Chapter 25
"Better! That was so much better Madge!" Rory calls out from bellow the tree I just scaled.
"Thanks! Now time my decent. I may have to get out of a tree just as quickly as I need to climb one." I call down to him as I begin swiftly manuvering my way back down through the branches of the tree.
"Not bad either. You could jump from about right there if you had too instead of climbing all the way back down. Like, if you needed to get down faster or something. Just make sure you know what's below you before you jump. Look for flat surfaces." He says pointing at a branch close to the bottom of the tree but still up high enough that if I jumped instead of continuing to climb down, I'd save myself a few seconds. And sometimes a few seconds could make all the difference.
"Alright, enough with the trees. Your times are way better over the past few days. We need to move on to harder stuff." He says, marking my times in his notebook. We've been coming out into the woods after he gets out of school every day for the last two weeks. We don't stay out here long. Neither of us wanting to be out here after dark. Not without Gale anyway. I know I'll have to work on that, being comfortable in the woods in the dark without the safety of Gale by my side but for now I'm putting it off as long as I can. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie-jeebies.
"Sure. We can head back home. Start a new skill tomorrow." I tell him, wiping my dirty palms on the butt of my overalls.
"Okay. I think we need to work on endurance next. Make sure you can build up your stamina. I'll see what I can come up with for that." He says, still jotting things in his notebook. It was his idea to keep a notebook, record my progress as we train. And I think it's a good one. I like being able to look at it and actually see that I'm getting better. While learning plants had come easily for me, the physical training had not been so easy. Thankfully, Rory was a patient trainer. He never yelled at me or got frustrated. Just calmly pointed out where I was faltering and how I could fix it. While Gale was known for having a quick temper, Rory was known around the Seam for his patience. And I was thankful for that. Couldn't ask for a better brother in law.
After we cross back through the fence, he heads to his house and I head home to get dinner ready for Gale. He's been so exhausted after work lately that all he's done is eat and go straight to bed. He's barely said more than a few sentences to me before sleep overcomes him. I'm not sure what happened to make it change like this. I mean, he's always been tired after work, it's no secret how grueling his job can be and he's always been tired after work, but lately his exhaustion seems much more exaggerated. And the exhaustion isn't doing his mood any favors either. I've been tempted to ask him about it, to try and find out if something's going on at work, but I've held back given his moodiness. He seems stressed, more so than usual. So, instead of questioning him about it, I've been trying to come at him from the other angle. I've worked hard to be less of a burden to him. I know I'm a big source of any worries he has so I've tried to not bother him with things. Like my hand being infected after our weekend at the lake. He never even knew about that. I'd intended to tell him, it wasn't as if I'd intended to hide it or anything. The day I'd discovered it to be infected was also the day I'd had lunch with my father and even though I hadn't asked him to, he'd purchased an ointment from the Capitol and had Mabel bring it to me that evening. At first, I'd been hesitant to use it but Tripp was here giving me a cooking lesson and he pointed out how stupid it would be for me not to use it. Said I needed my hand to heal as fast as possible in order for me to really delve into my training and that if Capitol meds were given to me, I should use them. When he put it that way, it was hard to find a reason not to use it. So I had used it. And within hours my hand showed no signs of infection. And a couple days later it was totally healed. And I was thankful Tripp had persuaded me to use the ointment. I held back on sharing all that with Gale because the same day the medicine arrived was the first night he came home grumpy and exhausted. I was worried that he'd feel insulted about my father paying for the medicine so I opted to leave well enough alone. If it ever comes up, I'll tell him. I'll explain it all. But for now, I think I'll leave it be. For now, I'll just focus on trying to alleviate any stress he has and make him happy.
Tonight, I hear Gale washing up outside at the rain barrel right as I'm dishing up our supper. I take a deep breath, hoping he's had a better day today. The hard days eventually have to get better, don't they? I quickly put bowls of soup on the table and wait for him to come in. It only takes one look at him to know that today will not be any different than the day before or the many days before that. Still, I flash him my best smile and greet him with a peck on the cheek as he sits down to eat. I don't push him to make conversation. I just join him at the table and make the occasional comment about how my training is going or about my garden. He nods or mumbles in response, as if he's listening but really I know he hasn't heard much of anything I've said. Doesn't matter though. His eyes are bloodshot and dark circles underline them. I think his muscles must be aching too because he winces ever so slightly as he gets up from the table.
"Dinner was delicious. I'm pretty beat, think I'll turn in if that's okay with you." He says giving me a weary smile. My heart sinks a little. I know he's tired but I miss having quality time with him after dinner, before we go to bed. I barely get to talk to him anymore, much less anything else.
"No problem. Go ahead. I'm not really tired yet though. Think I'll go for a walk." I say, making a concerted effort to sound cheerful. I smile something close to what used to be known to me as my illusion smile. The fake one I always use when I don't want anyone to see through me. It was never for Gale though, just the Capitol. This is new with Gale. I just can't bare the thought of him seeing that my feelings are beginning to be hurt. For a split second, I think he can tell it's my illusion smile but then he doesn't mention it, so I think maybe he didn't notice. Probably too tired to notice. He comes over, plants a light kiss on the top of my head and then nods, as if to say goodnight, and heads into the bedroom. I swallow the lump forming in my throat and leave our little house. It's nice out, not so cold you need a coat but definitely a sweater. And the night air feels refreshing in contrast to the stuffy air from the house. I hadn't really planned on a walk so I don't really have a destination in mind when I start walking. I just walk. One foot in front of the other. Crunch of the gravel beneath my boots. And then I find myself at the clearing. I go out to the center of it, lying back in the grass so I can look up at the stars. It's damp from the night air but I don't mind. I just tug my sweater tighter around me and stare up at the stars. There's something so calming about looking at stars and right away I'm glad I came here.
How did things suddenly get so tense? When did Gale start being so tired that he can't even kiss me on the lips or utter the actual words goodnight before he goes to sleep? Well, not when so much as why would actually be the question. Had I done something wrong? I search my mind but in the end, I know that can't be it. He doesn't seem angry with me. He just seems unreasonably exhausted. And even though he's getting more sleep now than he has for most all of our relationship, it doesn't seem to be helping any. I close my eyes and take several deliberate breaths. Slow, deep breaths. It's a relaxation thing I used to do when I felt the weight of the Capitol crushing down on my shoulders. It helps. The worry about Gale is still there but I don't feel so crushed by it. I lie here under the stars a little longer but end up getting sleepy so I make myself get up. I don't want to fall asleep out here.
As I walk back home, I look at all the Seam houses, wondering if all the mine workers were already in bed, physically spent from another grueling day beneath the earth. Maybe this is just how it is out here. Maybe Gale is just falling into the routine of life out here. Maybe before, when he still had energy to devote time to me at the end of the day, maybe that was over. Maybe that was like a honeymoon sort of phase. I climb the steps of our house, a sadness filling my chest. I sincerely hope it isn't over, that it wasn't a phase. God, please don't let it have been a phase. If anything has to be a phase, please let it be the exhaustion. Inside the house it's dark and I don't want to wake Gale by turning on a light so I quietly feel my way through the main room and into the bedroom. I untie and slip off my boots and peel off my clothes, letting them fall to the floor. I pull back the blankets and crawl under in beside Gale, who's fast asleep, snoring ever so softly. I roll over on my side so I'm facing him and gently reach my hand out, stroking the dark hair that sweeps across his forehead. I want to wake him, want to talk to him, want to know what I can do to fix whatever caused this change. I lean over and press my lips to his forehead, lightly kissing him. It takes awhile to fall asleep but eventually I manage. I don't even hear Gale leave the next morning. When I wake up, he's already at work. All his time hunting has taught him to be very quiet in his movements. I almost never hear him as he moves about the house in the mornings.
I sigh and climb out of bed. Maybe I'll go into town and talk to Mabel. She was married to a mine worker, even if it was briefly. Maybe a little wisdom from her can give me some perspective on the situation. Help me see it from a different angle. And if I'm going to my old hose to chat with Mabel, I may as well take advantage of the tub there too. Ever since that day I took the bubble bath, I've taken most of my baths there, just about every other day. It's just so much easier. So much more relaxing. The wash tub here will suffice when needed but when I want to relax and stretch out my legs, my father's house is the place to go. I throw on a dress and slip on a light sweater, pull my hair back with a band.
It's chilly today and the sky is cloudy, grey. The seasons are changing and it'll be full on cold in a few weeks. I've always liked the colder seasons. Not so much winter, more of the fall weather. Love seeing the trees turn varying colors of yellow and red. Love the brisk air and the smell of chimney smoke. It's been my favorite part of the year as long as I can remember. I wonder if Tripp can teach me how to bake a pie? Mabel always makes apple pies in the fall and the smell of simmering apples and cinnamon has long since been one of my fall favorites. Thanks to Tripp's help, I've gotten much more comfortable in the kitchen. I'm still not ready to brave new recipes on my own but overall, I've come a long, long way with my cooking skills.
At my old house, I find Mabel in the dinning room, feather duster in hand. She's gotten used to me coming by more now and seems less surprised to see me but still just as welcoming.
"Morning Mabel! I thought I'd come by and take a bath and then maybe have some tea with you before I head back home."
"Sounds good dear. See you in a bit."
I head up to my room and strip off my sweater and dress and turn on the faucet, letting the large tub fill with hot water. I uncork a bottle of peppermint bath oil and pour a generous amount into the water. Just before I step into the tub, I notice my bathroom scale in the corner and decide to weigh myself. My clothes have been feeling a bit looser and I know I've lost a little weight. It was to be expected though given the drastic changes in food. Here my meals were plentiful, rich and heavy. In the Seam my meals are much smaller, very plain, and offer little variety. Mostly just a lot of vegetables, soups and stews. Occasionally adding in meat at dinner time if we have it. No decadent desserts, no extras. I step onto the scale and watch as the needle on the dial waves and then comes to a rest on 102. I rear back in surprise. I knew I'd lost weight but didn't realize it'd been so much. I've lost a good ten pounds or so. And fast too. Sheesh! No wonder my clothes have been a little looser. Well, I'm getting used to living in the Seam now so maybe my body will adjust and the weight loss will hopefully level off. At least no one has noticed.
I soak for awhile in the peppermint infused water and it's only when the water goes cold that I step out. I slather myself with peppermint scented lotion and wander into my closet. Since I've been bathing here more frequently, I've been switching out my clothes with what I left in my closet here. Mabel of course launders the dirty clothes I leave behind after my bath and then hangs them back in my closet. I feel bad for creating more laundry for her, especially since I'm no longer her responsibility, but when I mentioned it to her she waved me off as if it was of no matter to her. I select a long, slender black skirt and a soft, lightweight knit cranberry colored sweater. The sweater is clingy with a scooping neckline. My stylist had brought it with her when she came for the wedding. Insisted I needed to maintain my style, even if I was moving to the Seam. I hadn't brought it to the Seam with me because it just seemed to dressy. Actually, all my clothing seems too dressy these days. I desperately wish I had more pants and less dresses. My overalls are about worn completely out from wearing and washing them so often. After I'm dressed, I twist my hair up into a knot on top of my head and then head back downstairs in search of Mabel.
I find her in the kitchen, already preparing a pot of tea for us. The kettle whistles right as I enter the room.
"Perfect timing!" I say with a smile as I pull out a chair and sit down.
She smiles and pours each of us a cup before sitting down herself. She's already put a plateful of tea cookies between us and I take one right away.
"Mabel, I was hoping I could confide in you. Perhaps get some advice about something."
"Mmmhmm." She nods as she takes a sip from her teacup.
"It's Gale. He's acting odd. He's been extremely exhausted lately. Every night he comes home, eats and then literally passes out on the bed. He's too tired to talk, too tired to even move really. It seems to have happened so suddenly and I don't know what could have happened to cause it. I know his job is difficult and he's always been tired after work but it seems to have gotten worse."
"Well honey, the mines can really wear you out. It's likely that he's just been working extra hard what with having a family to provide for and all. And it's possible you just didn't notice before because you didn't live with him."
"No. He wasn't this tired even when we first got married. This is definitely something new." I insist.
"Well, when my Henry was in the mines, it wore him out too. He'd come home to me, too tired to even eat some nights. That was normal for him though. He was part of a different crew than what your Gale works on though."
"Different crew? They have different types?" I spurt out in surprise. I'd never known there was a variety. Never actually thought about it anyway. Just assumed it was all the same down there.
"Yes. I believe Gale works on a standard crew. That's usually where they start men out. Henry worked on a crew that went deeper down into the mines. He only spent one day on the standard crew before he got switched. Only lasted a short while before it was the end of him." She says, tearing up at the end.
I hesitate to go on but do it anyway. "Is it harder if you're down deeper? I'm sorry, I don't know anything about mining."
"It is. The work itself is the same but the conditions are much worse. It's darker, the air is thicker, the crawl spaces tighter. Sweltering hot."
"Oh, I see."
"No need to worry your pretty little self about that though. As far as I know, Gale's on a standard crew. My neighbor Thom is on his crew I think."
"Yes, he and Thom are friends. And Gale hasn't said anything about having to work a new crew so you're probably right."
"Really, just be patient. He's just working hard is all. Maybe do something to remind him know that you love him. I'm sure everything will be fine."
"You're probably right. Thank you for talking to me about this. I know it isn't easy for you to talk about Henry."
"It's fine, I don't mind. Just makes me miss him is all." She says with a terrible sadness in her eyes. I reach over and lovingly place my hand over hers for a moment before I stand. She responds with a smile but the sadness doesn't leave her eyes.
I leave and head back home to my house. As I make the bed and sweep the floor, I try to think of loving things I can do for Gale. He loves his family. Loves hunting. Loves being in the woods. Loves me. But what can I do? If he was doing something for me, it would be to surprise me with flowers or a trip to the lake. Neither of those are options for me. Think Madge, think. What can I do? Posy. I need Posy. He loves that kid more than anything. I'll get Hazelle to let me borrow Posy for the evening and then we can meet Gale as he exits the mines after work. I haven't gone to meet him in awhile and it would be an added surprise if I had Posy with me. Yes, it's perfect. That's what I'll do. Posy and I can meet him and walk back home and have dinner and then he can go on to bed and I'll take Posy home. It'll show him that I'm thinking about him and won't keep him from getting the extra sleep he's been needing. He'll love it.
When Rory comes by after school we sit down at the table and he goes over an outline he's prepared.
"See, I think you're stamina is lacking. Like you won't be able to run long distances or keep going on little sleep and food." He explains. "We need to establish a baseline of what your abilities are now and then gradually build on that. You'll need to start running, everyday if you can. Short distances first, then add a little each day."
"Okay, I can do that. What else?"
"There's a few exercises, sit ups, push ups, that sort of thing, you can do here at home too. Repeat them over and over. It'll be good for your body to be used to working hard."
"I can do that too. Let's go out in the woods tomorrow. We'll establish my baseline for running and I'll start with the exercises tonight."
"You don't wanna go out there today? Right now?" He asks.
"Not today. I'm actually about to head over to your house in a little while and steal Posy. Thought I'd take her into town with me to meet Gale as he gets off work."
"Posy will freaking love that. She's been awful whiney lately about never seeing Gale."
"I know how she feels." I mutter under my breath. As soon as I do it, I realize it was a mistake. I do not need to pull Rory into my worries for Gale.
"What?" He says, having heard me even though I muttered.
"Nothing. So, you want to meet by the fence tomorrow?" I say quickly as I try to steer a subject change.
"Yeah, fence is fine. But about what you said, is something wrong with you and Gale?"
"I shouldn't have said anything and it's really not a big deal. I just hate that he's working such long hours. Miss him is all." I say, downplaying as much as possible.
He nods but doesn't push the conversation any further. I don't know if he believes me but I'm thankful he lets it go. "Well, I'm heading home now. Wanna walk with me?"
"Sure." I say with a smile. We make the short walk over to the Hawthorne house. Vick is outside pulling clothes off the line and Rory immediately goes to help him. I let myself inside, knocking once as I enter. Hazelle is busy over the stove and Posy is sitting on a small stool in the corner. Facing the wall, like she's in trouble.
"Hi!" I call out as I enter. Hazelle turns and smiles "Oh hello Madge." Posy turns and sneeks a peek at me but one glance from Hazelle in her direction and she's back facing the wall again.
"Someone in trouble?" I ask, trying not to laugh.
"Someone has been awful sassy lately and needed some time to think about her manners." Hazelle says with a raised eyebrow.
"I see. Well I guess this wouldn't be a good time for me to steal her for the evening?" I ask quietly enough so that Posy can't make out what I'm asking.
"Madge, if you want her, I'd love for you to take her off my hands for awhile. She's been driving all of us crazy for days now." Hazelle says, looking delighted that I'm wanting to take Posy.
"I'd love to. Thought maybe I'd take her with me to greet Gale when he gets off work and then she could have dinner at our house. I'll bring her back after that."
Hazelle hugs me and kisses my forehead and then gestures towards Posy.
"Hey Posy? How would you like to come hang out with me for a little while?" I ask her.
"Can I Momma?" She whines.
"If you stop that whining, yes."
"I'll stop! Let's go!" She shrieks, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door without a second thought.
We walk back to my house where she helps me get dinner on the stove. Really we're just reheating leftover stew I canned from a batch I made last week but that's more than fine. She seems excited just to help with that. She isn't whiney or sassy at all. Talks nonstop. Before we go to meet Gale, I take out my makeup bag and do our makeup. Just a little gloss for her but she responds with such happiness. She really is a girly little girl but I think being with me is the only time she ever gets to let that side of her out. We walk into town and get to the boulder outside the mines just as the whistle blows and the first few men start coming out. We wait a little while as more and more men pour out of the mines. Still no Gale. I see Thom and the rest of the guys from Gale's crew and I stand up, sure Gale is right behind them. Only he isn't. I'm confused and I wave Thom over.
"Hey Madge. You waiting on Gale?"
"Yeah, we are. Where is he?"
"Oh, his crew is one of the last ones up. Shouldn't be too much longer before he's out."
"His crew? Aren't you on the same one?"
"Uh, not anymore. He didn't tell you?" Thom answers, scratching his head in surprise, as if he thought I already knew.
"No, he didn't. Thanks Thom, have a good night." I tell him. My jaw locking shut as I clench my teeth. How could he switch and not tell me? And suddenly, it's all clear. This is why he's so worn out. He moved to a deep mining crew. I'm livid but don't want to let Thom or Posy see that so I wave Thom off and wait patiently with Posy at my side. We wait another 20 minutes before Gale appears. The crew he exits with looks much like he has in recent days. They all look weary. Like even walking is a challenge for their tired bodies. He spots us and his tired features light up just a notch as he makes his way over to us.
"Well if it isn't my two favorite girls in the whole wide world!" He exclaims.
"Gale!" Posy shrieks, jumping up and down, clapping her hands in excitement. He reaches down and ruffles the hair on top of her head and leans down to kiss the top of mine. Our eyes meet and he knows right away that I know. And he knows I'm not happy. Guilt washes over his face and I shake my head as if now isn't the time to discuss it. We walk, hand in hand with Posy, back home. Over dinner Posy thankfully makes enough conversation for all of us so that Gale and I don't have to speak to each other much. I'm so confused and mad right now that it's probably for the best that I don't speak to him. I need to cool down some first. After dinner, I have Posy say goodnight to Gale and tell her it's time to go home. Gale offers to walk her home but I tell him to go on to bed, that I can handle it.
Once I've dropped Posy back off at her house I don't feel like going home yet. I need to think first so I head over to the clearing. Once there, I lay down in the center of it and gaze up at the night sky again. It's chillier tonight than it has been other nights and the dampness of the grass I'm laying in only makes it worse. I hug my arms around myself in an attempt to keep warm. I can't for the life of me figure out why Gale would keep something like this from me? Is it because it's more dangerous deeper down in the mines? That he didn't want me to worry? Did he not think I needed to know something like that? And did he think I wouldn't worry about how tired he's been? Did he think I wouldn't notice the changes in his behavior? I would have understood. Would I have worried? Of course, but I wouldn't have been mad. Not like I am right now. A gust of wind sends shivers through me and I sigh, knowing I need to head home.
When I walk in the front door I startle to find a wide awake Gale waiting for me at the kitchen table. I hadn't expected him to be awake. Thought surely he'd be fast asleep.
"Hey." He sighs, nodding to the chair in front of him for me to sit down.
I sit down and look at him, waiting for him to explain. Waiting for him to make this make sense to me. He waits and then finally begins speaking. "I wasn't trying to keep it from you that I got switched to a new crew. It just never came up."
"It never occurred to you?" I ask sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
"What's the problem? It can't possibly be that big of a deal that I didn't tell you about a crew switch." He spits back at me, un-amused by my attitude.
"The switch itself? No, not a big deal. The fact that you wouldn't think to tell me that you got moved to a more dangerous area of the mines, yes-it's a big deal. And how about the fact that I've been going crazy trying to figure out what in the world happened to make you so exhausted that you can barely speak to me at the end of the day, much less spend any time with me?"
"You're mad that I haven't spent enough time with you? That's what you're mad about?" He asks as if it's the most absurd thing he's ever heard.
"No. I'm mad that you don't see how I should have known about your job. Mad that you're mocking me now." I say as I scoot my chair back from the table and angrily walk to the bedroom. If he can't take me seriously about this, I can't talk to him right now. In the bedroom, I pull out a nightgown and begin changing into it. I've just crawled into bed and turned down the oil lamp when he comes in. I don't acknowledge him. Just keep my back to him and close my eyes.
"Madge, I think it's awful funny how you can be mad at me for not telling you about work when you yourself haven't told me about a few things." He says. I roll over and sit up, finding him standing in the doorway, light streaming through from the kitchen behind him.
"What are you talking about?"
"How about the fact that you've been going home to your father's house to take baths? Or about how you let him buy you medicine for your hand?"
"I don't see how either of those things affects you the way that the dangers of your job would affect me." I say indignantly. How did he know about all that?
"Of course you don't see it. How could you?"
"Well then explain it."
"It's just proof that I can't provide for you. That I can't give you what you need and it makes me mad as hell! You think I like having my wife go behind my back like that? You think that makes me happy?" He shouts, banging his fist on the door frame.
"You have no idea what you're talking about!" I yell back as tears stream down my face. "It was never about you not being able to provide for me! The medicine for my hand? I didn't ask for that. My father sent it over even after I told him I didn't need it. I wasn't even going to use it but it seemed stupid not too. I needed my hand to heal so I could get on with my training. And as far as my using the bathtub at my old house, who cares? If I want to stretch out and relax, I should be able to do that. I wasn't aware that living here meant I wasn't allowed to go back home."
"Allowed to go back home? Of course you can go back home. Go whenever the hell you want! Let your father and Mabel continue to take care of you. To feed you and buy you stuff. Let them keep taking care of you."
"Stop it Gale."
"Fine by me." He says and he turns and leaves the house. Leaving me sitting in bed, teary eyed and hurt. How could he not see my point? How could he not understand? And who cares where I take a bath at? It wasn't anything to do with Gale not being able to provide for me. I just missed my tub is all. And while I had been hesitant to use the medicine my father sent over, I still think it was better to have my hand heal quickly than to let the infection linger. And none of that had anything to do with Gale. I hadn't asked my father to buy me anything. Told him not too in fact. And it was my own dumb fault that I had a burn and an infection anyway. None of it was Gale's fault so he shouldn't be feeling guilty or inadequate. I wipe my eyes and get out of bed. I need to find him. Need to fix this. It's stupid for us to be mad at each other. We are supposed to be a team, he and I. Supposed to work together. We can't let little stuff like this keep building up until we explode at one another like we just did. I pull on my boots, not bothering to tie the laces up and grab my sweater off the floor of our bedroom. I head outside into the now very chilly night and stand on the porch trying to think where he could have gone too. Did he go to the woods? The clearing? His mother's house?
I decide to check the clearing first. Thankfully, this is where I find him. Sitting, legs pulled up, resting his chin on his knees. I go over to him and sit down, leaning my head against his shoulder. He takes his arm and wraps it around me, pulling me into him. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you." He says before I get a chance.
"Me too. I never meant to make you feel like you weren't taking care of my needs." I apologize, tears flowing down my cheeks.
"I know that. I do. And I never meant to make you worry about me at work. The whole thing just sort of happened, I don't get a say in it. And I know I've been neglecting you when I come home. I'll do better on that."
"No, it's okay. I just didn't know why you just came home and practically went straight to bed every night. I kind of started wondering if this was how it would always be. Like maybe before was just a sort of honeymoon phase and this was how it would be from now on. I didn't know it was because your job got harder."
"You don't ever need to worry about me not wanting to spend time with you. I love you like crazy. And there is no honeymoon phase for us. The way I feel about you? That hasn't and isn't changing." He says, kissing my face.
"I love you too." I say back, kissing him too. He takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine, kissing me forcefully. I lean into the kiss and he falls backward into the grass, pulling me down on top of him. His hands trail over my back and onto my hips and I arch into him, kissing him more passionately. He moves his lips from mine, onto my neck where they feel like magic against my skin. I reach down, unbuttoning his pants, desperate for him, needing him now. He groans and I gasp in pleasure as our bodies move together. My mind swirls, everything fading from it and I let myself be overtaken with desire. All I can hear is us, all I can feel is us. Just us. And that's all I need right now. Just us.