Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

THE YEARNING

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

FOUR MONTHS LATER

In a sunny room that had a southern aspect, Kathryn stood on a step-ladder painting a red wall yellow. Her hair was pulled back from her freckled face in a high ponytail and she was wearing blue dungarees over a white t-shirt. The room was her main lounge in her spacious new house in Bloomington and, after enduring the blazing red wall for weeks, she was finally getting rid of it now the weather was warm enough for decorating. Large patio doors, leading onto an ornate lawn, let in a cool morning breeze, and aside from a silver replicator, the room was empty. All her furniture she'd beamed into the attic, and the carpet, a grotesque green with red zigzags, she'd beamed to the local recycle facility. While she was at it, she'd beamed a flashy orange carpet in her bedroom too, and had had it replaced with a calmer peach one. The couple who'd owned the house before her had made a lot of improvements, as it was an old house dating back to 2230, but their taste in decor left a lot to be desired! The only room in the house that was pleasing to the eye was the bathroom. It had gorgeous white tiles that shimmered the colors of the rainbow, a gleaming blue marble floor, a free standing bath of glittering gold, and a long window that looked out at Lake Griffy. While no bathroom had ever impressed her as much as the unforgettable one in Chakotay's lodge, and she doubted any bathroom ever could, this one had impressed her enough to make her take the house.

After what had been a harrowing homecoming, Kathryn was now feeling better about life. Her sessions with the psychologist were going well and, with her support and Holly's, she finally felt as though she was winning the battle she had been fighting alone for so long. Already she understood so much more about herself than she had, and it helped to know that she wasn't alone, that other women were fighting the same battle too, even men. There were still difficult days, lonely and despairing days when she felt the fight was pointless, but those days were not most days. Most days were bearable. Some days were even good. If it wasn't for missing Chakotay then perhaps more days would be. But she did miss him, missed him profoundly. Since getting home they had only seen each other a few times, even though he and Seven had split up almost as soon as they had got together, and it had been almost six weeks since their last meeting as he was presently on Trebus. However, he'd promised to return for Voyager's grand opening as a museum, and as that was in two days time, he could be expected any moment. What his plans were after, she didn't know. Perhaps he would take up one of the many teaching posts he had been offered, or perhaps he would choose to work at one of Starfleet's research facilities, but a part of her feared that he would return to Trebus. His homeworld was now independent of Cardassian rule, as were several others in the former demilitarized zone, and his people were re-settling there. It would be tempting for him to stay and help them. She knew he yearned for a place to belong, for a home and a family, and on Trebus he could have those and make a difference. All she could do was hope that he would stay on Earth, that he'd only ever be just a transport away.

But, as much as she wanted that, above all she wanted him to be happy. It had been with mixed emotions that she'd received the news about him and Seven. A part of her was glad that he was once again free, for with that freedom came a new hope that maybe one day there would be a time for them, but another part of her was sad, sad that he still hadn't found what he was looking for, that, like her, his soul was still searching for peace.

Peace.

That desired state of being that was ever elusive.

But, perhaps, finally it was within reach. Jackie, her psychologist, certainly believed it was and, with her help, she was taking steps towards it.

Steps, not leaps, but she was moving.

Moving away from the darkness.

Finally facing the light.

Learning to love herself.

That, Jackie said, was the third and most crucial step on the road to recovery. The first was talking, the second was accepting that she was not in any way to blame for what happened, that the blame was all Neal's.

Learning to love herself.

To take care of herself.

To believe she was a worthwhile person who deserved to be loved.

It wasn't easy, self-neglect and self-denial were habits of a lifetime, but slowly her self-esteem was improving. Never had she realized just how low it was, but Jackie said that was common amongst those with the same or similar problems. It had been difficult opening up to Jackie at first, and she had almost changed her mind about the sessions, but now she was glad she had gone. It was good talking to someone who not only understood how she felt, but could help her make sense of her feelings, and could offer real hope of overcoming them. There were more issues to deal with than the rape, Jackie said, issues relating to her childhood, issues relating to survivor guilt, issues relating to the delta quadrant.

So many issues.

But slowly she was working through them.

Slowly she was setting Kathryn free.

Slowly she was learning to love her.

Love her and stop punishing her.

When the wall was finally finished, Kathryn stepped down from the ladder, put down her roller, and inspected her work.

"What do you think, Kollie?" she asked a scruffy black dog that was watching her with a gleam in his eye. "Good work or good work?"

The young dog bounced over to her, his tail wagging, and Kathryn tickled his ear.

"And so say I. In fact, I say this deserves a coffee."

With that, Kathryn went over to the replicator and replicated herself a cup of black coffee. But, just as she was picking it up, the computer spoke.

"Incoming transport request."

Kathryn sighed. Now was not a good time for visitors. The house was topsy turvy and she wanted to get all the painting done by noon. After lunch she had an important meeting to attend and a lecture to give at The Academy. If this visitor was anyone other than her mother, Phoebe, Holly, or B'Elanna, then she would have to politely deny their request.

"I repeat," the computer said, "incoming transport request."

"Who makes it?" she asked.

"Chakotay."

At this, Kathryn's heart skipped a beat. Chakotay was back? At last!

"Request accepted," she said quickly. "Beam him to my location."

"Acknowledged, Ma'am. Stand by."

Kathryn held her breath while she waited, the moments feeling like an eternity, but at last the blue beam of the transporter glowed before her and Chakotay materialized. He was wearing a brown jacket over black pants and his hair, jet black on their last meeting, was now streaked with silver.

"Hi," he smiled.

"Hi to you," Kathryn smiled in return. "Welcome back."

"Thank you. It's good to be back."

Good to be back. Kathryn joyed at these words. If he was glad to be back then he couldn't be planning to settle on Trebus.

"But I should have known I'd find you with a coffee," he teased. "I swear you have a cup glued to your hand."

Kathryn laughed. "Not quite. But you'll be pleased to know I drink only decaff now."

"Really?"

"Fortified with vitamins. All part of the new me. No more skipping meals, no more midnight snacking. I'm in bed by eleven every night, well almost every night, and I'm eating well. In fact, one could say too well. I've put on ten pounds."

"Good. You were getting too thin, Kathryn. At one point I was worried."

"I know. But you don't have to worry now. Mom, Aunt Martha, and HQ's canteen keep me well fed. Oh, Chakotay, you should see the food there. Every delight you could ever imagine and all hand cooked. Definitely a food lover's paradise."

Chakotay smiled. "As I'm guessing it's for admirals only, I doubt I'll be seeing its delights any time soon."

"Don't be so sure. Guests are allowed so, if you come with me, you're in."

"Is that an invitation?"

"It is. You owe me a lunch, remember?"

"I sure do," he said, remembering their last day on Voyager.

"So, what do you say? Shall we eat there today? Unless, of course, you have plans."

"I don't...have plans. But is today convenient for you? It looks like you're very busy here."

"I am, but I should be finished by lunch...especially if you give me a hand."

Chakotay laughed. "So that's your motive. A dinner in exchange for labor."

"You got me," she teased. "But will you...lend a hand?"

"Gladly."

Kathryn smiled. "Then get your jacket off, Sir, and get stuck in. If you haven't figured it out, I'm painting the red yellow."

"Too bright for your taste?"

"So bright, I need sunglasses just to sit in here. But don't tell me you like it."

"I've seen worse," he said, handing her his jacket.

"Really? Where?"

"My cousin's lounge. Nothing wrong with orange and lime, they're fine colors, but when they're stars and stripes on a pink wall, they're a definite migraine maker."

"I'd say," Kathryn laughed. "What is it with some people? Are they color blind and don't know it? You should have seen the carpet in here, Chakotay. Green with red zigzags. Oh, it was awful! But, before we get painting, let me get you a drink. What would you like?"

"A coffee would be good."

"Then a coffee it is. But first, I'll..."

Suddenly, unexpectedly, she stopped talking and looked anxiously around the room.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked. "Something wrong?"

"Let's just say," she answered, "a bundle of fur is missing and so is my roller. And I have a feeling they're in the same place." With that, she handed Chakotay her coffee and went over to the open patio door. Just as she predicted, Kollie was in the garden, the roller in his mouth. The mischievous dog was holding it by the handle and wading through a bed of colorful flowers.

"Kollie!" Kathryn cried. "Get back here! Get back here now!"

Chakotay smiled. "Got yourself a dog?"

"More like a monster," she answered. "Kollie! Here, now!"

But again the animal ignored her.

"Damn dog. I'll have to go get him before he gives himself paint poisoning. Please, make yourself comfortable on the patio. And, if you don't mind it black without sugar, help yourself to my coffee. It'll be cold by the time I get around to drinking it. Oh, and here's your jacket..."

With that, she handed him back the coat and ran across the lawn after her delinquent pet. As she did, Chakotay went to sit at a classy black table that decked the patio, and laughed as Kathryn waded through flowers after a lively black dog that was clearly having the time of its life. Then, with leaves on her legs and mud on her shoes, Kathryn emerged from the flowerbed with the dog under her arm.

"Stupid mutt," she said as she reached the patio. "Look at the state of him! He's positively covered in paint! I'm going to have a hell of a time getting it off. Luckily, I don't think he's eaten any as there's none around his mouth." She then held the pup up before her. "What am I going to do with you, eh? I knew you'd get under my feet today, I just knew it!" She then turned back to Chakotay. "But let me get you two acquainted. Kollie, this is my friend and former First Officer, Chakotay. Chakotay, this is Kollie."

Chakotay smiled. "Pleased to meet you, Kollie."

"If you're wondering whether he's any relation to Mollie," Kathryn went on, "given the name choice, then he is. He's her great, great, grandson. Phoebe took one of her pups and this terror's a direct descendant. Of course, the red setter's all but gone, but I can see a resemblance to Mollie in his eyes. I called him Kollie as a kind of a joke related to how Mollie was Mollie. Holly was with me when I got her and, on our way home, every time I called Holly, Mollie came running. Oh, it cracked us up, as you can imagine, and Holly teased that her name had to be Holly too. In fact, she insisted on me calling her that. But there was no way I was having my dog and my best friend called Holly, so we compromised on Mollie. You know...same sound, different spelling. It worked, Mollie responded to it, but she never did stop answering to Holly. Oh, we had some laughs. So, when I got this mutt, and was trying to pick out a name, the whole comedy invariably came up and Holly said I should call him Kollie. The olly for her, the K for me. And, you know what? The mutt barked. Honestly, Chakotay, he barked. I laughed so hard I thought I would sprain something and, after that, could call him nothing else."

Chakotay listened with heartfelt joy to Kathryn's rambling. It was so good to see her, so good to hear her voice. Over the last few weeks he had missed her so much the ache had been constant. Without her he felt...he felt only half alive. Never had he missed anyone as much. Never had he needed anyone as much. On Voyager she had always been there. Almost every day for seven years they had shared the mundane, the interesting, the exciting and the extraordinary. Whenever they'd come across an anomaly, or a beautiful star cluster, or a spectacular nebula, they had sought each other out and delighted in it together. Whenever there had been a drama or a death, they had come together and consoled each other. Over dinners they had laughed and talked; over strategies they had exchanged ideas and fought; concerts and parties they had attended together; almost every staff meeting they had held together; and together they had got their crew home.

Together, side by side.

And at his side is where he wanted her to be. Where he longed for her to be. Where he needed her to be. For he missed her being there. Had missed her being there on Trebus. Nothing could ease the ache in his heart, not even a distance of light years. He'd hoped it would. He'd hoped the time away would help him get over her. But he had never got over her. Not on Voyager, not now. He loved her now as much as he'd ever loved her, perhaps even more. Seven had been a lonely mistake, he knew that now, and he deeply regretted the affair. If things had happened differently, if he'd waited for Kathryn just a little bit longer, then maybe they'd be together now. She had loved him once, at least she had said so, and maybe, out of a command structure, she could love him again.

But then, maybe she still loved Jaffen. Losing him had broken her heart and maybe it wasn't yet quite mended. Kathryn was never one to hold back when she wanted something, not without good reason. On Voyager, the barrier to a relationship had always been their positions. Now they were out of a command structure, and both single, if she was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship then she would surely say so. All he knew was that he could not say so. Several times since their return he had come close, but at the last moment his courage had failed him. He was afraid of compromising their friendship, of losing her completely by asking for more than she could give, and he was afraid of being hurt again. Not that his heart ever stopped hurting. For Kathryn, he was beginning to think it never would.

"The vet says he'll grow to the size of a sheep dog," Kathryn went on, "so I'd better have him trained by them. He's terribly naughty, Chakotay. Yesterday he chewed up Aunt Martha's hat, though how he got hold of it I don't know as it was high on a hook, and the day before that he chewed his way through five pairs of shoes."

"He certainly seems like quite a handful," Chakotay said. "Maybe you've met your match."

"I think I have. But I do love him, Chakotay. He's as cute as a baby and absolutely adorable when good. It's hard to believe I've only had him a month." She then held up the roller. "But please excuse me while I take this in and beam this ragamuffin to my sister. She can sort him out. I know she's busy, but so am I."

Kathryn then hurried inside, did what she needed to do, and then returned with a tray. On it was a pot of coffee, a jug of cream, a bowl of sugar, a coffee-cup for herself, and two generous slices of coffee-cake.

"After that less than hospitable welcome," she said, placing the tray on the table, "let me make it up to you with elevensies. The coffee is freshly replicated, if you want a top up, the cream and sugar real, and the cake baked only yesterday by yours truly."

Chakotay raised an eyebrow. "Really? You made it?"

The moist cake looked deliciously spongy and was topped with pretty swirls of coffee cream. Kathryn's efforts, if at all edible, were usually burnt around the edges, and the top was plastered, rather than decorated, with cream.

"I did," she said proudly. "I've been having cooking lessons from Aunt Martha and I'm finally getting good. It helps that my new oven likes me. Not one thing has it burnt yet. Not even a roast. In fact, they've come out quite perfect. Maybe not to professional standards but definitely as good as replicated. The only disaster I've had was with a souffle, but that was not the oven's fault, it was mine for being over ambitious." She placed a slice of cake before Chakotay and then sat down. "So, give me your verdict."

Chakotay took a bite and Kathryn watched as he ate it.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

Chakotay's eyes twinkled. "Just one word...awful."

Kathryn's face fell. "Really? It's awful?"

"No," he smiled. "It's absolutely delicious."

At this, Kathryn laughed and playfully smacked his arm. "Oh, you..."

"But did you really make it?"

"I did. It came in a packet, so I only had to add eggs and water, but..."

Her words trailed as Chakotay suddenly laughed.

"What?" she asked. "What's so funny?"

"You. Packets are cheating."

"I know. But they still have to be mixed, baked and decorated. For some of us, those tasks are big asks."

"Well, it looks like you have them beat. Packet or not, this cake is wonderful. Well done."

"Thank you, Sir. Now, would you like cream and sugar in that coffee?"

"Yes, please."

Kathryn stirred in cream and sugar and then poured herself a coffee, speaking as she did.

"A lot's been happening since you've been away," she said. "Tom's started a whole new career as a holo-novelist and The Doctor's become an opera sensation. He still has the day job, of course, holograms don't get tired, but he's performing to packed out theaters every night. Sam and her husband have renewed their wedding vows, Harry and Libby have got re-engaged, and Tal Celes has married a European prince after a whirlwind romance. Finally, after forever trying, we've made contact with Neelix and he's told us he's going to be a father. I'm so happy for him, Chakotay. And I'm so glad we're in touch now. I'd hate to never know what becomes of him. But you've probably heard all this from B'Elanna."

"Yes," he answered. "The bit about Tom being a holo-novelist about ten times."

Kathryn laughed. "She pretends like it's a boys with their toys thing but I know she's made up really. It means having him around. I know she was worried he would want to return to space. Quite a few have, surprisingly, including the Delaney sisters. They took up posts on the USS Neptuna last week. Supposedly because they want to explore deep space, but I'm sure the attractions of the ship's handsome captain had something to do with it." She took a sip of coffee. "But enough about what's been happening here. I want to know what's been happening with you." She paused. "How did your visit to Trebus go? I know it can't have been easy."

"No," he answered, picking up his coffee now he had finished the cake. "But it was easier than I thought. Our settlement has been rebuilt and is now a thriving community. Seeing life where there was once death, and hearing laughter where there was once weeping, was a great comfort, even a joy. I will never forget the desolation after the massacre, the smoking black ashes and sulfur air, but now when I think of my homeworld, it's the new life I will remember. The love, the laughter, and the hope. My family, and all those who perished, would be proud of our tribe's resilience. And that...that's the best way of honoring their memories."

"I thought, maybe," Kathryn said hesitantly, "that you would want to stay, that you'd want to help the re-settlement."

"No," he replied. "Even though much has changed since...well, since I first left...for me one thing hasn't changed, and that is my knowledge that I don't belong there." He paused. "My sister wanted me to stay, my cousin too, but tribal life is not for me."

"How was your sister?"

"Good. It was wonderful to see her and we were both keen to heal the rift between us. I'm glad we did. If there's one thing we've both learned from all that's happened it's how precious family is. Even though we still have our differences, we'll never again let them come between us."

"In a way," Kathryn said, "that's true of me and Phoebe too. We appreciate each other now in a way we never did before. Even though we're like chalk and cheese, we're still sisters, and that's...it's very special. We're determined to be closer in the future. And I think we will be. Part of the problem before was the amount of time I spent in space. Now I'm working on Earth, we'll see each other all the time."

"How is work?" Chakotay asked. "Do you enjoy being an admiral?"

"For the most part, yes. There are a lot of perks, not least the aforementioned restaurant, and it's always fun to pull rank. But, if I'm honest, a part of me misses space. I guess because it's been my life for so long. But there'll be opportunities to venture out there, so I'm happy." She paused. "What about you? Have you decided your next move?"

"Yes," he teased. "To replicate a roller so we can paint."

Kathryn laughed and then downed what was left of her coffee. "Time is moving on so I guess we'd better get stuck in. But seriously, Chakotay, any decisions?"

"Not yet," he answered, getting to his feet. "I'm still considering options." He then gestured to the replicator. "May I?"

"Of course...whatever you need. Oh, and replicate a roller for me too. I had to recycle the other."

Chakotay smiled. "Yes, Ma'am."

He then replicated two rollers and they got to work.

When the painting was done, and all the furniture was back in place, Kathryn and Chakotay cleaned themselves up and then left for Starfleet Headquarters. The restaurant was every bit as delightful as Kathryn had said, even having a spectacular view, and they enjoyed a lavish lunch of exotic salad and pasta.

"I really am very impressed," Chakotay said as he ate. "I don't think I've ever had a finer salad. This lettuce is crisp, yet juicy, and these blue tomatoes are delicious."

"They are, aren't they?" Kathryn agreed. "I don't know where they come from but I'm determined to grow some." She took a sip of mineral water. "I've often wondered what happened to the tomatoes I planted on New Earth. I'd like to think they grew and thrived."

"Well," Chakotay teased, "if they did, I'm sure the monkey appreciated them."

"Yes," Kathryn laughed. "I just hope they didn't poison him...you know, alien primates with Talaxian tomatoes? But I bet he totally ransacked the house."

"Or he moved in," Chakotay joked. "Maybe with his mate."

"Oh, yes. Wouldn't that be something? A family of monkeys sitting around our table."

"Eating tomatoes."

"Yes."

As they laughed, their eyes met, and for a moment Kathryn felt like they were back on Voyager, back to how things used to be, back in the good days.

The good days.

Weren't these supposed to be the good days?

Weren't these the better times they had crossed a galaxy for?

Better times.

The best times had been on Voyager.

The best times had been together.

Together.

And together she wanted them to be.

Together they belonged.

Warmth. Safety. Love.

Even across a table she could feel them.

Feel them and almost touch them. If only...

If only she had the courage to reach out.

But now wasn't the time, wasn't the place. A dozen eyes were upon them and Admiral Pentroth, a tall man with gray hair, was making a beeline for their table.

"Admiral Janeway," he said as he reached them, "Commander Chakotay. What an unexpected delight. May I join you?"

At this interruption, Kathryn saw regret in Chakotay's eyes, the same regret she was feeling, but not wanting to be rude she forced a smile. "Of course, Admiral."

The man sat next to her and put down the tray he was holding. "I believe, Commander," he said to Chakotay, "that you are still unassigned."

"That's right," Chakotay answered. "I've had plenty of offers, from Starfleet and elsewhere, but nothing as yet has taken my fancy."

"Then how does the captaincy of a brand new, intrepid class, two hundred crew, starship sound? I'm looking for someone to captain a deep space exploration mission and there's no one I'd rather have than you."

"Thank you, Sir," Chakotay said, "I'm deeply honored, but I'm not interested in returning to space. Certainly not for any length of time."

"I can understand that, but I think captaining is worth considering. You're an exemplary officer, one that has always been highly regarded, and I know I'm not alone in saying we'd like to welcome you into the admiralty eventually. While you were only second in command on Voyager, the extremity of your circumstance meant you bore more responsibilty than some captains bear in a lifetime. Whatever doubts were entertained about you following your resignation and deflection have long since been cast aside. Your dedication to the Voyager crew, your loyal service and your courage, has impressed us all, and with your knowledge and experience you would be an asset to the admiralty. Captain for a year or two and you're in."

"Thank you," Chakotay said again, "I really am flattered, but my preference is to teach."

"As an admiral you can do that too. Think about my offer. I'll give you until Monday."

Kathryn expected Chakotay to say he didn't need the time, that he wouldn't change his mind, but to her dismay he said otherwise.

"Ok," he said. "I'll think about it."

The Admiral smiled. "Excellent. And, to help you decide, I'll give you a personal tour of the ship after lunch...if you're free, that is."

"I am," he answered.

"Then after lunch it is."

The Admiral then went on to tell Chakotay about the ship, giving him details and specifications, but Kathryn hardly heard him. Absently, she gazed at what was left of her salad and moved it around with her fork. Why hadn't Chakotay turned the offer down flat? Why hadn't he insisted he wasn't interested? He wasn't one to waste anyone's time. He wouldn't say he'd think about it just to be polite. If he said he was going to think about it, then he would think about it. And if he was then...then he couldn't be feeling the way she was, couldn't be sharing her hope about the future, couldn't be wanting them to be together. And that...it hurt. It hurt like hell. Hurt because she'd let herself hope. But she had to stop. Somehow, someway, she had to let Chakotay go. Had to move on the way he had. Only then, perhaps, would the ache in her heart stop. They were not destined to be together, whatever the psychic had said, and it was time she accepted that. Accepted it and got on with her life. Hopes have to be realistic, Jackie said, dreams have to be achievable. Chakotay was a hope and a dream that was neither. He never had been. It was time to stop hoping. Time to stop dreaming. Time to wake up and accept the fact that she had lost him.

"What do you say, Admiral Janeway?"

At the sound of her name, Kathryn came out of her thoughts. "I'm sorry?"

"About nothing comparing to the first time."

The first time.

Sex.

Neal.

Pain.

A familiar sinking in the stomach, a growing sickness...

But then the Admiral's next words abated it.

"In the big chair."

"Oh...yes," she said quietly.

The Admiral then looked at her in concern. "Are you ok? You look very pale."

"I'm fine, I just...I have a slight headache. In fact, I think I'll call lunch a day and take something for it."

"Ok," he said. "See you at the meeting later."

Kathryn nodded and then got to her feet. "Goodbye, Chakotay."

Without waiting for a reply, she walked away, but as she reached the door, Chakotay caught up with her.

"Kathryn," he said, stopping her. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine...truly."

Gently, Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "You know that line doesn't work on me."

Kathryn felt tears sting her eyes, felt her defenses crumble in his presence the way they always did, but somehow she steeled herself.

"I'm really fine, Chakotay, just a headache."

"Would you like me to get you a hyposhot? You don't have to leave. We can make our excuses and take a walk in the park."

A walk in the park. It sounded heavenly. But, feeling the way she did, and knowing that Chakotay didn't feel the way she did, would just make it hell.

"Another time," she replied. "I've got reports to read before my meeting."

"Then have dinner with me tonight? We've still got a lot of catching up to do."

"I know," Kathryn answered, "but I...I have plans for tonight."

"I see," Chakotay said sadly. "How about tomorrow?"

"I...I'm busy then too," she lied. "In fact, I don't think I'll see you now until the opening ceremony." She lowered her eyes and fidgeted with her fingers. "But I'm really glad you're back and...and thank you for today."

"It's been a pleasure, Kathryn. I'm only sorry that...well, I've missed you."

Missed you.

The words almost made Kathryn buckle. Almost made her fall into his arms and tell him she'd missed him too. Missed him every single second of every single day.

Almost, but not quite.

Pain strengthened her.

The painful knowledge that he missed her only as a friend.

"And I you," she finally said. "But I...I really am busy."

"Then I guess I'll see you on Saturday. Would you like me to escort you to the ceremony?"

Kathryn gave a nod. "I would. I mean...people will probably expect it."

Those words hurt him, she could tell, as they made it sound as though she only wanted him at her side out of duty. But she would rather him think that than to know she wanted him there out of love.

"So," she went on, "I'll beam to your place at about 18:00 hours. The media will probably camp outside my house and...well, they'll have a harder time spying on us in your complex."

"Yes," he agreed.

"So I'll see you then. Goodbye, Chakotay."

"Goodbye," he replied.

Kathryn then turned around and in moments was gone.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE