Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I Love To Hate You

Chapter Twenty Five: Screwed Either Way

Edward's POV

Bella and I entered the reception hall and took in the rest of the guests before heading through to where the main party was taking place. There were large Christmas trees, fully decorated with ornaments and lights in the corners of the room, banquet tables set for dinner on one side of the room with the dance floor on the other. The bar was crowded and noisy which was to be expected while majority of folk were standing around talking, rather than sitting at their tables.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked Bella, holding her hand.

"Yes, please." I nodded at the waiter standing by with champagne flutes and handed her one before taking one for myself. "Thanks."

I took her hand again and kissed her knuckles again, just wanting to be close to her. Bella smiled at me and then leaned into me, resting her head on my shoulder. It felt like we were a couple, standing there and I would love it if we only were.

"Emmett and Rose look like a really good couple." Bella observed. My eyes followed her to the pair of them dancing together and smiling foolishly at each other.

"Yeah they do. An unusual couple but they do look well together. Same as Jasper and Alice." I nodded over to the pair who were coddling up together by one of the Christmas trees.

"And how do you think we look, standing like this?" she asked.

"A very happy and intimate couple." This was a good lead into asking her out. "So if we look the part and play the part why are we not an actual couple?"

"Mhhm, Edward, not tonight." She gently rubbed my chest, over my tie. "Please, not tonight."

"Okay. Sorry my love." She sighed at my name for her but rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek.

"Now, I want to dance." We put our drinks down on the closest table and I led her out to the floor. The band were playing a slow song, like usual at these things, as we took to the floor.

I placed my hand on the small of her back as she put one of her hands onto my shoulder and the other in my free hand. We moved in silence with her occasionally playing with my tie then leaning her head onto my shoulder.

I could smell her and it was addicting. Her hair smelt of strawberries but her skin smelt like freesias. Her skin was so soft that I just wanted to kiss and nuzzle her exposed neck. But I couldn't, not tonight. I would follow her wishes as much as I didn't want to.

The thing I didn't get was that we could act like a couple but she turned me down, again and again. What was I doing wrong or just not doing? She claimed that she liked me but completely tenses up when I suggest us being together. It's like there is a dark cloud over us and only she knows how to vanish it. I can try hard to clear it but to no avail.

What made it that much worse was that I loved her, completely and utterly loved her. Some believe that you don't know what true love is until your older. I thought that was true while growing up but now, with Bella in my arms, denying my affections, I know I love her. She's the one for me and no matter what happens, no other girl will compare to her.

Yet, she clearly feels otherwise, which breaks my heart. Rejection isn't something to take lightly but being rejected again and again takes its toll. I know I should be patient, I do have a plan that seems to be going well but still, I can't help feel that she doesn't like me, Edward, and instead likes the guy sending the letters, as though they are two different people.

Which brings me onto how will she react when she realises who is sending her the letters? At first I expect her to be confused; annoyed that she didn't realise, but eventually warm up to the idea and finally say yes when I ask her out. If not I'll be suffering from the worst type of heart ache, knowing that my one true love doesn't feel the same about me.

Bella's POV

I was dancing with Edward, loving the feeling of his warm body against mine and his intoxicating scent around me when Lauren walked in. She seemed momentarily shocked to see us dancing together and my guess is that she knew I hadn't told him what I had been up to.

"Can you excuse me a minute, I need the bathroom," I whispered to Edward. He nodded and sent me a soft smile as I walked away, just making me feel guiltier from keeping what I'd done to him a secret.

"Hey two-faced bitch, how's it going?" Lauren sneered. I nodded towards the bathroom and she followed behind me. "What?"

"Don't tell him, let me do it," I stated. She laughed humourlessly and shook her head.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of telling him. It will hurt him so much more coming from you. If I told him he'd kinda believe me but not really. When you tell him he'll know it's because you have a guilty conscience and it'll rip him apart. There's no way I would offer myself up to be your scapegoat."

"Thank you. That's all I wanted." I went to leave but she stopped me.

"Not so fast. Are you sure you've stopped trying to destroy him?" I frowned in confusion at her.

"Of course I'm sure. Why?"

"Because what you're doing now is the one thing that would really bring him down."

"What do you mean?" I wasn't aware I was doing anything.

"Bella, he's falling for you. When you tell him that you were the one who made the steroids posters and 'accidentally' got him caught for cheating he will assume these last few blissful, fight free weeks have all been an act. You're going to tear his heart out."

"No…no I'm not." But it seemed like I was going to, whether I wanted to or not.

For once Lauren had a valid point. Edward would think this would be my way of really torturing him, trying to hurt him and put him in pain. He knows that I'm aware that he likes me so when he finds out that I did all those horrible things to him he'll think this was part of the plan, ruining everything we've had.

"Yes, you are and you know what, you can't fix this because he's already in too deep." Lauren then walked away, leaving me feeling like shit.

That possibility had never even crossed my mind but now weighed heavily on it. Either way I was screwed. If I told him then he'd think I was lying about liking him and hate me, but if I don't tell him and he finds out another way he'll hate me for not telling him myself.

Things really sucked.

Edward's POV

The Christmas Party was actually good this year, I thought so anyway. When Bella came back from the bathroom we danced some more then met up with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose and enjoyed a few drinks before having the meal.

It was a fun evening with nothing scandalous taking place for once. The food and alcohol was better than usual and the band didn't plan horrible renditions of Christmas songs. So all in all I thought it was a successful evening.

It was made even better when I kissed Bella goodnight. She seemed hesitant so I gave her a light kiss then walked away, hoping she'd finally realise that I am the guy for her. But alas she just headed into her house, never looking back. I kinda got the impression I had done something wrong but definitely wouldn't question her about it. That would just make things awkward and tense.

Monday morning came around and like usual I was at home, wishing I was at school. On Monday's I always had a few lessons with Bella so it was even better and I honestly missed watching her in class. Okay that sounds like I watch her constantly, kinda like a stalker, but I don't. It's just that she does the cutest facial expressions when she's confused, trying to concentrate or finally works out an answer.

But my day wasn't a total waste. My personal mailman, Emmett, stopped by during his free to give me Bella's letter.

Hey,

Well I'm glad that you would forgive me if I did something wrong to you but you seem like the kinda guy who would be very forgiving. The guy I've wronged isn't like that. He will no doubt have a hissy fit and never talk to me again, which would be sad since I'd lose a friend.

Where would you like to go on our first date together?

Just to spend some time with you, to talk etc.

Would it be a formal occasion or a casual one?

Casual for the first one.

Should I bring you a gift?

No, your presence is enough.

Would you have an issue with me paying?

Not if you paid only for you. I shall pay for my own.

Could I kiss you goodnight at the end?

Depends. Let me initiate the kiss if there is going to be one.

Now onto my questions:

What were you wearing at the Country Club's Christmas Party?

What colour of t-shirt are you wearing today?

What colour is your car?

Personally I think those questions are harmless enough since there are hundreds of guys at our school so it would take me along time to actually work out who you are.

Bella

Re-reading the first part of the letter made my blood boil. There was some git out there that she was scared of. She shouldn't be scared of anyone, not when I'm around to protect her. I wouldn't be having that, I'd find out who the guy could be then force him not to be angry at Bella, even if I had to physically force him.

Other than that the letter seemed rather positive. I was very surprised how she hadn't worked out it was me sending the letters but then again from her position it could be any of the hundreds of guys like she mentioned.

I would be answering her questions since she never actually saw me wearing my t-shirt, I know loads of others have a silver car, and I can be vague and just say a suit for the first one. Granted she mat get annoyed at me for my lack of detail but what does she expect.

The main reason I'm not telling her it is me sending her these is because I want her to prove that she does want to know and find out. If she works to find out who I am then it proves she must like me, therefore I have a chance with her, or at least I hope I do.