When Santana heard the phone ring the following afternoon of Sam and the children's shopping expedition, she groaned, in no mood to chase after it. Although it was late afternoon, late enough that Antonia was already home from preschool and Stevie would soon need picked up as well, she was not feeling very well and didn't feel in the mood to talk to anyone, with the exception of Sam or her mother. She had felt somewhat crampy and nauseous for most of the day and was driving herself crazy worrying about it. Until Antonia had needed picking up, she had been googling her symptoms and only making herself worry further about all the potentially dark reasons for her discomfort. She had spent the last several minutes on the toilet, hoping that this would alleviate her symptoms, when the phone started to ring persistently.
"Mami, someone's calling you!" Antonia hollered to her, little feed thudding down the hallway as she came to stand outside the bathroom door. She knocked on it, as though her mother could not hear her the first time she had spoken and needed extra reminders of her existence.
"Who is it, Toni?" Santana called back to her, suppressing her urge to groan again. Why was it that people always seemed to want to call when you were on the toilet, having sex, or in the shower?
"I can't read, Mami!" Toni reminded her, sounding appalled that her mother had forgotten this. "Except some words. Plus this don't got letters, just numbers."
Just numbers? That meant that it wasn't a number that was programmed into Santana's phone. Well, Santana could be thankful that Stevie wasn't joining in on the clamor too.
"I'll call them back later, Toni," Santana told her. She had meant for her daughter to let the phone ring without answering it, but Toni didn't seem to understand this.
"Okay, I'll tell them!" she said brightly. Before Santana could object, she could hear her daughter's little voice from the other side of the bathroom door as she answered the phone.
"Hello? I'm Antonia Cristina Lopez. Are you calling my mami? She's using the bathroom right now but she says she'll call you back. It might be a while though 'cause she's gonna have a baby and she's in the bathroom a lot now."
"Toni!" Santana hissed, smacking the palm of her hand against her forehead in exasperation. What was it with her child not seeming to understand what was and wasn't acceptable to share with total strangers? Then again, if this was a salesperson, it would undoubtedly get them off the phone fast.
She had stopped paying attention to her daughter until she heard her voice rise up with what sounded like surprise, and a little bit of stern reprimand.
"Oh. Well I'm not s'pposed to talk to you no more. My mami and daddy and Stevie all said so. So I can't talk to you."
The hair prickled on the back of Santana's neck as she heard this. Trying to keep her voice calm, she called out, "Toni, who is it?"
But if Toni heard or understood her, she ignored her, intent on her current conversation with the person on the other line.
"Oh….but I'm not s'pposed to," she repeated, her voice doubtful. "'Cause you're mean to my mami and you were mean to me too when I was a baby. You didn't want to be my daddy even though you're my father. Mami told me that, you know. How come you didn't want to be my daddy? I'm a nice girl, I really am."
Heart pounding, a sour taste coming into the back of her throat, Santana barely kept herself from screaming with the surge of rage that seared through her chest. Kyle. It had to be. How the hell had he gotten her phone number, and how dare he call it? How dare he speak to her daughter yet again?
"Antonia Cristina, you need to hang up that phone right now!" she ordered, hastening to wipe herself and flush, but she could still hear her daughter, ignoring her and talking away earnestly.
"Uh huh, Mami is getting a new baby…you stop that. Mami and Daddy said that isn't true. He is too my daddy, he says he is! You stop it, that's being mean. No, I don't wanna do that…they will too. They will too! I don't wanna talk to you no more. Bye."
By the time Santana had pulled up her pants and thrown open the bathroom door, Antonia had ended the phone call and was standing with wide, wet eyes and trembling lips in the hallway before it, holding the phone tightly in one hand. As Santana hurried to take it from her, checking the number that had called and immediately blocking it, Antonia wrapped her little arms around one leg, burying her face against her mother's hip. Santana pushed her back just enough to look into her face, looking down at her after taking several breaths in an effort to calm her still racing heartbeat.
"Antonia Cristina, I told you to hang up that phone and I've also told you not to answer the phone unless I tell you to. I've also told you not to talk to Kyle. Why did you decide not to listen to me?"
Her face wrinkled up as she looked up at her mother, her lower lip even more unsteady as she replied in a teary tone, "Mami, don't be mad at me…he said he wanted to talk to me. He said he really, really wanted to, a whole lot. Mami, he said that he's my real daddy, not Sam, and Sam isn't never gonna be my real daddy. He said that Sam has a new baby now and he's gonna like the new baby better than me because it's his real life kid and I'm his pretend kid. He said you're not gonna have no time for me no more with the baby and I should go live with him 'cause he doesn't have any babies and I'd be the only kid. Mami…is he right? I don't wanna live with him. I wanna live with you!"
Tears began to streak down Antonia's cheeks, and she uttered a sob that was so full of fear it felt to Santana as though it had physically pierced her heart. As Antonia wrapped her arms around her waist again, hiding her face against her hip, Santana enfolded her in a fierce hug, kissing her head and forehead repeatedly as she answered her in a voice choked with emotion as much as with anger.
"No, baby, he was absolutely wrong. You're not ever living with him, not ever. Sam is your daddy, more than Kyle ever will be, because Sam chose to be your daddy. He loves you so much he wants to be your daddy just as much as he wants to be the baby's, and that makes him yours, always. I will always have time for you and I will always love my very first baby girl so very much, forever. Don't even think about what he said to you, baby girl."
Sitting down in the middle of the hall, Santana pulled Antonia into her lap, hugging her close and rocking her slightly, until she felt her daughter relax back against her, reassured. But as her daughter calmed, Santana herself could not seem to do the same.
It took every bit of self control she possessed to send Antonia into the living room to set up a movie, promising her that she would join her shortly. In that brief period of time apart from her, she texted Sam furiously, her hands shaking so badly she made several typos in her efforts.
Santana: ete home today soon as can gobao fckin kill him
Sam: …? Tana what's wrong?
Sam: Calm down, this can't be good for you and the baby. Is something wrong?
Santana: he fuciing called her he told her you aren't her dad and she shud live with him ive fucking had it this is it!
Santana: he told her that wed on't love her like the baby!
Sam: …are you talking about Kyle? Kyle and Toni?
Sam: When did he see her, what is going on?
Sam: are you both ok?
Santana: he got my # idk how, she andoered and he said that!
Sam: ok that's it. We can't put up with this anymore. Obviously he doesn't care about the guards, it's time to get an actual restraining order and official court papers with this.
Sam: It's going to be okay, babe. Are you and Toni ok?
Santana: no gonna kill hi
Santana: yes…sorry gonna be
Sam: Be home when I can, I promise
Santana: ok
Sam: love you. Kiss Toni for me
Santana: ok
88
Once Sam had come home from work that evening, it took some time for Santana to calm down. Sam had managed to distract the children by asking them to sort and fold laundry together- a task that would occupy them and also get something accomplished, though their methods of "folding" would probably be simply to bend all clothing items in half. A virgin margarita, backrub, and plenty of calming words from him had finally set Santana somewhat at ease, and she had felt ready to deal with whatever they needed to do to set Kyle straight.
But the following day sent those efforts crashing once more when a car pulled into the driveway behind Santana's, just as she had pulled in from picking Stevie up from school. Wary, but not recognizing the man who emerged from it, she had instructed the children to stay in the car as she rolled down her window just enough to be able to talk to him as she came up alongside the driver's side.
"This is private property," she informed him, eyebrow raised. "Did you want something?"
"Yes ma'am, this is for you," he informed her with a nod of his head, presenting a large manila envelope that she was had a label with her name typed across it pasted over its surface. "I was told to serve you with the following subpoena. You'll need to sign that you have received it."
"What?" Santana's second eyebrow flew up immediately to join the first as she stared at him. "Subpoena? Who the hel- who the heck is giving me asubpoena?"
"Ma'am, I just deliver the papers," the man shrugged, holding out a second paper for her to sign. "If you can sign here, I'll be on my way."
But Santana was opening the envelope hurriedly, beginning to scan the documents. She had barely gotten past the first few sentences before she was sputtering aloud, her voice rising into a near shout.
"Kyle Lathrop is serving ME papers?! For a hearing on his parental rights?! You have to be fucking kidding me!"
"Mami, you said a VERY bad word!" Antonia chimed in from the backseat, reminding her mother of the fact of her presence. Stevie, however, was not as quick to criticize as he frowned up towards Santana, worry in his expression.
"'Tana, what's wrong? What's those papers for?"
"This is bullshit!" Santana blasted, barely even hearing the children and unable to stop herself from the outburst despite the curious children behind her. "His rights as a parent, he has no rights as a parent and he gave them up of his own damn will long ago! How is this even possible to be happening?!"
"Ma'am, I don't know any of the details and I'm not the one to be asking," the man outside her window told her calmly, indicating the paper in his hand. "I just need you to sign that you received it, and then you can have your say however you see fit, you know?"
"Oh, I'll damn well have my say," Santana stormed, snatching the paper so furiously she almost tore it and writing her name in a scrawl that even she couldn't have read. "Believe me, shit is gonna get said, this is not going to happen!"
She thrust it back to the man, who inclined his head and gave a somewhat awkward wave before walking back to his truck and pulling away. Shoving the subpoena papers back into their folder, Santana started to storm out of the vehicle, forgetting entirely about the children still strapped in beside her until Stevie spoke up meekly.
"Um…'Tana…can we get out now?"
"Oh god…yes, I'm sorry, guys, sorry," Santana muttered, taking several breaths as she attempted to calm herself. "I'm just….I'm sorry, okay? Forget all the bad words I just said, I'm just, I'm really angry now, but it's not at you and it's not your fault."
"You said bad words," Antonia reminded her as Santana unbuckled her from her car seat with shaking hands, lifting her up and setting her on her feet beside her. "You are supposed to use feeling words when you're mad. You should've said I am very mad at you, Mami. Remember?"
Santana tried to smile, but it was much more of an effort than her daughter's chiding words normally would have taken. "That's right, nina, you're absolutely right. I'll do better next time."
"Are you okay, 'Tana?" a still worried Stevie asked, putting a small hand on Santana's arm and looking up at her as he bit his lower lip. "What's going on? You said that Kyle gave those papers to you?"
"What are those papers?" Toni piped up, craning her neck to try to see what her mother was holding. "Do they got mean words in them?"
Santana took another breath, trying to figure out what to say to the children. How do you explain to a four and five year old that the man who had fathered Antonia, the man that she had so carefully explained to her such a short time ago, was now trying to use his abandoned daughter as a weapon against Santana, years after it made any sense for him to truly care about her at all?
"They definitely had some words I don't like," Santana said finally, nodding. "But neither of you two need to worry about it. Sam and I will take care of it, and all we need from you two is to do your best to be the good kids we know you are already."
She managed a somewhat strained smile as she got the children out of the car, into the house, and sitting down eating a snack, Stevie's simple kindergarten homework set out before him and a coloring book set in front of Toni for when they finished. Although she knew that leaving the children alone for long was rarely a recipe for peace, she took the chance then to go into her and Sam's bedroom, shut the door, and dial his cell number. Because she usually texted rather than called him during the day, he would know that something was very wrong.
As she had thought he would, Sam answered by the second ring, almost breathless with concern. "Hey, 'Tana, what's wrong? It's not the baby, is it? It's like, way too early to already be trying to punch its way out. Or kick…wait, they come out head first, right?"
"It's not the baby," Santana managed, and then, before she was even aware that it was a possibility, she found herself bursting into tears, weeping so heavily through the phone that she could hear her own voice crackling. "I want to kill him, Sam, I want to fucking murder him for what he's done now!"
"Um, I really hope you're not talking about Stevie," Sam ventured, the uncertainty in his voice almost equal with his apprehension. "Because if Stevie did something bad enough to make you cry, then it's gotta be really, really bad."
"No, not Stevie!" Santana huffed, swiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand and sniffling loudly as she tried to collect herself. She found herself pacing back and forth across the bedroom floor, her heels clacking as she spoke. "Kyle. Fucking Kyle. Do you know what he did now, Sam? After having the nerve to call my home, to talk to my daughter and tell her the lies he did, he had someone come to us, on my property, while I'm with our children in my car, and serve me a fucking subpoena!"
Her voice rose up on the last word, a half shout, and she felt a fresh rush of tears streak down her face. From the other line, Sam was gripping the phone tightly, running his hand repeatedly through his hair and feeling helpless as to how to respond. He felt that as the man of the house, the guardian of two young children who depended on him for protection, the fiancé of a woman pregnant with his child, he should have all the answers. He should be able to keep someone like Kyle Lathrop from bothering his family. But so far the man seemed able to weasel his way through any safeguards Sam had tried to keep in place. Short of a restraining order, what else could he do? Could they even get a restraining order if they had a subpoena- didn't that mean they had to go to court whether or not they wanted to? Sam wasn't sure.
He was so worried for Santana. It hurt his heart to hear her cry, and to know that she was this upset and he had felt to keep what was hurting her and Toni from happening made him as furious as himself as at Kyle.
"Honey, try to calm down," he said somewhat helplessly, trying to control his own anger as he rubbed at the back of his neck. "It can't be good for the baby for you to be so stressed out."
"How the hell am I not supposed to be stressed out?!" Santana half shouted, making Sam flinch and regret his choice of words. "He's stalking us, he's trying to scare and confuse my daughter and take her away from me, and you think I can just stop being stressed out?!"
"Sorry, sorry," Sam said hastily. "Of course not. But Santana, you know you have to try to stay calm for the baby, and for Stevie and Toni too. Where are Stevie and Toni now?"
"They're in the kitchen," Santana said, taking a few breaths in an effort to slow her breathing. "I made sure the doors were locked, they'll be okay. But Sam, what the hell are we supposed to do? Someone actually took Kyle seriously enough that he's filing for a custody hearing for his rights to Toni. I was so damn stupid to put his name on the birth certificate, I actually thought that it would be better if she wasn't born with the stigma of no father, like people wouldn't look at her like her mother was just some stupid tramp who didn't know. If I had just swallowed my pride and left it blank, he couldn't have been able to do all this shit?"
"Hey, you can't know tthat now," Sam tried to soothe, even as he privately agreed this was probably true. "You didn't know then that Kyle would try to do all this, and you probably hoped he would come around and want to do his job. It's not your fault, Santana. None of this is anyone's fault but Kyle's."
"We have to talk to your lawyer," Santana said, her voice a little calmer now as she slowed her pacing, taking another sniffing breath. "We need to set up a case against him. Get witnesses like Mami if we have to. Toni's teachers. You know. People who know she never had a father around. And Sam, I know the bodyguard thing we were talking about sounds crazy, but maybe….maybe we really do need to think about that."
"I agree," Sam told her, and she could hear his sigh over the phone. "Here's what we'll do. If your mother is able, we'll ask if she can stay for a while, maybe even move in with us. You know she's been talking about moving out this way, and if she can stay with us for as long as it takes to find herself a place she's comfortable with, it would be a lot of help and support to you and the kids. We'll look into bodyguards, and it will be okay. We all know that the truth is Kyle is not deserving to be Toni's father and never will be. If any judge or jury is decent at their job they will see it too. They'll see how much I love her and she loves me, and they'll understand who it is that truly needs to be raising her."
As they hung up the phone, Santana was calm enough to be able to return to the children in the kitchen. Perhaps their trepidation over what had happened in the car had been enough to keep them from misbehaving, because in fact, when Santana returned to them, she could hear Stevie's little voice talking to Toni.
"It will be okay, Toni. Sammy is your daddy now and he won't let that Kyle say mean things to Santana anymore. You just make sure you don't talk to him anymore or let him come over at school or here or other places, and it will be okay."
"But Mami is very mad," she heard her daughter fretting, and her heart twisted within her chest at the worry she heard in a child who was normally carefree. It was so unfair that a four year old would have to be exposed to this kind of bullshit. Sam was right- how could any reasonable person think she should be around someone like Kyle, let alone designate him as her father?
"She's mad because he's being so bad," Stevie reassured her, and as Santana peeped around the corner, she saw that Toni had scooted her chair close to him, and Stevie was patting her arm, as though he truly were her big brother. "But they're gonna make it better, Toni. Really. Sammy always makes things better when they're bad."
Smiling at the scene, even with the sadness it provoked in her, Santana cleared her throat and stepped forward. Her head jerking up, Antonia leapt to her feet and rushed at her, throwing her arms around her mother and hugging her hard around the waist.
"You're not mad anymore, Mami? Is that Kyle gonna go away now? Did Daddy make him?"
"I'm still mad, baby, but just at Kyle and what he's doing, never at you," Santana reassured her, running a hand through her hair and smiling down at her. She looked over at Stevie and directed a smile his way too, tugging Antonia closer to him so she could ruffle his hair. "Stevie is absolutely right. This is nothing for you or Stevie to worry about, because your daddy and I are going to take care of it, and no one will ever take you away from us. Even if you're so mad you want us to go, you're stuck with us."
"I don't ever want that, Mami," Antonia said earnestly, her dark eyes round as she looked up at her. "Not never."
"Glad to hear it, baby," Santana tweaked her nose, smiling. "I don't ever want you to go away too. Now, you know that your daddy and I are going to be married, so why don't we start thinking about that? Let's see, what color do you think your flower girl dress should be? Stevie, I think you'll wear a little suit the same color as Sam's, but if you want something different, we can think about that too."
For Stevie, this was a conversation of zero interest, and he quickly escaped to the living room to start playing video games. But for Antonia, this was a conversation of intense appeal, and she happily started rattling off all her thoughts on exactly how her new frilly pretty awesomest dress should be. She spent the next twenty minutes deciding whether it should have glitter, rainbows, bows, lace, sequins, or all at the same time, and Santana had to try hard not to laugh at that image conjured into her mind.
When Sam came home that evening, both Stevie and Toni seemed more assured, although Santana notied both seeming to want to stick closer to him than usual. That evening after they had put the children to bed, they huddled together in their own bed, Santana with Sam's arms wrapped closely around her, and discussed in low voices their next plan. It was decided that neither child needed to be told about the hearing, or what could be at stake- it would only worry them more than was necessary, especially if, as they both hoped, nothing would come of it to affect Toni's life. Sam let her know what he had discussed with their lawyer, and Santana told him that Maribel had not only agreed to come to stay, but in fact was planning to be there as soon as she could pack her things.
It made Santana feel somewhat better to have a plan of action, but she knew that she would not truly be able to relax again until she heard a judge or jury say aloud for her own ears to hear that Kyle would have no rights to her daughter. The sooner that could happen, the better it would be for them all.
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