When the Darkness Comes

Underneath the echoes buried in the shadows, there you were. Drawn into your mystery, I was just beginning to see your ghost. But you must know.

While at the party for Bobby, Gemma and I had a heart to heart so to speak. "Where you at on this, Gemma?" I gestured toward Jax who was deep in discussion with some of the guys after the surprise visit from the new Hitler crew that rolled up and made some interesting remarks to Clay about selling guns to color. As much as I wanted to pretend that Jax only dealt with mechanics at TM, I knew better. I think even as a kid I knew that SAMCRO wasn't completely on the right side of the law. Lord knows I had been in enough trouble with Jax as a teen to prove that.

"What do you care what I think?" She quipped back at me. She was right, Jax and I had decided to take every day as it came. I wanted to make sure he got time with Jac, and he seemed determined to prove to me that he was not just a good father to his kids, but a good man to me.

"Jax cares." And as much as he tried to make it seem like he didn't value what she had to say about the things in his life, I knew Gemma's voice was one that would always be in his head.

"You really want my advice? Total disclosure." She said and turned to look at both Jax and Clay.

"What do you mean?" I was curious, where was she going with this?

"It's the only way it works with you and him. You're too smart. Too, too neurotic to live in the vague. He needs to tell you everything. No truth, no pussy. You draw the line." Gemma layed it out, and while she was most definitely the type to handle Clay and even JT that way, being aware of all the gory details from SAMCRO didn't seem like something I wanted to be privy to.

"I'm not sure I want to know." I watched Jax as I said it, my mind already questioning what was going on and would he even be open with me.

"Then it will never last." Gemma spoke matter of factly, her face impassive. I was never sure if she really didn't want us together, or if she was so concerned for him and the plan she had in her mind that she would do and say anything to keep it on track.

"Did John Teller tell you everything?" Part of me felt that this question was pushing it, but if what she said was true, then there was only one answer she would have and it wouldn't matter.

Her eyes grew sad as she pondered how to respond for a moment, before saying "You love the man, you learn to love the club. You can do that, there's no truth you can't handle." She dropped the cigarette she was smoking and crushed it under her shoe. I looked out over the men who were gathered to celebrate the return of one of their own. They looked so tough to people who didn't know them, and yet I had seen them react to both joyful and heart wrenching news like a family. I had seen them gush over an infant, and my own child worse than those little old ladies that can't wait to tell you about their grandchildren and all their successes. Teddy bears, killer teddy bears that is what they were are times. And I wondered, could I handle knowing the truth? Deep down I did, I just didn't have all the facts. Before I could ponder it too much Jax was wrapping his arms around me.

"Hey darlin', you ready to get out of here? Eagle eye up there looks like she is going to fall out of her perch if we don't get her to bed soon, and I think I need to get you to bed too. But I have other plans than sleep." He purred in my ear, and how could I argue with that.

"You want to go get your mini-me down from your hideout, and I'll let Gemma know we are heading out." I snuggled into his embrace before we separated. He gave me that half smile that I know could send any girl reeling. He retrieved Jac and once they got down to the pavement he scooped her up and carried her to my car. Bobby pulled himself away from a cheaply dyed red head to hug him goodbye. Mush, deep down they all had a soft side. It made me smile, maybe if I remembered that these men did everything they did in the name of family, and loyalty I could handle anything that came with SAMCRO.

As we drove back to Jax's house he seemed to be both deep in thought and a small bit happy. He looked at me, touched my cheek and quietly informed me that Bobby had agreed to teach Jac how to play guitar.

"It was something she asked me about this morning. She is pretty unbelievable. Thank you, for all you did raising her. Man I don't know how I would handle any it. And now with the little man, Tara. I, I couldn't do it without you." His voice was quiet, there was more to it than just appreciating my mothering abilities, but I would wait. For now I smiled at him as we pulled into the driveway.

Neeta was reading a book at the kitchen table when we walked in, Jax cradling Jac in his arms as he brought her into the house, I thanked Neeta and handed her some money for her time. She shook her head at me, "Now Tara, you know I would watch that little angel boy anytime. You don't need to worry about paying me to read my book while he slept."

I looked at her, and had to smirk. "Gemma already paid you didn't she?"

Neeta laughed, "You are too smart to get anything by." She handed the money back to me, "Now you have a good night. I will be by in the morning, Gemma said you have to be to the hospital and Jax has to be at TM so I will be over to keep an eye on those two precious children for a while. Sleep tight my dear."

I closed the door behind her, locking it and headed down the main hallway. Jax walked out of the nursery, and stopped to look at me. He was in serious mode, it had been happening on and off lately. Whatever happened that night three weeks ago was still with him. My brain told me it was now or never.

"So what happened to being at the party longer?" I asked, we had discussed staying and having a night like we used to when we were teens. He was going to ask Gemma to bring Jac back to the house, but clearly that plan changed at some point today.

"Saw Bobby. I just didn't feel like staying." He shrugged. I hated this, when he went inside himself and wouldn't let me in. Maybe Gemma was right.

"What's the matter?" Oh man, here goes nothing.

"I'm just tired. I'm gonna take a shower." He shrugged his kutte off and tossed it onto the bed then headed for the bathroom peeling clothes off as he went. There clearly was no expectation of me joining him let alone following him to say what was on my mind. I picked up his clothes that were on the floor and held them as I quietly uttered the truth both he and I knew.

"You know why I run from shit all the time?" He turned in the shower with the water spraying down on him. I walked closer, dropping the clothes in the laundry basket and standing by the shower door. "Cause I don't trust anyone." He looked me in the eye then turned the water off. I stood my ground, as he pulled the towel from the rack not saying a word. "If I am gonna stay, I need to know the truth."

"I tell you the truth." I watched every muscle in his body tense as he wrapped the towel around his waist. Good lord, why had I picked this moment to do this? I could be on the receiving end of everything that lay underneath that fabric if I had just kept my mouth shut.

"Not just what you think I can handle. I need all of it." I kept eye contact so that he knew I meant it, "I need all of it. It is the only way I'll know if I can do this." I thought of the tattoo on my back, and how he let me put his kutte on him at Donna's party. I needed both of us to know that I could handle being in his life, and with that being a part of SAMCRO.

"I helped Opie kill a man today." He leveled me with his gaze. I was sure my face must have betrayed me, because I was trying to hold it together and have him take me seriously. "Retaliation for Donna."

I opened my mouth to say that Donna was an accident, but I remembered what she had said to me. I didn't get the chance to say anything before Jax continued "I shot him in the head." He nodded his head, probably assuming that he had said enough to send me running for the hills with Jac in tow. As he side stepped me and walked out of the bathroom he said with finality to end the discussion "I'm going to bed."

I stood there, not really dumbfounded, I don't think I had ever doubted his ability to harm another person, and I had heard rumor that the mayhem patch meant killing someone in the name of the club when Jax and I were younger. When I saw it on his kutte I wasn't surprised. But hearing him say that he had done it in the name of my friend, something hit me. And while every fiber of my being told me to grab my child and run, another voice said to me he had done exactly what I had asked. He told me the truth, beyond the kid gloves version he always gave me. That meant he wanted me to figure out if I could handle it to stay with him. And then a part of me opened up to the thought, what if something ever happened to me, Jac or Abel and I knew in the moment, the man in the room next to me would bring a wrath of hell on whatever person harmed those he loved. And with that I knew, for him I would handle whatever truth there was, because I was never going to find a man who loved so fiercely as Jackson Teller, and I didn't want try. I walked into the bedroom he was laying on the bed with his eyes closed, I could tell by his breathing that he wasn't asleep. Chances are he was waiting to see what decision I would make. I peeled off all my clothes as quietly as I could. I slipped under the covers, and lay on my side facing him. I reached my hand out toward him, not touching him but hoping he would sense my willingness to meet him half way, to support him and not run. That he would know that by being honest with me he was allowing me to trust his love for me and Jac. He must have felt me move because he rolled to his side facing me, a tear sliding down his closed eye lids as he reached a hand out to touch my waiting one. He intertwined our fingers then used his free hand to pull me flush against him.

"Figured out where you belonged." He said it in a way that sounded like both a question and a statement

"Same place I have belonged since you pulled my hair when we were six." I whisper back as I let my eyes close.

I'll be here waiting Hoping, praying That this light will guide you home When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love Hidden in the sun For when the darkness comes.

Jax and I slept tangled in each other. I would have been content to lay like this for as long as the powers that be would allow me. I should have known that it was all too good to last. I opened my eyes slowly enough the feel of him wrapped around me, and saw that he was already awake his eyes full of so much that I couldn't fully understand. He smiled down at me, "Morning."

"Good morning." I said partly stretching while he wrapped his arms around me tighter.

"Keep that up and you are going to find another reason I enjoy waking up next to you." He joked pulling me underneath him. His hands trailing up and down my body readying both of us for what we hadn't done last night but we were both aching for now.

And then his phone rang. He groaned, "Ignore it. I have more important things to take care of right now." And we did, as be buried his face in my neck kissing and nipping at my skin setting me on fire as he covered every inch he could get to.

And then my phone rang. Jax growled, knowing that my phone meant the hospital was calling, since no one else would have the audacity to call at this hour and interrupt him. Before I could move an inch his phone rang again. He dropped his head against my chest.

"It's a conspiracy. If I find out that the guys are doing to this purposely, there will be bloodshed." With that he grabbed his phone and kissed me. I watched his naked back walked across the room and pull on a pair of discarded sweatpants so he could take the call and probably make coffee.

I rolled and picked up my phone, looking to see the missed call, it was from Gemma's number which was odd. I listened to the voicemail, which was actually from Unser which was even odder. His message was vague, but it was clear with instructions to meet me at "my house" and not to tell Jax, that there was something Unser needed to discuss with me.

I must have looked confused when Jax came back in to the room. He handed me a mug of coffee asking as he did so if everything was okay. "You look like there is some mystery that needs to be solved, is everything alright? Was it the hospital that called?"

Here I had just hours before demanded full discloser from Jax, and I was being asked to lie to him. I didn't like it, so instead of lying I gave him the truth of what I knew so far.

"Yeah, it is weird, Unser called, sounds like there was some sort of accident last night. I don't know if a child was involved. I don't know why he was calling for me. I better get moving so I can check in about this. Neeta is supposed to be coming to watch the kids today, maybe I will see if she can come by sooner. Do you have club business, or was your conspiracy theory right? Because, I think we can make time before either of us has to rush off, since the kids are still asleep." There was something about him, standing there grinning at me knowing that right now, he was mine. That last night we didn't need more than simple gestures to make our feelings clear.

"Oh darlin' what I have planned for you, isn't going to take the short amount of time we have. Later, mmmm..." he set the mug in his hand down and climbed on the bed, caging me in between him and the headboard. He drew me in for a kiss, his lips covering mine, claiming me. His hands, though I couldn't see them I felt them grip the headboard he was preventing himself from touching me.

"Please" I barely managed to whisper against his lips as they moved down to my chin on their way to my neck. All I wanted in this moment was to feel his hands on my skin which was heating up, not to mention I could feel myself dampening between my thighs. I arched up against him, begging with my body for the relief that only he could give me.

He nipped my collar bone, "Darlin' when I get you back in this bed later, you are going to beg, and I will grant your every desire. " My body arched up again with his statement, and he met my with rhythmic thrust, letting me know that he wanted to be here with me as badly as I wanted him. "Mmmm, as much as I want to continue this and I do, Clay has club shit he needs me for. But, this," he let his tongue graze my throat, "will be so worth the wait."

Now the door is open. The world I knew is broken. There's no return. Now my heart is not scared. Just knowing that you're out there watching me. So believe.

Neeta arrived shortly after my calling her. Took avoid any kind of lying I made a point of telling Jax that I was going to make a stop at my house before the hospital. He kissed me goodbye told me to be safe, and I did the same to him as he pulled his kutte on and picked up his keys. He grinned at me, "Are you kidding, I have plans with a hot doctor later, I'm not doing anything to mess with what I have in mind for her." He placed a final kiss on my head and left with a "Later Doc."

When I arrived at my house, I opened the door and had Unser there greeting me immediately.

"Tara, it's you." He seemed so relieved and I couldn't understand why, not until I saw her sitting on the couch.

My heart fell when I took in the whole of what I could see.

"Jax see you leave?" She asked, her voice rough, emotional. From what I could see it looked like she was beaten. He face swollen, from being struck, her eyes puffy from crying clearly, though she would go to her grave insisting that she never cried. I could only imagine the damage I wasn't seeing. Suddenly her express went from placid Gemma to embarrassed, even ashamed.

"I told him Unser needed me for an accident, and that I was coming here before heading to the hospital. Full discloser that was your idea, remember? I didn't know that it had to do with you." Her eyes widened then narrowed at me. "You need to tell me what happened so I can help you."

"Use your imagination." She tossed her regular, simply put 'bitch in charge' attitude at me.

Unser appeared defensive on her behalf, but maybe hearing about any harm that was brought on Gemma was too much for him. "Maybe we should let her rest."

I was not up for anything messing around, and I wasn't going to start lying to Jax now. "We have to get her to the hospital." I turned to Gemma "I can't treat you in my living room."

She looked at me like I had five heads, "Seriously. Tara, the insurance and shit. Everybody'll know. " It was this that made it pretty clear that more than a beating happened here, and that told me that as crazy as I assumed Clay could get at times, it wasn't him that had done this to her. I had an idea, it was a bit of a long shot but it was the only way I could get here to the hospital to treat her.

"We'll go home, get you some clothes, then pick up Abel. Neeta is watching him and Jac. We'll sign him in. We'll say we're running more tests." I was risking more than she could realize with this option. But her response told me that maybe she did.

"You could get fired for that." Her lips shook. And for all her composure with everything, it was obvious she needed to emotionally let go. I couldn't believe she was letting me see her in this vulnerable state. Was she possible on the way to accepting me?

"I'll figure it out." I said as I stood to make it clear that the conversation was over, and we were leaving. She followed my lead but grabbed my hand, when I turned I saw the fear and shame in her eyes.

"Promise me" she choked on what could have been a sob, "promise me you won't tell anyone." She gripped my hand harder, staring me down, but for once she wasn't doing it to frighten me, she was begging me.

"Promise." She had just in a silent way agreed to let me be her doctor, I had no choice but to keep anything between us. There would be hell to pay with Jax over this, I was sure of that. For now I couldn't worry about it.

"We've got to tell Clay." Unser spoke, he was done being a silent observer.

Gemma's eyes widened then narrowed on him, "Not Clay. Not Jax. No one."

"Alright." He held up his hands in surrender. "I won't say anything."

As we walked out for the house, she put her sunglasses on and Unser pulled me aside.

"They're gonna see her face." He hissed at me. I wanted to hug the man for how much he cared about this beast of a woman. He always had. Even as a young ridiculous teen I saw how his eyes betrayed him when he looked at Gemma and all her fury bailing Jax and I out of trouble.

"I know." There was nothing more I could offer. This was a clusterfuck that would only blow up once Clay and Jax found out. But for now, Gemma was all Unser and I could handle, and that was still alot.

Unser's face looked pained, I could see the war raging in his eyes. I knew, just from his connection to the law and SAMCRO that he was having a moment where he was trying to play both sides of this.

"Stay with her, alright?" He said to me as I got her into my car.

"What?" I watched him, have this internal battle while Gemma just looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole.

"Just a minute." He paused standing next to the car, and whispered so low I wasn't sure I had hear him right. "I love you, I do." He got into the car he had driven, it wasn't his patrol car or Gemma's probably to avoid drawing any attention to them being at the house. I drove us to her house, clearly there was no one home, but she sent me in alone anyways.

"Just grab me some clean clothes, please." She whispered not looking at me.

"Okay. I'll be quick, then we need to grab Abel. I can see if Neeta can keep an eye on Jac while we are at the hospital, okay?" I laid out a plan for her. Maybe if she didn't have to make any decisions and I kept it simple and clear for her, it would be easier to get through this. She didn't answer, but I didn't need her to.

I'll be here waiting Hoping, praying That this light will guide you home When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love Hidden in the sun For when the darkness comes For when the darkness comes.

*UPOV*

I couldn't believe I was doing this. She was going to kill me, but at least it was a story that would explain why she looked the way she did. I shivered as I thought about the fact that she was going to murder me for wrecking her car, after she was done killing me for what I was about to do.

I slowly approached Clay and the man I knew to be from a gang in Oakland. His name mattered little to me at the moment. I approached the two hoping to send the young man back to Oakland so I could talk to Clay privately.

"Something you fellows need?" I felt like such an ass, my wife would have my head if she knew I was acting like a racist jerk.

"Black man can't stop for gas in Charming?" The young man asked me heading back to the car where he had someone waiting for him.

"As long as he buys enough to get him back to the hood." I waved as one threw me the finger and they started to drive off "Boys, have a nice day." Then I turned back to Clay, confused because he didn't normally bring his business into the city limits.

"Thought we don't shit where we eat?" I gestured toward the direction the car had driven off in.

"Relax," Clay gave me a look that told me I was meddling in something I didn't want to know about, "Just mending fences."

I was trying to figure out how to do this, I had rehearsed in the car on the way here, but now, now I didn't know what the hell to say. Clay pulled me from my thoughts when he sighed and snapped at me "What?"

I looked up and just said the shortened version "There's a car out by the power and water construction site. It well, it needs a tow."

"Call the garage." He was quick to dismiss me. I was going to have to spell it out for him.

"It's Gemma's Caddy. She ran off the road last night heading home from the party." I knew from what she had told me that Clay had been too drunk and entertaining the members of the mc who were not local to leave when she had. She had said he was going to stay at the clubhouse, so he didn't know she hadn't been home. I could have strangled him for treating her the way that he does.

"She all right?" He asked, concern suddenly setting in.

I shrugged at him, "She's with Tara at St. Thomas."

"You are telling me this shit now?" Clay went from concerned to angry in a split second.

I shrugged again, "I just found out. Hey at least I came looking for you. I could have just called and left a message at the house, and then what?"

I'll be here waiting, hoping, praying that this light will guide you home. When you're feeling lost I'll leave my love hidden in the sun. For when the darkness comes.

*TPOV*

I had managed to get Gemma to the hospital and ran a full gambit of tests on her. I could tell that she was humiliated when I did the rape kit. I knew she would have a fit if anything had her name on it, so I sent it Jane Doe. Neeta insisted on coming along which meant Jac was here. But she kept Neeta busy while I treated Gemma and gave Abel I check-up to avoid any questions. We were just about done when I suggested she see a plastic surgeon for some of the damage to her face.

"I've been hit before." She said as a knock sounded on the door.

Unser opened the door and stuck his head in, "Sorry to interrupt, doc. I need a word with Gemma."

I looked at her for approval, and she nodded "Let him in." Unser apologized, thankfully we were done and Gemma was dressed. "What is it?" She asked, he had left us what felt like hours ago, promising that it would only be a minute.

Unser suddenly couldn't make eye contact with Gemma, "Clay is here." I sighed, I figured he was up to something when he left us back at the house.

Gemma's response of "You son of a bitch." must have been pretty close to what he had expected because he didn't skip a beat or seem intimidated when he continued with his reason for needing to talk with her.

"I told him you were in a car accident." Unser looked her square in the eye. I had to admit, it would help explain some of the bruising, especially on her face, and why she was moving slowly, like she was in pain.

"What?" Gemma seemed to not understand him at all, but it just made perfect sense really. If she wasn't going to tell him the truth, yet. Then at least she could tell him something. The funny thing was, she was so insistent that I demand full disclosure from Jax, but she herself, would never give it.

"I ran your caddy into a concrete barrier out by the utility shed." He continued unashamed. Whatever he said seemed to have an impact on her, "Take my head off if you want, but I just didn't see any other way to sell this." Unser gestured at her.

"You, he's got a point." I realized as soon as I spoke that I shouldn't have, because she turned her angry gaze on me. I put my hands up in surrender, and then she turned back to him. But he seemed to already know what she was going to say, so he cut her off.

"He doesn't know about anything else." Unser again kept his gaze even with hers. I had to hand it to him, years of dealing with criminals and the likes of Gemma Teller-Morrow had seriously strengthened his backbone.

"I'll go talk to him." I figured I could spin the medical speak, and buy her some time to figure out what she was telling Clay since she refused to tell me exactly what happened. As I approached the door she seemed to have the shame come over her again.

"I don't want to see him yet." It came out as a whisper, maybe it was starting to hit her, who knows. I don't think I will ever completely understand the inner working of her mind. And then it happened, Unser looked away from her and it caused her to look at him in a more scrutinizing way. He caved under her stare.

"Actually, they are all here." He shrugged, "Jax and the guys." I mean really it was a testament to how important she was to them, but she didn't see it that way.

"Christ, Wayne. Is there anyone you didn't tell?" She sounded like she wanted to be angry, but she just didn't have it in her.

"I'll handle it." If I was going all in with Jax, I needed to prepared for this right? Unser seemed to sense my thought.

"Maybe I should go help." Unser offered. It was then that Gemma finally spoke to us.

"This wasn't about me." She started, but Unser interrupted.

"What do you mean?"

"What those animals did was to hurt Clay and Jax. Anyone finds out, anyone, and they win. I can't let that happen." She wiped a tear away. I knew I could give a rundown of basics that would satisfy the waiting crowd.

"Who's "they" honey?" Unser asked, always looking to make sure justice happened. He would probably go to his dying day protecting either justice, or Gemma.

"It doesn't matter." She reached out and took both my hand and Unser's. "Thank you. I know this isn't easy. But I can't let them be hurt by this."

I left the room and headed down the hallway, I had a sense of where to find Clay and Jax. Unser was on my tail. As we rounded the corner Jax was waiting. He looked worried, but seemed to relax a bit. He advanced to me, and I met him in the middle leaving some space for Neeta to keep an eye on Jac and Abel.

"How is she?" his voice carried his concern. I hated that to honor her wishes, I was going to have to lie to him, especially now that I had pushed him to be honest with me about everything.

"She's fine. Just a few bruises." I had to admonish myself for feeling like I wasn't lying to him.

"Okay, good." He seemed to have more on his mind, and knowing that Gemma was okay let him relax enough to get it off his chest, "Look, I'm glad you asked for the truth. It means a lot to me, you wanting to figure out how to make this work." He pulled me in for a hug.

It was a while later when Gemma left with Clay and the others. Jac and Abel went back to the house with Neeta. And I found myself knowing deep down, that like Gemma I would do and say whatever I needed to protect my family. As of several weeks ago, my family had gone to more than just Jac and I, something I hadn't expected and definitely wouldn't change.

*POV*

"They don't know what happened. The nanny said she got hurt in a car accident. Clay's laughing with some kids. You said this would rip them up."

"It will. Unraveling the matriarch will destabilize them. They are all little boys who need a strong mommy."

"But if this bitch doesn't say anything, what the hell does that mean?"

"It means we underestimated Mrs. Morrow."

Hidden in the sun. For when the darkness comes.

The song is sung by Colbie Caillat.

Thank you for bearing with me everyone. Real life has prevented me from getting this chapter up sooner. Fear not, the story is not done, and I am not giving up on it. Just please understand that it might take me time.