Felicity woke up feeling groggy the next morning; she had slept horribly from tossing and turning all night and now that she was awake, there was a kink in her neck that hurt every time she moved to look to the left. She groaned in dismay.

It was Tuesday, she reminded herself of that fact, which meant classes all day and then the evening with Pomfrey in the hospital wing. Just the thought of having to go there after what happened with Gemma gave Felicity an uneasy feeling. Who would she have to persuade to just lay in bed all day?

When she finally opened her eyes she saw blackness until she could faintly see the surroundings of her four poster bed. There was only a little light creeping through the curtain but she knew it was far too early to get out of bed and start to get ready – and yet she couldn't sleep anymore. The faint sound of heavy breathing and snores coming from Lily and Marlene brought her back to reality as she pushed herself out of the comfort of her bed and into the bathroom. When Felicity passed by Gemma's bed the hollow feeling grew inside her – it was still unmade, as if she had hurriedly gotten ready and then left.

Once inside the brightly lit bathroom, the mirror became her new enemy.

Perhaps Felicity didn't realise how tired she was, but the bags under her eyes told a different story – they were dark, nearly black, and made her look old and worn out. Her hair was an utter mess – there was a large knot in the bottom of her hair that looked like it would be dreadful to get out. There were red blotches covering her skin, mainly on her arms, neck and chest, as if she had broken out into hives. She knew they were from stress but just looking at them made her more upset.

Since when had she begun to look like what she felt on the inside?

The thought bothered her. She stripped off her clothes to look at herself better and was astounded that she hardly recognized the person in the mirror. Her breathing became quicker and more ragged. She knew that she had lost weight since her family's death – but had her bones really stuck out like that before?

She didn't look like Felicity anymore and that thought bothered her the most. Who had she become?

Just a shell of the person she used to be.

Felicity was angry with herself and she could faintly hear Vivian's voice in her head whispering 'how could you let yourself get this way?'

The longer that she looked at herself in the mirror the angrier she got. How could she have let herself get so lost? She resented the fact that her parents and Vivian were dead – and she wanted to murder the people responsible for their deaths. And poor Gemma… alone in a hospital bed…

What was the phrase people said? If you want something done right, do it yourself. Could it really be that simple?

There was a blossom of possibility, a lovely flower surrounded by the darkness that had formed inside her. If she worked hard enough, would she still be able to get a job at St. Mungo's? Would she be able to look after Penny and Melody? And potentially Gemma too?

When she looked back into her own eyes through the mirror, she saw someone who was broken and she wondered if she'd have the strength to do what she knew needed to be done.

Felicity turned on the shower, stepped inside when it was warm enough and let the water get so hot that it seemed to burn her. She scrubbed until her skin was raw and tried her hardest to loosen the knot in her hair – but it wouldn't budge. Felicity put what felt like a whole bottle of conditioner in her hair yet the knot was still there. She had gone too long without brushing it and now it seemed impossible to get out. Her hair was long, nearly to the middle of her back, but the knot was so large that her hair stopped a couple inches shorter.

She emerged into the steamed bathroom unsure of what to do next when she saw the small pair of shears on a shelf near the sink. Marlene constantly kept her bangs short enough that they wouldn't fall into her eyes…

Before she could think twice about it – she grabbed the small shears and cut until the knot in her hair was gone. She grinned – an actual smile at herself in the mirror until she realised that she had just cut a chunk of her hair off and the rest of it would have to follow.

When Felicity was done – and she had truly done a horrid job – her hair was just longer than her shoulders and in uneven lengths. Dismayed – she tried to cut it to the same length, snipping pieces off here or there until it looked worse than before.

But when Felicity looked into her eyes she saw someone who was changed. Someone who had the littlest shred of hope and possibility.

As she got dressed by her bed, her hair dripping onto the floor – Marlene woke up and immediately went to the bathroom. Felicity figured she had about an hour and a bit before breakfast started and was packing her book bag for the day when Marlene emerged and nearly screamed.

"What have you done to your hair?!"

Lily bolted from her bed, wand in hand, feet in a defensive stance.

Felicity felt like a bug under a microscope. "I cut it," she said with a shrug, trying to walk out the door as quick as she could.

"You can't leave!" Marlene shouted before lowering her voice, trying to make it soothing and persuasive. "Come back and let me fix it."

When Felicity reluctantly sat down on Marlene's trunk, after Marlene had dragged her back by the arm, Lily ran her fingers through the wet strands. "Why did you do it?"

"There was a knot."

"There was a knot so you decided to cut off half your hair?" Marlene said, sadness in her voice. "Your hair was so long and beautiful-"

"I like it," said Lily as Marlene tried to make Felicity's hair even, the only other sound the quiet chop, chop. "It was time for a change."

Felicity was quiet – how did you explain the actions of someone who was broken to people who didn't understand? When Marlene exclaimed that she was finished Felicity grabbed her bag and walked out the door without a glance back. She knew that she should have thanked Marlene for fixing her mistake but it felt wrong. Marlene had looked at her like she was a mess – and in that moment under her gaze, she had felt like one. Was that how everyone looked at her?

Felicity didn't go far – she took a seat at one of the empty tables that littered the common room, there was no sense in going down to the Great Hall only to have people walk in to stare at you.

Instead, she came up with a plan.

Get good grades. Finish school. Get job at St. Mungo's. Care for Gemma, whatever that entailed. Move with Penny and Mellie.

Felicity looked at her list and stopped short. She should be able to do this, right? Depending how much care Gemma needed – or if she'd need any at all, the rest should be easy. Finally, after months, all it took was a short list to give her a goal and something to look forward to. The road wouldn't be easy, but when had it ever been? There was something bound to happen and go wrong but the only thing she could do was face it head on.

For so long she thought that she'd have to give up her dream of being a Healer to look after her sisters, to take care of them when in reality, she'd just needed a solid plan. Everything else would just have to follow and be taken care of as it happened.

She felt utterly stupid, sitting there and thinking about all the panic that she had gone through – thinking that nothing could ever be salvaged of their family. But in that moment as she sat, her eyes fixated on that list, it actually felt attainable.

After the summer, Penelope would be going to Hogwarts. Although her clothes and books would be expensive; they always were, and she'd need a wand… in the end it would be worth it.

A horrible thought came to her mind in that instant – would Gemma ever want to fly again?

An even worse thought followed – would she be able to?

Felicity shook aside the horrid thoughts – for she knew they'd plague her all day. Instead, she whipped out a small spare piece of parchment and wrote down all of the assignments that she had to hand in within the next couple of weeks. If she could finish all these by the weekend –

"What did you do to your hair?"

Felicity whipped her head up, her hand instinctively going to her hair only to realise that it was several inches shorter than normal. It was definitely going to take some time to get used to.

"I cut it," she said quietly to Peter, who was standing, gaping at her.

"But why?"

Felicity thought of Lily's words. "I needed a change."

Peter seemed at a loss for words, so decided to sit down. "Felicity-"

"Don't drag it out, you'll make it worse," she snapped, not in the mood to chat. "Spit it out."

"It's my fault Gemma's in the hospital," he said meekly, staring at his hands.

At his words, Felicity's blood ran cold. "What?" she choked out.

"It's my fault-" he said quickly, but Felicity cut him off again, unsure of his words.

"How?" She hated the fact that her voice cracked, showing her weakness.

Peter couldn't look in her eyes as he spoke. "We were in the library, looking up Quidditch moves when we came across one –"

"You didn't deliberately sabotage her, did you?" Felicity's words were cold as ice, her eyes glaring at Peter, who still couldn't look at her.

"No," he squeaked. "But I suggested she try it. If I'd known-"

Felicity sighed, leaning back. She didn't particularly want to listen to Peter's excuses but she knew that he'd had to feel guilty for coming to her and telling her this. "Peter," she said, waiting until he looked up at her to continue. Felicity tried to make her words as soothing as possible, which was hard to accomplish; she could see his hands were shaking. "I know this isn't your fault. You didn't force her to do it; she did if of her own accord. Accidents happen and I know you didn't mean any harm."

Tears started to fall down Peter's face as he quickly got up. "I'm so-so sorry," he squeaked before taking off through the portrait hole. For a moment, Felicity thought she ought to follow him but thought better of it. He'd come down to the Great Hall eventually – he couldn't resist the food. And when he came she would reassure him that it would be all right.

A gnawing thought echoed through her mind in Gemma's voice, but shouldn't he be reassuring you?

Felicity focused for the next hour, as more and more people started to head down to the Great Hall, completing half of an essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts before her hand cramped up and she figured she should head down to breakfast.

She hadn't seen any of the boys, save Peter, leaving the tower, or the girls. As she headed down, she looked for them but didn't see any sign. Many people gave her sideways glances and she met them with glares. Stop staring! She screamed in her head. Perhaps cutting her hair so drastically wasn't the best option.

When she walked in and towards her usual spot at the Gryffindor table, she let go of the breath she had been holding. No one was at the table yet, except for Peter, who was sullenly eating some toast and jelly.

Felicity started for her usual spot but stopped short and sat in James' instead. Peter's head moved a fraction of an inch in her direction but he didn't say anything.

Felicity placed her bag on the bench beside her, in Gemma's spot, before turning to Peter.

"I know you feel like this is your fault," she said, placing a hand on his arm. "But really, Peter, it's not. It's a normal thing to go and research Quidditch moves in the library. And Gemma is a capable witch, I'm sure she thought that she'd be able to complete… whatever she was trying to do." Felicity didn't pretend she knew what Gemma had even been trying to do; she had never been good at following Quidditch. "I have hope that she's going to wake up and I know she could never be angry at you; you're her friend and she cares about you."

Peter shook his head and tears fell onto Felicity's arm.

"It's okay to be scared," she continued. "Right now we don't know what's going to happen. But I do know that Gemma wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

"We had been snooping through the restricted section," Peter sniffed. "Trying to find new hexes to use on the Slytherins. I spotted the Quidditch book and showed Gemma; she loved it. I think it had been someone's before – there were notes in the margins, tips and tricks. She wrote some of it down but I don't think she knew enough…" Peter put his face into his hands to try and hide the fact that he was sobbing quietly.

Felicity pulled Peter towards her, embracing him as much as she could within the space available. "I'm so sorry, Felicity," he said quietly. "It's my fault and I'm just so sorry."

"Thank you for telling me," was her quiet reply. "I know it wasn't easy and you're feeling guilty."

He quietly pulled away and there was a silence between them before Peter spoke again. "I'm sorry too, for what I said when your family passed."

Felicity felt the goosebumps rise on her arms at the mention of her parents and Vivian. As always, when she thought of them, tears stung her eyes. "Peter-"

"It was a horrid thing to say," he continued. "I honestly don't know what I could have been thinking." He pushed around the leftover jelly on his plate. "When things go bad, James or Sirius will make a joke. Something stupid yet funny. Everyone will usually laugh and smile, the sadness forgotten. It's worked so many times that I didn't think before I spoke. It was the wrong thing to say in a moment where you were hurting more than I can imagine and I know I can never take those words back. But I am so sorry for what happened to them and what you had to go through. No one should have to suffer like that."

Peter's words rang through Felicity's mind, over and over again. I'd go loopy too if that happened to my family.

Peter couldn't look her in the eyes, he stared at his plate as his knife pushed the jelly around. Felicity tried to think of something to say, but she was coming up short.

"I forgive you," she said softly before pulling Peter into another embrace. "Horrible things have happened and I'm sure more are coming our way. But with friends like you Peter, I'm sure we'll be able to face anything."

When they broke apart, Peter had a small smile on his face. "Do you feel better, getting that off your chest?" she asked.

He nodded. "Thank you for understanding, Felicity."

Felicity only nodded, now lost in her own thoughts, of her feelings on that day. She had almost used an unforgivable curse… she had been seeing red after Peter had said those things. But even now, when things seemed bleak, she was glad that there had been someone to hold her back.

She almost jumped when someone's hand rested on her shoulder – a quiet yelp escaping her lips anyways. But it was only Amy, one of Gemma's friends. Amy immediately pulled back her hand and glanced down at Felicity's bag over Gemma's spot, but instead of asking to move it, she sat on the other side of it, her legs facing the opposite way.

Felicity could tell from the red eyes that Amy had been crying and when she spoke, there was a slight tremble in her voice. "I'd heard what happened to Gemma," she said. Felicity could feel Peter tensing beside her. "I just wanted to know if she'd woken up yet."

Felicity looked down at her hands and swallowed hard. "The healers haven't sent any updates; they say she's sleeping so her brain can heal itself. We won't know if there is damage until she wakes up."

Amy nodded. "How are you holding up? Is there anything you need?"

Felicity almost laughed; of course she wasn't okay, but the lie came easily enough. "No, I'm all right."

Amy nodded, not fully believing her words. She reached over and squeezed Felicity's shoulder again before walking back towards the Ravenclaw table.

"Does it get tiring?" Peter asked.

Felicity sighed. "You have no idea."

When another hand came down on her shoulder, Felicity did jump.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, love," Sirius said, moving his hand from her shoulder to her back. "Mind if I sit?" He motioned to the seat beside her; Gemma's, on which Felicity's bag was sitting on. With a sigh, she moved the bag so it was on the floor.

Without warning, his hands were running through her newly cut hair. "It suits you," was all he said before tucking in.

"I completely agree," said Remus before sitting down across from her. "It makes you look very sophisticated."

"Like a completely new witch!" Marlene exclaimed as she sat along with Lily and James. Felicity could hear Marlene quietly mutter to Lily, "Was that good?" and stifled a laugh herself.

"Thank you," Felicity said, picking up a piece of toast. "Now that I have you all here, I'd like to ask a favour."

"Yes," Sirius said automatically, before Felicity had even finished her sentence.

"But you don't even know what I was going to ask!" she said, a small smile coming to her face.

Sirius looked up, glanced in her eyes quickly before taking a sip of pumpkin juice. "I'd literally do just about anything for you, so what's the point in saying no?"

Remus rolled his eyes while James laughed. "What are you proposing, Felicity?"

She took a deep breathe. "We don't know when Gemma is going to come back, but when she does there will only be a couple weeks until our N.E.W.T's. We have a lot of assignments due in the next couple weeks as well as studying."

"Are you proposing a study group?" asked Lily excitedly.

Felicity smirked. "Somewhat."

Lily was about to open her mouth again when Marlene clamped her hand over her lips. "Please, do continue."

"I'd like us all to do an assignment for her," Felicity said quickly, and when Lily's eyes grew, she quickly went on so she wouldn't be able to interrupt. "She'll be coming back in the middle of things with a billion essays due. If we each do one for her, then she'll only have to focus on the assignments that are given out before N.E.W.T's, as well as studying. I think we should meet in the library's on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's."

"Felicity-" Lily reprimanded.

"I know it's asking a lot, but Gemma's our friend, our family." Felicity implored them to listen. "It'll only be the one time and if you like, we can get Gemma to rewrite the assignments so they are in her writing, she can tell the professors that she had them done before the accident!"

"I'll do it," Peter said, speaking up. "I can do the DADA essay that's due next week, it should be easy enough."

"But Peter-" said Lily quickly before Remus cut her off.

"I'll do her Transfiguration," Remus said, jotting down notes quickly.

"Remus? You can't be serious!" Lily said shaking her head. "If we get caught-"

"What else is left?" James asked, cutting Lily off. "I should have taken Transfiguration, it's the easiest!"

"I'll take Potions!" Sirius said quickly and Felicity could feel her heart start to bloom.

"This is so wrong!" protested Lily and within a second, Felicity's heart started to drop.

"Would you rather Gemma fail?" snapped Felicity. "What do you think will happen if she doesn't get this done? If she doesn't have time to study?"

The table was quiet as Lily tried to think of something to say. Her mouth bobbed open and closed like a fish out of water. "I-I.."

"Lily," Felicity said in a softer tone. "We can't make you do anything you don't want."

"I'll do it," she said, her voice shaky. "But she must rewrite my paper! I'm taking no chances!"

After they had doled out all the assignments and eaten, they made their way to their first class. Sirius' hand was weaved through hers; their fingers entwined.

"What changed?" he asked, speaking softly as to not be overheard.

James was in front trying to desperately switch assignments with Remus, so Felicity knew their conversation wouldn't be heard. "What do you mean?"

Sirius shifted, slightly uncomfortable. "The person you were yesterday is not the person who is here today," he said, picking his words carefully.

Felicity let out a quiet chuckle. "I had an epiphany."

"And what does this epiphany entail?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I came to the realisation that you were right; I don't have to do this alone. I've got a great support system that I can happily call family and who will help, no matter what. Case and point, with the assignments."

Sirius was shaking his head. "It's more than that."

Felicity sighed, pulling back on his hand so that they were falling behind everyone else. There was no need to lie to Sirius as he'd figure it out eventually. "I guess I've come up with a plan. When my parents died, I didn't have anything to look forward to, or a goal in mind. Last night and mainly this morning, I've come to the realisation that… well, I guess if I want something done right then I've got to do it myself."

Sirius smirked and pulled her along the hallway, knowing they'd be late if they didn't keep walking. "And what do you have in mind?"

"Pass my classes, get a job as a healer, move with the girls,…"

Sirius' eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's it?" Felicity noted that he never mentioned himself.

"I can't plan everything in advance! There are some things that will have to be dealt with as they happen, but for the moment, this gives me something to look forward to. Something to work for, a goal to be achieved. For the longest time I thought that everything was out of my reach and I'd have to sit back and not be able to do anything about it. But with Gemma indisposed and the girls waiting on us – I need to take control and make sure that we'll be all right."

"And you know I'll be by your side."

Felicity looked up at him, the words resonating inside her core. You're not alone, repeating in her mind over and over. The flower inside was once again blooming.

Wow, this chapter took longer than I anticipated! Sorry for the long wait and I hope you like it, please review!