Song for this chapter: Ronan Keating - This I promise you
/watch?v=9FjeiaaJNRw
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From The Bottom Of My Heart
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Jill watched Leon quietly as he bent down to pick up the key and give it to her.
The two were looking at each other for a few seconds without saying a word, so Jill unlock the door.
"Jill ..." Leon said in a calm voice "You don't need to let me in, unless you want that too... I need some answers, but I don't want to be the only one looking for them ... Only open this door if you want to also understand the what happened to us."
Jill was silently staring at the door with her back to him. She realized that although he had gotten there, he kept his pride. This was one of those times when Jill really did not know what to think, but she just opened the door. He deserved that opportunity, since she didn't really know what to blame on him directly and because Jill also wanted to understand everything.
She pointed to the sofa, without looking at him. While Leon walked slowly to sit in the couch, Jill brought two glasses of water. She placed a glass in front of Leon, on the coffee table. Holding the other glass, she sat in the chair to his right.
Although she was terrified before her own sensations and feelings at that time, Jill could show an incomparable calm. Still keeping a cool attitude, she managed to raise her eyes for the first time and face Leon, who understood that she was waiting for him to speak.
"Jill ... I ... For a week I was trying to understand what had happened ... I arrived at the hotel and the first thing I did was to call you. After waiting hours for you to call me back, I tried again. Suddenly I discovered that you traveled without say anything, and after trying a few times to reach you on your cellphone, I finally gave up. I realized I had no right to think I owned you. But I did get angry on your attitude." Leon looked at Jill, probably expecting some reaction, but as she said nothing, he continued "A few days later I realized I was no longer angry but confused. I realized that you were too special and maybe I didn't deserve such a special woman because of my conduct... with other women. But I also realized how much your presence and your words had an impact on me. During those meetings and boring lectures, I realized I did not want to be there anymore just because I did not have to be that superhero that everyone expected. I just needed to do my part. For the first time I dodged all flattery and praise and I felt so good about myself. I felt normal." Leon paused for a moment and took the glass of water in front of him, taking a sip. "Then I started thinking that life only brought you to me to teach me to stop torturing myself because of people's expectations and also mine. I thought that was the only reason to have known you... Until a few days before my flight back I decided to go to the hotel pub. A woman was looking at me with some interest. I had nothing left to lose, I decided to let her approach, but my mind was not there. I started drinking wildly as I realized that you weren't out of my mind and soon I was telling that woman everything that happened between you and I. Until the confused outcome where you disappeared without saying anything to me ... She was very nice, because although she was probably looking for fun, she was very patient with a drunk guy and she also told me something that woke me up. She said that perhaps you were afraid of what you were feeling or even hurt. I then thanked her attention as I could no longer stand up and I went to my room to sleep. The next day, I thought of everything that could have scared you away and I realized that I could have given you reasons, even indirectly. I thought it could be the fact I never told you I went on that mission during my vacation, but I knew it was not enough. After all, I was never the best man in the world ... But I want to hear from you, everything..."
Jill realized that those words had more impact on her than she would like.
"I ... I do not know exactly what to say, because I recognize that I don't own you either.. So ..." Jill said with sincerity.
"Please, Jill ... Let me understand what is happening or what happened."
Jill took a deep breath trying to draw strength and courage to speak.
"You really didn't do anything directly. I could not question you about the people you were involved before me. I just ... I just realized I needed to take better care of myself and my feelings when I heard someone speak your name and say about your relationship with a spy as the reason for your loneliness. I did not believe the rumors completely until I found your name and her name in the reports in the B.S.A.A. I must assume that it surprised and scared me to discover that an agent like you was investigated for having defended a criminal, thinking it was your old spy friend. A risk and an error that we could only do for a person who ... was really important to us. Again I did not think I have the right to question or charge you for anything, but I had a right to protect myself. Somehow I could understand your attitude because I know that we can not choose who we love..."
Jill looked at Leon curiously, he did not seem surprised to hear her talk about the spy, as if he expected that that was really the reason for everything.
"Important ... Maybe you're right in some way. But love ...?" Leon smiled slightly, leaving Jill even more confused. "I'm not really the best man in the world to identify and define what love is, but my life experience allows me to clearly define what is not love, and Jill, I never loved Ada Wong. When everything happened in Raccoon City and I met her, I was really delighted with her mystery. I literally let her wrap me around her seduction ties. We met on a few occasions and I truly liked the game we played, I was fascinated. And this fascination made me think that Ada was really the woman of my life for sometime. That thought of mine lasted many years, until Ada and I finally had a real encounter. And .. well, I do not know how to explain it without seeming rude..."
"Do not worry about it ..." Jill was serious but calm.
"Well ... Sex was fantastic as I imagined, but when it was over, all that was left was a cold woman, colder than a wall, lying in the bed next to me. We had nothing to talk about, we had nothing in common and I felt that neither of us was interested in finding out about our personal lives, as if it would break our charm. In the end, after sex Ada made me feel the same way as all the other women with whom I was before, the only difference was the "fantastic sex". Of course, this detail was enough to make me wish that it could happen sometimes, but the mystery, the fetish was not the same. Sometime passed and my interest in her decreased significantly, I even thought I had the Don Juan Syndrome. That maybe she had lost the magic for me just because I had gotten what I wanted. But in my mission in China, the last time we met, I could see clearly what I felt. When Helena, my partner there, encouraged me to go after Ada, unlike other times, I did not consider that possibility. I know that to save her from the hands of Chris was a mistake because I was saving actually a criminal, Carla Radames. But I just asked Chris to not kill her, because in addition to own my life to her for other times she saved me, she was never a really serious problem and indirectly she was useful sometimes. And even If I had some sort of affection for her, I didn't stop Chris from doing the right thing, I knew he would arrest her."
"That made your name came up to other companies and you were investigated for a possible involvement."
"I knew it could have gotten some agents' attention, but I was not worried. There was nothing to worry about because there was nothing to be found or discovered. And about Ada, although at times she returned to my life and she was, at some point, my dream. I am no longer a kid lost in illusions and spy movie stories. I know today that seduction is fascinating, but love is beyond seduction and attraction." Leon paused for a second and took a sip of water and still holding the cup, he looked at Jill "My parents did not have a very harmonious relationship, my mother was very beautiful and it looked like my father did not trust her because she liked to provoke him, they used to argue a lot. I think they loved each other, but they didn't have a kind of relationship that got my admiration. Unlike my grandparents. They liked to do everything together when they were together. But what impressed me most about them was how my grandfather liked talking to my grandmother, he used to come home from work every day and talk to her for hours. They were lovers, friends, confidantes. Complicity and confidence was the strongest bond of that union. I do not think I need to tell you which relationships inspired me. Which one I really wanted in my life and I used to dream about. And although I'm not the best man in the world to describe love as I told you, I can define the quality of feeling that I expected from life. I always hoped to love someone and to be loved like my grandparents did. For years I preferred to be alone than to be in an incomplete relationship with any woman, a relationship with no love, respect, trust and admiration."
"But Leon, we cannot choose who we love." She said with a sad tone.
"I agree. But passion is not love. When we are immature and think we are incomplete, we expect someone to complete us and we often chose the wrong way. When the curtain falls and we see the reality we realize it was never love, only passion. Passion that burns up and down with the same strength of a blaze. But when we are mature and realize that we are complete and we can live well by ourselves, we allow ourselves to look at people as they really are and not as we would like them to be. That is what happened to me. At that moment life brought me a different woman, the woman I really expected my whole life. A woman who is also complete, besides mature and noble. A woman who faced many things and proved she has an impressive inner strength. A woman that can make me go crazy in a bed with her delicious sex and still can caress me after, talking and hearing me talk about life with affection, tenderness. A woman able to do any single moment unique and special. I woman I love to talk to. A woman I admire and trust. Someone who for the first time...
Jill was looking at Leon with her eyes teary. He took the phone and pressed something before placing the device on the sofa.
Leon stood up, reaching out to Jill. She accepted his hand and he pulled her closer to him. They were hugging each other and Leon looked at her firmly.
"For the first I can think about my future. For the first time I hope to have a future and for the first time I see a woman with me in it. Jill, I'm don't know how to explain exactly, but I feel at home, and I've never felt like this before, I don't wanna miss you. I know maybe there are things about me that can make it hard to believe what I'm saying, but please... Give me a year, a year to prove to you that I am not an empty man as it seemed. A year to prove that what I feel for you is real and that it comes from the bottom of my heart. Because you are right, we can not choose who we admire, who we want, who we trust ...
Leon's cellular started playing a song.
*PLAY SONG
"And in all these days I could not forget you for one second, I can only conclude that I could not help falling in love. But that's what happened. I'm madly in love with you, Jill. I don't know if I deserve such a spectacular woman like you, but I'll try to."
A tear fell from Jill's eyes and she looked into his eyes.
"Sorry to disappear without giving you a chance to explain yourself. But I had to look after myself. You are the first man in years to bring me back and when I heard about everything ... Well ... I didn't want to suffer." Jill sighed and realized that Leon shook his head in understanding before she continued "I know it will not be easy to deal with our jobs, but ..." Jill smiled warmly "I could not choose my feelings either ... It just happened. I'm also in love, although I tried hard to hold my heart back. And I ... well, I think you deserve a year of my life. I can sacrifice it" she said in a funny tone.
They both laughed before kissing for a few seconds.
"Some men are womanizer just because they haven't found the right woman yet. You will prove that, Ms. Valentine."
"I hope so, Mr. Kennedy. Don't make me regret..." Jill was interrupted by his lips.
"A year ... Prepare the bed, I must do this year worth it." Leon said between her lips.
"Only one ..." Jill repeated laughing as the kiss intensified.
Although life was made of uncertainties and even our best intentions could give us no guarantees of making things right, experience would always be something good just because they could make us better, more experienced.
And even when we failed in our choices, what really mattered was that we were always looking for love. And for love, everything would always be worth it.
Leon really deserved that opportunity, not only because a part of Jill's heart was screaming to be with him, but mostly because she knew that true love was everybody's goal and we all would certainly go wrong a lot before really reaching it.
Yes, of course she was still afraid of getting hurt, but she agreed with him, nothing and no one was better than time to show who people really were in our lives. And Jill was willing to find out who was Leon in hers.
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Heeeeeeeeeey! OMG!
It is good but at the same time sooooo sad to know this story is ending.
It was a great jorney, for sure.
Well, for this ending I was inspired for older RE games, but mainly inspired by RE6, where we can see how firm he is about his dutys, unlike before. He didn't consider going after Ada, when Helena suggested him that. And even more important when he told Helena he didn't trust her, since there is no true love without trust. So I based my comprehension on his feelings from his own words and actions.
I hope it was all coherent to you guys. If I missed something for this moment they did things clear and right, please let me know.
I'd like to thank you all for your support and friendship. For each review, for the faves and followings. They surely meant a lot to me.
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