Chapter 25: The Path of Least Resistance

Friday, June 15, 2012, Kanji's POV

Before long, the camping trip came around yet again. It was a bit surprising to think that it'd already been a year since the last one, and a bit more than that since I faced my Shadow and joined the Investigation Team. Even though I'd changed a lot since then, I still hated this trip as much as ever, and not just because of all the shit that happened to me last year.

For me, the biggest problem is that you're under the teachers' thumb from start until finish. You're required to wear the jersey the whole time, just like if it's gym class. You spend the days picking up trash, and in the meal breaks, you've got to cook your own food. At night, you sleep in tents provided by the school, and you're in deep shit if you're anywhere besides the tent you're assigned.

I'd feel a little more open-minded about the trip if the teachers were helping out, but all they did was order us around. King Moron even got drunk off his ass at night last year, and while that did help us stay out of trouble, it wasn't exactly something a teacher should be doing. I might only be teaching a handicrafts class in my spare time, but I've got a lot more professionalism than this dickhead did. He didn't deserve to die at Mitsuo's hands, but he didn't deserve his job, either.

Some of my friends in the grade above me had done this before- Yu-senpai and Yosuke-senpai had done it once, and Chie-senpai and Yukiko-senpai had done it twice- and now that those four were third years, they were finally free of it. Rise and Naoto, on the other hand, hadn't arrived at Yasogami by the time I had, so they lucked out- Rise doubly so, because she was out on business.

"Man, I don't want to sound like Kashiwagi, but Rise has all the luck," I said to Naoto while we looked around for any bits of trash the others missed. "She not only got to skip the last trip, but this one, too?"

"I can't argue that Rise-san, like I, was fortunate enough to transfer in after the last camping trip," Naoto said, "but at the moment, she is desperately working to revive her career as an idol, an endeavor in which her success is not guaranteed. Perhaps she now regrets her hiatus."

I shrugged. Rise's career was still up in the air, so to speak, but she'd beaten odds I couldn't even start to calculate to get this far. Because of that, I believed she could do so again, if only because she made it once before. In any case, though I decided not to argue about possibilities and keep focused on what was true.

"Maybe, but worst case scenario, when her third year comes around, she won't have to do this shit again," I said, "just like our friends in the year above us."

"Perhaps, but our senpais have to deal with exams year," Naoto said, "and so will we when we also become third-years. Are you saying you would rather be doing that, as well?"

I shrugged. I was tempted to laugh at Naoto acting as though I wanted to go on to college, but I realized I'd have to take a shit-ton of tests before I graduated.

"Hell no," I said. "But it ain't like there's a choice, right?"

"No, there isn't," Naoto said. "Even if you don't intend to go to university, the only way you can possibly get out of taking the exams next year is if you don't plan on graduating from school, but I can't imagine that your mother would be happy with that."

Yet again, Naoto was saying stuff that's depressing but true, about things that you ain't got a choice but to put up with. It's in times like these that I wish I was smarter, so I could argue against it, or better yet, find a solution. Of course, Naoto was a lot smarter than I was and didn't enjoy this much more, and here she was, with everyone else. Maybe this wasn't a time for thinking of a solution, but sucking it up and getting through the damn camping trip.

Afternoon

As the sun started setting, the time came to make dinner, and we were told to go back to the campsite to start cooking. It still kind of bugged me that the teachers made the students do all their cooking- along with everything else besides sitting on their asses and barking orders-but it did have its upsides.

Naoto and I had talked things out in advance, and she'd offered to make the curry, reassuring me that she had a recipe book. She brought all the right ingredients- no more and no less- so I felt confident in what she'd make, especially since I'd had a taste of it a month ago.

I was still kinda jealous of Rise getting a pass on this because of her idol-related business, but I realized that there was a bright side. With her not around to cook, I could eat curry that was only moderately spicy, not hotter than some of the fire attacks that came my way in the TV world.

Naoto served up a plate of curry that was just the right size for a guy like me, but even though I felt full after clearing my plate, I couldn't help but want more.

"That hit the spot," I said. "It might not be such a bad thing to come out here more often if it means getting to eat more of your cooking."

"I appreciate hearing that, Kanji-kun," Naoto said with a slight blush, "since I wasn't sure how well this would go. I'd only done the basic curry recipe until now, so it was a bit of a step outside my comfort zone."

"Wow... you're branchin' out, huh?" I said.

"I did," Naoto said, "both for this trip and so that I can pass some of my knowledge along to the other girls."

I sighed. Ever since I first met Naoto, I thought there was something off about "him," before I found out he was a she. Learning the truth only made me even more attracted to her- a guy who does "girly" things and a girl who wants to get into a "guys" profession go together like needles and thread. The only problem was she didn't seem to get it, and I didn't have the balls to spit it out.

So why didn't I do that? I suppose I was scared she'd say no, since I didn't see her any way she'd say yes at this point. The closest I could get was offering to help out by looking for the suspicious guy in the shopping district last autumn, but when I found him, he kept asking all these questions about criminal investigations and shit that I couldn't answer. I wondered if I'd scared him off, since he left, and I never saw him again- when I asked Naoto a few weeks later, she thanked me for my efforts and said the problem had been dealt with.

Before long, the meal ended, and we were told to turn in for the night.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Kanji-kun," Naoto said. "I have to get going to the girls' tents."

"See ya," I said, before we parted ways.

Evening

That night, I shared a tent with Naoki. We'd known each other since we were kids, and unlike some people I could name, he didn't make cracks about my sexuality or manliness. While we were a good combination, it seemed as though we were together because no one else wanted us.

While we were waiting for the other guys to show up, Naoki told me a few stories that his sister had told him about her camping trips, from the time there was a freak rainstorm during the chili cookout in her first year to the time one of her classmates tried to convince her to smuggle in a bottle of wine from her family's store as a "special ingredient" for the curry in her second year. He seemed pretty happy talking about his sister, although he looked like he was about to cry when he told me how, when he'd laughed at her stories, she'd taken it in stride, but insisted that he tell her about his camping trips when he got into high school.

The rest went without saying. I knew from my dad's death that when someone close to you dies, neither of you can keep your promises, share experiences, or even say the small but important stuff, like "I'm sorry," "Thank you," or "I love you." Things got quiet between us as the sun finally set below the horizon,

"I don't think anyone else from our group is coming," Naoki said.

"Or maybe they're steering clear of us for one reason or another," I said.

Naoki chuckled bitterly. Part of the reason he and I were friends these days was because we didn't have a lot of others. Some say that's kind of pathetic, but we knew that it was because we understood each other in ways that not a lot of others did.

"So I suppose you're in the same boat as I am, Kanji?" Naoki said. "The kind that people don't quite know how to deal with?"

"I guess," I said. "You're still having that problem?"

Apparently, Naoki had gotten his pink slip from the health committee last year because he "killed the mood" or some crap like that. Since the guys over there were apparently talking shit about his sister, I couldn't really blame him, since I'd have probably lost it even worse if they'd badmouthed my dad around the time he died. He was always one of those good kids, though, who always worried about how his actions would reflect on his family. Mom didn't quite come out and say it, since she knew I had enough trouble with my self-image, but I knew that I needed to change ever since Yu-senpai flat out told me. As for Naoki, he'd changed a lot since his sister died, but apparently, no one else had.

"You could say that," Naoki said. "Even if it's been over a year, the fact that my sister's dead hasn't changed, so people will still treat me differently. Even if I've changed, I can't influence the way everyone else sees me. All I can do is learn to live with it, just like I have to live with the fact that Sis is gone."

As someone who'd also had a death in the family, I knew where Naoki was coming from. Since I'd already talked with him about that before, I decided to move on to something else on my mind.

"Y'know, I think Naoto told me something like that once," I said, "that some people are always gonna judge you no matter how well you show that they're full of shit. I can't argue with her, but that's probably the most depressing thing I've ever heard."

"I suppose," Naoki said. "But at the same time, it's not so easy to truly know or understand someone else, particularly those who don't make it easy for you."

"Because they're scared of what others'll think?" I said.

"That's one part of it," Naoki said. "People tend to only superficially understand others, thinking in terms of cliches, stereotypes and clear-cut categories. If someone doesn't fit into one, they just find another. In that regard, it's easy to conclude that I'm either a normal kid who's sad about losing his sister, or a cold one who doesn't care. It's simpler to judge people so easily, as long as you're not worried about being wrong."

"I get where you're coming from," I said. "My family's textile business ain't what most people would call 'manly,' so the guys laugh at me for being different and the girls don't think I'm a guy who appeals to them."

"Obviously not everyone feels that way," Naoki said. "My sister didn't, and neither does Amagi-senpai. As for the guys, Yu-san isn't that kind of person, and neither am I."

"I know," I said. "At the same time, I know I can't just deal with with the people who understand me well."

"That may be true," Naoki said, "but people can surprise you, if you let them get close enough. There's the risk of rejection, but that risk is always present in life."

When I thought about it, it hit me that I hadn't really taken the initiative to get closer to Yu-senpai, who was probably my best friend. We hadn't talked all that much after the fight with my Shadow, until he confronted me about the rumors about me bullying other kids at the school, because he wanted to know the truth. Whenever he had time, he hung out with me in the late summer, and usually, he invited me. I hadn't seen much of Naoki for a few months after his sister died, since neither of us showed up to class much back then, but while I knew he cared about his sister, it wasn't as obvious to Yu-senpai. Apparently, Naoki had come off as cold to Yu-senpai at first, but he stuck with it, and made a good friend. Of course, we were both lucky, and didn't yet know how to reach out to others.

"So you just gotta deal with it, right?" I said. "That kinda makes it sound easier than it is."

"Well, maybe it isn't easy, but it is simple," Naoki said. "As for the rest, it's something only you can really figure out, but those close to you can help."

"Thanks, Naoki," I said. "This sort of thing ain't something I can do on my own, but I know some people who can help."

The conversation died down as Kashiwagi came by our tents to tell us all to go to bed. Naoki, who's got a good eye for drunk people, noticed that she was completely sober, so we couldn't get away with anything like we did with King Moron. Not wanting her to come around to give us another warning, we then hit the hay for the night.

As I lay in my sleeping bag, I kept thinking about what we'd talked about. There was no two ways about it- we had to go through life getting some people to like us, but it was hard to please everyone. Still, Naoki had a point, and rather than spend all my time worrying about that, I could reach out and open up to others, even knowing I might be hurt in the process. The only thing I had to figure out was how to do it.

Naoto's POV

I settled into our tent with Ayane Matsunaga, one of my classmates. The other two girls had apparently called in sick, and I didn't believe it for a minute, since they'd seemed relatively healthy when they were talking in class yesterday. By comparison, Ayane-san seemed quiet and timid by nature, albeit honest, so lying and risking getting in trouble would not be characteristic of her, to say the least.

We made some small talk, and I did my best to talk well about music, despite having little experience outside of Rise-san's concert. Since Ayane-san seemed to notice, this, though, she changed the subject to something more related to my interest.

"So you're really a detective, Naoto-kun?" Ayane-san said.

"One in training, Ayane-san," I said. "I may be of use to the police on certain cases, but I still have much to learn before I can call myself a full-fledged detective, rather than someone who's merely talented for a child."

"I see," Ayane-san said. "I was just thinking it might be nice to have talents, and for people to say they need you, even if you're just good for your age."

I furrowed my brow, realizing that while Ayane-san did not know that police departments were reluctant to call upon my services (and essentially admit their inability to solve the crimes on their own), that was not the most relevant point. Ayane-san and I did not know each other especially well, so I was a bit surprised that she would so casually make such a sobering remark about herself. Perhaps she didn't understand its significance, or perhaps she trusted me more than I thought. In any case, this sounded odd based on one of the few facts that I knew about her.

"You're in the orchestral band, aren't you, Ayane-san?" I said, and she nodded. "I should think that with all the instruments there are, there should be one that you can play well."

When we'd played at Junes, only Rise-san had much talent as a musician, but all of us improved our skills to a passable level within a few days. It thus made sense that with a combination of talent, diligence and self-confidence, one could become at least a good musician, and I wondered which of these traits Ayane-san lacked.

"Well, I have the trombone," Ayane-san said, "but they also have another trombone player, a senpai who's better than I am. He injured his arm last year, and it seemed like my chance... but nobody spoke up for me, including myself. Luckily, he came back just in time, or else we would have been missing an instrument when we performed."

"Why didn't you even try to take the opportunity?" I said. "Unless I'm mistaken, you had everything to gain and nothing to lose. Perhaps some would call you selfish, but you would also be filling a need for the club."

"You could say that I didn't want anyone to hate me," Ayane-san said. "I always believed that if I did as I was told and showed up to practice, things would go on like they always did, and I used to be fine with that."

"Used to be, you say?" I said. "Are you not anymore?"

"That's exactly it," Ayane-san said. "I realized that you have to be a bit selfish, or you'll never get anything you want or need out of life. Being arrogant or self-centered aren't traits that are good for being a team player, but you have to be at least a little ambitious and confident in yourself to be of use to those you're working with. I might not get everything I want this way, but I won't get offered anything if I don't try for it."

The more I talked to Ayane-san, the more I realized how unfulfilling the path of least resistance was. I also realized that if I truly wanted that path, I would have waited until I graduated from the police academy before helping the police with their cases, if I even bothered to try to enter a male-dominated career path. Doing so wouldn't be characteristic of me any more than it would have been of my mother, much less Kanji-kun.

Of course, there were times when we had no choice but to bite the bullet and do what we disliked, from being treated as the kid on the force, to going to a camping trip we hated. Then again, while we had a great deal to lose and nothing to gain from trying to resist what we must endure, the same was true for simply enduring what we could and needed to change, so more than anything, we had to know the difference between them.

I owed Ayane-san my thanks, and as I gave to her, she didn't fully understand what she'd done to deserve it.

Saturday, June 16, 2012, Morning

The next morning, there was an opportunity for the campers to do swimming. Luckily, since I hadn't brought a swimsuit, and I didn't owe anyone favors, I had no obligation to swim, in addition to no desire to do so, avoiding the trap Yukiko-senpai and Chie-senpai had fallen into last year (Of course, Yosuke-senpai conveniently forgot that he had goaded Kanji-kun into going into the girls' tent, thus putting them at risk of getting into trouble and setting off the entire situation).

I met up with Kanji-kun near the waterfall. He sat on the grass, still dressed in his jersey, with the green top draped around his shoulders.

"Morning, Naoto," Kanji-kun said.

"Good morning, Kanji-kun," I said. "So you're not going in, either?"

"Hell no," Kani-kun said. "I'm scarred for life after going in the same river that King Moron puked in, and I imagine that it's still in there."

I was tempted to dismiss the latter part as unlikely, I nodded in agreement, since it was yet more reason for me to be glad that I didn't start going to Yasogami until September of last year.

"I actually heard a little about what you went through last year," I said. "Given that experience you had, and your complaints thus far, I'm surprised you didn't skip out on the trip this year."

None of the people I knew well were in any position to lecture Kanji-kun about his truancy. Even the relatively straight-laced Yukiko-senpai and Yu-senpai had skipped class in the past, as had I when I was preparing to set a trap for the kidnapper. Perhaps the faculty would have judged Kanji-kun harshly if he had chosen to skip the camping trip, but none of his friends would have.

"It sure as hell was tempting," Kanji-kun said, "but I heard from Naoki that they call the parents of the people who don't show up."

"Including those with special circumstances?" I said. "I can see that they'd want to verify that the students have a reason not to be there, but this is certainly vigorous enforcement."

"Yeah," Kanji-kun said. "Naoki got time off last year because of his sister's death, but he insisted on coming this year no matter how much I tried to talk him out of it. He said, 'Sis put up with this, too, so I've got to take the good with the bad.' I knew he wouldn't give up on it, so I gave up on trying to convince him."

"So he's doing it out of principle alone?" I said. "That's admirable in its own way."

"Huh," Kanji-kun said. "I thought you'd say that he's a dumbass to go through this crap for the hell of it."

"I wouldn't put it like that, but that's beside the point," I said. "I've been thinking, and while I believe that needlessly inviting trouble is foolish, you can't go through life avoiding conflict. Ayane-san, who shared a tent with me last night, was a second-string band musician who never had the courage to aspire to be anything more out of fear of causing trouble, but now, she's started to realize that being 'selfish' can be a good thing."

"But doesn't what you've been sayin' until now still apply?" Kanji-kun said.

"It does," I said. "Essentially, while there are times when you'll need to stand up for yourself, you also need to be able to choose your battles. As they say, you need the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what you can and wisdom always to know the difference."

Kanji-kun groaned upon hearing the last part, even though I'd suspected that the first was the hardest for him.

"That sounds kinda hard," Kanji-kun said. "You know that sort of thinking's not my forte."

"Is it?" I said. "I think that when you're faced with a situation like this, you'll know what you want to achieve, and how you can achieve it. Perhaps you might not always be able to do so alone, but help is closer than you think."

"You might be right," Kanji-kun said. "Just remember, the same goes for you."

We sat, looking at the waterfall for some time. Oddly enough, while Kanji-kun had not yet overcome his fear of rejection, it seemed, at least to me, that he'd grown more comfortable around me. I could still remember the time in the recent past when he couldn't even say two words to me about any subject other than the murder investigation, so having him comfortable talking about difficult subjects together was a pleasant development in many ways. There was still a wall between us, one that Kanji-kun was still afraid to climb over, but it was no longer as tall or wide as it once had seemed.

Monday, June 18, 2012, Lunchtime, Kanji's POV

At lunch the next day of school, we discussed the trip with our senpais.

"So how was the camping trip?" Yukiko-senpai said.

"Not as bad as the last one," I said. "Mostly, it was a giant waste of time."

I took a moment to stop and think. While it was definitely a pain in the ass, I wasn't so sure I'd wasted my time. I'd gotten to eat some of Naoto's curry, and had nice talks with Naoki and Naoto. I also felt as though I'd learned more about when to stand my ground, and that I understood Naoto a bit better. Of course, I could probably have done all that on my own time, so If I had a choice between this trip and a few vacation days with Naoto, I'd have chosen the latter every time.

"I suppose that's true," Yosuke-senpai said, "especially since a certain pair of girls didn't cook for anyone this year."

"Yeesh, Yosuke," Chie said. "You get fourth place in a curry cookoff with five people, and it goes to your head, doesn't it?"

"Damn straight, Chie-senpai!" I said. "Naoto did a really good job back then and on the trip, so she and Yu-senpai are in a whole another league."

Naoto blushed slightly. I wonder if she, like me, wasn't used to being complimented.

"I-I appreciate hearing that, Kanji-kun," Naoto said, "but I can only do so much. I've run out of things to teach Yukiko-senpai, after all."

"Really?" Yosuke-senpai said. "I wonder if she's trying to impress a special someone."

Yukiko-senpai blushed.

"W-well..." Yukiko-senpai said. "I am eventually going to inherit the inn, so I have to know how to cook well, don't I?"

Yukiko-senpai was right on some level, but her saying that was a bit like my saying I was only interested in textiles because my family was, or Naoto saying she wanted to become a detective because her parents, her grandpa and her ancestors four generations back were detectives. Yosuke-senpai was probably on to something, and I wondered if it was the same secret I was hiding.

I still don't know if I can tell Naoto how I feel just yet, because I still don't know if she feels the same way. I'm also a lot more personally invested in her, so even if she politely tells me that I'm just a friend to her, it'll probably hurt a lot more than some girl I don't know saying I'm a freak for being interested in the same kind of things she's probably into. All the same, though, I feel as though I can talk with her about everything else, something I could only really do with my mom and Yu-senpai before. That's good enough for me... for now, at least.

Author's Notes

Thank you for the reviews and follows.

Perhaps Yu and his friends aren't completely done with their adventures, but they won't continue in this fic.

As for Yu and his old friends, he isn't as close to them as he is with the Investigation Team, and he never will be- at best, they'll probably be around the same level as Yu's other friends from Yasogami (Daisuke, Kou, Yumi, Ai and Naoki).

The game's a bit unclear about whether "senpai" has an S after it in plural (in Japanese, there would be a "-tachi" if not "-gata" after it when you're referring to more than one), but I, based on other experience, decided to put the S there.

I decided to include a cameo by Ayane in this chapter, to show what might happen to the one Social Link person Yu never meets, since she and Yumi are mutually exclusive, and I found Yumi's story more interesting. By comparison, in the Strength social link, you also meet and befriend the other athlete.