Soooo, I wasn't planning on updating this month until I finished NaNoWriMo, but I made a deal with horseyyay that if I updated this, that she'd update one of her stories. It was way too good a deal to pass up on, so here I am. And if you're a fan of horseyyay, then you're welcome in advance. *grin*
So, thank you all for keeping with this story, and please
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Chapter 25
It had been a year, and I was ready to go back. Maeglin was most certainly not happy, and neither was Finrod, but they were willing to accept since they had no choice really. It had been a difficult farewell for all of us, and I had just climbed onto Esgalnoron when a guard suddenly ran out and handed me a sheet of paper, staring at Esgalnoron before hastily backing away. I nodded and opened the parchment as Esgalnoron took off, reading the note within.
Caladiel:
Perhaps it is presumptuous of me, but I must ask you to do this for me. Please take this message to Elwë of Doriath, and make sure that no one but he reads it. Please, do this for me, Caladiel. Be safe, and may the Valar protect you.
Finrod Felagund, king of Nargothrond.
I looked at the enclosed envelope sealed with his mark, and put it carefully into one of my innermost pockets, bending down to speak with Esgalnoron. Faelon slept quietly in one of my pockets, while Thurwething sat stiffly behind me.
"Esgalnoron, we have to make a stop at Doriath. I don't really want to, but it is necessary. No need for you to go inside, just wait for me." I said, and he nodded to let me know that he had understood. I ignored his curious pulse over the mental link and looked back to see Thurwething give me a brief nod to show she had heard. When we finally landed on the outskirts of Doriath, I slid off and handed Faelon to Thurwething, pausing at the borders of the forest. Would Melian's girdle let me through?
Making sure that my light was out and the letter safely in my pocket, I reached out a hand and searched for the tell-tale aura of power that would signal the girdle. It was faint, for mortals would never feel it, but I would be able to since I was actively searching for it. I walked through the forest, getting only three meters in when I felt the power ripple by my disturbance. I paused, making myself get accustomed to the patterns of magic that rippled all around and bend, moving like slow, thick liquid, heavy and powerful. Then I moved on. It grew thicker the more I waded in, but one touch with my light and it would part like ice before a flame. Soon I had carved my way through it and was in a clearing, the girdle still rippling behind me.
I knew that Melian would have felt my disturbance, and possibly even recognized what had caused it. Like calls out to like. I caught my breath and moved on warily and silently, making my way to the large stone palace that I could see in the distance. It was certainly impressive in its own way, and as I reached it I realized that it was carved out of one large mountain of stone, with entrances leading underground. Menegroth, the kingdom of caves. Much like Nargothrond.
Hesitating for a moment, I slipped into the shadows of the entrance and made my way past the guards, melting into the halls and making my way towards the throne room. It was quiet, sounds muffled by the thick tapestries that decorated the walls, obviously put there for that purpose. Judging by the designs on them, I'd say some of them were probably made by Melian herself.
I finally made my way to a door guarded by two ellyn, alert and ready. With a faint smile, I made my way boldly to the entrance and paused in front of them as they looked at me. "I am here to deliver a message to lord Elu Thingol of Doriath." I said softly.
"A message from whom, and from whence do you hail?" One of them asked harshly.
"A message from my lord Finrod Felagund. I am Caladiel, one of his people." I answered truthfully and calmly, and they opened the door and let me through. I stepped forwards and glided towards the front of the hall where the pale-haired, blue eyed Elwë sat regally next to a dark-haired, deep blue-eyed female that radiated power. Deep blue eyes bored into me, and I curtseyed at the door of the throne.
"Lord Elwë. I bring a message from my lord Finrod Felagund." I said emotionlessly, using both hands to present the letter to him, head down. He took the envelope from me and nodded as I stepped back.
"Indeed. You have my thanks." He said in a clear dismissal, and I made to back away when a voice stopped me.
"And what is your name, may I ask?" The question was said kindly, with a touch of knowledge behind it. I looked into the wondering blue eyes of Melian, and smiled faintly at her.
"My name is Caladiel." I answered simply, and the meaning of my name was enough to answer her hidden question.
"Will you not stay with us for a while before returning? It is a long journey." Melian did not say where to, and I knew that it was a hidden request to tell her of myself.
"Would that I could accept your generosity, my lady, but I am afraid that cannot. My errand was commanded to be swift, and I must return." I said regretfully, and she nodded, but never got to bid me farewell.
"And would you stay on my request, fair lady?" Another voice rang out, and I froze, the blood slowly leeching out of my cheeks. I curtseyed in the direction of the voice, not daring to look at its owner.
"I'm afraid not, my lord. I thank you for your invitation, and I am glad to see that you are well." I said, and swiftly made towards the door.
"Farewell, Caladiel." Melian covered my escape as the doors closed behind me, and I fled through the rest of the hallways and out into the forest until I hit the girdle, this time feeling it give automatically to my exit. I burst out and bent over, panting, as Esgalnoron lumbered over in concern.
"I'm fine." I gasped, gulping air. "Just had an unpleasant near run-in with Beleg." I managed, and climbed back on as he took off once more towards the three mountains of Thangorodrim that loomed ominously in the distance. Oh, I hope that master won't be in a bad mood.
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The halls were as dark as ever. Thurwething glided alongside me, Faelon was strung to my neck, and Esgalnoron curled around my shoulders under my hood that was thrown over my head. The throne room was as cold as ever, my breath coming out in puffs of ice crystals and my hands becoming blocks of frozen lead. With a faint sigh, I bowed before the throne, taking a brief peek at the battle that still raged with the exact same intensity as before.
Obviously this was a so-so day for Morgoth, as he seemed neither pleased nor infuriated. "Report." He droned, and I fell to one knee as I began.
"Their numbers have neither decreased nor increased since the last time, master, and their forces have also remained the same in number. Turgon's heir and grandson turned ten while I was there." I said blankly, and paused, waiting for either a scolding, praise, or another question.
"I see, that is enough for now." He said, and then seemed to see me for the first time. "Send her away and come here." He said, and I glanced to Thurwething who bowed silently to Morgoth and made her way out silently with a flutter of her black cape. I sat down on his feet, and he flicked back my hood as I opened my light. He stroked my hair for a moment, obviously in thought, and his eyes noted the lace around my throat. A brief smirk crossed his face before he moved lower and tilted my face to his. I looked at him obediently, using it as an excuse to see if Melkor had won any ground.
His face was the same, however, and his pitch black eyes stared at me as his clammy, cold, burnt hand stroked my cheek. "So, have you made any progress with Ancalagon, my pet?" He drawled.
"Yes, master." I answered, unable to help the blood that rushed to my face. Of course, he looked at me with a chuckle, interpreting that the wrong way.
"Good, good." He said, and dropped the topic, to my never-ending relief. To my faint surprise, after another moment he let me go. With a bow, I pulled my hood back over my head and made my way warily out of the hall, senses alert for any irate Nirad. Rushirithir was still on guard at the door, and I paused in front of the door just long enough to make the balrogs slightly uncomfortable before moving on. I made my way down to the werewolf den, a pit in the ground where the huge mongrels tussled, fought, snarled, and bred and were bred. For a moment I stared down at the snarling beasts, noting the orcs that guarded them, before letting my eyes roam the pit.
~There. The one with the large bone.~ Esgalnoron suddenly said. ~I can sense it.~
I looked to the one he pointed out, the only one not squabbling but rather gnawing on a large bone. His soul, from what I could see, was definitely clean, though very darkly coated with the tarry substance. But the light shone through the thick tar, and it was enough for me. I turned to one of the orcs, who snapped to attention, and I nodded down to the pit.
"I'm looking for a possible steed." I said harshly. "Show me that one." I jerked a hand in the direction of the werewolf, and the Orc turned to the others, snapping commands. I watched dispassionately as they roped the large beast and dragged it out of the pit, thrashing and snarling. I walked over to it and ignored the orcs, walking right up to the werewolf and grabbing its muzzle in both hands. It thrashed, but I merely let go so that it hit its skull against the floor. It paused in dizziness, and I motioned for the orcs to leave. They scurried away.
"The lieutenant is strong."
The werewolf stopped and looked up at me, eerily intelligent orange eyes looking at me. "But the master is stronger." He replied in a low, raspy voice. It sounded like gravel in a metal bucket.
"Caladiel." I said quietly.
"Braigon." He answered.
"I know. Keep an eye out for anything, and report to Sauron." I pitched my voice low, and he gave an indiscernible nod. "I choose you." I said loudly, and then slapped his flank so that he snarled before leaping back into the pit and growling up at me with teeth bared and a murderous gleam in his eyes. Then I turned and walked back out quietly.
~Another Faithful added.~ Esgalnoron said in satisfaction, and I nodded in agreement.
Norgaladir was waiting in my quarters, and I looked at him questioningly as the heavy stone shut. He plunged into the report without any further ado. "I don't know what you said to Gothmog, but he had a fall-out with Nirad and there is currently only three left including Nirad." He began, and I froze in the middle of pulling off a boot.
~Valar be praised.~ Esgalnoron said heavily.
"Násië." I hissed out loud.
"No other Balrog recruits so far, the work in the lower levels is on time and going well. Nothing of interest, and the lists are on your desk." He said, and I nodded.
"Thank you, Norgaladir. I knew I could depend on you." I said gratefully, and he nodded before lumbering back out, clutching his whip in his hand. I glanced at the stone table piled with paperwork before sighing wearily as the door clapped shut with a deafening boom. The lava sent eerie flickers of light across the walls, and I sat there in the warmth of them, flopping back on the bed and closing my eyes wearily. Esgalnoron and Faelon lay on the bed, either eying me or sleeping.
"It took you long enough." A voice grumbled, and I shot up to see Sauron standing at the doorway to his own room and looking at me with arms crossed. I leaped up and lunged for him, flying at him with such force that he took a step back as I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried myself into his chest.
"Ada! Ada, Ada, Ada, oh I missed you so much Ada I could hardly wait to get home." I blurted, feeling tears of relief rise to my eyes. "Oh Ada I love you." I said, and his arms wrapped around me before his hand came up and cupped my chin in his palm, his nail clamps poking my cheek. I smiled up at him in tearful happiness, and he bent, pressing a kiss to my temple. When he pulled back, there was a soft look in his eyes even if there wasn't any other expression on his face.
"Where were you?" He asked, searching my face carefully.
"I was at the Sirion for three years, then I spent a year at Nargothrond." I answered, and he nodded absently before dragging a thumb clamp over my cheek. My lips parted as I closed my eyes and just breathed him in, his scalding heat, the smell of his breath, burnt ash. His thumb clamp slowly moved over my lower lip, and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with an intensely obsessive look in his half-lidded eyes. I smiled dreamily, and he smirked lazily even as he tapped my nose. I didn't care if he was obsessive. I wanted that. It was the closest thing to paternal love I could get. I needed it. I loved him, no matter what anyone says about him. He's my Ada.
"I'll do the paperwork for you if you'll continue overseeing the lower levels." He murmured, and I nodded.
"Okay." I mumbled half-coherently, and he waved a hand over my eyes hypnotically. "Sleep." He purred, and my eyelids fluttered shut obediently, falling into the darkness of empty dreams.
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The blue flame flickered in front of me, sending tendrils of soothing comfort to my mind and soul. It whispered to me quietly, softly.
Be strong. Gather your strength and will, for the time is coming soon, Caladiel. Remember no matter what happens He will never leave you nor forsake you. Blessed are ye if ye are not offended with Him.
I know. I'm not. I trust Him- please, just make the war come soon. I want this over with. I want master to be freed. Please, lead me home...
You have not yet found the answers, Caladiel. Find the answers.
I've been trying, honest! I just have figured it out yet... I'm sorry...
I know. Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. You have not because you ask not, Caladiel. All things work together for good to them that love Him, to them who are called according to His purpose. Be strong...
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I woke up suddenly with a start, breathing heavy but even, and noticed that my whole body was covered with a thin layer of sweat. Honestly it surprised me, because as an elf it took a lot to make me break out in a sweat, and I admitted that the dream must have troubled me more than I realized.
As I slowly calmed down, my mind flashed back to last night, and with a sudden hiss of irritation, I sat bolt upright- and continued on over double with a whimper of pain. My muscles were stiff and cramping, and I reached over to give a wolf Esgalnoron a shove. He woke up with a start and a grunt, looking over to me and immediately sitting up.
"Push me into the lava." I gasped before he could ask me what was wrong, and without questioning me he grabbed the scruff of my cloak and gingerly trotted over to the lava by the walls, dropping me in. My skin hissed and crackled, but it worked. My muscles immediately loosened, and I clambered back out with lava dripping everywhere and hitting the floor with clacks.
After getting rid of the rocky suit and cleaning myself off, I went over to Sauron's door and shoved it open so that it hit the wall. He looked up from his desk calmly, then looked back down. "What was that for?" I demanded, glaring at him through black locks of hair.
"You were falling asleep anyway." He dismissed my statement with a wave of the hand.
"That doesn't mean you had to send me into a veritable coma." I snarled, and he raised an eyebrow at me.
"And obviously you woke up on the wrong side of bed." He said dryly.
I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I don't like being sent into a coma." I pointed out reasonably.
"You can thank me later for allowing you to sleep without trouble when you've seen the rational side of things." Was his lazy reply. I groaned and slammed the door shut, walking silently over to the desk where the stacks of papers were gone and instead had a dagger sticking out of it. I picked it up and immediately dropped it in the next moment when it seemingly fell to pieces in my hand with the blade still stuck in the stone. For a moment I stared down at it, and then my eyes narrowed at the familiar sheen of metal that glinted in the orange light.
Picking the handle up, I carefully held it to the blade, and it slid back into place with a smooth click and pull. Then I pushed the blade forwards and slid it out of the stone, staring at it. It was a magnetic blade, and the assassin in me immediately saw the sheer genius of it. With the magnetic properties, I could easily throw just the double edged blade at my target without having to worry about the hilt, and then use the magnetic hilt to easily slide it back out. Or I could even use just the hilt for its weight to knock someone out easily.
The hilt had the symbol of a wolf head on it, and I stared at the distinctive mark, briefly thinking of Esgalnoron. With a sigh, I slid the knife safely into my belt and pocketed Faelon, glancing at Esgalnoron. "Staying?" I asked lowly, and in response he morphed into a dragon and crawled into one of my voluminous pockets. For a moment I stared at the door with a blank look, calculating time. Maybe a few years. It was getting close, and the timeline had changed to drastically I wasn't even sure if the War would come early or later that it was in canon. Curling my lip briefly, I opened the door and walked out, heading for the throne room.
A memory suddenly rushed into my head of when I was fifteen again on earth with family. Or at least, my mother. I could recall that my father had died in military service when I was twelve. It had been a blow for the both of us, but we had moved on knowing that he was in a better place and we would see him again. A small smile flitted at the corner of my lips as I remembered the times I would hole myself up in my room and just sing quietly with my headphones on to cheer myself up.
When I walked into the throne room, it was to the faint melody of Pentatonix's Get Lucky floating through my head, to which I could tell that Esgalnoron was listening with me interestedly. As I knelt in front of Morgoth silently, I privately resolved to find a quiet place to hum to myself after this meeting was over.
"Sit, pet." Morgoth said absently, and I sat beside his feet, close to his leg. He reached down and clamped a hand around my throat, stroking the piece of lace and making me face him so that my hood fell off. For a moment his grip tightened and a flash of panic flowed through me, but then he let go and resumed studying the skin of my throat and collarbones, apparently. Then he let go.
"You know, I wonder if an iron collar would bruise your skin, my pet. After all, at least once in a while I like to put my favorites in chains and show them off proudly." He said with a dark chuckle, looking down at me to see my expression. I looked up at him blankly and blinked.
"You are the master." I answered blankly.
"Indeed." Was his only answer as he tented his fingers and fell into thought. "I heard you chose a werewolf for a steed." He said, implicitly demanding an explanation.
"In case a thing happens to Esgalnoron, master. And I should at least have one to call my own if I'm the daughter of the lord of werewolves." I answered blandly, and he subsided with a nod, mollified by my explanation.
"I see." He murmured, clearly forgetting me. I sat there patiently, waiting to be dismissed. After another moment or so, he flicked his fingers towards the left of his throne, and an Orc came forwards warily. "Measure her throat for a collar." He ordered, and the Orc hesitated, looking at my expressionless face warily. Morgoth glanced over and 'tsk'ed. "My pet won't hurt you. Now measure." He ordered, and the Orc came forwards.
When I made no move towards him, he gathered his courage and took out a piece of string, and I lifted my hair so that he could mark it off with the string. Then he hastily bowed under my unblinking stare and backed away, disappearing. Morgoth grunted and dismissed me with a look, and I stood and bowed, gliding out the doors and pausing as they boomed behind me, deep in thought.
~I'll die before I allow myself to be chained like a dog.~ I snarled inwardly, and Esgalnoron stirred in my pocket.
~You may not have a choice.~ He pointed out darkly.
Almost without realizing it, I turned and stared at the floor, my fangs peering out from my lips in a snarl. ~We'll see about that.~ I answered, and then dropped the issue, moving away from the shifting balrogs.
"Is it just me, or does that look only appear when she's seriously ticked off about something?" The second Balrog asked Rushirithir. I scoffed inwardly and ignored them, making my way to the small, dark room where I had met with Ancalagon a few times, standing there in silence with my hood pulled back and white hair making the single bright spot in the room.
I sighed wearily. "I gave you the key when the door wasn't open, just admit it. See I gave you faith, turned your doubt into hoping; can't deny it. Now I'm all alone and my joy's turned to moping. Tell me here, where are you now when I need you?" I sang quietly, wondering who exactly I was addressing.
~Eru maybe?~ Esgalnoron suggested, and I shook my head.
~No.~ was all I said, and we fell into quiet thought. My fingers absently traced the patterns on the wall that I could make out in the dim torchlight, placing my palms flat on the wall as I thought. Then I pressed myself against the wall, placing my forehead against it.
~I wonder what Melkor is like.~ I thought absently. ~What would he be like?~
~Beautiful.~ Esgalnoron replied. ~I saw him once before in the Timeless halls, and also once during the wars of the Valar when I was captured before he took on that hideous form.~ He said promptly.
~Like this?~ I pulled up a mental image of a picture I had seen drawn during my time.
~Well the hair color is wrong, because he isn't that blonde. He is really pale blonde, like the sun at dawn just coming up. Although the robes are quite right. He did like rainbows at first.~ He said in an ironical tone. I sighed.
~Well I'm trying to help him like them again.~ I answered.
Just then, I realized that there was a shadow cast over me that there hadn't been before. With a blink, I turned to see Ancalagon silhouetted in the doorway. For a moment I looked at him blankly, then took a faltering step forwards. A thick, awkward silence settled.
My mouth opened. "Ancalagon."