The Cutting Edge

Some Undertale Fanfic some person wrote for some reason

that person was tashhhh

25. Would You Smooch a Ghost?

A purple-skinned teenager walked along the winding cliffs of Hotland. She wore a red baseball cap that sat at a backwards-facing angle over the thick tentacles on her head. She also had on bright yellow-green cargo pants with reflective stripes, hanging by suspenders over her sailor-style school uniform shirt.

She caught sight of a monster with a diamond-shaped head leaning against the wall of a building, looking at the screen of his smartphone. She walked over and said, "Hey."

"Oh, it's you, part-timer." He looked her over. "Why are you all dressed up for work? It's Sunday."

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Do you know if we're even having work tomorrow?"

"Why wouldn't we?"

"'Cause we're a day behind schedule! How are we gonna get anything done? Did you manage to contact the project coordinator yet?"

"I don't know kid, that's not my job. Why don't you go talk to the boss about it if you're so concerned? I'm trying to watch Mettaton's show right now," he said and paid decisive attention to his phone. "I hate thinking about work on the weekends…"

She walked away from his discouraging attitude.

On another path in Hotland from which the MTT Hotel was visible, Brew, a monster made out of a black, wispy material was standing and staring down in concentration. His semi-liquid hands flexed and adjusted their grip around the replica robot leg he was holding and lining up with the golf ball on the ground. He pulled back for his final swing.

"Hey."

The tip of the boot struck the ball. It launched into the air, soared over the terrain, touched down and continued rolling. It got caught on a hill, where it rolled down the slope, away from the path, off the cliff, and into the lava.

"DAMNIT Danya, you made me mess up!"

She tagged along after him as he walked back to a vending machine on the path. A poster on the machine advertised:

MTT Golf Course
* Purchase a ball and play unlimited for only 50g!

The fine print near the bottom of the poster read:

* The MTT Golf Club is not responsible for lost or incinerated golf balls.

"Gonna buy me a new ball?" her boss grumbled.

"What?! Um…" Her black eyes quivered nervously as she started to reach into her pocket.

"Hey, I'm just kidding! Don't worry about it." He laughed it off insincerely and patted her on the back of her shoulder, while pushing a few of his own gold coins into the slot.

"Oh, ok." Her shoulders slumped as she sighed in relief.

"So, what do you want?" he asked as he retrieved the new golf ball.

"I was just wondering if everything's ready for work tomorrow? Did you manage to get a hold of the project coordinator?"

"No, I haven't managed to get a hold of him! That slippery little slimeball has been AWOL since Friday! It's a complete disaster!" His beady white eyes turned furious and steam rose from his boiling face. "I'm missing 2 days of reports and stone samples! I canceled the geoanalyst's appointment! I have to reschedule up to three weeks of work! Our project's on the verge of going under if I can't call him soon!"

"Huh," she shrunk a little while hunching her shoulders. "But, this is urgent, so why are you playing golf instead of working on it?"

"Because why should I have to cut into my weekend to deal with this crap?! Gah, I'm so stressed out. I need another game to take my mind off of this…" He took another swing at the golf course. The ball fell into the lava again.

"TEA BALLS!"

"Isn't that just gettin' you more pissed off?"

"ARGH!"

"Sorry! Can I try calling him instead?"

"There's no point! It just goes straight to the messages! Look Danya, I really don't want to hear any more about that lazy skeleton right now, so why don't you go… ask his brother, or something I don't know. Just put a lid on it!"

She trudged along the path on the way to Waterfall. As she passed the Lab she thought to herself, Doesn't anyone else care about this?

"You there!"

"Huh?!" She jumped back as an armor-clad woman jumped out of a window from the Lab and landed in front of her.

"Just where do you think you're going? Didn't I tell you not to skip school before?!" She said in a dramatic, threatening tone.

"I don't have school today, stupid! It's Sunday!"

Undyne's eye twitched. "I… knew that!" She shouted and kept grinning. "Just making sure you know not to skip school, punk!"

"Ok, I got it." Danya nodded, trying not to give away the amount of fear she felt as Undyne's scarred face towered a head above her own.

"Good!"

"Can I go now?"

"Of course you can. But I'd better not catch you slacking off again… or else I'll beat you up! Ngahahahahaha!"

As Danya walked past, Undyne said, "Hold on a sec! If you don't have school today… then why are you wearing your school uniform?"

"Because I feel like it!?"

Although flustered from her encounter with Undyne, she calmed down by the time she got to Snowdin. She had to ask around to find out where Sans lived. When she finally found it, she could hardly believe the size of the house. At first she thought the Gyftmas decorations looked good, but on closer inspection she noticed the tiny bones glued to the wreath on the door. Wow that's tacky.

She raised her arm to knock on the door. Her tentacles were so soft and floppy that she merely slapped the door without producing any loud noise. Now her suckers were stuck to the door. She wrapped her other limb around it and kicked the door with her boot.

"SO, YOU WEREN'T SATISFIED WITH BULLDOZING MY SENTRY STATION... NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO TEAR DOWN MY HOUSE?!" Boomed the voice of the skeleton behind her. She whirled around.

"Huh?! No, I—"

"I don't care what you're authorized to do this time! I, The Great Papyrus, will put an end to your destructive behavior!"

"Why are you encountering me, you weirdo?!"

"I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE THE EXERCISE."

He shot a very easy attack at her. She yanked harder and released herself from the door in time to dodge the bones, but tripped on the edge of the porch and fell into the snow. "Guah!"

[ACT]
→ * Insult

"Jerkass! Moron! Thick-skulled bonehead!"

"I don't understand… Why would you berate yourself so loudly?! Is it because you don't think you're good enough to tear down my house?!"

"I'm not here to tear down your house!"

"HEH! You expect me to believe someone who's skipping school?!"

"For the last time, I am NOT skipping school!"

"Then why are you wearing your school uniform?"

"Because this is my only clean shirt, stupid!" she yelled and slapped him in the face.

Papyrus stared at her in shock. Not because of what she said, or because she had hit him, but because she had only dealt 1 point of damage.

"Wowie! You're not very strong, huh?!" He scratched his cheekbone and looked slightly embarrassed. "It's not my style to fight weaklings. I guess I have no choice but to grant you pity!" He said and [Spare]d her.

She blushed at the insult and grumbled, "Well excuse me for not being as strong as a royal guard."

"OH NO! I'm very honored that you think that! But in fact I have yet to join the royal guard."

"You're… not a guard?"

"UNFORTUNATELY, I am still just a sentry! Surprising, I know! You would think that with all of the hard work I do they would have promoted me by now!" "Nevermind, I'm sorry I asked." "But the day will soon come when I, Papyrus, will finally capture a human, and fulfill my lifelong dream of joining the Royal Guard!" "Stop talking." "Cool! Powerful! Prestigious! Papyrus! (Did I already say my name?) FORTUNATELY for you, you were lucky enough to meet me before my inevitable explosion in popularity causes me to be surrounded constantly by so many admirers that I would never deign to notice an ordinary monster like you. But now, your unforgettable purple face will always stick out to me from the crowd!"

"I don't care! Can you help me call Sans or not?!"

"HUH, SANS WHAT ABOUT SANS?! Did you talk to him?!"

"No. Have you?"

"He hasn't answered his phone in 3 days!"

"Ok then. See ya."

"Wait! Do you have any idea what's going on?! Are you guys gonna finish the tunnel soon?! Do you think he's doing OK?!"

"I don't know! Leave me alone!"

Undyne and Alphys were hanging out on the couch at the Lab, excited to begin watching the highly anticipated sequel to Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.

Undyne was just saying, "You haven't seen this one yet?"

Alphys fidgeted with her tail and mumbled, "I wanted to watch it t-t-together with you…"

Pchnk. They both jumped when the ceiling light above their head burnt out.

"H-hold on a second, I'll go f-fix it!"

Undyne sat still where she was as Alphys went up the escalator. After a few seconds of rummaging, Alphys made a surprised noise. Undyne ran up the down-escalator to check it out.

"What the h-heck happened?!" The drawer of the desk was open, but Alphys was standing back, biting her nails and staring in surprise at her ice cream machine. Both the substance inside and the runoff dripping into the bucket were a dark, shimmering shade of crimson.

"Woah, why is it all red?!"

"I don't know… No, don't touch it!"

Undyne pulled her curious hand back. Alphys quietly clenched her fists and looked up in anticipation as Undyne scanned the room suspiciously. She looked back at Alphys and shrugged. A single volume from the books on the shelf behind them poked out. White eyes faintly visible between the rows of media. The two women turned back towards the down-escalator and took a few steps.

BKBKRASCH! Went the bookshelf behind them.

"Eep!" Alphys yelled as they whirled around. There was a pile of DVDs and illustrated books scattered over the floor beneath the shelf. Undyne grabbed Alphys's shoulders and pulled her a little closer.

"Who's there?! Show yourself!"

A small, green-tinted blob phased through the bookshelf. Its eyes grinned proudly.

"It's just a little ghost," Alphys remarked.

"Did you do that?" Undyne asked, gesturing to the papers all over the floor.

The ghost nodded.

"So… why did you do that? ...Who are you? …Name?"

The ghost just blushed.

"Not very talkative are you?"

The ghost thought back to his friends in the Ruins. Visage would shake hands with new students the first time they came to the magic school. Buffet always shook hands with people she traded with. Coco shook the human's hand with his tongue the second time he met her.

The ghost's circular form lacked the appendages necessary for this common gesture of greeting. But he was getting used to being non-corporeal again, so he thought he could probably pull this one off. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

He faced Undyne while carefully manipulating his magic to make a long, slender appendage grow out of his body towards her. Perhaps a little stiffer than he had intended, and fingers were slightly beyond his skill level, but he was confident she would understand the message. His eyes beamed at her expectantly.

"W-what are you doing?!" Alphys blushed and covered her eyes, but peaked between her fingers.

"YOU WEIRDO!" Undyne shouted and threw out her arm protectively in front of Alphys. She impaled the ghost on 20 spears at once. It halted its movements. A glowing red blush spread beneath its eyes, which were smiling so hard that they shut. When it came out of this trance and looked around the room again, the two women were long gone.

The ghost from the Ruins floated around Waterfall aimlessly for a while. He eventually ended up floating next to a small, green-skinned reptilian monster wearing a pair of blue shorts and a blue school backpack. The child sat on the edge of a stream, and rambled on about his problems. Perhaps the fact that the mute ghost had nothing judgmental to say in return made him feel more comfortable about using him to confide in.

"…I think it'll go well. We have so much in common, I mean, we both go to school. The same school! And we both eat lunch… the same lunch! It's perfect! I want her to eat the same lunch as me for the rest of my life! But… how can I ever say that to her?! What if she doesn't want to? What if her friends all laugh at me? What if she never talks to me again?!"

He sighed and splashed his feet in the river. "I know I've gotta tell her how I feel. But how can I? I'm too afraid…"

"Oh, I know! I'll practice on you! If you don't mind."

R.D. stared and waited. Confused, but curious. The boy squeezed his hands together and went through a range of embarrassed expressions. "Uh… uh…"

Finally, he shut his eyes and blurted out, "I love you!"

R.D. knew he wasn't really saying it to him, but the pretend confession still made pink blushing circles appear under his eyes. The kid put his hands over his mouth and looked mega-embarrassed. He quivered for a moment, then took off without another word. The wind he kicked up as he ran by swayed the echo flower behind R.D.. The ghost took the echo flower and went to go find Undyne.

Papyrus was bummed out after his encounter with Danya. He curled up into a ball against the wall of his living room. "I miss Sans so much... If only I could burrow under that pile of rubble! If only I could float through the walls like a ghost..." Inspiration struck and he grabbed his cell phone.

R.D. found Undyne in the middle of her walk back to her house. She eyed him skeptically. "You again, huh?"

His eyes beamed from the brilliance of his own plan as he floated and held the blue flower, staring up into her face.

"Is there, uh… something you want…?" She asked awkwardly.

R.D. bobbed the echo flower. "I love you!"

Undyne stared in shock. "W-what?!" She was stunned for a moment, but she began to recall many things that now made sense. Instinctively feeling that someone was watching her. The ghost's actions around herself and Alphys.

"Oh. Wow. That's… adorable? I had no idea you… liked me? Well, I'm sorry, but I…"

Ring ring! The cell phone's screen revealed that Papyrus was calling.

"…have to take this! Hold on one sec. Hey what's up? … Yeah. … I know… … … Oh... OH..." Her eye widened in realization as she listened. She glanced at the little ghost and nodded. "… … Papyrus, you're a genius!"

She hung up and turned back to her pining admirer. He shook the flower again, causing it to echo, "Papyrus, you're a genius!"

"Hey." Undyne's expression was a cross between a seductive grin and a homicidal smirk. The ghost monster was transfixed.

"Could you do me a favor?"

Frisk flipped back a few pages in their notebook. She took a deep breath and sighed. "Gonna check over our schedule again."

"ok," Sans said and tried to follow along as she listed the places they planned to go. But it was hard to concentrate on work because he kept noticing the way she licked her lips every minute and sighed every other breath. She inhaled deeply and rubbed her temple. "You know where Muffet lives?"

"…huh?" he snapped out of staring. "oh. yeah, i do."

She put down the notebook and sighed again. "My head hurts…"

"me too. when i get outta here i'm gonna get like, 5 burgers."

"I doubt you can eat more than one, e-even if you're starving."

"well, we'll find out." They laughed weakly. Frisk's nose twitched as she inhaled sharply.

"I have to go to the bathroom again."

"k. you do that and i'll get some more screaming done."

Frisk seemed uneasy for a while after that. Sans was getting concerned. what's going on? i thought she was over this after the first time, but now she's not calming down again.

"hey, what's going on? you've been breathing kinda hard for a while now…"

"I dunno."

"try to calm down, ok?"

She closed her eyes and tried to breathe more quietly and slowly. She suddenly gasped again, "I can't, it's hard."

"what's hard? …breathing?" he sat up more alert.

"Huh?"

"oh… no…" His eyelights dimmed as he looked around the cage. "there's no air exchange? i guess the walls are too tight? damn, i didn't even think about that."

"a-air? but, you breathe too right?"

"yeah but i don't use oxygen the same way you do…"

"H-huh. Oxygen?" She touched her neck and looked mortified. Sans was pulling on the bones making up the walls.

"can't i dig out an air pocket or something-DAMN IT! i can't even disappear my own bones in this state, are you kidding me?!" He clenched his fingers in the dirt. A hand tugged on his t-shirt and he turned back around. is there really nothing i can do?

"here, close your ears for a sec." He pulled the hood over her head and put her hands over her ears, then pressed his own hands against the sides of his own skull. His muffled shout rang through their heads.

"IF ANYONE CAN HEAR ME, HELP! I'M STUCK IN A CAVE IN AND MY FRIEND'S DYING!"

He turned back to Frisk and squeezed her shoulders. "you can't die! you have to meet my brother!"

"U-uh," Frisk swayed and clutched her forehead as she looked down. Sans couldn't think of anything else to do. She began to breathe even faster.

"Heh, Hehe!" she giggled.

"pal?"

"Hahaha! It's-it's ok! It's gonna be alright, Sans! You don't have to be a-afraid, 'cause, I won't turn into dust! My S-Soul, heh! Should be! Plenty to h-heal you!"

"what the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't be sad Sans! You're gonna go home and see your brother again! Ok?! It's gonna be fine! See?!" She initiated a battle and tried to provoke him to finish her off. But she was so weak that he was able to catch both of her wrists in the middle of her attack.

[ACT]
→ * Check
→ * Frisk

* FRISK – 1 ATK 1 DEF HP: 17/20
* Blood Oxygen Level: 65%

"stop it, stop it, frisk! i don't want your soul!"

"HahAhaHAhaHA," she panted and her fists clenched around whatever pieces of clothing were in her reach. "REALLY, you'll sit here suffering for HOURS WHEN you can just take my Soul and then you can go home and s-see your brother and… AND THEN you can even break the, BArrier, HAHAHA! And then… you'll be ok!"

[Spare]

She tried to lunge at him, but he was still holding on to her wrists. Her weight toppled them over and he struggled to hold her back. Her grin fell and she gasped desperately. "S-Sans! Listen, when you get to the surface—"

"kid, i don't wanna go to the surface without you!"

"SANS LISTEN TO ME! When, you get to the surface, you have to, find my Dad!"

"i don't—what?"

"Please find him his name is Hans Erik Jansson our business is called Café Frisk just like down here my apartment is on f-fifty-six Cross Street his c-cell ph-phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx and it's also on my surface phone i-if you charge it up so tell him what happened to me and then you have to be his f-friend because he's all alone and he'll be very sad so please take care of him for me please…"

"but what about your mom?"

"SANS PLEASE PROMISE ME!"

"OK I PROMISE!"

[Spare]

The Fight ended.

Her face fell out of the dim beam of light, collapsing against. He held onto her shoulders and listened in horror as she hyperventilated uncontrollably.

He tried to activate his power but felt his eyesocket and head respond with a dull throb of pain. "come on!"

"Sans, s-smile."

He smiled. "it's ok buddy, im right here. GODDAMMIT WHY CAN'T I GET OUT OF HERE?!" He slammed his fist against he floor, which hurt his hand a lot more than it hurt the ground. "isn't there anyone looking for us by now?! HELLO?! SOMEONE HEAR ME, PLEASE! HELP!"

"i can't get us out of here. why did i do this… i'm sorry… i'm such a dummy."

The wall of the cage in front of him glowed.

He lifted his head in surprise. The round edges of the bones glistened and reflected the green-tinted light which grew stronger and spilled out into the room. A confused blob passed through the wall and looked upon the two trapped creatures. The rough circles outlining the monster's eyes widened as if it were terrified by their mere presence. Sans took a few seconds to gather his wits and utter something coherent to greet it with.

"uh, hey. c-could you—"

The ghost panicked and started to cry. Translucent globules bubbled from under its eyes. It shook its 'head' back and forth, in a desperate denial of… something. It shut its eyes and flew straight through Sans and out of the room.

Sans had also shut his eyes as the ghost flew through his face and drenched him in its sparkling tears. An invigorating energy surged through his body, especially around his injured eyesocket. He brought a hand up to his face and prodded lightly.

"wha… i'm all better? that thing healed me?" His left eyelight returned to its normal white color. "frisk! come on pal, let's get the hell out of here!" He grinned and teleported them.

He looked around the room he had landed in. There was an echo flower, a stream trickling into a pile of rubble to his left, and a wooden bench to his right. He looked under the bench. "hey, isn't that the quiche i made like… three months ago? why'd it run all the way out here? …it must have felt abandoned." Frisk didn't laugh or groan at his joke.

"eh... nevermind. let's just go." He gripped her shoulders and prepared to teleport again. "my brother is so going to Freak. Out. when he sees you."

He snickered and whisked them away.