Dread filled me as I sat at my desk in Religion tapping my foot so loud that I kept getting weird looks from the two in front of me and even miss boring stopped by to give me a stern look. My heart was like a hammer in my chest, nervous as to what I was supposed to say and how I was supposed to act. My head kept repeating what had happened at lunch, seeing her face when a look of fear slipped into place over her mask; her face was real and something about that spoke to me on a very animalistic level, fear seemed to pinprick inside of me because of the words that had passed between the boys and the look that had frozen me to my seat.

'Kate!' This woke me from my monologue.

'Yes…' I said looking up and seeing miss watching me.

'I was just asking whether you knew what the shadows represented in Plato's analogy of the cave?'

'Em…' I licked my lips and took a breath. 'They represent the views of people who don't learn philosophy as they trapped only seeing a form of the thing not the true form.'

A smile came across her face.

'Exactly…actually Kate are you aware what book this came from?'

'The republic.'

'Yes exactly.' She said smiling at me. 'Now that is a student who stands a chance at passing; well done Kate.' I flushed bright red, and looked back down at my work feeling the others staring holes in me; I was beginning to relax and listen to Miss drone when I heard the door open.

'Mr Cuthbertson, late again.' She reprimanded.

'Sorry I was dealing with something…' His voice was hollow and even the teacher looked a little taken back.

'Well just don't let it happen again…' She said softly, turning back to the board. Arthur walked over to our desk without his usual swagger.

'Hey.' He breathed, his voice soft.

'Hey.' I whispered back, smiling softly.

'I'm sorry…' He muttered. 'I get if you want nothing to do with me…'

'What happened back there…what did Shane mean when he said you couldn't let her get away with that?'

I saw him take a rather long breath, and rub his hands somewhat roughly through his hair- before meeting my gaze.

'You heard that?' I nodded. 'She knows she doesn't do that, and…I can't if I tell you…'

'If you tell me?' I prompted.

'If I tell you, you will leave me.' He whispered, looking at me with his wide chocolate eyes, his hand finding mine and gripping it tight.

'Arthur just tell me because I'm going crazy thinking what it could mean…' My voice was steadier than I'd thought, and it showed my words register in his face.

'Please don't make me tell you…' He murmured.

'I already know you fifty shades of fucked up…just tell me...'

'Miss Best what would you say is the major criticism of Plato's theory?' I looked up suddenly at the teacher, plastering on a smile.

'Em…probably the fact people can't find true knowledge until they die and go to the land of the forms because finding proof of the theory is a key reason people don't understand or belief in his theories…' I said quickly.

'Exactly, and Socrates…' And she was off again, I turned back to Arthur who was watching me with a weird look in his eyes.

'Your too good…' He murmured, running his finger tip across my palm.

'What does that mean?' I whispered.

'It means I should just leave you alone…it means I should let you go back to what you were before me…'

'Arthur your scaring me.'

'You're probably right to be.'

'Please tell me before I go insane!' I hissed.

'Before I do…let me tell you something…' He waited, looking at me until I nodded.

'Go ahead.'

'Catherine you're the first who sees past all this bullshit, you let me be just a normal guy and…Kate I think I'm in love with you…'

'What?' I breathed, looking at him with wide eyes.

'I love you, I know it's not right and its weird but I've fell for you and I don't think I can lose you.' His voice was whisper soft, and his hand was frozen upon mine.

'Arthur…' I whispered; but he interrupted me.

'But you want to know…it's a gang.' He spat, the words flooded over me like I'd been submerged in an ice bath.

'Mr Cuthbertson what do you remember what killed Socrates?'

'Hemlock, although he was given the chance to not die but he didn't take it.' He said without looking away from me.

'Exactly!' The teacher enthused.

'When you…' I tried to articulate but my head wasn't playing, it was whirling ideas. His house, his actions, the bruises that were now technic-colour- it was like a slideshow of moments flicking through my brain as I tried to understand what he was trying to tell me.

'Kate?' He whispered, looking at me. I used my free hand to push a piece of hair back into place; and breathed out in a gush of air.

'Okay tell me one thing…you haven't…you never…have you killed anyone?' I whispered so very softly, so my words were only a little louder than air.

'No!' He said loudly making people turn and the teacher stop her lecture. 'Sorry busted pen!' He smiled and laughed somewhat hysterically- the teacher just smiled and returned to her lecture taking with her everyone's attention. I felt myself sigh in relief, if he had of said yes I had no idea what I would have done with the information.

'Okay but the bruises?' I asked, touching his knuckles softly; gentle as they were still looked somewhat painful.

'Yes that was what it was.'

'Why didn't you tell me on Saturday when I asked?'

'Didn't want to scare you off…' He breathed, I looked at him; looked at the bruises and cuts and the softness of his eyes.

'I've lost you haven't I?' He said so very soft.

'No.' I breathed very soft, after a moment.

'No?'

'It doesn't change you.'

'Doesn't change me?' He asked incredulously.

'You're still the person you were when I met you.'

It was as if he was having an internal debate, his forehead puckered and became lined, he mussed his hair again and rubbed his shoulder and neck as if to relieve tension.

'Just tell me A.' I whispered, squeezing his hand.

'What Shane said…he's right…' He said softly.

'You have to hurt her?' I sighed.

'Yeah, not me necessarily but she can't…'

'Why?'

'Because she came against me.'

'You're the head of all this right?'

'Since I turned sixteen but I've been the dickhead a lot longer.'

'I can't agree but it isn't my business- I don't understand it.'

'What's that mean?'

'I don't know.' I said honestly. 'Why does she want you so bad?'

'You really want to know?' He said, raising an eyebrow.

'Yeah, I have to.'

'Money, mostly but also the fact she'd be set up.'

'Set-up?'

'It means she'd not have to worry, she'd be my queen and the king always watches over his queen.'

'Huh?' The more he said the more confused I was getting.

'She would be untouchable… in theory.' I'd laughed, somewhat without thinking and he'd smirked at me.

'Sorry but that's just…'

'I don't like, I just have to do it.'

'I know and I think that's the only reason I'm still sitting here.' I said honestly.

'I'm sorry…I should never…'

'Stop, at least now I know…' I sighed.

'Be honest Kate are you going to leave me?'

I looked at his face, looked again at the technicoloured bruising; the cut above his lips- all part of something bigger. Then I looked at his eyes full of honesty and clarity and I saw something there that pulled me- almost as if he was my heroin; I craved to know more of who lived beneath the muscle, the title and the face. And it was thinking of this; of when he'd took me Durham, to trampolining, the meals, his house- I knew he wasn't a bad person and I couldn't give him up.

'No.' I said meeting his eyes, and leaning over planting a chastity kiss on the corner of his mouth and turning back to the lecture- I could see him smiling out the corner of my eye as he brought my hand to his lips- kissing it softly.

'I really am fifty shades Kate.' He murmured.

'I know…but Troy Bolton lives somewhere inside you too and I'm going to find him.'

He chuckled softly, as we both turned our attentions to the lecture.