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Chapter 25 - Without You, Raising The Sword
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When they arrive to Chishin to see if they can meet Geun Tae to ask for his help, they accidentally bump into a hungry kid who steals Yona's food. Of course, they can catch this kid easily and they don't want to let the kid go easily.
"Yun, it's alright. He's just a kid, why not we let him go?".
"but Yona, he just stole your food!? You're pregnant, you need more nutrition—".
Yona covers Yun's mouth before he blabbering more "okay, stop right there, mother".
"Miss Yona, Yun is right this time. It can't be helped because you're four months and three weeks of your pregnancy. Barely five months, you're supposed to stay at home yet you're still travelling".
Turning to her Dragon Warriors, Yona offers sweet smile with undeniable strict order in her voice "he's just a kid. We should just let him go, got it?".
Except Shina who only nods his head, three other Dragon Warriors say in unison "yes, ma'am".
"forgive them, they can be overprotective sometimes", Yona reassures him before she looking up. When she finds a bird, she shoots that bird with her arrow before handing it to that kid "here, you're hungry, right?".
"you're so cool!", Kalgan beams up to her with sparkling eyes "just if you were not pregnant, I would ask for your hand to be my bride!".
Jae Ha clears his throat "you have a long way to go, kid".
"oh my, what an adorable kid", Yona laughs when she realizing how her companions freeze, especially how funny Jae Ha's face "but I'm so sorry, even if I'm not pregnant, I can't marry you. You are younger than me and not my type at all".
Yun deadpans "so blunt and straight like always".
Kalgan lifts his finger, pointing to five men behind her "but which one your husband is, then? The father of your child".
Ops. It's sensitive topics.
Kija is about to say something but Zeno and Yun quickly cover his mouth.
Pointing Jae Ha who standing protectively behind Yona, Kalgan lifts his finger "does he the green-haired here?".
Yona clarifies that those five are her companions and not one of them is her husband "because the father of my child... he passed away months ago...".
Kalgan gasps, knowing he just makes a mistake from how sad her face. Bowing his head further in shame, Kalgan apologizes "I'm so sorry, Miss!? I don't know that and you have my condolences".
Yona smiles gently, though her smile doesn't reach her eyes likewise "it's alright".
Kalgan wonders how she can smile like that "...you don't feel lonely?".
"lonely?", Yona narrows her eyes serenely "sometimes, I am... because it feels like the part of myself have died along with him but the fact that I'm not alone, I still have our child on my womb and my family on my side, that's what strengthen me"
Kaya wraps her arms around Yona, hugging her from behind "Miss, don't be sad. The baby can feel it too".
Yona smiles apologetically "you're right, Kaya. Now, let's finish our business here".
They send Jae Ha (who half-heartedly objected about it inwardly because it feels like he's a horse of their group and part of himself make him doesn't want to leave Yona) to go to Chishin Castle and convey her words to meet with General Geun Tae for urgent matters. Unfortunately, they arrive at the bad timing because Yun Ho tells them that Geun Tae isn't here, he's gone away to Hiryuu Castle for Five Tribe Meeting and they don't know when they can meet with him. With nothing they can do until Earth Tribe General come back, they escort Kalgan go back to his village. It turns out Kija, Jae Ha and Shina are getting sick. Because of her pregnancy, Yona is totally banned to see or nearby three sick men. Kaya, Zeno and Yun are the only one who can come near them. Outside the tent which fulfilled by three dragon who have a sickness, when Kaya cooks the broth for their sick friends and special chicken soup for Yona, Yona who wants to give the change of water basin, overhearing the conversation between Yun and Zeno with three other Dragon warriors who have fallen ill. Her eyes widen at what she has heard. That Dragon Warriors have short life-span.
Yona flips the tent opened, revealing the shocked Yun and Dragons. Looking down to the ground, she scarcely looks them in the eyes "...Four Dragon Warriors have short life-span, does it true?".
Yun tries to reason with her "Yona, what you heard just now—".
Yona snarls with the tone telling that she doesn't want to receive distraction or void words "just tell me, does it true?!".
Looking down in shame, Yun closes his eyes tightly "...yes".
"and not even one from all of you who care to tell me?!".
Yun still tries "we just don't know how you would react over it and afraid of your reaction?! Because after you lost Hak—".
"I am still alive!?", Yona snaps back, only continue after Yun and Dragon Warriors are taken aback "true, many times in fact, I really hoped I just could die with him after he died just like that without even knowing that I'm pregnant with his child, because of protecting me and our child when we fell from that cliff, and it felt like I have died along with him, but I survive and I am still alive because of you, my Dragon, my new family and my child! So, how could you keep such important thing as secret from me, while all of you always have endangered your life to protect me just because of the ancient vow, the ridiculous suicidal mission those selfish Gods gave to first generation Dragon Warriors, just to protect a single human?! A weak girl like me!?", breathing raggedly, panting, Yona rubs her temple before turning her back "...I need to clear my head, leave me alone".
"what's wrong, Miss Yona?", Kaya is confused, bringing their food. When Yona only walks away from the campsite passing her by, Kaya turns her head to her husband and smiles serenely after witnessing distress on Yona's face with tears threatening to fall from the young mother's eyes "so, care to tell me about what happened, husband?".
Zeno lifts his hand nervously "we can explain, wife".
Meanwhile, Yona keeps walking away from the campsite after retrieve her arrows and bow. Ignoring her midwife and young doctor's ban to train, she trains using her bow and arrows.
It's so unfair.
After she lost Hannah and Hak, she has to lose her Dragon Warriors, too?
Why live is so cruel? Why fate is so cruel? Why Gods do not help her?
No, it's not true.
Live have been cruel, it always has.
Fate are not decided by Human living, but Gods.
It's not that Gods never help her, because at least they still help her. She still can meet with Hannah and Hak again, soon, as her children. Gods help her to continue her life through Yun, her Dragon Warriors and the people she has met with after Hak's death. Gods only give them ordeals, it's Human's choice to keep walking forward and going through it or not.
There's a meeting, so there'll be separation. She should have known it and prepared herself for it. Sooner or later, she will be separated with the people she loved. It's her choice now, to cherish the time they have been spending together as long as they still can be together, or to be alone rather than feeling the pain of separation anymore.
Lowering her bow, she kneels on the ground, panting as she wipes her tears.
Kaya crouches her body beside her, tapping her shoulder "Miss".
Looking up to Kaya's worried face, Yona wraps her arms around Kaya's shoulders as she cries harder.
"ssh, there, there...", Kaya hugs her, patting her back soothingly "want to talk about it, Miss?".
"I know it's not their fault, Kaya... to not able to tell me... don't want to hurt me... and only try to protect me...", leaning her face to the crook of Kaya's neck, Yona hiccups "but... after big sister Hannah... father... and Hak died... I don't want to be protected this way... leaving me clueless of how the world work and ignorant... unknown of my people's circumstances... I prefer to know the truth... no matter bitter it is... rather than being protected under sweet lie or secret...".
Kaya nods her head, wiping her tears "now, Kaya suggests Miss to take a nap to rest after she has her lunch, to rest both her body and mind".
That day, Kaya and Yona disperse to help Kalgan's mother looking for Kalgan. On the outskirt of the village, Yona finds Kalgan. Her heart drops to her stomach when she sees Kalgan running back to his village with a soldier with sword on his hand riding a horse in tow. She tightens her bow, releasing her arrows to kill two soldiers behind Kalgan but more soldiers are upcoming this way. Kalgan tells her that looks like after war between Kouka and Southern Kai Empire ended with Kouka as the winner and Kin province is going to be a part of Kouka Kingdom, the stragglers of Southern Kai Empire attack the villages around the border because they intend to burn Kin province to the ground rather than let Kin province fall to Kouka Kingdom's hand.
Yona ruffles Kalgan's head "Kalgan, go back to your village and tell everyone in the village to run and hide somewhere safe. Help each other in the village to evacuate, got it?".
"how about you?".
Yona smiles down to him "just give that medicine to my comrades and tell him to run, too".
Tugging her sleeve, Kalgan asks Yona to run "no!? I can't leave you here?! You can't fight them all alone?! How about your baby?!".
Yona pulls Kalgan to hug him tightly before leaning her forehead into his, cupping his cheeks "thank you, but if I am still given a chance to live along with my child, I hope my child will become a good kid like you. Now, go back".
Looking behind, she sees Kalgan running back to his village after she pushes him.
Without someone trustable enough to fight, Yona raises her sword to protect her sick comrades and innocence villagers who stay behind her back. Maybe people will think she's crazy, because what a frail, pregnant woman can do alone with her sword?
Caressing her bulging stomach, she looks forward, pulling her sword out of its sheath "it's so strange... I don't feel afraid at all, instead I feel calmness washing over me. I don't know if it's because Death no longer scare me, or it's just me who have been ready to die for so long".
Closing her eyes, she prays "Hak, big sister Hannah, please forgive me for the path I have chosen this time. Maybe I will lose my life and the baby, but I can't just stay still. Guide me and let's protect this country, together".
Opening her eyes, she raises her sword with hardened expression "but right now... I have a reason to not die".
"Kalgan!? Where were you?", Kaya approaches Kalgan who stops by near their camp, panting "do you meet with Miss Yona? I and Miss Yona are looking for you because your mother said you disappeared again".
Lifting his face, Kalgan pulls Kaya's sleeve before reciting what happened "help her?! or she's gonna die?!".
"Kaya, please bring Kalgan to the village and help villagers to evacuate", Zeno turns to his serious mode "I will try to ask Miss Yona to go back and I will deal with them".
"wha—", Kaya touches his bicep "even if it's you, but to do it alone is—", clenching her fist to chest, she asks Yun to take Kalgan to the village and help to evacuate before she retrieves her own bow and arrows which she has earned from Gigan "then, I will go with you and assist you".
"you can't?! This is different with when we're on the Sensui?! You could be killed?!".
"so what? I have to stay on the safe place while my husband fight against an army?! What I told you before I'm not helpless and I don't want to let you fight alone—".
Zeno cuts him off with kissing her.
"Kaya, please...", Zeno pleads and touches her biceps, leaning his forehead into hers, panting after kissing her "I have lost you once. I'm not gonna through it again".
Yun clears his throat, covering Kalgan's eyes "in case you two forgot it, there's a kid here. Besides, if we don't make it quick, Yona is going to be in danger".
"fret not. Brother Jae Ha has made his way to Little Miss with Hakuryuu and Seiryuu in tow as we spoke here. Zeno bet they have arrived on the battlefield".
Yun and Kaya protest in unison "why don't you tell us sooner!?".