAARRGGH! AAAAARRRGGGH! AAAAAAARGGGH!" he gave flick upon angry flick and mirrors and glasses shattered all around him.
He was conjuring things with the speed of light in his rage, shattering them all around him. He continued on with this until he was gasping hard, and then slumped down his tense shoulders.
George kissing a girl with a passion Fred never received from him.
Why, he was so shy around him..
Fred let out a derisive snort.
So shy around him, so fucking like an angel..
He was poisoning him with his sweet poison..
Maybe it was all a charade from him because he cannot fucking sleep without Fred..he cannot sleep without clinging like a bur on to Fred..
He needed Fred when he had his fucking nightmares.
Maybe that is why.
Yeah, it made sense, it all made sense..
"IT ALL MAKES FUCKING SENSE!"
It made sense why he did not want to get fucked.
Maybe it repulsed him. Maybe it repulsed him to have Fred's cock in his arse.
It repulsed him, because this was all a charade.
If he loved him, wouldn't he love it when Fred would slip in through his sweet entrance, and fill him with his love?
But he did not love him the way he did. He was his fucking twin brother, yeah.
Ha! The way he just fucking said that day that he fell for him hard when he cried like a child.
He simply said that to make you sleep beside him, so that he could squeeze you tight when he sees you dying in his dreams.
He dreams, doesn't he? He fucking dreams about him because he cares for him, right?
Then why, my love, why did you try cheating on me? Why, baby, why? I love you so much, darling..
"WHY?! WHY?!" Fred crumpled down on the cold, hard floor, crying loudly, wailing...pitifully..
"W-W-WHY?" tears were streaming down his face in torrents while he held his head in his hands, and curled up into a ball on the cold floor, shaking uncontrollably as he moaned.
I love you, baby..
"I l-love y-y-you so m-much, th-then w-why?" he whimpered in between loud sobs.
George kissing the girl frantically while his beautiful hands were lost in her hair..
"NOOOOOOO! AAAAAARRRGGHH!" he squeezed his eyes shut tight, as though it would make the image vanish, but it replayed cruelly in his mind.
His heart ached so painfully that it was better to die than live with this unbearable stabbing sensation as though dozens of knives were slicing through his heart, ripping it to shreds.
His true love did not love him back the way he loved him.
Did not feel the obsession he had for him...the mania, the thirst..the pure, unbounded love for him which filled his soul.
His love liked girls...
And he stood like an obnoxious bloody obstruction in his life, obstructing him from mingling with anyone other than him...binding him forcibly to him..
"B-but I l-love y-you, G-Georgie..."
But you are nothing but a nuisance for him. You infest his mind and make him dream about you, you taint his body by touching and caressing it while he is dying inside..because it revolts him, repulses him..because you are his FUCKING TWIN...
Has it ever occurred to you the way he rarely initiates a kiss...
Its you who always jump on him, mesmerized by his beauty...
"B-but G-Georgie..I..ahh..b-baby..I l-love y-you.."
Why don't you just die..you worthless piece of shit..die, rather than forcing your useless body on your own twin, who silently suffers your dirty advances on him..
His hand weakly reached out to grasp his wand lying on the floor beside him.
His life was meaningless..
Die, brother-fucker, die...
He clutched his wand in his trembling hand, while tears flowed down his cheeks without any restraint..
And, lying curled on the cold floor, he pointed his wand at himself, and whimpered..
"Av-avad-"
But his wand shook slightly, trying to squirm away from his hand.
"Avada K-ked-"
His wand trembled and spat angry red sparks, trying violently to shoot away from his hand.
"Avada Kedav-"
But his wand ripped itself away from his hand, and flew across the air and fell down with a clatter at least ten feet away from him, refusing to kill its master.
...I knew I fell hard for you when you cried this morning, baby...
...Feddie, you won stop playing wimme...
...I could say the same about you...
George's body pressed hard against a girl, pressing them both against the wall.
"AAAAAARRRRGGHH!" Fred got up from the floor, a resolute idea forming in his mind.
...Uhn..Freddie..I..s-stroke me...
...ahhh..Freddie..I l-love y-you..aaah! Fred!...
Empty, meaningless words.
The stone walls with the telescopes perching on its top looked strangely inviting, and he was walking toward it..
...Baby, you don't know how it feels like when I watch you d-die in my dreams, you don't know a thing...
George kissing the girl desperately..
...You're still beautiful...
George giving him roses...
George humming lullaby for him...
...n-not now, we'll make love, b-but n-not now...
George kissing him desperately in the first-aid tent..
George kissing the girl desperately..
He was standing with his body pressed to the stone wall, and gazing down from the highest tower of Hogwarts. He could see the tops of trees swaying way below him, snow covered white land at least a two hundred feet below him. The ground was beckoning him to fall into its cold embrace.
His life was meaningless when his true love did not love him back with the same fiery intensity he had for him. His life was worthless when he forced his body and his heart onto his own twin, who was simply pretending to love him to make him content, to satisfy his filthy love, his disgusting thirst for him...
...what the fuck was that, Fred...
...Freddie, I'm so sorry to cause you this pain..I can't stand to see you in pain...
...You're my brother...
...this is forbidden, unthinkable...proscribed...
...you're my world, Freddie..my world revolves around you..
..ahh, Freddie..I l-love y-you..aaah! Fred!...
He placed his palms on the wall, and gripped the edge of the wall, supporting his weight by his arms, and tried heaving himself up.
The times spent with his Georgie were enchanting, magical...
Times spent since the second his soul was created..
They were meant to be together, because they were together right from the start..
...NO! PLEASE NOT FRED! KILL ME! KILL ME!...
...hn..I need f-faster...
...what the fuck was that, Fred...
But they were together from the start because they were twins. And twins aren't meant to be together.
His love for him wasn't a horrendous sin..it wasn't, because he loved him with his whole heart..
But what does it matter now, sin or salvation or whatever..
It doesn't matter anymore..
Not from this moment..
He pulled up his limb, half-perching on the wall. He could see the ground below him welcoming him with its cold arms open wide..
He looked above him. The starry heavens gazed at him benignly. He felt dizzy, and swayed precariously. He felt a giddy euphoria. He was going to die. It would do everyone good. His twin won't have to bear in silence his dishonourable, filthy, dirty approaches anymore..he wont be tied to him..
Fred would fade away. It won't always be fucking 'Fred and George' from now on. Fucking 'Fred' attached with George. George could be his own person. There would be no fucking Fred to restrain him from his wishes.
Fred has to die.
He pulled up his other limb. His mind was content, happy, even.
He gazed longingly at the ground below him. The ground gazed back at him with the same desire.
Fred was going to die.
"FREDDIIEEEEE!"
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