Chapter 25
Liz looked at Max when Isabel
closed the door behind her, after giving Michelle a good-bye kiss.
"Is everything okay?"
Max just put his arms around
Michelle when she crawled up into his lap, snuggling with her nose in his
shirt.
"It's
fine," he answered evasively.
"She seemed upset," Liz said
quietly. She had a strong feeling that it had something to do with her.
"She's just…being Isabel,"
Max answered and smiled weakly. But the smile never reached his eyes and he
shifted uncomfortably.
"Are you okay?" Liz
whispered.
"Uncle Max is sad," Michelle
answered in his place.
Liz and Max turned their
heads in unison towards the little girl.
"Why is he sad, Michelle?"
Liz asked.
Max looked at Liz when
Michelle answered, "He don't like to fight. He don't like when mommy is angry."
Max dropped his eyes when Liz
shifted her eyes to him and then placed a tender kiss on the top of Michelle's
blonde head.
"You're right, Michelle," he
whispered, "I don't like to fight. But mommy isn't angry,
she is just a little upset right now."
Big brown innocent eyes
looked up into his. "Why?"
"She wants me to do something
I don't want to do," Max answered quietly.
"Oh," Michelle said, biting
her lower lip. "Is it like when mommy wants me to sleep and I's don't wanna?"
Max smiled. "Exactly,
sweetie."
"Can me show Liz my room?"
Michelle asked, her eyes suddenly sparking with anticipation and excitement.
Max raised his eye-brows in
silent question to Liz. She smiled and answered his question out loud, "I would
love to see your room. I didn't know you had a room here."
"Uncle Max gave me one,"
Michelle answered and began to inch her way out of Max's lap.
They all rose from the bed,
with Michelle bouncing away towards the door the second her small feet
connected with the floor.
"Hurry,
hurry."
Michelle's voice held the same bouncy as her feet as she was jumping on her
place next to the door.
Liz laughed. "Okay, okay."
Max followed close behind,
but was stopped by Michelle's determined hands on the front of his legs.
"Only girls," she announced
in her best educational voice.
"Oh," Max scratched his ear,
"Okay."
Liz sent him an apologetic
smile when she was being dragged away by Michelle's small hand.
"I'll just make us something
to eat then," Max said.
With mixed feelings he
watched them disappear down the corridor, before turning towards the stairs.
"There's Josh's room,"
Michelle pointed towards one of the doors.
"It is?" Liz looked at the
closed door, a twinge of sadness twitching in her chest.
"He doesn't live there
anymore. He lives in heaven now. With the cows and the angels."
"Oh," Liz couldn't think of
anything else to say.
"But Uncle Max has let me bworrow Josh's teddybears. But not all. Just some."
"Do you remember Josh?" Liz
asked.
"No," Michelle answered. "But
he lived here. Before. When Michelle
was a little baby. He didn't only visit, like me,
he stayed here all the time."
Michelle's eyes grew wide
with the unbelievable aspects of that.
"Have you ever been in his
room?" Liz asked, when Michelle opened the door to
another room.
"No," Michelle answered,
"It's locked. I's can't go in."
Liz nodded, her gaze
lingering at the closed door.
"C'mere."
Michelle tugged on their joined hands and Liz stepped into the small room. It
was a typical girl room and if Liz hadn't known better she could actually have
believed that Michelle always lived there. It didn't have the sense of being
only a "guestroom". It was completely furnished with a small bed and a small
table with four small chairs, where four different teddy bears were sitting.
There were pink curtains in the window and the wallpapers were white with small
pink flowers.
Michelle gave her the grand
tour, introducing her to her blue teddy rabbit, a teddy bear without an ear,
her doll Lucy, one red and one green mouse. Everyone had their own name, even
the plants in the window.
"That's Thornman,"
Michelle pointed at the cactus in the window, before quickly moving on to point
at the small dog in porcelain, "And that's Blacky. He
is guawding Thornman. Because Thornman is magic."
"Really?" Liz asked interested. "What can he do?"
"He pwotects
the pwincess," Michelle answered matter-of-factly.
Liz smiled. "Aha, the
princess."
"Dose," Michelle pointed at
the thorns, "is magic, and bad men wants them."
"What can you do if you have
one of those thorns?" Liz questioned.
"You get three wishes and you
can decide a lot of fings," Michelle explained
carefully.
"Oh okay, I see," Liz
whispered, her eyes going wide with wonder.
Michelle giggled. "You funny!"
There was a knock behind them
and they turned around, finding Max leaning against the doorframe. Liz could
feel her heart speeding up at the sight and she dropped her head to hide the
colorful blush that was rising on her cheeks.
"Have you shown her
everything, Michelle?" he asked.
"Yep," Michelle said and
nodded proudly. "Eeeeevifing!"
"I bet you are really hungry
now then," Max said, stealing a glance in Liz's direction. His heart fluttered
in reaction to the sight of her and he had to tear his eyes away to refocus on
Michelle.
"Can't we play first?"
Michelle pleaded.
"We can play after we've
eaten," Max said.
Michelle pouted and looked at
Liz for assistance. Holding up her index finger Michelle said seriously, "Just
one hour."
Liz laughed softly and
brushed some errand strands of blonde hair back from Michelle's forehead. "An
hour is a really long time."
"A minute then," Michelle
negotiated.
"We can play much longer if
we go and eat first," Liz tried.
"It's only a minute," Max
said, beginning to cave.
"Yay!!" Michelle exclaimed, starting to bounce up and down,
since she knew that she had already won the argument.
Liz just smiled and shook her
head. Max gave her a helpless what-can-I-do shrug and started to walk into the
room. When he passed Liz, she whispered to him, so close that he could feel the
warmth of her breath against his ear. "Sucker!"
"It's only for a minute," Max
tried to defend himself.
"Right," Liz smiled. She
might not have been around children that much, but she just had to rely on
common sense to know that they wouldn't only play for a minute.
"Let's play house," Michelle
dictated, starting to rearrange among the teddy bears. Some ended up on the
floor and others on the bed.
"You can sit there," Michelle
pointed out the seats for Liz and Max.
Liz laughed quietly when Max
gave her an uncomfortable look before doing his best to sit down on the
miniscule wooden chairs. Liz was a little bit smaller so it didn't prove to be
as problematic to her as it was for Max.
"You are mommy and you are
daddy," Michelle said.
Liz could feel Max's eyes on
her when she smiled at the little girl. "And what are you going to be?"
"Pwincess,"
Michelle answered, like it was the most well-known fact in the world.
"But then we should be king
and queen instead," Max said.
"You'd like that, wouldn't
you," Liz teased.
Max looked at her, surprised
by the flirtatious tone of her voice.
"'Kay," Michelle agreed,
ignorant to the exchange going on between Max and Liz. She started to arrange
cups and plates on the table.
"We's having tea," Michelle explained, pouring
imaginary tea into Liz and Max's cups. Liz had to bit her lips to prevent the
bubbling laughter inside of her from erupting. The mixture of Max's slightly
embarrassed shifting and Michelle's bossy attitude was just too funny.
Liz pushed her cup closer to
Michelle to help the little girl hit the cup with the invisible liquid. "Thank
you," she said with British accent, easily getting into the role.
Michelle giggled and barely
had time to put down the pot before she was off, running to the other side of
the room. Max and Liz watched her amused as she searched through the drawers in
the bookstand. Picking out a piece of scissors she pulled out a drawing paper
and started to cut the paper into small pieces. Max asked her to be careful at
least four times during the minute she was cutting the paper. In a swirl of air
she ran back to the table and placed small pieces of paper on Liz and Max's
plates.
"Cookies," she said.
"Thank you," Max and Liz said
in unison and shared a private smile.
"And now the king is gonna work," Michelle said after they had spent a couple of
seconds "eating" the cookies. Eating constituted in holding the paper against
their lips, hiding it in their hands and pretending to chew, and then place the
pieces under the plates.
"Okay," Max said and started
to rise from the chair.
"And you have to kiss,"
Michelle said.
Max froze, the air in his
lungs stopped to flow. His eyes fell on Liz and quickly traveled to her partly
parted lips. He could see the surprise that he knew was matching his on her
face.
"Wh-what do you mean,
Michelle?" Max stuttered.
Michelle sighed dramatically
at Max's obvious ignorance. "You's
mawied. Daddy kisses mommy aaaaalll
the time. And they's mawied."
"Okay," Max said, not quite
knowing what else to say. He shifted his eyes to slowly look at Liz. She was
looking down at the table and he smiled mentally when he noticed how she was
once again turning the ring around her pinkie, a typical sign that she was
nervous.
"Hurry," Michelle said. "The
king has a lot to do twoday. He has to start early."
Max's heart sped up when he
watched Liz lick her lips before she lifted her head to look him directly in
the eyes. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Well, let's give the girl what she
wants."
She gave him a nervous smile,
a smile that made his heart soar with wonder and excitement.
"Yes, we probably should," he
said, looking pretty nervous himself.
Michelle was looking at them
in impatience. For her it was a simple game, for Max and Liz it was anything
but.
Max swallowed and then leaned
over the table. Liz smiled self-consciously before rising. Her eyes were
focused on his lips and she didn't think she had ever been this nervous before.
A chill of pleasure ran down her spine when one of Max's hands softly cradled her
cheek. She could feel the racing of her heart in her chest and she was having
difficulties to breathe. But it was a wonderful feeling; a feeling of
excitement and anticipation. Her suddenly highly sensitive skin could feel
every millimeter of the small circles Max's thumb was making against her cheek,
unconsciously calming her down. Then he leaned closer, his fingers moving
further back around her head, burying them into her hair and gently pushing her
head closer.
It felt like time stood
still, but after what seemed like an eternity, his lips softly touched hers.
Her body trembled at the contact. His lips were soft and his touch gentle. If
she had been able to think the kiss probably would've reminded her of her very
first kiss when she had been six. The tentativeness was the same, but certainty
of the kiss was very different. Compared to the six-year-old on the playground
Max knew what he was doing.
She pressed her lips harder
against his, opening her mouth slightly, the taste of him intoxicating her. By
its own free will her hand moved into his hair, trying to make him come closer.
Closer than possible.
"Hello? Hello? Heeeelllloooo?
King must go to work!"
Partly, Michelle's voice, in
true Isabel spirit, drifted through the cocoon they had formed around them. Max
pulled back, his eyes slowly opening, his breath ragged, the softness of her
lips forever imprinted in his mind. His eyes met her warm and dark eyes. She
was looking at him in awe, her chest heaving up and down with the inability to
breathe properly after the sensory overload. His hand slowly left her cheek,
his fingers lingering along her skin as he pulled back, the feathery touch
sending sparkles of electricity into her.
"You should go," Liz said
breathlessly, looking into his eyes intently. She couldn't stop looking at him.
"Yes," Max breathed.
"Now Liz is gonna pway with Michelle,"
Michelle announced.
Liz took a deep breath and
self-consciously brushed her hair away from her face. "Uhm,
maybe we should go and eat now, Michelle."
Michelle's expression fell
and the familiar pout settled over her rosy lips. "Do we have to?"
Liz looked up at Max, who had
stopped by the door. He was looking at her intently and the look he was giving
her was enough to make her legs go weak. She didn't think she would be able to
stand up.
Clearing her throat, she
said, "Max and I haven't eaten anything yet. We are hungry."
She looked up at Max to have
him confirm it and the air once again hitched in her throat, but this time for
a completely different reason than when he had been leaning forward towards her
only a minute ago. There was a difference in his eyes. When her eyes met his,
he looked away, avoiding her gaze. Her lips were still tingling from his touch,
but she knew with a painful certainty, just by watching him now, that something
had gone terribly wrong.
"Uncle Max?" Michelle asked
next to her, when Liz found herself without her voice. Liz couldn't stop
looking at him. The sudden coldness now surrounding his body was so tangible
that goose bumps were forming on her bare arms.
Max looked up then and looked
straight at Liz. But he could as well have been keeping his eyes closed. There
really was no one looking. Max wasn't there anymore. His eyes were dead. He
turned his eyes to Michelle and smiled, but even though he could fool a
five-year-old there was nothing real about that smile.
"Liz is right, Michelle. We
should get something to eat."
For some reason, Michelle
didn't object. It has often been claimed that children, as well as animals,
have some kind of sixth sense, enabling them to feel emotions in another way.
Something stopped Michelle from protesting, like she felt that it would be a
really bad idea.
"Okay," she mumbled and
started for the door.
Liz slowly started to walk
towards the door, her eyes traveling over Max's tense form as he was waiting in
the door frame, his eyes locked on Michelle. He ruffled Michelle's hair when
she passed, eliciting a giggle from her.
"Max?" Her voice couldn't
hide the trembles coursing through her. Fear.
Max looked up at her, his
face blank and emotionless. "Yeah?"
"What just-"
Max dropped his eyes and
shook his head, forcing himself to smile, as he interrupted her, "Michelle sure
has some weird ideas sometimes."
Liz looked at him closely,
feeling her heart dropping further and further down in her stomach. "I'm sorry
if-"
Max looked up at her again
and she swallowed. She was standing so close that she could feel his breath on
her face, but it felt as if he was miles away, on the other side of the world.
"Let's get something to eat."
Her hand moved, without her
being able to stop it, and dropped on his arm. He froze at the touch, fixing
his eyes on the point where her hand was touching the bare skin of his arm. His
eyes drifted close and he tried to fight the feelings her touch stirred inside
of him.
"I just want you to know
that…that I don't expect anything from you, Max. I won't…" He didn't hear her
deep intake of air to calm herself down. His attention
was still focused on the part of his arm where they were physically linked. "I
won't pressure you."
"It was just a game," Max
whispered and looked up. Her eyes were big and concerned, the emotions he saw
there, emotions for him, were so real that he had to avert his eyes again. "We
were just playing," he emphasized. "We were just playing."
Something broke inside of
Liz. She could feel it in her chest, like a sharp pain. It was like nothing she
had ever felt before. But she knew what it was. Hope. Her hope was falling
apart, one big part just plummeting down her stomach. Hope about a new chance
of life. She felt nauseous. She wanted to get out of there. She felt the
instinctive need to protect herself from getting hurt.
"Yeah," she whispered,
swallowing back hot tears, "It was just a game." The kiss didn't mean anything.
It didn't mean anything to Max. To her, it had been the most powerful moment of
her life. She would never forget it.
"I think…" She swallowed. "I
think that I have to go. I shouldn't disturb you anymore."
She needed to get out of here.
Maybe she was being ridiculous. It had only been a game. But she
couldn't stop the suffocating feelings from drowning her. She needed air.
"Okay," Max said softly. One
part of him wanted to prevent her from leaving, but the other part was
stronger. He couldn't have her here any longer. He couldn't control himself
around her.
Liz tried to get past him.
"I'm just gonna…"
He stepped away from the
doorway to give her room. "Sure."
He watched her as she
disappeared down the hall, towards the guestroom, and he took a deep breath.
But it didn't help. It didn't help him to get the air more easily into his
lungs. The solution to the pain spreading inside of him was easy and automatic,
after years of practicing it. With a final look down the hall, watching her
disappear into the room, he turned his head towards the stairs and pushed it
all to the back of his head. He mentally started to bury his heart again. The
sand of denial quickly covered the feelings Liz Parker had started to dig up.
TBC...
