The cook must really hate it here.

An Okama island.

How the okama queen got the crews location from the guy that sent them flying, he didn't know, but the cook landing here after some of the disturbing okama stories the he had shared after a few too many kind of worried him.

The island was rather small and bathed in feminine colors. No port or boats to speak of. Just shops and houses. No evidence of fighting or kick induced rubble. Everything perfectly intact. Did the shit cook die? Zoro had been helped by the ghost girl…what if no one found him? Or if the wrong person did?

Luffy went one direction to search. Zoro another.

He approached the first okama he saw that seemed to be talking with several other "ladies" outside a shopping stall.

"Excuse me? I am looking for a cook."

"You like cooking?" She asked with sudden interest.

"Hell no." That was kinda why he was looking for his cook after all…well a small part of it. The okama appraised him like maybe he was lying.

"Oh? What about dresses? Flowers? Sweets?"

"Hate them. Listen…have you seen a man about my height with blond hair, stupid curly eyebrow?" He asked more seriously.

"Oh dear!! Yes I have! He came to this island a few weeks ago right? Oh, I'm afraid you'll have to see Sakura-chan if you are looking for him. He left a long time ago!"

"This Sakura-chan could tell me where he went then?"

"Yes! She works over at the Lovely Bonnet hotel. Over there." A point to a large pink and purple structure about a block away and Zoro was off yelling his thanks over his shoulder.

For being a block away Zoro was quite frustrated to arrive there almost two hours later.

He walked through the horribly decorated lounge of the hotel and told the blue haired okama at the desk he wanted to see Sakura.

She placed a large bottle of thick viscous pink and grey swirled liquid on the counter. The label was gold embossed and looked very classy. It read simply "Pink Haze" on the front. The back had a design of a rose and a small sentence. "Putting the D in Desire for those who need to see what they wish."

"Sakura-chan only sees visitors that have over 50,000 beli cash and bring a bottle of this with them."

Zoro started to reach the bottle, knowing he didn't have that much beli on him but figuring he would play the situation by ear. The "woman" looked like she knew that too.

"It doesn't cost that much but she wants the chance to talk you into leaving the rest with her I think. You'd be surprised how many do. But the wine you purchase up front."

He grumbled as he pulled out the fee she indicated and took the key offered and bottle in return. Sakura was apparently a very strange and expensive person to visit.

"Have you seen a blond man come here to visit her?"

"She has seen anyone with 50,000 and a bottle of that. She keeps upping her price when people find out she is worth it and there are still so many…so I don't remember any particular person. Sorry sweetie."

Oh great the cook had visited a whore. He had probably just given his only money up to chase a dead end lead.

He found the door matching the key and unlocked it without bothering to knock. Why else had they given him the key?

"Hello? " He called in uncertainly as he entered. No response.

Immediately in front of the door was a huge garish pink room with a garishly pink bed.

On that garish pink bed was an okama with long wavy blond hair and a white dress, asleep, a real blush under all that make up from the bottle in her fingers (twin to the one the swordsman was carrying) and looking like a fake fairy tale princess if one leg hadn't fallen off the bed and spread the legs apart in a very unladylike fashion and revealing familiar hairy legs. Not that the curly brow hadn't tipped him off instantly.

Sanji was Sakura-chan.

Zoro glared at the spectacle alseep in front of him. Sanji would never let himself get this way if he had been here.

"Oi! What happened to you?"

Sanji woke up with a start and brushed a hand through his long hair before taking another drink from the bottle in his hands and looking at Zoro. He smiled.

"Nothing…just catching up on my beauty rest. You understand." A wink. "Not that you need it."

Zoros mouth dropped to the floor. What the fuck was this!?!!?!? Did the shit cook lose his freaking mind? He clenched his fist really more in anger than concern. What had this island made him do?

"Sakura-chan" moaned lightly as she stretched and pulled herself out of the bed in what Zoro was sure a very rehearsed provocative movement. The light sway clued the swordsman in that the chef was still a little under the influence.

Suddenly that face he had last seen in battle, pissed and frustrated that the battle wasn't going their way was in his face with a flirtatious smile as those long fingers plunged in his pockets, stroking the shadow of his groin as they searched for the nonexistent money. She pouted even as Zoro panicked and pushed his crewmate away.

"Shit! What is wrong with you?!"

She seemed to change then… still slightly drunk but with a more sober familiarity she was pulling a cigarette from a box of smokes on a nearby dresser and sitting in the over the top embroidered chair, sliding one leg over the other and letting the elegant high heel in the air nod toward his green haired guest. She lit the cigarette exactly like Sanji before battle and Zoro found himself confused.

"No…what is wrong with you Shitty-okama? Finally this shit works as advertised…" He tossed the bottle back onto the bed in disgust. "Someone comes in that looks like him…something that would have made you the luckiest damn okama on this damn island and yet you come into my room with NO money?" Sanji laughed coldly like he was on the verge of tears. "The fucked up thing is I am tempted to let you have what you want anyway…since I have no idea if he is even fucking alive. Then again I can't find out for myself until I earn enough money to build a freaking boat! Money I won't be getting from you…apparently."

So that was it. It was relief and pain and annoyance all at once. He wanted to go over there and rip the long hair off him, take him in his arms, kiss him, and then head butt the idiot. The shit cook actually believed that wine would make him see what wasn't there. He was seeing Zoro but thinking it was just an illusion with okama underneath? Well it was the Grandline he supposed…and for someone looking for an escape he might be more prone to believe crap like this.

"Idiot. He wouldn't like it that you were selling yourself to other men."

"He'd understand I'm doing what I need to do to get back to the crew." The blond took a drag on the cigarette before continuing. "Not that he's ever going to know. I was forced into this damn dress and this damn name by waking up in the wrong damn place under the Sakura. When I leave…I am leaving all this shit behind. The wine has killed most of the memory already…"

This had already gone on long enough, in Zoros opinion. He was going to bring Sanji back. Not whatever the island had twisted him into. Sanji.

"You know there was someone else in the lobby waiting for you…a dumb looking green haired swordsman…something about you knowing where his cook might be. He might have money…should I go send him up?" Zoro questioned with a smirk he prayed wouldn't give him away.

The look on the cook face made this little ruse to save the idiots pride 100% worth it.

Sanji stood up at once and stood there gaping at him…panic and hope crashing behind his eyes.

"WHAT!? Yes…! Yes! Send him up!!"

Zoro nearly snickered as he was practically pushed out the door and into the hallway to go fetch himself.

He stood there against the opposite wall with the smile on his face as he heard the cook swear, rush about, drawers being torn open, a shower going on and then off a few seconds later, followed by more rushed panic.

Deciding it had been enough time and stood back in front of the door.

"This one? Okay, thanks!" He called outside the door to the nonexistent okama who hadn't shown him the way. A knock on the door. "Oi!!? I was told you might know where our perverted chef might be…"

Sanji opened the door, not Sakura.

"Marimo?" He breathed in…like he still wasn't sure.

The long hair, dress, make up, everything okama about him gone…instead it was just the chef fresh from the shower in the same outfit he'd last seen him in. Zoro breathed a sigh of relief to see him standing there, smoking a cigarette with that detached coolness like he hadn't just been tipsy, in drag and trying to get into his pants for money ten minutes before.

This was the nakama he was looking for.

"Did you get lost, shit-cook?"

"I'm not you!!!" He responded indignantly but he was already being pulled into Zoros hug. The blond was stunned for a minute before returning the embrace tightly.

"Aren't you embarrassed, hugging a guy like this?"

I don't want to hear that from you after what you have been doing.

"Not unless there is an okama in there you'd rather see me hug? Your Sakura-chan perhaps?"

"Sorry, Marimo… you just missed her…but I don't mind taking her place this one time."