*Twilight still does not belong to me. And unless a whole bunch of legal stuff and lucky stuff happens, I will never a have the right.*

Chapter 25

Esme was always cooking for me. I don't know why, though. The scent of human food should repulse her, discourage her from even going near the stuff. Besides, I was almost the only one who ever ate the stuff. Nessie had sort of adjusted to some human foods, mostly brain foods like tomatos and tea, she only liked seventeen human foods total, not counting her love for blood. Even though she denied it, she had a secret sweet tooth for chocolate. Which brought Esme to bake german chocolate cake which Nessie ate only out of "guilt" every once and awhile.

I picked at the frosting-coated buttery slice I had on my plate, trying not to offend Esme. Even though I hadn't eaten in six hours, and had skipped lunch, I wasn't hungry. I never was when I was stressed. Everyone had their ways of coping, not the positive ways, like building something or writing a song, but their naughty ways, the ones that would bite you in the ass later on. Over eating, under eating, cutting, drinking, smoking drugs or cigarettes, and um...other stuff I'd prefer not to mention. Mine was starving myself. Leah's was drinking. And now that Jacob banned her drinking, I was worried-the word worried didn't cover it-about what methods she was trying now.

Scared, I could feel the unpleasant emotions stirring around inside of me as I popped a bite-size piece of cake in my mouth. But as Jasper walked into the room, sucking them away with each step. I gave him a brief nod in thanks, which was followed by a small, sad smile.

When I was finished with my micro piece of cake, I strolled over to the kitchen and placed it into the dish washer.

"No way, Emmett," I refused him.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

Once again, Emmett was trying to sweet talk his way into making me do something that would corrupt my youthful innocence. He wanted me to try doing something I would of never thought of doing myself: prank calling someone I really shouldn't be prank calling. Who? Nahuel, the other half-vampire kid. It wasn't as badass as last week's challenge, walking into the women's bathroom as a crossdresser. It wasn't the crossdressing part that bothered me, it was the fact that he made me wear pink pigtails.

"No Emmett! I don't prank call people, besides, what am I going to say?"

But Emmett wasn't listening, nothing got through his thick head. He was already dialing the chump's number. Thankfully, Edward heard his thoughts and flitted into the room.

"Emmettt, I don't think that's a good idea."

He rolled his eyes and put the phone on speaker.

"Hola?" Nahuel answered, unaware that he was yet another victum of Emmett's wonderful pranks.

"Say something," Emmett whispered.

"No," I fought back.

"Hola?" Nahuel repeated.

"I'll introduce you to Ciara next month."

"Make it Paramore and we have a deal." Emmett cursed under his breath but nodded. I held my nose to give myself a funny accent.

"Both, if it's perverted."

"Ako ay pagtawag ang tungkol sa iyong pagtitistis dibdib pagbabawas." I tried my best, unsucessfully, to keep a straight face.

Emmett chuckled almost breaking into a fit of laughter. Edward just made a disapproving sound. Breast reduction surgeries (and boobs in general) always made Emmett giggle like the little third grader he was inside.

"Ako accidently ginawa sa kaliwang dibdib ng isang Acup, habang ang iba pang ay isang D tasa. Mangyaring bumalik."

"Wait, is that Filpipino?" Nahuel asked, not understanding what sort of hilarious comments I was making about him in the language.

Nahuel didn't know he was being prank called. In fact, most immortals weren't up to date with the styles, fashions, and catch phrases. I heard Rosalie say "that's boss" just the other day.

"Oh, at maaring gawin ito mabilis. I am pagpunta sa bilangguan para sa mga singil na pang-gugulo sa lalong madaling panahon at nais upang ayusin ang mga operasyon sa lalong madaling panahon," I smirked.

At this point, even Edward cracked a smile. Bella walked into the room, clueless of the "breast reduction" call.

"Bye asno!"

Emmett was laughing so hard that he banged on the table. The table made a cracking noise, and Emmett backed off.

Bella wrinkled her nose. "What were you guys saying?"

"Um...we er..." I was trying to justify my perverted streak.

"It's nothing dear. Just an old friend," Edward lied, covering for me.

"With medical issues." Emmett smirked.

By this point, even "pure" Edward was rolling on the floor.

"How do you know know Filpino anyway?"

*Since almost everything was so dark lately, I just wanted some comic relief, ya know? If you really want to know what Seth was saying, look online. But don't if you don't like potty humor. Hey, don't blame me. This is an actual prank call my friends made. And if there is any grammar errors in the language, sorry. Reviews are welcome ^^*

*P.S. Hint: The last line is "Bye, Ass!"*