Chapter 25

Donna To The Rescue (of the dinner party)

Over the years, John had upgraded Donna-the-Robot, and now instead of looking like Asimo, she looked more like a black, CP3O from Star Wars. Sort of like Donna Noble wearing a close fitting, carbon fibre suit. Her hands were now sleek and elegant, looking like prosthetic human hands. The personality processor was still the same though, as it was part of Donna the House. Changing that would be like giving her a frontal lobotomy, and John fully respected the rights of sentient beings, organic or synthetic.

Donna Templeton sat at the dining table and took a swig of her Pinot Noir. 'You have a robot with my face on it.'

['It's not just yer face actually,'] Donna the Robot said.

'I told you to stay in the kitchen,' John hissed, trying not to be heard. 'Now look what's happened.'

['Oooh,'] Donna-the-Robot said sarcastically with her hands on her hips. ['My master has spoken . . . Isn't that just wizard.']

'Why has he got a robot that looks and sounds like me?' Donna asked her husband.

['I'll get to that in a minute Sweetheart,'] Donna-the-Robot told her. ['But right now, I've got to try and sort this mess out.'] She turned to John. ['You should have known better. You're supposed to have a bit of Donna in that noggin of yours,'] she said, tapping his forehead with a finger.

'I have,' John replied, swatting her finger away.

['Well try listenin' to her now and again. "Parallel universe". Like she's gonna believe that,'] the robot said.

'But it's true,' John pleaded.

['We know that, but she don't, and now you've got a wife in tears, and Donna with one of her "mares" on.']

'Oi!' Donna protested.

Donna-the-Robot put a finger up to stop her. ['Button it sister. I said I'll be with ya in a minute.']

Donna's mouth was wide open. She looked at Shuan, who had a big grin on his face, and her mouth snapped shut. Shaun had never seen his wife being told to "button it" before. It was priceless.

['Accessing psychology subroutine. Engaging counsellor mode,'] Donna-the-Robot said to herself. ['Now, you should have realised that "down-to-earth-Donna" would need to be able to know that she could trust you first. Her insecurities mean that she is unsure of her relationship with you. She's in awe of you. She idolises the pair of ya, and she thinks that someone as rich and famous as you would never really want to be her friend.']

John looked at Donna and remembered when he had been born. "All that attitude, all that lip, because all this time you think you're not worth it. Shouting at the world because no one's listening. Well, why should they?". He hung his head and sat at the table.

['And now Rose is devastated because she thinks that Donna thinks she's some rich bitch snob who loves to put the little people in their place.']

'I . . . I don't think that,' Donna said hesitantly.

['Not now. But you did a minute ago. Because I know you Donna. I am you. John didn't want you to see me until he'd explained the situation, and for him, that was quite astute.']

'Oi! In the room,' John said.

Donna-the-Robot gave him a lopsided smile before continuing. ['He was worried you'd think he was some kind of stalker, or that I was some kind of high tech sex doll . . . In yer dreams mate. But I'm actually a tribute to you, the you in another universe who saved all the universes.']

'So they're not makin' fun of us?' Donna said guiltily, realising that she may have made a terrible mistake.

Donna-the-Robot smiled at her. ['No, they're not. They are two of the most genuine people you will ever meet. Okay, they're not genuine about where they come from, but they were tryin' to put that right when it all went pear shaped. Now I know you don't believe them at the moment, but you can believe me. I'm a robot, and I can't lie. It's in my programming. So I'm goin' to tell you their story,'] she said, with her prosthetic fingers crossed behind her back. John gave her an incredulous look.

Donna turned to Rose, who was dabbing her eyes with a tissue. 'Oh Rose. I am SO sorry. When you started talkin' about parallel universes . . . well, I . . .'

'Went off on one,' Shaun finished for her. 'She gets that from her mum.'

'No Donna. Our Donna was right. We should have realised that you'd have difficulty believin' us,' Rose said.

'That doesn't excuse what I said though. What I accused you of . . . You'll never be able to forgive me for that. I won't be able to forgive m'self . . . I've blown it haven't I?'

Rose gave a single laugh and squeezed her hand across the table. 'No. You haven't blown it. You need to hear Donna out first, and then we'll talk, yeah?'

'Yeah,' Donna sighed.

['Well that's sorted then,'] Donna-the-Robot said. ['I'll serve dessert, tell the story, and see if I can rescue this dinner party.']

They all laughed, which broke the tension in the room and lifted their spirits, as Donna the Robot went to fetch the dessert.

'Ho, ho, ho. Banoffee Pavlova,' John said with glee as his dish was put in front of him.

'John has a thing about bananas,' Rose explained.

['So. As Rose was sayin', before she was rudely interrupted,'] Donna-the-Robot said, looking at Donna with a lopsided smile.

'Donna!' Rose reprimanded her.

['What? I was just sayin'. Anyway, this pair dropped into this universe on February 1st, 2007 . . .']

Donna-the-Robot told the story of how they had been at Tyler Mansion when the Cybermen attacked, how people had died, and how they defeated John Lumic before leaving this parallel world.

'So Jackie Tyler isn't yer mum?' Donna asked, trying to make sense of it so she could believe it.

'That one wasn't. My mum was in our universe at the time. Thank God. But it was still horrible, with her lookin' like my mum and knowin' what happened to her,' Rose explained.

'And Pete Tyler isn't yer dad?'

'He is now. My dad died when I was a baby, but Pete in this world eventually accepted me as his daughter. I think Mum bein' here had a lot to do with it.'

['Yer gettin' ahead of yerself,'] Donna-the-Robot said, and proceeded to tell them about the battle of Canary Wharf. How Pete brought Jackie and Rose to safety, and Rose had jumped back to be with "John". She didn't mention the Doctor at this point, it would have been a bit confusing. And then she told her how Rose had been pulled off the lever.

Donna put a hand to her mouth in horror. 'Oh Rose! What happened?'

['I'm comin' to that,'] Donna-the-Robot said, and continued. They breathed a sigh of relief when Pete jumped in and saved the day.

'So that's when you said John was undercover?' Donna queried. 'He was in another universe.' Rose nodded. 'You poor thing.'

They heard about Rose's worst day of her life, and Donna wept at that. And then came Donna Noble.

['If you'd thought about that John, you'd have remembered that Donna thought you'd kidnapped her and went to call the police,'] Donna-the-Robot reminded him.

'What happened,' Shaun asked.

['She stomped off to the doors and pulled 'em open. She realised she wasn't in Chiswick anymore, 'cos she could see a nebula in front of her, and the universe beyond. That was the only way she would have believed it. By seein' it with her own eyes.']

'An' that was just after you'd said goodbye to Rose? Thinkin' you'd never see her again?' Donna asked in a hushed voice.

'Yeah,' John sighed. 'In our universe it was Christmas day, two thousand and ten.'

'The day we got married,' Donna told them.

['Parallel worlds. Parallel events,'] Donna-the-Robot said, before telling them about Martha Jones, the other universe's Marla Jones. ['She had the hots for John,'] she told them. ['But he never even realised, 'cos he was still mourning the loss of Rose.']

'What happened?' Donna asked.

Donna-the-Robot showed a lopsided grin. ['She dumped him.']

Then she explained how he met Donna again, and how she helped him by just being a friend and lifting his spirits. And then came the grand finale, the Torchwood Dimension Cannon, the Time Beetle on Donna Noble's back, the Darkness, (No it wasn't a cloud of interstellar dust passing through the solar system. That was a Torchwood cover story.) and the Dalek Crucible.

['Now, here's the tricky bit,'] Donna-the-Robot said. ['In the other universe, John wasn't John. He was someone called the Doctor, and he had a spare hand . . . Long story. Don't ask . . . Anyway, Donna touched the spare hand container, and WHAM! Instant biological metacrisis. Or, to put it another way, skinny boy here was born from a fusion of the Doctor and Donna. Retaining all the memories from both, and a right mish mash of personalities. I'm surprised they haven't driven each other nuts.']

'So there's two of you?' Donna asked.

'Oh no,' John said with some pride. 'There's only one of me. I'm unique.'

['Special is the word a social worker would use,'] Donna-the-Robot said with a smirk.

Rose burst out laughing at the expression on John's face. 'To all intents and purposes, yeah, there's two of them. Side by side you wouldn't be able to tell them apart. But inside, John is human. He has all the same memories he had before, the same intellect, but he has . . . how shall I put it? He has a human outlook on life.'

'Nicely put wife,' John said with a fond smile.

'And that's when you appeared as a couple then? When the newspapers started to plaster you over the gossip pages?' Donna asked.

'Yeah. That was it, and you know the rest from there,' John said.

'It still sounds so . . . unbelievable,' said Donna.

['I think she needs to open those doors, John,'] Donna-the-Robot suggested in a sing-song voice.

Rose's eyes went wide. 'Oh, what a brilliant idea.'

'What is?' Donna asked.

John grinned. 'What time was your train home?'

'We were going to get the late one,' Shaun told him.

'Forget it,' John said. 'We'll give you a lift home.'

'Oh no. We couldn't ask you to drive all that way,' Donna told him.

'Who said anything about driving?'

With the meal finished, Rose had taken their guests through to the living room where they relaxed with another drink. John told them he was just going to fetch the children before it was their bedtime.

Donna was still mortified about her earlier outburst, and Rose kept trying to reassure her that it was an understandable mistake and that she should forget it.

'So where are the children this evenin' Rose? You've got three haven't ya?' Donna asked, trying to make conversation and build bridges that really hadn't collapsed in the first place.

'Yeah, that's right. They're over at Mum and Dad's bein' doted on,' Rose replied with a smile. 'Mum and Dad love havin' kids around them. They say it keeps 'em young at heart.' She felt them arriving in the TARDIS down in the basement. 'Ah, and here they are now, if I'm not much mistaken.'

'Blimey. That was quick,' Donna said. 'I thought your parents lived the other side of London.'

'They do . . . But John knows a shortcut,' Rose said with a teasing smile.

'Hi Mum,' the children called out as they bustled into the room.

'Hi. Did you have a nice time?' Rose asked.

'Yeah. We were playing Tony's new game on the Play-Box,' EJ told her.

Ricky the Cyberdog scurried in and made a beeline for Shaun and started sniffing around his shoes.

'Well hello there little fella,' he said, scratching behind his ear.

'Kids. Say hello to Donna and Shaun,' John said as he followed them into the room.

'Hello,' they said politely.

'Hang on,' EJ said. 'You look like Donna the Robot.' He turned to his father. 'Is this the lady you modelled her on?'

John ruffled EJ's hair. 'Yep. That's her . . . Well, this universe's version of her.'

'You found her then Dad. That's brilliant,' Juleshka said with a beaming smile. 'Mum and Dad talk about you all the time.'

Donna smiled. 'Well I don't think it's me they're talkin' about. I don't think I could live up to that legend.'

'I bet you could,' Jason said. 'Dad says none of us know what we can achieve until we're put to the test.'

Donna gave a little laugh. 'Wise words young man,' She smiled at Rose. 'Your children are adorable, Rose.'

Rose returned her smile. 'Thank you. We are very proud of them. And it's time for their bedtime.' She turned to her children. 'Come on kids. Time for bed. Say goodnight to Donna and Shaun.

'Goodnight Donna. Goodnight Shaun.'

'Goodnight.'

Rose shepherded them out of the room, and returned a few minutes later. The evening continued pleasantly, until Donna thought it was time for them to be going. Although she was really enjoying being in the presence of her heroes, despite her earlier faux pas, she didn't want to overstay her welcome.

'Well, thank you both for a wonderful evenin',' Donna said as she finished her drink. 'Even if I did try an' ruin it.'

John and Rose laughed. 'I've told you, it's water under the bridge,' Rose told her. 'I've forgotten it already, and I hope you will too.'

Donna smiled. 'Thank you Rose. So we'd better be goin'. We don't want to overstay our welcome.'

'You can stay as long as you like,' John told them.

'That's very kind,' Shaun said. 'But we'd better get off.'

'But I'd like to return the favour,' Donna said hesitantly. 'I mean, if you'd like . . . I don't suppose you would . . .'

'We'd love to come to yours Donna,' Rose said as she hugged her, and then thought she'd been a bit presumptuous. 'You were gonna invite us to dinner, right? I haven't just invited us have I?'

Donna laughed. 'Yeah. It's a dinner invite. Please say you'll come.'

'Of course we'll come,' Rose told her.

'That's sorted then,' John said. 'Taxi for Templeton.'

'You really don't have to give us a lift,' Shaun said.

'Oh trust me. You wouldn't want to miss this ride,' John said mysteriously.

'I'll get your coats,' Rose announced, and went down the hallway to the front door. 'Donna. We're just giving Donna and Shaun a lift home. Keep an eye on the kids for us.'

['Okay Rose. No problem,'] Donna-the-Robot called from the kitchen.

Shaun and Donna were about to walk to the front door, but were puzzled when Rose walked back towards them, and John opened a door under the stairs, which was opposite the dining room door.

'This way,' John called out, as he started to descend a set of stairs which led to the basement.

'Where's he goin'?' Donna asked Rose. 'Have ya got a tube station in the basement or somethin'?' It was the only thing she could think of that made any sense.

Rose snorted a laugh. 'No, nothing like that. This is way better.'

The lower ground storage vaults under the house had originally been converted into a gymnasium, workshop and laboratory. However, the gym had been extended transdimensionally with a piece of TARDIS coral to include an olympic sized swimming pool. In the corner of the workshop, was the TARDIS. John walked up to it and put the key in the lock.

'Ooh, let me go first Love,' Rose said, and kissed him on the cheek as she squeezed past.

'What are you two up to?' Donna asked.

'Come and see,' Rose called from inside.

Donna looked at Shaun. Did Rose's voice have an echo in that small box? She shrugged her shoulders and stepped through the door. John waggled his eyebrows at Shaun.

'No-way!' they heard Donna say from inside.

Shaun was about to step in, when his wife bumped into him as she backed out, open mouthed. She leaned to the right and looked down the side of the TARDIS. She stepped to her left and looked down that side as well. When she had moved to the left, Shaun stepped inside.

'Oh-my-God! What is this place?' he asked as he looked up at the white marble coral struts, the cornice mouldings and the oak panelling.

Rose had put their coats over the handrails around the central console, and had her bum resting on it with her arms and legs crossed. She had an enormous smile on her face. She never got tired of this.

'It's called the TARDIS,' she told him as Donna and John came through the door.

'This-is-BONKERS!' Donna said, turning in a circle as she looked at the interior. Rose laughed as she watched them.

John grinned and ran up the ramp to the console. 'Right. All aboard for Dunwich.'

The pair of them orbited the console, setting coordinates and preparing for flight. Shaun and Donna walked up the ramp to join them, and watched in wonder as the Time Rotor started grinding up and down.

'So this room is inside that wooden box?' Shaun asked, trying to get it straight in his head.

'That's right,' Rose said with a grin as she looked up from the console.

'If I could design a building like this, I could make a fortune.'

'Sorry my old mate. You can't build a TARDIS. They have to be grown.'

Donna was spellbound as she watched the Time Rotor and listened to the wheezing, grinding noise. It made her feel tingly inside, like she used to when she was a child at Christmas.

'What's it doin' that for?' she asked.

'It's the engine,' Rose told her.

'Engine? Is this some kind of ship or somethin'?'

'Best ship in the universe,' John said. 'It was a ship like this that Donna Noble used to travel in.'

'And me,' Rose reminded him. 'And Martha, Sarah Jane, Susan. All of them. This is the Old Girl's daughter.'

'Daughter. Grown. You make it sound like it's alive,' Shaun said.

Rose stroked the Time Rotor housing. 'She is alive. She's like a sister to me.'

'So we're travellin' now?' Donna asked, trying to work out exactly how it all worked.

'Yep,' John replied.

'Through a tunnel under London?'

Rose laughed. 'Nah. It sort of disappears from one place an' reappears somewhere else.'

'Oh, of course it does. I was bein' daft.'

The pitch of the Time Rotor changed, and John and Rose started their dance around the console again. There was a gentle clomp, and the Time Rotor stopped.

'Ooh look,' Rose said as she glanced at the console. 'We've got a message from Aeona.'

Donna glanced at the concentric circles and lines on the screen. 'That's a message is it? It looks like the design on your top.'

'That says "You have one message in your inbox". It's Gallifreyan. This says "Rose",' Rose told her, holding her stop stretched out.

'What does Aeona say?' John asked, walking around to read it with her. Rose opened the message.

'She believes that she's found all of the reported xenogenesis cases. All the details are in an attached file,' Rose read.

'Great. We can get started on that tomorrow and sort out a plan of action,' John said enthusiastically, before turning to Donna and Shaun. 'You two had better get your coats on. It's a bit nippy out there.'

'You mean we've reappeared in Dunwich?' Shaun asked.

John held is arm out towards the doors. 'See for yourself.'

They shrugged their coats on, and walked down the ramp, where they pulled open the doors. Outside, instead of a workshop, there was darkness, highlighted with the blue / white light of LED street lamps. Off to the right was the Sickle and Scythe Inn, in front of them was the Green, with its five elms and white-railed pond. And to the left were a row of cottages, one of them being Donna and Shaun's.

They started to giggle as they stepped out into the cold night air. 'We've travelled from your basement, to our village in the matter of minutes,' Donna realised. 'That-is-brilliant.'

John put his arm around Rose's shoulders, and she slipped her arm around his waist as they stood in the doorway, backlit by the TARDIS interior.

'You take care you two, and we'll see you again soon,' John said.

'You take care too,' Donna said.

'Oh, Donna. Give me a call about dinner and we'll check our diaries,' Rose said.

'Definitely. Good night.'

'Good night.'