Oh god.
I'm really sorry this took so long! I had quite a busy time, my sister got married, job, life, ugh, and I just didn't have the time to upload anything until now. I hope you'll forgive me :D
Chills: The Eternal Flame, huh? That just kinda makes that song go round and round in my head, whenever I read it xD
Sam0728: I feel some anger towards Thorin here :D Let's hope he comes to his right mind soon and apologizes :P
happypills27: Good old Gloin, he just has the best timing :D But Tarya and Kili will have a little moment in the next chapter, so I hope that will make up for that :D And I'm looking forward to meeting Tauriel, too, let me tell you :D
DwarvenWarrior: Because I'm a meanie and won't let them have their moments :D But don't worry, the next chapter should make up for that, I think :D
Doodler100: Oh, oh, if Gollum has to apologize for you, then something's definitely wrong :D I'm sorry for confusing you so much :D
Thank you all so much for your reviews, you guys, also to kaia, TheShawndaLee, Borys68 and the lovely Guest review! :)
And thanks to the people who favorited and followed!
And now I'm done and I'll let you read :D Leave me a comment and I'll make sure that you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter! :)
Tarya watched Kili as he got to his feet. She was quite happy that his behaviour – although she could tell he was still shocked – had not changed. Kili truly was her friend, no matter whether she was human or wolf.
No one said anything as Gloin's question hung in the air; instead they all kept staring at her. And she couldn't blame them, really, for she was quite surprised herself by the current events. She hadn't even actually realized that she had transformed again – it having happened just an instant before she had leaped – until after she'd knocked Beorn off his bear feet in the woods. She had run in the direction of Kili's and Fili's voices as fast as she could once she'd heard the bear approaching them from afar. But as she had been getting closer, she had become awfully aware that she was unarmed and that her body would never stand a chance against a bear in its human form and she had desperately wished to be wolf again because that had been the only way she could possibly help her two dwarven friends at all.
Truly, this transformation had come just as much as a surprise to her as her first one. But it had felt different this time. Maybe it was because she had actually been conscious while it happened. Now, she felt like she knew the key to her transformation because there had only been two things on her mind as she had changed.
The first one being her desperate will to do so.
The second one being the absolute certainty that Kili and Fili would get hurt, probably even killed, if she couldn't change.
Maybe Kili – the one person she'd committed herself to – and his life in particular being in imminent danger had been the last straw that had made her will strong enough to take control and make her transform. She didn't know. And she didn't know how much this commitment thing was influencing her relationship with the dwarf but it was a theory, at least.
She hadn't actually listened to her companions that had by now started discussing wildly after having been assured by Gandalf that they would be safe for the night. Fili had pointed out that she had been a wolf already when they had found her, or rather, when she had found them, as he put it. The dwarves had started speculating then, making up theories as to how this could've happened but she didn't really listen to them. She had her own little theory and by now, the pain of her impact with the forest floor and Beorn's paw was making itself felt. Her ribs hurt badly and she was still panting rather hardly. Hopefully that would be gone in the morning, she thought.
"She's hurt," someone pointed out over the different agitated voices in the room, successfully silencing the companions and catching her attention again but the Amarok felt anger sparking within her as she realized it had been Thorin to speak. Immediately, she felt several worried gazes on her and she huffed dismissively.
"She cannot breathe properly," the dwarf-king continued, looking at Oin.
The old healer frowned slightly at his king and Thorin pointed vaguely at Tarya's ribs, taking a small step towards her. Tarya instantly growled threateningly at him. Even though he was right – if there was one person in this room that she didn't want to have near her at the moment, it was Thorin Oakenshield. The dark-haired dwarf stopped dead in his tracks, sending her a weary glance as she bared her fangs at him warningly before she turned on her heels and trotted over to a corner of the hall. She didn't really want to be around any of them at the moment, really, but going back out was not an option, so she just resolved to separate herself from them as best she could.
The dwarves left Tarya alone after a while, after she had growled at first Oin who had wanted to check on her and then even at Bilbo who had wanted to get her to eat something. She'd successfully shooed both of them away. The dwarves continued their discussions for quite a while until late into the night, the only ones not participating in it were Gandalf, Thorin and Kili who were too preoccupied with their own thoughts at the time.
Gandalf had been quite surprised to see Tarya as a wolf again, although he had to admit that he had wondered whether something like this might happen. He had seen her appearance on the battlefield against Azog and his soldiers and the immense power that was slumbering within her human form. And he had wondered if it would somehow grant her the ability to change back, although the mere thought of it was quite bizarre since there had never been talk of human Amaroks before her, and none of ones being able to shift back and forth, either. But here she was, little Tarya, overthrowing almost everything the wizard knew about her kin.
Gandalf knew it was the 'origin of light' that was finally breaking through. Galadriel had told him that the Amarok had great power now and that she had, most definitely. More than Tarya herself or anybody here knew of, he was sure. The mere fact that she was able to shift between forms was proof for that, but also her fighting skills and the fire that was slumbering within her, waiting to come out whenever her anger was sparked enough.
Gandalf knew that if she were provoked enough, Tarya would be nearly invincible on the battlefield. And that was exactly the reason why he needed her to stay with this company.
The grey wizard had come to know about the little dispute she'd had with Thorin – nothing ever stayed hidden from him for long – and he could tell that the Amarok did not truly trust her companions anymore. And he could understand that, as well, knowing that Thorin was a proud dwarf who loved treasure as much as the next dwarf. Maybe even more. And Tarya was a treasure, after all, and she was worth much more than gems and gold. But she would be safe with them, the wizard knew, much safer than out in the wild on her own where she would be on display and accessible for any evil that wanted to make her theirs.
Thorin was sitting by the fire next to Balin who was talking to the group at the moment but he was only listening to his old friend with half an ear. He shot glances to where Tarya was lying in her dark corner from time to time, her black fur making her almost melt into the shadows. The wolf was still breathing rather strained but she had made it quite clear to all of them that she didn't want any help. And truly, he had seen that her wounds healed faster than theirs, so maybe she didn't need it, either.
He couldn't say that he was surprised that she had so openly shown her anger towards him, although he hadn't really been expecting her threatening growl when it had come his way. And he felt bad for what he had said to her earlier. Thorin had never really seen himself as a selfish person or someone who would draw advantage from another intentionally. And he could honestly say that he had never done anything like this in his years. However, the dwarf-king couldn't deny that his reasons for bringing Tarya with them had not been very kingly. He had considered her a treasure, a curiosity that could work to his advantage and he had to say that she did not deserve that. She was far more than just 'an Amarok'. She was a fierce warrior and a loyal companion. Tarya was loving and carefree as much as she was strong and truthful. Thorin felt guilt bubbling in his stomach, as he thought about the fact that this girl – or wolf – had associated herself with their quest without any contract binding her to it. And although Thorin was more than ready to grant her a fair reward at the end of the journey – just as much as Bilbo would get – he knew that she didn't really have any interest in the riches of Erebor. She wasn't driven by the prospect of wealth. That was not in her nature. Tarya had come with them because she had been haunted by something and ove time, she now helped them out of friendship and the belief in their cause and Thorin felt badly for not acknowledging that fully.
Kili was sitting next to his brother but his gaze was resting on the fire before him. His thoughts were still swirling around his canine friend. It was weird to see her in this form again all of a sudden. He had never actually thought about the possibility of her changing back to being a wolf and now he could have hit himself over the head for that. It had made him become painfully aware that she was actually a wolf and he was a dwarf and that the mere thought of them being anything more than just friends was downright ridiculous.
It was probably for the best that she had transformed, although there was an almost painful stinging in his chest when he thought about the possibility of her not changing back again. Kili didn't allow himself to explore the reason for that stinging any further and sighed heavily, trying to get these thoughts out of his head.
The young dwarf flinched when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Fili sent him an asking glance as he looked down at him but Kili just shook his head slightly.
"You staying?" Fili asked then and as Kili looked around, he realized with surprise that they were the last ones still awake. When had the others all gone to sleep? He nodded slightly at his older brother then who shot him a short smile.
"Just a little while," Kili replied, pulling out his pipe as Fili turned and walked over to his bed.
The young dwarf lit his pipe and quietly stared into the dying flames for a while longer until he heard the tapping of steps on the wooden floor. As he looked up, he saw Tarya slowly trotting towards him and he frowned slightly as she walked past and around him but his frown gave way to a small smile as she lay down, curled around his back, laying her head on her paws next to his right leg. Kili slowly slid forward until he was lying on his back and his head was leaning comfortably against her torso. She huffed friendly and he slightly turned his head to look at her. Tarya was watching him out of the corner of her eyes.
"You all right?" he asked her quietly, feeling disappointed that she wouldn't be able to give him a real answer. That he wouldn't hear her voice, which he now realized he would miss if he never heard it again. The dwarf felt her body vibrate slightly as she grumbled in reply. He could only assume that meant yes.
"You know, I really would like to know how you did that," Kili mumbled then, raising one hand to pet one of her ears gently. He had always liked the greyish shade her fur had there. The wolf beneath him made a low, unhappy growling noise that made him raise an eyebrow at her, though he didn't say anything more and just resolved to quietly smoking his pipe and enjoying the warmth that was coming from both the fire and Tarya.
Tarya woke early the next morning, feeling a strange weight on her body and as she raised her head and opened her eyes, she saw Kili who still had his head snugly lying on her torso. They must have fallen asleep in that position, she thought, slowly laying her head back on her paws, observing her friend's sleeping face. It was weird to wake up and seeing paws instead of hands but she had to admit that she quite liked being a wolf again.
In her human form, she wouldn't have known where to go or what to do if she were to leave this company. But as a wolf, she was free to go wherever she wanted. She could go back to her old life and forget about this whole quest right there and then if she wanted. Maybe that would be the best thing to do.
But then again, did she really want to leave? Looking at Kili's peaceful sleeping features, she wasn't so sure anymore what she was supposed to do.
Suddenly, the doors swung open with a lout bang and Beorn came walking into the room with heavy steps, waking anyone who had still been asleep in the process. Kili's head jerked up and he hurriedly fumbled for his sword – which wasn't there – out of reflex. The bear-man was hobbling ever so slightly and he had a big bruise across his face.
"You!" he cried out once he'd spotted them, walking towards Kili and Tarya who were on their feet in an instant, the Amarok flattening her ears and growling defensively while taking a few steps backwards. "What in the name of Eru do you think you were doing?!"
Kili came to stand before her then, apparently ready to fight the huge man with his bare hands if needed, although he wasn't even half as tall as Beorn. But the agitated skin-changer halted in his tracks, looking down at the dwarf before him for a moment, before he furrowed his brows deeply. "You're still in one piece I see," the skin-changer huffed.
"Yes, after you tried to dismember me and my brother," Kili retorted and Beorn shot him an angry glare.
"I have warned you not to stray outside after sundown, dwarf!" The skin-changer growled, towering over her brunette friend. "I am not to be blamed if you wander the woods at night and throw my warning to the wind."
"You are absolutely right," Gandalf interfered from beside them, as Tarya slowly let go of her defensive stance, coming to stand beside Kili who shot her a sideways glance. "Luckily, no one got hurt."
"I wouldn't say that," Beorn huffed, raising one eyebrow to emphasize the bruise on his face. He glanced down at Tarya who shot him a sheepish look.
'You've not exactly been gentle to me, either, Master Beorn,' Tarya grumbled at him, knowing he understood the language of her kind. 'I had to protect my friends. It was my fault only that they were out there at that time of night and I apologize for causing trouble.'
Beorn looked at her silently for a moment as she slightly inclined her head in a way of apology, before he nodded abruptly with a slight grunt. "Do not disobey my orders again," he growled then, looking at Kili and her, before his gaze shifted towards Fili who had approached them from behind. The two dwarfs nodded and Tarya grumbled lightly, agreeing.
The atmosphere lightened quite soon then as Beorn ate breakfast with them. Tarya wandered from Kili and Fili who both passed her some of their breakfast to Bilbo, slightly nudging his leg with her snout to apologize for her behaviour the night before. She had not meant to growl at the little hobbit, for she was sure that he did not have any ulterior motives in being friends with her. That was just not in his nature and Bilbo smiled happily at her as she allowed him to pat her head lightly.
She mostly ignored the rest of the company and made herself comfortable near the door as Beorn started to tell them what he had been up to during the last night before his return. Apparently, he had gone to verify whether their story was true, walking back the way they had taken and past the Carrock. Tarya perked up her ears when he told them that he had found orc tracks leading towards the Carrock from the other side of the fjord they had crossed.
It was highly probable that Azog and his soldiers were still after them. Tarya withheld a snarl as she thought about those filthy creatures, about the Defiler, still following them. They had obviously gained quite an advance on them with the help of the eagles but it would only be a matter of time until they would meet him and his soldiers again, that much was clear. And that was something that also the dwarves knew, for they all became quite serious after Beorn's announcement and decided to move on as soon as possible towards Mirkwood.
Thorin seemed to become a brooding ball of anger and Tarya wondered what exactly had happened between the dwarf-king and the Defiler that she didn't know of. Thorin seemed to have more reason than anyone else in the company to hate him. Although he wasn't exactly her favourite person at the moment, she would have liked to find out more about it, for she knew very little of his story. Maybe if she did, she'd understand better what was going on in his head from time to time.
Tarya left the house when Beorn started to explain that he would provide them with food and drink for their journey to Mirkwood and that he would lend them some of his ponies when they departed. The Amarok wasn't sure whether she needed to hear that. She wasn't even sure yet whether she would accompany them further and so she trotted away from the wooden house and lay down in the shadows of a few large trees that were standing quite a bit away from the entrance at the end of a green meadow.
It was a few minutes later that some of the companions came outside as well, their weapons in hand. Tarya was joined by her two dog friends as the dwarfs started to train. She watched them from her spot, enjoying the company of Arvo and Kol, while she tried to make her mind up on whether she should stay or go.
Kili watched his fighting companions from the stairs on the front porch. Fili and him were not participating in this particular training session and had rather resolved to watch their companions compete against each other. Ori had already been defeated by his older red-haired brother while Bifur and Gloin were currently tied. Bilbo was practising a bit further away with Balin who had coaxed him into training for once, saying that it was crucial for the hobbit to learn to defend himself for the oncoming continuation of the quest.
The youngest Durin heir wasn't actually concentrating on the ongoing fights, though, his gaze continuously drifting back to where Tarya was lying in the shadows. She seemed rather distant since yesterday, he thought, and she kept separating herself from the company. Kili wondered what was going on in her head and he wished he could just go over to her and ask her. He watched her thoughtfully as she got to her feet and slowly disappeared into the bushes, leaving the two dogs on their own.
"Do you think uncle told us the truth?" Kili asked quietly, still looking towards the bushes she had vanished into. He heard Fili sigh silently beside him. Thorin had told them that Tarya wasn't just with them because he wanted to benefit from her powers before they had gone after her the night before. It had been a clear no but the hesitation before his uncle's answer had Kili wondering whether he had maybe been lied to, although he didn't really think that Thorin would do that.
He had been surprised that he had let Tarya come after Rivendell, just as everyone else had been. But she had proven herself and she had already been a true member of their company by then. They had long overcome the point of just seeing her as an interesting curiosity by now, had they not? Kili himself had never been at this point, really, and he was quite sure that most of the dwarves liked Tarya for who she was and not for what she was by now.
"Of course he has, Kee. Uncle wouldn't lie to us," Fili said, "and he knows what a valuable companion we have in Tarya. She's saved our lives more than once."
Kili nodded slowly, considering Fili's words. He was probably right.
"But I think she's still quite angry at him, considering the way she growled at him yesterday. Sounded like she would tear him apart if he came any closer. She probably still thinks we're just using her since no one told her otherwise," Fili added thoughtfully and his younger brother shot him a quick look.
"But we're not! She's our friend, she should know that," Kili exclaimed and Fili shrugged slightly.
"I know that but considering the history of her kin, I guess she has a tendency to mistrust," Fili mused.
The two brothers stayed silent for a moment, both lost in thought. "Do you think she'll leave us?" Kili asked then, the thought suddenly overcoming his mind. She wouldn't do that, would she? "I mean, she's a wolf again now, she could just…" he trailed off, not knowing what exactly he wanted to say.
"How would I know? You're the one who has the strongest bond with her here, not me," Fili replied, scratching his beard absent-mindedly. "But I think that if she were to leave us, you'd be the one able to convince her otherwise."
"Because of her commitment to me?" Kili huffed, rolling his eyes slightly. He still didn't know what that meant but it was the only thing beside their friendship that was actually binding them together somehow.
"No," the blonde dwarf muttered, sending his brother a thoughtful glance. "Not because of the commitment." And with that he got up and walked into the house, leaving a bewildered Kili to stare after him.