This chapter is still Lucas's POV and is more or less a filler chapter for fun, enjoy!
BTW, I actually don't know how poker works and neither does Lucas so he'll not know about anything which will make my life easier as he'll be like, I don't even know why I'm here, help me! Why couldn't we play go fish, I actually know Go Fish!
The day seemed to have slipped away faster than you could say 'okey' and so we all displaced throughout my house taking part in different activities, Jeff was working on an invention of some kind, Poo was meditating in the front garden amongst the pretty flowers, Claus and Fuel had gone to the arcade because 'why not?' and Paula was up stairs trying out new hairstyles and painting her nails. The rest of us were in the living room playing a game I had never heard of before; Polka I think it was called… or was it poker?
Ness, Kumatora, Boney and I were crowded around the coffee table in the centre of the living room and were sitting on cushions that we had pulled off of the couch. We each had an assortment of cards from the deck and were playing for cookies… I didn't really understand the rules, so I just went with the flow… it appears that Mr. Author doesn't know what the rules are either, COME ON MAN! EVEN BONEY KNOWS THE RULES AND HE'S A DOG!
"Alright boys put up your steaks…" said Kumatora. "And No, Boney, the prize is not steak."
"Bitch, whatcha talking about, I'm a classy dog!" argued Boney. "I only eat the finest beef jerky that I find on the ground!"
"Well we aren't playing for Beef Jerky either!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Boney.
"Yeah! We're playing for cookies!" added Ness.
"I'll eat them!" responded Boney eagerly.
"How do you not know that sugar is poisonous to dogs?" asked Kumatora suspiciously.
"Bitch! I'm a dog! Not a Biology teacher!"
"Can we get on with the game please!?" asked Ness as he slid a small stack of cookies to the middle.
"Yeah sure…" said Kumatora and Boney as they too slid over two stacks of cookies.
They then all looked in my direction as they waited for me to make my move, so I took 3 cookies off of my stack of 20 and pushed them over to the middle.
Kumatora then asked that those of us who wished to possibly win this round if you will would 'fold'. The only explanation I could draw from this term was that it meant show off your cards.
Boney placed his cards on the table, I wasn't sure if the cards he had were good in terms of winning, but he received what was in the middle of the table after Ness and Kumatora had folded their cards. The deck was shuffled again and a few more cards were passed out… the game then came to a grinding halt after Jeff came flying through the wall of the kitchen after some kind of weapon he was working on exploded.
"YOU DAMNED PIECE OF TRASH, I WILL MAKE YOU SUCCESSFULLY SHOOT PROTON TORPEDOES YET!" yelled Jeff as he stormed back into the back room where he was working.
"My… my wall!" I mumbled in shock that there was now a Jeff shaped hole in it.
"Don't sweat it Lucas! You're in a fan fic, your wall will be fixed by the morning!" said Kumatora.
"Okay, can we not do this agai—"
"Alright, WHO BROKE IT THIS TIME? WHO BROKE THE F**KING WALL?!" screamed Mr. Author in frustration.
"Jeff!" replied Boney.
"NO, NOT THAT ONE YOU F**KING MUTT!" Yelled Mr. Author. "THE FOURTH WALL! WHO BROKE THE FOURTH WALL?!"
"What's a fourth wall?" asked Boney.
"You're better off not knowing—" said Kumatora.
"WELL I KNOW IT WAS ONE OF YAS! DISGUSTANG!" replied Mr. Author. "SERIOUSLY! DO YOU DELIGHT IN MY SUFFERING?!"
"In what way are you suffering!?" I asked.
"BECAUSE I HAVE TO SPEND MY NIGHT FIXING THE WALL… AGAIN!... WHEN I SHOULD BE OUT PARTYING WITH MRS. AUTHOR!"
"You have a wife?" asked Kumatora.
"NO!"
"But you said—"
"ONE MORE FOURTH WALL BREAK AND IMA KILL OFF THE LOT OF YAS!" yelled Mr. Author. "AUTHOR OUT!"
And as quickly as it had appeared, his presence had vanished. Just pointing out that Mr. Author is basically a main character now, after all, he's been in it more that Porky.
*BEEP, BEEP*
"DAMN IT!" cried Claus as he smacked his fist against the brightly coloured arcade machine. "I lost again?"
Claus then reached into his pocket once again to pull out another 1 DP but found that his pockets were empty.
"Huh?" he said as he pulled out a button and some dryer lint from his short pocket. "Hey Fuel?"
"Yeah?" replied Fuel as his eyes remained fixated on the game he was playing.
"Can you float me like, 20 DP?"
"Uh, No!"
"Why not?" questioned Claus.
"Because I shouldn't have to pay for your losing streak to continue!" told Fuel. "go get some more money off one of the frogs!"
"UGH! Fine!" cried Claus as he dragged his feet out the door in search of a save frog.
Claus was marvelled by how beautiful a village can seem when it's night time. All of the street lamps were on and were glowing a lovely bright light, the buildings all had their lights on with the curtains drawn and the sky was clear showing a crescent moon surrounded by hundreds of stars that glowed from very far away.
It seemed that because it was night time, Claus was going to have a fairly hard time finding a save frog at this time—
*VROOM, BEEP, BEEP*
- or maybe not.
"Hey! You!" Claus yelled to the save frog who was driving a little red Car. "Stop!"
Just as Claus had commanded, the save frog pulled over in his car and waited for the ginger to catch up.
"Need something?" asked the frog with his arm (or leg) hanging out of the side of the car.
"Yeah, can I draw out some DP please?" asked Claus.
"Sure you can!"
Claus then withdrew 50 DP from the frog's bank and let the frog get back to his business.
"Remember to save your game!" yelled the frog as he drove away.
"Save what game?" Claus questioned. "You can't save arcade games, stupid frog!"
The ginger boy then headed back into the arcade building.
The arcade was a fairly large building consisting of two floors and with each having a thick black carpet and blue stripy walls. There were many gaming machines scattered throughout the building and a couple of posters which all said the same thing, 'The Nintendo Entertainment system! Buy it now with your money!'
The gaming machines were all vastly different from one another, there were no two same machines. The machine that Fuel was playing on had a game on it called 'Donkey Kong' and consisted of a strangely shaped man climbing a series of red beams to save a blonde woman from a giant ape. Another game was called 'Punch Out!" and was the game that Claus favoured in particular. The game was a simulation of a boxing tournament with the player taking the role of a boxer that has to go up against many opponents that are stronger than him. The game wasn't so hard that it couldn't be won, any skilled gamer would have been able to do it, not Claus though. Before a couple of days ago, Claus had no idea what a video game was or how to play them, at least now he was getting some practice in.
It had been an hour and our game of poker was still going on. Somehow, we went from having 80 cookies in play to now having 128 suggesting that someone had been adding cookies to their pile. From my understanding, you lose a game of poker when you completely run out of things to bet on, in this case, cookies.
Looking at my pile, I didn't know if had a slight lead on the others or not. Yes, my pile was bigger than the rest as I had put up less steaks, but I had hardly won anything. The last time I showed anyone my cards was about 15 minutes ago and nothing really happened, why couldn't we play Go Fish?
"Alright! I'm all in Bitches!" said Boney as he slid his remaining 11 cookies into the centre of the table.
"You know what, F*ck it!" yelled Kumatora. "I'm all in too!"
"Well if you're all in, I guess I should be too!" said Ness as he slid his rather hefty looking pile of cookies into the middle.
From the context, I guessed that 'All in' means you have gotten bored so you're just putting everything you have into the middle so you can get the game over with, something which I was eager to do.
"I'm all in too, then!" I said as I pushed my pile of cookies into the middle of the table.
Someone was about to be very lucky, for his own health, I had hoped it wasn't going to be Boney.
"Okay… Fold!" said Kumatora.
On cue, Boney smacked his cards down on the table revealing 3 cards that did not make a set which meant that Boney had lost.
"SON OF A MOTHER F**KER!" yelped Boney as he tried to cope with his hefty loss.
Kumatora then placed her cards down, she had a set that was considered to be basic, ergo, if someone had a better set such as all of the royals, she would then lose.
"Come to mama—" she whispered as she began to drag the cookies towards her.
"Not so fast!" said Ness as he began to glare at Kumatora and I. "Read 'em and weep!"
Ness then placed his card set on the table revealing that he had an almost complete set of royals. He removed Kumatora's hands from the pile and started moving them towards him.
"What do you have, Lucas?" asked Kumatora in a slightly sad tone.
"Yeah!" said Ness. "Show us your cards!"
I then placed my cards on the table revealing that I had a complete set of royals, I still had no idea if that was good.
"Does this mean anything?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah!" said Kumatora as she began to glare at Ness. "It means you won!"
She then removed Ness's hands from the pile of cookies and pushed them towards me. Ness was merely staring at the cookies and blinking occasionally and mumbling the words, 'I lost?'
Of course there was no way I could finish this huge pile of cookies on my own, so I shared my winnings with the poker players and had to exclude Boney for his own good, I then fetched him a chicken leg from the fridge, so everything worked out well in the end.
"Claus! Let's go!" cried Fuel in a very bored tone. "I'm outta money, let's go home!"
"Just hold on!" responded Claus.
"Why?"
"Because I'm actually on a winning streak and I really wanna make it to the end!" told Claus as he was mashing the buttons on the 'Punch Out!' game.
Fuel then grew even more intrigued and started to watch from just above Claus's shoulder.
The extra pressure from having someone watch you have a winning streak proved to be too much for Claus and he immediately lost.
Claus watched in horror as the pixilated letters that read 'Game Over!' began to appear across the screen of the game that he had worked so hard to set the record for.
"Claus? You alright?"
…
…
…
…
"Claus—"
"*starts crying* I LOST!... I LOST, I F**KING LOST!" cried Claus.
"well at least you made it this far!" said Fuel trying to reassure the latter.
"True… but fuel!" said Claus as he wiped the tear drops from his face. "I LOST!"
"yeah but you didn't lose straight away like you did to start with!"
"That's true…. But I lost!"
"Okay, seriously!" said Fuel in a sterner tone. "Get over it! You can always come back and try again whenever you feel like it, now come on, we're going home!"
Fuel then grabbed Claus by his collar and started dragging him out the door and towards the house once more.
Paula was in the upstairs bathroom painting her fingernails all different kinds of colours.
"I'll make this one, red, this one will be fuchsia, this one, hmmm… red wine!" said Paula to herself.
"You know they're all just different shades of red, right?" said an unknown male's voice.
"EEEEEEP!" screamed Paula as she took out a frying pan and lobbed it at the shower curtain as behind there was where the sound had originated from.
*CLANG*
"OWIE! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" argued the unknown male.
"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT BY FRYING PANS, DON'T HIDE IN PEOPLE'S SHOWERS LIKE A PERV!" argued Paula. "SHOW YOURSELF!"
From behind the shower curtain emerged Ninten who was clutching a yellow canary in his hands.
"Hey! You're that kid from the karaoke night!" gasped Paula.
"Yes, I am!" responded Ninten.
"What are you doing here… in the shower?" questioned Paula.
"Oh! I was saving one of the canaries that has one of the eight melodies and I got transported here!"
"Is that the canary?"
"Yep!" replied Ninten as he began to inspect it. "And it looks delicious…"
"Wait? What?" questioned Paula.
"Oh! Nothing! Hehehe…" responded the black-haired child innocently.
Ness, Kumatora, Boney and I were eating our winnings and talking about how unlikely it was that I had won my first ever game of Poker. At the same time, Paula descended from the stairs with Ninten following behind closely.
"Oh! You're the one from the karaoke night!" said Ness.
"yeah!" Ninten responded.
"Why are you here?" asked Kumatora.
"I didn't get to meet everyone last time I was here!" told Ninten. "I thought I'd come back and see everyone! I even bought this canary!"
"Why did you bring a canary?" I asked curiously.
"I was holding it when I came here… and I'm real hungry…"
"if you're hungry, we have an unlimited fridge… help yourself!" said Kumatora.
"Do you have any canary?" asked Ninten innocently.
"What?" we all asked in unison.
"I mean chicken, do you have chicken?"
"Yup!" said Ness as he opened the Mr. Saturn Fridge revealing a whole chicken that had been cooked lovingly by the Saturns.
"Yummo!" mumbled Ninten as he slowly approached the fridge and picked up the chicken.
"This canary looks delicious!" said Boney as he stood looking at it and was licking his lips.
"BONEY! NO!" yelled Paula. "That canary is holding one of the eight melodies!"
"Meh!" responded the brown canine.
"Mmmm…" hummed Ninten after demolishing the chicken. "Yummy!"
The door then swung open and through it stepped Claus and Fuel, the former of whom stopped dead in his tracks after seeing Ninten standing in the living room.
OMIGOSH, OMIGOSH! THAT SUPER DUPER HOTTIE IS BACK! Claus thought to himself.
Claus then began to sweat a little as Ninten batted an eyelash at the carrot topped boy. Fuel instantly noticed and began to get a little bit jealous.
"Oh! Hello!" said Ninten to the duo stood next to the door.
"hey!" said Fuel with a slightly aggravated tone.
"hi!" said Claus quietly.
"So are you two together because I need a new OTP to ship and I'm already shipping you two and if you're together, that idea is down the drain?" blurted Ninten.
"Y… Yes we are?" said Fuel as he wrapped his arm around Claus.
"HEY AUTHOR!" yelled Ninten.
"WHAT?!" Mr. Author yelled back.
"CAN YOU ADD SOME NEW MALE CHARACTERS SO I CAN SHIP A NEW OTP?"
"NO! I JUST ADDED YOU, THAT'S IT!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
"THERE ARE NO MORE MALE CHARACTERS TO ADD… ACCEPT IT!"
"UH! WHAT ABOUT LOID?" asked Ninten.
"HE STRAIGHT!"
"true…"
"ANYWAYS, HOW DID YOU GET HERE?" asked Mr. Author. "I'M PRETTY SURE I CUT OFF YOUR CONNECTION TO THIS WORLD!"
"BITCH PLEASE, I BROKE THROUGH IT… EASY AS THE FOURTH—"
"DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE!"
Ninten simply gulped at Mr. Author's last command and heeded it to a great extent.
"NOW BE GONE, THOT!" yelled Mr. Author as Ninten began to disappear.
"I'll be back!" said Ninten as he disappeared completely.
"No… No he will not!" mumbled Mr. Author as his presence vanished.
We all stood dumbfounded as always, but hey, stuff like this happens like, everyday so I guess we should be used to this sort of thing… as strange as it may seem.
It soon turned midnight and all the street lamps turned off. The moon was the highest in the sky that it had been since the last full moon and the stars glowed as they were scattered throughout the sky like white glitter on black paper. The night seemed a little dead, like all the life had been drained out of the life forms that wander the nights looking for something to feed on. We should have saw this as a precursor to what was coming tomorrow… but we were none the wiser…