Chapter Twenty-Five

"You said what?"

"I know. I'm a fool."

"He said that, and that was your reply?"

"I'm not a romantic, Cassi, I'm a Ravenclaw."

"That hasn't stopped me."

"You've always been more put-together about these things than I have. You could have convinced anyone to be with you. It's no surprise Amos Diggory noticed."

"Hazel, you have to talk to him. Write to him, or- or something."

"I can't, Cassi. I just can't. And that's the last I'd like to speak of Sirius Black."

Things went from bad to worse with Sirius and I. I wanted to pretend our easy friendship still existed, but the truth was, it didn't. That admiration he'd had for me in September had vanished, and now he only spoke to me in Charms, and even that was only when required. The other Marauders noticed; James was quiet around me, and now and then I would see him glaring from the Gryffindor table while Sirius looked somberly downward. Remus was still alright with me; we would meet in the library now and then and study. I couldn't seem to figure out a way to fix it, and he said the only way was to be honest with Sirius about my feelings for him, whatever those were. But every time I had them figured out enough to say anything, Sirius would act moody around me, and I would lose my courage. Not to mention he was back on his dating sprees.

Meanwhile, my classes were doing wonderfully, and the map was halfway done by the end of November. We put it away until after the New Year, and called off any more meetings for the map- meaning I had no reason to go see them, and that caused an ache in my chest I couldn't deny. My other friendships grew for it, though, in that Cassi and I were more open with each other- heartache does that to you, makes you want to talk to someone- and Yumi and Bartram and I had an easy, joking manner on the pitch. I skipped out of Hogsmeade visits, however; I didn't feel like going to see everyone happy and in love while I sat lonely and miserable. Cassi and Amos were so involved with each other that it was impossible to spend time with either of them, and Yumi had been meeting with that Adonis fellow every chance she got (even when she wasn't authorized to, having found a secret passage to Hogsmeade through a vase).

It was Yumi's secret vase that led to Sirius and I reconciling.

The old excitement pulsing through me that early December day, I raced through the halls during my free period, seeing other students pelt each other with the fresh-fallen snow and play in it outside the corridors. I reached the stairs and went up seven flights without pausing or growing breathless and then paced the corridor in an excited flurry. The door appeared and I raced in- to see Sirius.

He glanced up from the table in surprise, and then his expression turned cold for a heartbeat, and then forlorn. He sighed and looked back down, continuing whatever he was working on. We hadn't really spoken since that night in the corridor, two weeks ago. It had been a month since we were really and truly on good terms; it had been a month since I could relax with someone who had been one of my closest friends, and one of the people I could most easily get along with, for whatever reason. It was as if the spark had vanished.

Wordless, I crossed the room and withdrew the map from its shelf. Sirius looked up then. "What are you doing?"

"Found a secret passage to Hogsmeade," I answered, tone crisp and clipped. "Thought it should be on the map."

Sirius nodded and turned back to his work as I sat down, spreading out the map.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Work."

There goes that conversation, then. I found the vase and marked it, and then reluctantly began to fold the map back up, realizing I had nought else to do.

"Sulking," Sirius added, surprising me, as I put the map back up. I turned around, leaning one hand on the table.

"Why is that?"

He looked up from his work and met my eyes. "Because I met this fantastic girl and it took me four years to grow a pair and get to know her, and after I did, I was still an ass to her, and now she doesn't talk to me."

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest; I couldn't form coherent thoughts. I didn't know why he suddenly had this effect on me again. "Do I know her?"

"Oh, yes, quite well, I think. Do you know yourself?"

"Thought you'd say something like that. Sirius, I've been thinking you didn't want to talk to me; that's why I didn't talk to you."

A flash of astonishment crossed his features, and then I saw a light reappear in his eyes. He smiled and stood. "Hazel, I would like to formally invite you to the Marauder's Christmas Party, the same evening as Slughorn's, but better and with more fun and less pompous know-it-all's."

"So, less of the Ravenclaw house?"

He chuckled. "Precisely. Are you in?"

A smile I hadn't expected crossed my face and I walked over to him. "I would love to. And you aren't going to be angry about the Snape thing?"

He shook his head, his smile remaining. "I thought about it, and my reaction to that was… Well, I was an ass. I understand why you did that, and if you'll agree to be my date to the Marauder's party, I'll forgive you."

I grinned, surprising both of us by taking his hand. "Gladly."

After that, Sirius and I had almost magically alleviated the awkwardness between us. The next day in Charms, we were both joking and laughing like we used to, and we actually accidentally soaked Flitwick in water when that same water-spout spell went a little too well. It was the end-of-term review, a test to make sure we were all where we were supposed to be. I had mastered non-verbal charms; non-verbal in Defense Against the Dark Arts, however, wasn't going as well. I had plans with Remus that afternoon to remedy that.

We met in the Room of Requirement after supper to find James and Sirius in there on broomsticks, having extended the ceiling up, playing some quidditch game of their own creation. Remus and I began practicing, and something just felt… Right.

This was the easy life I had come to know as my sixth year at Hogwarts, spending time with the Marauders in our own little hideaway, an extra allowed into a secret group by pure luck. Sirius and I being on good terms was helping my spirit as well. Cassi would be proud of me.

After perfecting a non-verbal protego, Remus helped me practice conjuring a patronus, and then we called it a night. I hugged everyone goodbye- even James, riding my good mood- and then headed back to Ravenclaw Tower. In the common room, I collapsed onto an armchair, next to a couch with cuddling Pandora and Xeno, while Yumi sat on the floor with Cassi, the two gossiping.

"Ah, the eternally absent Hazel returns," Yumi greeted me. "Off breaking Gryffindors' hearts again?"

"Cassi, what did you say?"

Cassi chuckled. "Just that Sirius Black has been all upset since you told him you weren't going to the Christmas party with him."

I grinned and leaned close to them. "Well, keep it between us, but- Sirius and a few friends are throwing their own Christmas party, and he invited me as his date."

I was trying not to let myself be excited about it, but after telling Cassi and Yumi that, neither let me stay calm about it. Cassi leapt up with a squeal. "He did?! You said yes, right? Tell me you said yes!"

"I said yes."

"Oh, my gosh, Hazel, this is great! So you're finally admitting to yourself that you fancy him?"

"I don't fancy him. I don't know how I feel about him yet."

"Oh, come on," Yumi said, playfully exasperated, "Tell me the thought of those grey eyes don't make you swoon, the color of shale and thunderclouds-"

"They're cinder," I corrected, and then blushed as the other two laughed.

"Yeah, Yumi," Cassi said, grinning, "They're cinder. And Hazel's been thinking about them all year. Those cinder eyes, and ebony locks wavy from the wind, and that lean, pale body, probably with a trail of dark hair leading down from his navel-"

"Stop!" I protested. "I'm not- if I were to fancy him, it wouldn't just be because he's good-looking. Remus is good-looking and I don't fancy him."

"Remus? Remus Lupin?" Yumi inferred. "The boy with the scars?"

"Hey! That isn't fair to him. He isn't just the 'boy with the scars.' He's an amazing fellow, and he's smarter than almost anyone else I've met."

Yumi cocked an eyebrow at Cassi, who shook her head and said, "Very well. So Hazel's a personality person, then. So, what traits of his have drawn you in?"

"I'm not drawn in."

"Okay, then, say you were going to convince someone to be with him- what would you tell them?"

I don't want someone to be with him. "That he's an ass. That he can be daft, and rude, and assumptive-"

"Okay, if you were trying to convince your mother she should let you date him."

I sighed. "I wouldn't, though."

"Hypothetically!" Yumi exclaimed. "If you were to want to, how would you convince her to let you?"

I groaned, glancing at the fire. "I would tell her- I would tell her that he's handsome, for sure, but more than that, he's loyal. He would die for his friends if they needed him to. He's got a sense of humor that matches mine, and he's willing to have fun. He's more creative than he's given credit for. He's intelligent, and, without a doubt, one of the most talented and brave wizards I know."

"Why is that?" Cassi asked, and I realized she and Yumi both were staring me down with curiosity. My cheeks reddened.

"Because he can conjure a patronus, and has been able to. He's able to tackle some of the most difficult magic in the whole wizarding universe, and he's not even a seventh-year yet."

"And why is he so brave?" Yumi pressed.

"I… You would have to get to know him to see it, but I can tell there's something from his past that he conquered, some darkness. On top of that, as I said, he'll do anything for his friends. Not anything bad- he has more integrity than that- but if James Potter and Remus Lupin were to run into the field of battle, he would be by their side without a doubt."

Cassi gave me a questioning look. "Is that why you're so adamant about fighting this Voldemort threat yourself?"

"Don't say his name," Yumi snapped quietly.

"Why?"

"Because," Yumi glanced between us. "It's bad luck. Adonis was talking about it at Hogsmeade-"

"Oh, Adonis," Cassi teased, rolling her eyes and grinning. "And he can do no wrong, can he?"

"Cassi, I'm serious-"

Cassi laughed. "I believe you, Yumi. Just trying to lighten the mood."

I chuckled briefly and then looked over at the fire. For a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of a phoenix. It wasn't going to end now, or any time soon, I could tell; this uprising would only burn more before it burned out.

But that night as I lie in bed, I had something much more exciting to think about.

The clock rang twelve, and Cassi leaned her head over the top bunk to look down at me.

"Happy birthday, Hazel!"

A/N: Also in honor of Alan, two chapters in one day!