A/N: Ok, so there was a reprieve from the angst, but that time is up. Buckle your seatbelts. It will get better, but it's going to be really bad. Think rollercoasters, lol.
I love all of the wonderful feedback. Thank you so much for being rock stars and sticking with this through all of the torture I'm putting them through!
Disclaimed, as always.
Chapter 25
The dream tormented her. The pictures were more vivid this time. More detail. Red stood in front of her, his face drawn and angry. He was shouting at her. He turned to a bookshelf behind him and shoved them at her.
He didn't want her anymore. He was done and she would be free of him.
Despair swamped her as she sat up from bed with a groan. Her heart beat wildly, but Red still slept peacefully beside her. She put her hand on his arm to reassure herself.
But still, the sick feeling inside of her festered. Was she so insecure that hers fears of losing him had inserted themselves into some sick delusion?
She was remembering more and more. Pieces that were building a puzzle.
She rolled out of bed, nausea forming in her belly. Red loved her. She loved him. He hadn't given her a single reason to believe any differently.
She hastily pulled on a pair of yoga pants and one of Red's t-shirts.
The bookshelf. She would go and look to prove to herself that this was not her reality and then blame everything on her captivity. Paranoid delusions, that's all they were.
She walked into the library and stared at the multitude of shelves of books. She had no idea where to look, so she closed her eyes and tried to remember the dream.
Encyclopedias.
She crossed the room to them and pulled out volume after volume, feeling foolish and relieved that nothing was there. She was ready to give up when a set of folded papers fell to the floor as she yanked a book out.
Her heart fell and she stared at them like they were a hideous creature about to take her leg off.
Carefully, she re-shelved the encyclopedia and stepped back. Squatting down, she picked up the papers and carried them to the desk so she could read them under the light of the lamp there.
At first, she couldn't make sense of what they were. Legal documents for sure, but it wasn't until she'd read them a couple times that it sunk in.
Shock hit her like a train. Divorce. Red had filed for a divorce. The papers sat while one hand covered her mouth and one hand covered her stomach where their daughter rested. All she could do is breath deep so she wouldn't vomit.
Bits and pieces of that day came back and she closed her eyes to block them out. It was no use, Red's face was full of rage and grief. He hated her. He wanted out of their marriage. God, some of the things he'd accused her of.
He'd accused her of having an affair with Dembe. Was it true? Fuck, she couldn't remember!
She remembered how she felt that day, as if she had failed and could never make it right, yet she'd been devastated when he'd showed her the papers.
No one knew. She'd die before she went to Mr. Kaplan or Dembe with their marital problems.
Was he glad when she died? Oh, god, was he acting like she was the love of his life because he felt guilt she was taken?
She choked back a sob as she stood. Her palms were slick with sweat, her breathing so shallow she felt light-headed. She shoved the papers in the waistband of her pants and left.
She made her way through the house and stumbled outside. Dembe would know, he could help. She wanted to curl up and cry. She could always call Dembe. She knew he would come for her.
With a snarl of disgust "No one can save you now but you," she chanted to herself over and over.
Squinting and walking towards where Red pointed Dembe's house to be, she searched her tattered memories of any indication that she was mistaken about her relationship with Dembe, but all she came up with was brotherly love.
At his door, she hesitated and chided herself for being such a coward. She rubbed her palms down her pants and knocked on his door with a hand that shook.
The door yanked open and she stepped back instinctively when Dembe appeared wearing nothing but boxers and a scowl, pointing a gun at her.
His scowl disappeared as soon as he realized it was her. Worry instantly replaced it "Elizabeth. Is everything ok? Is something wrong with Raymond?"
She wouldn't cry. Would. Not. Cry. She made painful facial contortions to maintain her composure.
"Can we talk?" she said haltingly.
He moved to let her in "Of course, what's wrong? Where's Raymond?"
Again, the threat of tears nearly undid her. She bit her lip and followed him inside.
"Red is asleep," she said softly "He's fine."
Dembe's sharp gaze flickered over her and it was obvious he didn't miss that she'd left herself out of the 'okay' equation.
He put his hand on her shoulder "Hey, what's wrong, honey?"
No longer able to control the tide of emotion, she launched herself at him and buried her face in his chest. Tears fell like raindrops as she wrapped her arms around his neck. All of the aguish she'd tried to hold in came spilling out.
He wrapped his arms around her and didn't say anything. Just stroked a hand through her hair. He waited as she wept all over him.
When she finally got control of herself and the sobbing was reduced to the sniffles, he carefully pulled away and tilted her chin up to look at him.
"Sit down and tell me what's wrong? Did something happen with Raymond?"
At his name, she closed her eyes and blinked back more tears.
"What has he done?" he said, his voice carefully neutral.
She let him guide her to the sofa and sit her down. He settled beside her, perched on the edge and turned in her direction. She gripped his hands, afraid to let go, afraid she'd break down again and she'd never get her question answered.
"Do you need a drink?" She just shook her head in reply. She raised her head to meet his eyes. "I need to ask you something. And I need the truth."
He brushed stray hairs off her face and tucked them behind her ear "Anything. Of course."
She swallowed and just blurted "Did we…did you and I…ever have an affair?"
Tbc…
A/N: Let me know what you think.