February 8, 2016

Maggie woke slowly to the sound of whining close to her ear. She opened her eyes and found Pip sitting to her left, staring at her with his little black eyes. He did not open his mouth but she could hear him whine from deep inside his body.

"Hey there PipPup," she quietly greeted him. "What seems to be the trouble?" He laid his head down on her chest, over her heart, and whined again. "You need some scratches, buddy? Is that what it is?" She reached her right hand over and scratched him behind his ears, and he quieted a little.

He had only been with her for a few days, and she already loved him to bits. He was such a sweet little thing, always wanting to be right next to her wherever she was sitting. He hardly barked, was house trained, and loved to go for walks, and when they walked he never pulled but stayed right at her heels.

The first couple of nights, Dana had come over after work to see how they were getting along. She brought new chew toys and treats for him, but every time Pip was torn between investigating the new items and staying close to Maggie.

"Looks like you two are best friends already," Dana laughed as he took a treat from her and ran back to Maggie. "I'm glad he's taken to you so quickly, Mom."

Maggie was too, and she made sure to show him how thankful she was to have him in her previously quiet home. He had everything: treats, toys, belly rubs, ear scratches, and cozy place to lay down in front of the fireplace. She even made him dinner every night and not from processed can goods. Oh no, Pip got the real thing: chicken, turkey, or beef, and she often let him choose.

"Spoiled already," Dana had said, as she sat at the table one of the nights, shaking her head with a smile, watching Maggie cook him his own personal meal.

"As he should be," Maggie crooned, looking over at him. "Look how cute he is sitting there." Dana chuckled as she shook her head again and said she knew he was very cute.

"So, Pippy," Maggie yawned and smiled at him, as she lay in bed and looked into his eyes, petting his soft head. "What should we do today? Louise was talking about bringing the grandkids over again. You liked that last time, and they liked you. Should we give her a call?" He whined at her again, and she smiled. She turned and looked at the clock and saw it was 7:30, too early to call yet. She sighed, and closed her eyes.

"Five minutes, Pip, and we'll get up and let you out and have some breakfast," she yawned and stroked his back. His whining remained low and his eyes remained focused on hers. She smiled at him and then chuckled at how such a small dog could make her so happy.

Fifteen minutes later, she was up and in the kitchen, trying to get his breakfast for him, but he would not go outside to pee, no matter how she tried to cajole him. He stared at her and whined, refusing to leave her side, and when she set his bowl down he did not go near it.

"Pip, what's the matter with you?" she asked as she stood staring at him. "Usually, you gobble it right down. Are you not hungry? Are you okay boy? Maybe you want some treats instead? Nothing wrong with eating dessert first. Let's see what we got." She turned around, and he barked at her, running to her legs, standing up on his back legs to reach out for her.

"Pip, what has gotten into you?" she said above the noise of his barking. "Stop that right now. You … oh … wh … oh … the phone … help." She stumbled to her purse and pulled her cell phone out, dizzy and short of breath, a squeezing pain gripping at her chest.

Pip kept barking as she leaned over the dining room table and dialed 9-1-1. Her breath was coming out in bursts, the pain in her chest getting even tighter.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"

"I … help me … my heart …" Maggie panted out, the pain unbearable. Pip continued barking, and her legs crumbled underneath her. She fell to the floor, and her last coherent thought was of Pip's cold nose as he whined by her ear. He would be alone, and he had not even eaten his breakfast.

Darkness and quiet pressed around her, so quiet it could not be real. Were her eyes open? She turned her head and blinked her eyes. Yes, they were open, but she could not see in the darkness.

"Ma'am, can you hear me? She's waking up. Ma'am, just lie still. Do you know where you are?"

Bright lights, so bright it hurt her eyes, sirens so loud it was deafening. Her chest was so tight and there was a mask on her nose and mouth. She needed to say something, to get some words out. Pulling at the mask weakly, she tried to talk, her breath short.

"Charlie … please … Charlie," she panted out trying to get someone's, anyone's attention.

"Charlie? Is that your son?" A voice from somewhere asked.

"Charlie … Charlie … find … Charlie," she breathed.

And then … darkness and silence once again.

Hours passed, or it could have been seconds, she had no way of knowing. A weak light began to grow near her, and she walked toward it. When she reached it, she found she was in her dining room, the table empty. She looked around, wondering how and why she was there when she had been in an ambulance, at least she thought it was an ambulance.

She sat down and felt the table. It was so smooth, except the one spot with the scratch. This was her table, but it made no sense how she was home when she could remember the excruciating pain in her chest. She should be in the hospital. What was happening?

Footsteps approached and she looked to her left, following the sound. She stood to her feet in shock, as her wonderful Bill appeared on the other side of the table wearing his favorite pair of jeans, a blue Navy sweatshirt, and the biggest smile she had ever seen.

"Maggie Girl," he said with a shake of his head. "Look at my beautiful wife." He grinned, looking her up and down until his eyes steadied on her face.

"Bill? What are you doing here? What is happening?" she breathed out, her hands going to her chest in surprise.

"My love, I am so happy to see you, but I know you are confused," he said and gestured for her to sit down. She sank down, not taking her eyes off of him. He smiled, but then sighed and shook his head again. "There's no easy way to say this, and you know I've always been blunt and honest. Honey, you've had a serious heart attack." She stared at him, and she knew he was telling her the truth.

"Right now, you're in between the land of living and dead. It's your choice whether you move on or go back. I can't make the decision for you, or influence you one way or the other. It has to be your decision," Bill said smiling softly at her.

"I'm dying?" she asked, looking at him, knowing he would be honest.

"You are. But there is still hope, still a chance you could leave here, and that's your decision, Maggie Girl," he said quietly. She let his words settle within her.

"I had a heart attack at this table, at the table I love so much. So many memories attached to it," she said quietly, touching it with her hands. "I felt lightheaded, I couldn't catch my breath, and my chest …" she touched her heart, and he nodded. "The dog knew, my sweet little Pip. That was why he kept whining at me, not wanting to leave my side. Oh, of course he did. His name was fitting, just as it was in the book, he understood and felt things that others couldn't." She cried as she thought of the little dog who had become so attached to her so quickly. He must have sensed something right from the beginning.

"Mom," she suddenly heard Dana's voice from the end of the long table, a light illuminating her as though she were on a stage. Maggie turned her head and wiped her eyes. There was Dana, looking not at her, but at something Maggie could not see.

Maggie got up and moved closer to Dana, looking at her sad face. She wished she could hold her and tell her she was okay, that her father was here, and she loved her.

"Hi, Mom," Dana softly said, smiling sadly. "It's me, Dana. I've been where you are. I know that Ahab is there. And Melissa. But, Mom, I'm here. Bill Jr.'s here. And William. William's here. And Charlie … is here. Please, Mom, don't go home yet. I need you." She was crying, and Maggie started crying too. Her girl's heart was breaking, and she could not help her.

"Maggie?" Bill called to her. She turned to look at him, and he smiled sadly at her. When she looked back, Dana was gone and so was the light. She turned back to Bill with tears in her eyes.

"How am I supposed to leave her, Bill? I love her so much and she needs me. She's my baby girl." Maggie began to sob, and he moved closer to her, standing close enough to touch her without extending his hand to do so and remaining silent as she cried. As her tears slowed, she looked up at him.

"She's an adult, Bill, but so much has happened to her, and I need … I need to be there for her. So many things haven't been said, or done. I'm not finished," she pleaded with him. "Bill Jr. and his kids … And Charlie … he hasn't spoken to any of us in years. Years, Bill. How do I leave with that unresolved? How?"

"My Maggie," he whispered. "That is where your decision comes into the equation. It has to be what you want. When you're ready." She looked at him with her eyes full of tears and he smiled kindly at her. "I am not saying this with any hopes to persuade you, but I have missed you so much."

"Oh," she said, stepping closer and reaching out for him. "I have missed you every day, my love." She attempted to put her arms around him, but he stepped back, and she frowned at him.

"I'm so sorry my Maggie, we can't touch, not being on the same plane, so to speak," he explained quietly, his eyes on hers. "I would love to hold you, dance with you, but it doesn't work that way, not until you've made your choice." She nodded slowly, understanding but not at the same time.

"I'm not ready to do that yet," she told him and he smiled.

"I know."

"God, I must look so different to you," she said, suddenly aware that she was over twenty years older than the last time he saw her, and also dressed in the cupcake pajamas she bought on a silly whim. "I'm so old. So many more wrinkles."

He grinned at her and shook his head. "Not a chance," he chuckled. "You look just as beautiful as the day I met you."

"You are a terrible liar."

"I am, and that's how you know what I say is the truth," he laughed softly and she smiled.

"Hey, Bill," came Dana's voice suddenly again, and Maggie could see her illuminated, sitting at the end of the table, not facing her but looking into the distance. "What time is it where you are? What time is your flight from Frankfurt? Oh … I think you should get here as soon as you can. Oh, I can't ... How am I to know that? I-I won't answer as to whether she's going to die before you get here. Bill, yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also her daughter. Well, we'll keep her on life support. That's ... that's what she wanted. Yes. Mom and I talked about it after my experience in a coma. She said that she wanted us to do everything that we could to keep her alive. Her advance directive is on the Living Will Registry. Yes." And then she was gone, the darkness of the room around them again.

Maggie sighed and sat down, close by where Dana kept appearing, not wanting to miss her if she came back. Bill sat on the other side of the table and stared at her.

"She's an amazing woman, our girl," Bill said to her and Maggie smiled.

"She is an amazing, wonderful woman. You would be so proud of her, Bill," Maggie smiled.

"I am proud of her," he grinned and then they were quiet, simply staring at each other.

"How long do I stay in between like this?" she asked him, not sure how this all worked. "Is there a time limit?"

"Like when we used to have game nights with Louise and John? When he absolutely cheated and turned the timer back over when no one was watching?" Bill laughed.

"He was a cheater," Maggie laughed as she looked at him. He winked at her and she smiled.

"No, Maggie, there is no timeframe. It's your decision and yours alone. We'll stay here as long as you want," he said, smiling kindly and taking a breath.

"I miss you, Bill," she sighed. "I have missed you so much. I've been okay, but it's been so lonely on my own. You were taken from me too soon. We deserved to see our kids become parents, not just me. You should have been there to spoil them, teach them about ships and how to respect the ocean, safely handle weapons, and hear them call you Pop or something silly." She stared at him, her eyes sad at all he missed out on within their family.

"Oh, Maggie, my love," he said, shaking his head. "I've missed you too. Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But, I knew I would have been a burden on you and the kids if I had come back. I didn't want that for any of you, so as much as it hurt me, I went forward." He put his hands on the table and she did likewise, though they still could not touch. He smiled at her and she sighed. A light appeared beside her, and she knew Dana was coming.

"Nurse? Is it wise to administer a hypertonic saline to a cardiac arrest patient?" Dana asked beside her, and Maggie turned to look at her.

"Agent Scully, we had to confirm your mother's advance directive, and it indicates that she not be resuscitated if unconscious or requires artificial respiration. She amended it last year. It's signed and witnessed by two retired naval officers." A nurse's voice as she stood by Dana, handing her a folder. Dana looked confused by this new information.

"Oh, Bill, I need to tell her," she cried as she stood up, standing in front of Dana, trying to get her attention.

She took a breath, the dining room disappearing for a moment, and it felt like needles in her body and her chest was so heavy. Trying to open her eyes, she could not do it. She came back to the dining room and she started to cry.

"I need to tell her. I didn't get a chance. Oh, Bill," she cried as she sat down and Dana and the light disappeared again. She put her head on the table and cried, apologizing for not taking the time to tell her before why she changed it and for being unable to ease the pain she was experiencing now.

Bill sat down across from her again and stayed silent, letting her cry. They sat for a long period of time while she cried, and when she quieted, they simply sat in silence, her head on her arms.

"We have to extubate her. It's not necessarily termination, but we not only have to honor the law, Dana, we also have to respect your mother's wishes," came a voice, and Maggie looked up to watch Dana and the person who must be the doctor. Dana's head was down. The look on her face pained Maggie, for she looked lost and incredibly sad. Her phone vibrated, and she reached to answer it.

"Yeah," she said, her voice low and tired.

"I'm here," Maggie heard Fox's voice say through the phone, and Dana's head turned, the relief showing on her face as she must have seen him. Maggie looked in the direction she was looking but did not see him.

"Fox is there," she said, smiling with relief at Bill. "She's not alone anymore." Clasping her hands together, she put them against her mouth. "Oh, Bill, he's such a good man, and Dana loves him so much. I wish you'd gotten a chance to meet him. Well, maybe back then you might have not agreed he would be the one for Dana, but I always saw it. He is perfect for her, the one she's always needed."

"You've mentioned him many times, Maggie," he smiled and she smiled back slightly.

"Are you ready to extubate?" came a voice and the light again.

"Yes, Doctor."

"You have a stent on hand?"

"Removing the tube."

"On her next exhale."

"Ready?"

"No, I'm not ready," Maggie cried out. "Wait, please." She stood between the people who were talking around her, trying to get them to hear her. "Just a few more minutes, please." She looked up and saw Dana and Fox, standing together, far from her. The sadness on their faces broke her heart.

"Dana," she called out stepping toward her, but she was pulled back, surrounded by the doctors and nurses. "Please, let me go to her. Stop." She took a deep breath, and her head fell back, before she raised it again. The doctors, nurses, even Dana and Fox, were gone and only Bill was standing by her in the darkened room.

The table had grown and now it had more than twenty chairs on each side, pushing her away from where they had been appearing. "What's happening?" she asked, fearing she knew the answer, but also unsure. "I … I already made my decision." Bill nodded his head imperceptibly and she shook her head. "But I didn't think it would be so soon. I wanted more time."

"Don't we all, Maggie Girl?" he quietly asked.

"But …" she stopped and looked at him. He nodded and they stared at one another. "I made the decision, to go the way I wanted. I didn't want to force Dana to make that choice. Or Bill Junior. Or Charlie. Oh … my Charlie. He is my one regret. Letting the past hurt us when it's all so unimportant, and yet we held it, he held it …" she shook her head and closed her eyes. "I tried Bill. I reached out and he was … he didn't want to reconcile."

"Then you did all you could, honey. He was always the quiet one, but he also held a grudge like no one could, you know that about him," Bill said comfortingly. "Once he had it in his head, there was no changing his mind. You tried, I know you did."

Maggie nodded, but still it hurt her to her soul. She opened her eyes, and he smiled at her. A light began to build down far at the opposite end of the table. Maggie moved quickly toward it as she saw Dana and Fox sitting on separate sides of the table, both looking exhausted. Dana's head was down while Fox was watching her, and Maggie could see the worry on his face.

"Back in the day, did ... we ever come across the ability to just ... wish someone back to life?" Dana asked him quietly, raising her eyes

"I invented it. When you were in the hospital, like this," Fox said, causing Maggie to smile. He certainly had.

"You're a dark wizard, Mulder," Dana said, and Maggie stood beside her, staring at her beautiful daughter. So much pride and love for the woman she had become.

She heard Fox laugh, and she turned to look at him. So handsome, his face so full of love for Dana.

"What else is new?" he joked, his smile the one reserved only for her. Dana's cell phone started to vibrate on the table, and she answered it.

"Hello? … Charlie … Did Bill call you? Yeah. Um ... Mom asked for you. Charlie, can you just say something to her, please? Just anything. I don't know. Just... do what I can't do … bring her back to us … okay. I'll put it on speakerphone," Dana shakily said as she stood up. Maggie stared at the phone in disbelief. All this time, could it really be Charlie?

Dana held the phone out and Maggie waited, hoping against hope that it was him. "I've got Charlie here. He's on the phone. I know you can hear him."

Please let it be him. Please ...

"Mom? It's me. It's Charlie. I heard you were asking for me, so ... here I am, for once. What do you want to know? What's the big mystery?" Oh, God, it was him. Her boy, the one she prayed for and missed, after so long.

"Anything? Any reaction?" She heard Dana ask, and she knew now what her choice would be and what she would do. She knew.

"Well, her pulse rate quickened, but I didn't see her move," Fox said.

Maggie looked at Bill and she smiled, and he nodded, his answering smile wide and happy.

"I know what to do. I know what they need."

And then Bill was gone and this time she could open her eyes. Slowly, she blinked and felt the pain her body would be in if she stayed. The ache it would cause her and she knew. She saw Fox leaning in, his handsome face, full of such worry. She had seen enough of that from him, and so she smiled, trying to reassure him she was okay.

"Mom? She just opened her eyes," Dana said in a relieved but worried voice.

"Do you know where you are? Do you know your name?" Fox asked and she turned her head slightly towards him, reaching her hand out to him, and smiling when he took it. She loved him so much and knew he would understand what she was going to say. Her last words, the ones they needed to hear.

"My son ... is named William, too," she breathed out, her body already feeling weak from that small exertion. She saw him look at Dana, but then his eyes flicked back to her. She knew he understood.

So tired, so ready, she exhaled and left this earth. Opening her eyes, she saw Bill, now in a suit he wore to an anniversary dinner they celebrated years ago. His arms wrapped around her and he spun her around, laughing and crying.

"Oh my Maggie Girl, my Maggie," he whispered, spinning her around and holding her tight. When he set her down, she saw she was in the dress she wore to the same anniversary party. A beautiful blue dress she always loved and felt so beautiful when she wore it.

She held Bill's face in her hands and shook her head. "Oh, I have missed you so much," she whispered and he kissed her, before pulling her in his arms again.

This was where she belonged, with her soulmate, the one destined to love her forever. She knew Dana and Fox would be all right, and that little unremarkable house would be happy and whole once again. She knew Fox would figure out her message.

Charlie was her regret, and yet at the end, when she desperately needed him, he had been there. He had come back. William was Dana's regret and the secret pain she held inside. Fox would figure out how to find him and make things right, for both of them, but mostly for Dana. He would, and she knew it.

True soulmates … they had found each other over and over in each new life.

They would find him.