Ziva had climbed onto the hospital bed beside John. She had not done this for months, not since the last major hospital stay. She was terrified of accidentally pulling out the breathing tube. Even though she had been heavily trained in that exact situation. It was the last thing she wanted to encounter. Well not the last thing. It was the last thing could even think of that she wanted to happen. John was having a good day. A day that just a few months ago would have been OK bordering on bad. That's how far his condition had dropped thanks to the pneumonia and meningitis. She looked at him and wondered how long he would be here. Her mind drifted to Tony's call that morning. How he had offered to help her adopt Carson's baby. She had to admit it was what she wanted but she wondered if it was happening at the right time.
"How would you feel about being a big brother?" Ziva asked, even though she knew she would not get a response. Most times John did not even know she was there.
Later on in the evening Ziva and Juliana were on their nightly walk. John was having a good day and the conditions were good. So he was on his first walk since being admitted to the hospital. Juliana was pushing her brother's chair and Ziva walked beside them. Gavriella followed behind playing with the camera she had gotten. John was half asleep in his chair. He was never fully awake anymore. At least not for long.
"Juliana I have something I would like to discuss with you." Ziva replied.
"Everything OK? I know John has an appointment tomorrow." Juliana asked.
"He is the same as he's been. He just has a check up." Ziva replied.
"Then what do you want to talk about?" Juliana asked.
"Tony called me from California this morning." Ziva started.
"Everything OK with Carson and the baby?" Juliana asked.
"They are doing good. The thing is Carson and Tony want me to adopt the baby." Ziva explained.
"You want to adopt Carson's baby?" Juliana asked.
"I am considering it. What do you think?" Ziva asked.
"I think that you are trying to replace John and it pisses me off." Juliana replied.
"I am not trying to replace John. Adoption is something that your father and I, always wanted to do. After I got pregnant with John. We agreed to begin the process after John's first birthday. It can be up to a year between the start of the process and actually being on the waiting list. We figured there would be two to three years between John and the new baby. In our mind that was perfect. John and the baby would be close in age, and you would be old enough to help us out. While still young enough to really play with the babies. Then John was born with so many problems and needed so much care. We decided it would not be fair to the baby we were going to adopt, John, but especially you. We considered pursuing adoption when you were older. At the age where you did not need us so much but also mature enough to help out with John and a baby. Then your father died and John's condition kept changing. I decided that our family was complete. Now I don't know. With you getting ready to go to college and John. Not going to be here much longer. I don't know. I think I need one more child in my life. One more that will leave me. The way he is supposed to." Ziva explained.
"But that kid is premature. He is still not out of the woods. He may have the same problems as John and then what?" Juliana explained.
"I don't know. I am still just thinking about it." Ziva replied.
Juliana was right. Carson's baby was still fragile and he may end up having the same problems as John. That could mean she faced a second loss. If the child was disabled but still lived a long life. She would be faced with the fear she dreaded with John. The fear of what she would do when she was unable to care for the baby. Juliana would care for John but she was not happy with this baby. She knew it may take time but what if they never bonded? Then what would become of her boy? Still Carson's baby needed a home and if he were disabled. That could really hinder the adoption process. A boy in John's class had Cerebral Palsy, lung disease, epilepsy, and a list of other complications. He had been placed for adoption at birth. Even though he appeared to be a healthy baby. All conditions were known by six months of age and the parents had surrendered the boy by his first birthday. He spent nine years in foster care before finally being adopted. Ziva could not stand the idea of Carson's son enduring that heartache. She also knew that Carson would always wonder about his son. Juliana would get used to this. She would have to as well. She did not know what the future brought but she knew she had to do the right thing. She took out her cellphone and first dialed Tony's number.
"It's DiNozzo"
"Tony it's me Ziva."
"Ziva? What's up?"
"I'll do it."
Carson sat in his usual spot. The night before had been rough but Baby Boy was doing better. Carson prayed he stayed on this track. He knew it could still go either way. Maybe his son would be better off with Rochelle but he could not stand the idea of losing a child.
"Ziva said she would adopt the baby." Tony announced.
"So is she going to fly out here or will she not meet her baby until he is released from the hospital? Because that could be months." Carson asked.
"We talked about that and since Baby Boy is stable. We are awaiting approval to fly him closer to home." Tony explained.
A/N: Ziva meets her son in the next chapter. New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.