A/N: So the beginning of this chapter might be a little bit confusing, so I'll just tell you this. The first point of view is Jo's point of view, and everything that goes on in the first narrative is what was happening to her/in her mind when Alex went outside.

I'd be lying if I said that I'm surprised. I'm not at all surprised by what happened tonight. I expected it. Though I expected this to happen, it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking though. I used to think that people that threw around the term "heartbroken" loosely were just attention seeking and melodramatic. I mean really, just how badly can your heart get broken? Hearts don't break and coming from a medical standpoint, if a heart broke, you wouldn't last longer than ten seconds before you kill over and die. And if your heart truly did break, you wouldn't survive long enough to ask for pity about it. But of course, all that changes when me, myself…has just fallen victim to something like I just did, thus throwing me into the experience of "heartbreak." Like I said, I'm not at all shocked or astonished about what happened. In fact, I halfway expected it to happen this way. Things don't go right for me and that's just the way it is. I'm not the kind of girl that gets a happily ever after. I learned that a very long time ago and really, I just accept it. I accept the fact that I get crapped on by every boy I try to be with. I admit that I let my guard down a little bit and began to think that maybe Alex was just a little bit different, but hey. I still accept it.

Let me be the first to say that heartbreak actually freaking sucks. My chest hurts. There's a sinking feeling in it and it feels like I'm going to have to try to breathe. I feel like my heart was literally ripped out of my chest, my stomach is in knots and I'm afraid to start crying because once I cry, I might not stop. I'll feel like a bit of an asshole if I start crying. It's like…what am I crying for? I knew this was going to happen, I set myself up for this to happen, I have no right to cry over it actually happening. I knew that Alex was an asshole before I even decided to sleep with him. I knew that in addition to him being this amazing, loving, caring person that he's shown to be, he has a nasty side. I knew that he has a nasty side and still, I chose to lie down with him and make love—err, have sex. We didn't make love, I have to remember that. I still don't know what I said to make him blow up at me. I still don't know when he decided that he was going to leave. I want to know what I did. I mean, I'd at least like to apologize to him. It all happened so fast. He was set off so…freaking…fast.

He was lying on top of me and I was rubbing his back. First of all, I've never actually did the whole "cuddling after sex" thing before tonight. Boys usually just climb off of me, roll over and go to sleep after they get done with me. Not Alex though. Alex pulled out, did his business on me and laid down. He put his arms around my waist, his head on my chest and he held me. I held him too because the feeling I had after having sex with him was something I wanted to hold on to forever. I never wanted to forget how special I felt in that moment. He was my first for a lot of things tonight. He was the first man to ever hold me the way he did. The first man to kiss me more than once while we were having sex. The first man to actually care whether or not he was making me uncomfortable, and he was the first man I ever let do what he did on my stomach. I trusted him though. I trusted that he wasn't dirty or diseased. I trusted that he wouldn't hurt me. I trusted that he wasn't going to make a mistake and I really trusted that he wasn't going to just use me. Alex is the first man I've ever had unprotected sex with too…that's how much I trusted him.

I don't know what I was thinking. How "special" can any woman be to Alex when he has the most screwed up views on women? The man has screwed up views of his own mother, what made me think I was different? I'm not special. I don't matter to him. I don't matter to anyone. The only man I ever mattered to was my dad. I trusted him way too much. I put all my faith into him…what a stupid thing for me to do. I thought he was going to be different. I tried so hard to bask in the moment. I tried so hard to keep the moment precious. I even shut him up. He started talking about being sorry that he hurt me and I shut that down quickly. There was nothing he could've said to ruin my moment. It was nearly impossible for him to shoot down the importance I felt. Leave it to Alex to find a way to do what I deemed impossible though. Leave it to him to ruin me, just when I thought that I was over a situation. I thought that nobody else was going to use me. I never thought I'd be in the same situation in less than a year. Have sex with a man only for him to dump me. I really, truly, deeply thought Alex was going to be different. Like I said…I don't know what I was thinking. Or maybe I wasn't thinking. Maybe I was just hoping. Screw me for hoping though. Screw me for thinking that he was different when he turned out exactly like the last guy I had sex with.

I put my hands down on the bathroom floor and pick myself up. The aching, throbbing sensation in my hip is just a nagging reminder that the argument—if you can call it that—actually happened between the two of us. I walk over to the sink, careful not to injure myself any further. When I get to the sink, I rest my hands on the counter and shift my leg to take the weight off my badly aching hip. I look at myself in the mirror just to make sure I don't look horrible when I decide to go back out into the room to face him. Around my left temple is a bright red circle mark that's slowly forming into a bruise. I cracked my head off the wall pretty hard but it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as my hip does. I twist the sink handle and let the water run so I can clean myself up. Did he hit me? I cup my hands together and fill them up with lukewarm water and lean my head down. I've been trying to figure out whether or not he hit me. He didn't mean to. He just pushed me and I tripped. Yeah, excuses. That's how it always starts. Stupid battered girlfriend makes excuses for the jerk that hits her, then takes him back. It's always "he didn't mean it". Always. I splash the water on my face and rub my fingertips over my eyes to wash any evidence of me crying away. Alex isn't like that though. He wouldn't hit a girl. Yeah well you also thought he wouldn't use you for sex and look where that got you.

I turn off the running water at the sink and wipe my face off with my t-shirt. Alex didn't hit me. He just pushed me and he made me fall. It was an accident. It was a total accident. If…if he somehow manages to injure me again then I'll know for sure that he's abusive towards me. Physically abusive, I mean. I kind of already know that he's verbally and mentally abusive towards me but it's really not something that I can't take. This was just a mistake. He didn't mean to do that and he's sorry. If it happens again, then I have a reason to worry. Until then, I'm calm. I keep my shirt lifted up and I tilt my head downward to look at my hip. It's starting to bruise but in the middle of the bruising is a vertical slit with blood seeping out of it. The cut doesn't hurt as much as the fact that I hit it hurts. It's really sore. I'd better go get a bandage before the bleeding stains my shirt and my pants. I sigh and brace myself to go face Alex.

I turn off the bathroom light and open up the door. I shut the bathroom door behind myself and when I walk out into the bedroom, he's not even in here. A little bit confused, I look around. I wasn't in the bathroom for that long. Where'd he go that quickly? I look over towards the desk in the corner of the room next to the TV stand. His wallet is on the desk and his backpack is on the floor next to the desk. So he hasn't gone anywhere far, obviously. But where could he have even gone? He doesn't give a rat's ass about you so why do you care about him? I roll my eyes at my thoughts and walk over to the door. He said he wanted to get an extra room so he doesn't have to sleep with you tonight... Before I open the door, I bite my lip and consider this. He might get mad at me for doing this but what do I have to lose at this point? He's already mad at me for no apparent reason at all, I might as well give him a real reason to be pissed at me. I go over to his wallet and unzip it. I slip out his silver credit card and walk right out the door of the bedroom. I shut it behind myself and softly pad down the hallway to the check in desk.

"How may I help you, ma'am?" The man that checked Alex and I in when we first got here leans across the counter at me. His light blue eyes are fixated on me and I can tell by the look on his face that he's very interested in me. He wasn't checking me out when Alex was with me but he sure is checking me out now. I'm wearing a pair of fluffy pink pajama pants with purple hearts all over them, my t-shirt is grey with a butterfly on the left breast pocket and my hair is dull and lifeless. I don't look all that desirable right now in my pajamas so I really wonder why the hell he's looking at me like I'm a meal.

"Um…" I tuck my hair behind my ear and shuffle Alex's credit card back and forth in my hands. "I got into a fight with my friend and I just need to book an extra room..." He starts typing things into a computer as I'm speaking. I can see now that Alex will probably be a raging asshole when he finds out that I took his card and booked an extra room with it. But first of all, he was going to do it anyway. He was going to book an extra room anyway so why does it make a difference if I'm the one that does it instead of him? And secondly, he's already mad so I might as well add fuel to the fire. "You can book it under Wilson."

"$245.50." He stops typing and holds his hand out to me. I hand him Alex's card and look around because if I make eye contact with this guy, he's going to see it in my eyes that I know that what I'm doing is horribly wrong right now. "Room 401, up on the fourth floor…" He turns around and sifts through a cabinet full of room keys. "Is that all you need is an extra room?" He turns back to me and slides a card key across the counter at me. "There's your room key, babe." He folds his hands and leans against the counter. Did he just call me babe?

"Thanks." I swipe the key off the counter along with Alex's card and put them both in my hands. "And also…do you have a…first aid kit or something? Or just a Band-Aid of some sort?" I nervously run my hands through my hair.

"How big?" He kneels down behind his desk and rummages through something. "Medium-sized okay?" He pokes his head up and looks at me. I nod my head at him and he goes back behind his desk. "Do you need antiseptic? Bacitracin cream?" He pokes his head up once more and I just shake my head. If I start talking to him then I really might curse him out. If I needed antiseptic ointment or bacitracin cream, I would've asked. Stop flirting with me. He puts a white box with a red cross up on the desk and stands up straight. I lunge forward to reach for the first aid but he sweeps it off the counter and opens up the gate that separates the two of us. Once he gets around to where I am, he puts the kit back on the desk and starts opening it up. "Where's your wound?" He asks.

"On my hip." I take a slight step away from him. "But it's fine, can I just take a Band-Aid up to my room? I'm going to take a shower, so there's really no use in sticking it on now." I'm trying to be so polite in turning him down but he's making it so hard. He's extremely pushy and he's not going to do anything but cause me to be harsher in the way I tell him to stop flirting with me. I'm not interested. I'm not interested in him, I'm not interested in anyone anymore. I'm right back to where I started before I even got in the damn car with Alex. I don't want a relationship anymore. I thought I was ready for a boyfriend, I thought wanted a relationship with Alex but I was wrong. Now I'm not interested in anybody and I want him to leave me alone now. "So I'll just take the Band-Aid up to my room…" Not to mention, if I was going to go after someone, he'd be a little bit better looking than this guy. He's old, with wispy gray hair and powder blue eyes. If I was going to go looking for a guy, it'd be Matt. I'll probably never see poor Matt again but I swear, I wish I had given him a chance. He hands me the bandage from the first aid kit and I take it politely. "Thanks, have a nice night."

"You too, babe….and make sure you lock that door." He starts closing the first aid kit and winks at me. I wrinkle my brow and hesitate on walking for a second to just look at him. I thought he was just being sweetly flirtatious at first but now he's kind of creeping me the hell out. "I'm just saying." He takes the kit off the counter and walks towards me. He acts like he's just nearing me so he can walk back through the gate to get behind his counter again but he could've gone the other way to get behind the counter. I take a step away from him. "Girl like you up in a hotel room all alone… never know what you're gettin' yourself into." I take another step away from him. I wish I could start walking, but my legs are like mush. I can't walk. "You need anything, just come back down here. I work late tonight." My head irreverently nods. "I could come up to check on you if you like…"

"No, that's okay." I tighten my hand around Alex's credit card, my room key, my cell phone and my Band-Aid and I finally get my legs together long enough to walk away. I'm having a really rough night it seems. I really just want to go to sleep. I want to take a shower so I can wash myself free of the sex I had with Alex, free of his…bodily fluids on my stomach. I just want to wash away all my cares, get myself clean and go to sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I push the button to call the elevator hard and wait patiently for the doors to open. I'll set the alarm on my phone to wake me up around 9:30 tomorrow morning. So Alex doesn't think I up and went away, I left my bag of clothes down in his room. I'll go back to his room when I wake up tomorrow morning. I'll give him the night to cool down. I walk into the elevator and push the button to take me up to the fourth floor. Speaking of Alex, I wonder where the hell he went. Stop caring about him. He doesn't care about you!

Still, I wonder where he went.

Alex's Point of View.

"She's my girlfriend. Her name is JO. She's five foot…five inches tall. She has long brown hair and light brown eyes. She's thin and she's very tiny. She came in WITH me. Have you seen her?" I went to the main lobby and looked, I went to the cafeteria and looked, I went down to the pool room and looked. I even went outside, which was pointless because I was outside and if she had left the hotel, I would've seen her leave. She doesn't have any money so I know she didn't rent another room and when I was in our room, her bag was still there, so she didn't go far. So now I'm right back here begging this woman at the check-in desk to help me. I'm losing my goddamn mind. She could be somewhere scared or cold or hurt. I don't know if she's alive or dead. I don't know if she decided to go kill herself somewhere. My point is she could be ANYWHERE. "Where's the other guy? The guy that was here before you…he checked us in. Can you please get the other guy?"

"I'm sorry sir, but he's on his break." Her Spanish accent is thick as she speaks broken English. I'd hate to get mean and nasty with this woman but she's not helping me. Jo is LOST. Why doesn't anybody care?! "I can keep an eye out looking for her and I can take down your room number so I will call you…when I have any information. But right now sir, there is nothing I can do. T'would be an invasion of privacy if I asked other…occupants to search their rooms. I will keep you updated, sir…I swear." I shake my head at her for again, being of NO help towards me and I walk off in the direction of our room again. I'm trying to think like Jo. I'm trying to put myself in her mindset and I'm trying to envision exactly where she might've gone. Where would I be if I was Jo? I open up the door to our room and slam it shut behind me. I looked everywhere for her. Everywhere in this hotel that she could've been, I looked. She's nowhere.

I pick up the wireless lamp sitting on the nightstand beside the bed and put all my muscle into throwing it hard at the wall. I grunt with the throw, which is how I know I threw it pretty freaking hard. The lamp busts and shatters against the wall and hits against a picture of a black and white bridge. The picture busts along with the lamp and falls down to the ground. After I watch my destruction, I hastily sit down on the bed and put my head in my hands. The only source of light in the room was coming from the lamp that I just broke so now it's dark. She would've never left if I had never pushed her away. She wouldn't have felt the need to leave if I wasn't such a dick. Now I can't find her. I run my hands through my hair and pull it. DAMN ALEX. WHY? I lie down flat against the bed and look up at the very dark ceiling. I need to find her. I think she'll be back because her bag is here and she wouldn't leave her bag if she was really going to leave. But I still can't bear the thought of where she might be.

I need to find her.

Jo's Point of View.

I vigorously rub my towel over my head to dry my hair off and when I'm done, I toss it on the floor. It's actually quite nice to be in a room by myself. It's nice to have a break from Alex, even though I do miss him a bit. But ever since I got in the car with him and we started travelling, we haven't gone a day without fighting. We argue more than we talk and it's so tiresome to constantly have to argue and defend myself against him. It's the most tiring thing. So even though I miss him and I wonder if he's okay, it's so nice to have a break. I start combing my hair with my fingers up into a damp, sloppy bun so I can go to sleep for the night. I didn't bring my clothes upstairs with me to my new room, so I have to sleep naked. Sometimes I'll sleep topless and I'll NEVER sleep with pants on, but I never sleep naked. I usually always at least have panties on. But I had sex today for the first time in forever and the clothes that I came up here in are soiled. I just got out the shower and I'm clean, so it'd defeat the entire purpose if I were to put those clothes back on. I slide the covers back on my bed and climb into it. I pull the covers up over my naked body and roll over on my stomach so I can fall asleep.

Honestly? I wish I could forget about this night. I wish I could forget about the fact that I had sex with Alex, I wish I could forget about the fact that I think he hit me and I wish I could forget about how much I thought I meant to him. I can't forget about it though. Every time I close my eyes, I envision him hovering over top of me. I can still feel the sensation of his hips banging down into mine when he would thrust deep. And I'm still a little bit sore down below. I want to forget but I can't. I think I made a mistake. I think I made a mistake in having sex with him. We're still stuck with each other and I had with him. This is going to ruin everything. God, why can't I just matter to somebody? For once? Why can't I be somebody to someone? Why doesn't anybody ever care about me? Am I unlovable or something? I really want to matter to Alex. I really just want to be somebody to him.

I still want to know what I did. We were cuddling and basking in the afterglow of making—having sex. We were just lying there and I was in my glory. He seemed okay. And then I asked him about his girlfriend. He told me that his girlfriend was a bitch and I agreed. He told me that he loved her and they were supposed to get married but she cheated on him and dumped him. And after all that, he went batshit crazy on me. What went wrong? I mean, it's clear to see that he's a little bit messed up over his girlfriend but why does he have to take that out on me? What did I do? Did I say something to upset him? He went crazy after talking to me about Lucy. You're not stupid, Jo. You know why he freaked out. But why? I'm not like that. I'm not her. I'm not a bitch and I'm not setting out to hurt him. All I want to do is be his. I'm not out to hurt him. So I don't understand the reason why he freaked out. I'm putting two and two together and I get that he only freaked out on me after he talked about Lucy. So that HAS to be the reason why he freaked out. But I'm not understanding…

I'm not his ex-girlfriend. I'm not Lucy or whatever the hell her name was. I'm JO. Why isn't Jo good enough? I'm not her. He needs to realize that I'm not her. If that's the reason as to why he freaked out on me then I don't understand. I really hope that's not the reason he freaked. I hope he didn't flip on me because of his ex. Because that'd be really low. I hate being compared to other people and that's honestly one of my pet peeves. I close my eyes and try to give myself to sleep.

Alex's Point of View.

"You…" As I was roaming the hallways, I finally found the guy that checked me and Jo in earlier. I've been looking for her since 11:30 tonight. Last time I checked the time it was 1:15 in the morning. I've been looking for her for hours and still…nothing. I'm honestly half-cocked and out of my mind at this point. My head is reeling and I'm not playing games anymore. If somebody came around and tried to mess with me while I'm in the state of mind I'm currently in, I'd honestly probably kill somebody. I'm not in the right state of mind right now. I need Jo and until I have her back, I probably won't be in the right state of mind any time soon. The guy that checked us in earlier stops walking up the hallway and waits until I get over to him. "…Have you seen my girlfriend? You remember the girl that came in with me? She's short…about five foot, five inches. Brown hair… you remember her?" I ask him. He has a smug little grin on his face which lights a fire down in the pit of my stomach. I feel the anger bubbling up.

"Real pretty little thing she was…" He's smirking and my hand clenches up into a fist. "Yeah, I remember her. What's it to you?"

"Do you know where she went?" My vision is starting to blur but not because I'm starting to cry or anything. It's starting to blur because when I get mad, I have very legit tunnel-vision. The anger is welling up in the pit of my stomach, burning hot like a fire. I think I have the nerve to be mad because he's talking about Jo like she's meat on a platter. Don't smile while you're talking about my girl, dude. I'll kill you. You don't even know her.

"It's against my policy to give away customers' rooms. I could get fired."

"But you know where she is?!" I feel relief eclipse the anger in my stomach. It's like relief is a bucket of water that just put out the fire of anger.

"I do." He nods. "But I can't reveal that kind of information to you. We have a code called customer confiden—"

He's interrupted mid-sentence by my hand wrapping around his throat. I black out in my anger and squeeze this man's throat in my hand and shove him against the wall. "WHERE IS SHE?" He still manages to have that smug look on his face, so I grip his throat harder and lift him up off the ground by his throat. "I'm not joking, man….where is she? She's my girlfriend…"

"R…room… 4…4…0….1." He chokes out. I squeeze his throat tighter. I squeeze it so tight that my hand begins to shake and tremble. When I see the color begin to drain out of the guy's face, I let him go and he falls into a heap on the floor. I don't even give him a second look as I push past him and go to get my Jo.

X X X

"JO!" I knock so hard on the door that the hinges crack because they're starting to break. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN HERE, SO OPEN THE DOOR!" I knock harder. "OPEN THE DOOR, JO! NOW!" I put my ear to the door to listen and see if I can hear anything. I hear laughing…and a man's voice. I'm going to jail tonight. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, JO!" I push against the door with my shoulder blade. She's in the room with somebody. Somebody's in there having sex with my girl. I hear laughing and a man's voice and I swear it sounds like there's people in there having sex. I'm really going to jail. "OPEN THE DOOR!" The door still doesn't budge and by now, I'm sure that I've probably woken up half the people on this floor. But I don't care. My girl is in the room with some other dude, laughing. I take a couple steps back away from the door and take a breath because I know what I'm about to do. I drop my shoulder down like I learned how to back when I played football and charge with my shoulder into the door. It breaks open and as soon as it breaks open, I hear the loudest scream I've ever heard in my life.

The room is dark, aside from the TV playing up on the wall. She's lying in the bed alone, naked. She's sitting up now as she's holding blankets to cover her body and she's looking at me like I'm supposed to be a ghost. She's alone, though. There's nobody else in the room with her. "…Alex?!" She's clutching a pillow to her body as if a pillow would protect her against something. I feel like an ass. I really, really feel like an ass. I thought she was in here with a man. How stupid am I for that? "…Oh my god." She runs her hand through her hair and she's breathing so hard. "Oh god…" I shut the door as best as I can behind me and stand where I am. "You scared the…" She's crying too. I must've really scared her. "Oh my god." I'm so glad she's safe. It's like everything is just gone. The worry I felt, the anger I felt, the jealousy of thinking she was in here with another man. It's all wiped away. She's safe. "I…." She's panicking. "I just booked a room on my own because…you said…you wanted to…"

I'm not even listening to anything she's saying. I nearly run over to the bed and dive on her. I put my lips against hers and I kiss her so hard. "You're so stupid, Jo! You're so stupid!" I kiss her on her lips again and her eyes are open. She's confused. "Why would you do that to me?! Do you have any idea…" I kiss her once more. "I was so worried about you! You have any idea how long I was looking for you?!" I hold her head still and kiss her deeper this time. "You're such a dumbass…" I pull away and look down at her. It's really her. Her hair, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her beautiful, beautiful face. It's her. "…You scared the shit outta me, Jo…don't you ever do that again." I lean down and put my lips to hers again. I can't stop kissing her. Man, I really thought something happened to my girl. "You don't just up and leave, what the hell…"

"…Sorry."