Spoiler alert for if you haven't seen season 9, episode 2 ("The Cheat in the Retreat").
Disclaimer: I borrow a good deal of dialogue from "The Cheat in the Retreat," but I don't own Bones.
She knew exactly damn well what she was doing when she asked him to don the robe from the retreat center and practice feeling "biological, electrical impulses."
He knew exactly damn well what she was doing — especially with those candles burning on their nightstands (way to not be subtle, Bones) — but he played innocent, trying to throw her off her own game.
"Let's hurry up and get this done. I've got a game to watch …" Booth had fake protested, all the while thinking, "Please be what I think this is and don't turn this into some crazy anthropology experiment."
She rolled her eyes, gently scolding him. "Booth. Come on."
"All right …"
"Only our palms touch … nothing else," Brennan reminded, her voice low and soothing. "Just let your mind drift."
Oh, his mind was drifting just fine. Mmm, her hands felt nice. Damn it, this playing it cool thing was going to be harder than he thought. Time for a little distraction …
"Sweets is taking a leave of absence."
Her eyes flew open in surprise — ah hah, distraction successful, baby! — "To do what?"
Now what was it that Sweets had said? "Well, he said that he had lost touch with his original motivation for being a psychologist." Yeah, that sounded right. Totally convincing.
"Well, I thought he was a psychologist because he had sub-standard math skills."
Crap, she looked like she was falling for it a little too much. Time for another approach. "OK, are we done here?" He moved his hands, and she followed them, immediately protesting with a whine, "No! Booth, come on."
"OK, I'm right here." He paused and closed his eyes, repeating, "I'm right here," and thus didn't see Brennan's slight smile as she interrupted their five seconds of silence, "Did Bill and Evelyn remind you of us?"
Opening his eyes in slight surprise, Booth countered her question with one of his own. "Um, well, if someone was choking me, would you hit them over the head with a billiard ball?" Oh, he definitely knew the answer to that question.
She nodded immediately, smiling as she admitted, "Yes. If someone slapped me, would you karate chop them in the throat?"
"I'd do a hell of a lot more than that," Booth thought, but kept that to himself as he returned Brennan's smile. "Yeah, I would."
She went quiet again, a pleased and content smile spreading across her face. Watching Brennan's eyes close again, Booth suddenly found himself helpless in this little game. He barely allowed three seconds to pass before he swung both of his hands to Brennan's waist, pulling her slightly closer. "Mmm." He placed his mouth directly over her lips and moved his teasing grip to her hips.
"Booth …" Her voice held just the slightly hint of disapproval as her left hand went to his shoulder in a weak attempt to push him.
"Mmmhmm?" He continued his kisses, feeling Brennan's traitorous right hand move to his chest, where the robe gaped open, leaving his skin free to her touch.
"We're only supposed to touch …" she returned the kiss, and then slightly pulled away from him, "… the palms of our hands …"
"I can't help it …"
"… and nothing else…" Her protest was essentially non-existent now.
"I'm just drifting. I'm drifting with the whole electronical device that …" He stopped as he felt her slide the robe from his body and he wriggled his shoulders to help her — bingo, baby. Game time.
She gave a sexy, gentle laugh against his lips, correcting him as she helped her robe join his on their bedroom floor, "Electrical impulses." She took a step backward toward the bed, her calf hitting the cool comforter, and immediately, they were both on the bed, the box set creaking slightly under the sudden movement. "We weren't supposed to take those robes, were we?"
"Nope." He began kissing his way down her throat.
"Really?"
"Yeah." Booth placed a longer kiss near her collarbone. "Definitely not."
"For some reason, I find that incredibly attractive."
"The robe? Really? I like that super short silky red one that you have way better …" he admitted, sucking lightly against the spot behind her ear.
"No, not the robe," she breathed, threading a hand through his hair. "The fact that you stole them."
He laughed and pulled away, starting to peel off the precious little she had on under the robe. "You're bad."
"I'm bad?" She raised her eyebrows and laughed, moving her arms to allow him to discard her bra. "You're the one who stole them!"
"And it turns you on." He grinned, cocky with this new knowledge. "Me being bad and stealing something turns you the hell on."
She shot back a lusty smirk and murmured a husky, "Hell yeah, it does," against his throat.
"Enough talking, baby. Time to be bad."
Confession: When I first saw the season 9 promo, there's an oh-so-brief scene where Brennan's kissing Booth. He's bare-chested, and she's wearing something (the robe). The scene is so short that I couldn't tell it was a robe. All I thought was, "Dang it, wardrobe has screwed her over once again … why is she in the world's ugliest hoodie?!" After watching the episode, I still think the robes are ugly, but I understand the purpose of matching, modest ones for a retreat center/spa/etc. (But still, can't we have Brennan's hot little robe we saw Booth rocking in "The End in the Beginning?" Mmm. Yes, please.)
Next up: I'm doing a (fairly random) one-shot about the unlikely candidate who kills Pelant. (Let's be honest: Don't we all think it's going to be Booth? But what if it wasn't?) If anyone wants to join me in the this venture, shoot me a message so I can know to direct people to your story. I'm planning on posting mine this coming week — hopefully in the next few days. If you want to leave a review with your guess, I'll give anyone who gets it right a shout-out in the next chapter. :)