Authors notes: Character death time! Time to bump up the age rating!

"We're all ready, everyone?" Chromie said. The room was uncomfortably silent, as everyone knew where they were going.

"Yeah, I think we all are. Jaina, if you would?" Nova said. Jaina opened the portal, the other side a grey slab of grassland, with a greyish-reddish mud colored sky, covered in clouds, pouring rain. There was no doubt in anybody's mind that this was the land where the castle was.

"Well, time ain't gonna wait for us, folks!" Sgt. Hammer yelled as she drove the new, improved, Medi-car through the portal. "Get a move on it!"

"Please remind me why we gave an injured crazy woman all of my medical supplies." Morales muttered to Nova.

"We also gave her grenades…"

"Nice…"

"Well, there it is, guys." Nova announced. In the distance, through the rain, was a castle on a hill. The rooftops turned into spirals as they reached the top, looking like they were about to pierce the bleak sky.

The walk was long, but when they reached the black gates, it was worth it.

"Diablo, if you would?" Sylvanas gestured to the gate.

"With pleasure."

Diablo let forth fire from his mouth, not unlike a dragon, and soon the precious metal of the gate was nothing more than a piping hot glob on the ground.

"Careful everyone! Don't step in or on it!" Nova said.

There was a cobblestone path leading to a large set of wooden doors, which had been carved and cut to the point that it looked like a battle had happened there.

"Hey!" Shouted one of the guards around the door. They unsheathed their swords and charged, just before Nova shot them right between the eyes. The other guard screamed and attempted to run, but they tripped, landed on their head, and broke their neck.

"Good God, woman." Sgt. Hammer called from her car. "Maybe show 'em a little mercy?"

"Sorry, just-"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY 'MERCY'?" Tracer yelled, giggling. The entire group groaned.

"Let's just go in. Tracer, if you say another word, I'm shooting you in the ass."

The interior of the palace was elegant. Black and white marble checkerboard floors, deep purple iron walls, and a large staircase leading up to an entirely new set of rooms.

"Map." Nova muttered to Lo. Lo handed her the crumpled printer paper.

"We check the kitchen first. She might be eating. Then the training room, and then, unfortunately, the bath house and basement."

"The kitchen is right that way." Lo said, pointing to an arched opening near the staircase.

"Penelope, come out this insta- AAAH!" Li-Ming shrieked as a butcher knife missed her face by an inch.

A small woman, only about 5'2 and in a blood-stained chef's uniform, came into view, wielding a butcher's knife and screaming wildly. She attempted to strike Jaina, but Jaina dodged and made the girl stumble and nearly fall on her own knife.

"APPRENTICES! HELP ME!" She screamed.

5 children ran out of the kitchen, 3 girls 2 boys. They were not using knives but full on meat cleavers, and were whooping wildly.

"WHAT CRAZY CRACK-FUELED COOKING CLASS IS THIS?!" Sgt. Hammer screeched.

Nova triple-tapped the original in the head, and she fell to the floor. Her apprentices swiftly turned their heads, before Sonya leaped high in the air and landed with a THUD! Making a crater around them and stunning them. Sonya slashed back and forth, blood falling like rose petals to the ground. Li-Ming sighed happily, and started to fall over. Tyrande caught her by the shoulders, and stood her back up.

"Ok, the other rooms are clear." Nova said.

They headed up the staircase, and had just reached the top.

"There's actually a secret passage to get to where we need to be faster." Lo said, gesturing for the party to follow her. She pulled on a purple book on a bookshelf. At first, nothing happened, but then the bookshelf rumbled and shook. It revealed not one, but two passages.

"We'll need to split up." Nova remarked.

"No shit, Sherlock." Sgt. Hammer muttered.

"Jaina, Kael'thas, Sylvanas, Li-Ming, Sonya, Chen, Murky, Diablo, Cho'Gall, Zarya, Xul, Auriel, Morales and Lo take the left passage. Me, Chromie, Brightwing, Tyrande, Malfurion, Li Li, Lunara, Greymane, Raynor, E.T.C, Johanna, and Arthas will take the right one. If one finds the throne room first, we wait for the other group." Nova announced. And with that, the party split up.

"Listen guys, do you hear that, too?" Chromie asked. There was a slight hissing noise in the distance.

Tracer's face fell.

"Tracer? What's wrong?" Nova asked.

"Get down."

"What?"

"I SAID GET DOWN!" Tracer yelled. She shoved Nova just in time, as one part of the wall exploded.

"Tracer? Are you okay?"

Tracer was buried under possibly hundreds of pounds of bricks and cement, clearly not moving.

"Is she-" Li Li asked.

"Yeah."

Tracer dissolved into blue dust, leaving nothing more than a pile of bricks where she used to be.

"She knew it was a bomb. I don't think she knew it would explode right then."

"Well, we have our first death." Johanna said.

"Just all the more reason to fix this." Chromie muttered.

Consort: Yes, Ultimates are an absolute MUST. especially healer ults.

Skully: 10,000 cups of F*ck You's. I think that's my new favorite sentence.