Over My Head
But that's how it's got to be;
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy;
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see;
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears.
Day Two
Isaac Heller, District Five Male
"Stop fidgeting Isaac," Brazen slaps my hand and grins playfully when I look up at him. His hair is hanging down, water droplets splashing to his knees. We're out of the rain but nothing seems to be able to keep us dry or destroy the chill deep within our bones. The Arena's already playing with me but Brazen, he seems like nothing's fazed him. Like all the death hasn't had any lasting effect yet.
Not for me... I killed her. Maybe it wasn't my knife, I didn't exactly mean to lash out at her. In the bloodbath it was all just going so fast, instincts took control and I thought I had to defend myself. Her face yesterday, shining so perfect in the sky, it could have been my knife and I don't know how I can recover from that.
It feels real now. Brazen's done nothing but tease me and maintain the friendship we had formed in the Capitol. He just doesn't get it though, this isn't what either of us thought it would be. It's no walk in the park, our egos aren't something that will keep us invincible and mark our path to the finale where we'd have a fight to end all fights. It doesn't work like that. Not in real life. I killed a thirteen year old girl and that's something no one, not even Brazen, can put right. He just doesn't understand.
"What's the plan for today?" I say with my eyes stuck on the cold cracked floor. These houses are good for shelter but nothing could keep the noise of the howling wind from creeping its way through. Something goes on outside during nighttime. We all thought the weather was awful to begin with, but now, I'll never set foot outside after the anthem.
"We made it quite far yesterday. I'd say that we try and find some of the other tributes, they shouldn't be that hard to handle. But there's this large building in the distance, it looks pretty sweet." He grins and punches me hard in the arm. I try to muster up something to show him that we're still friends but my face hurts so I just stand up and pull the strap of my backpack over my shoulder. We're okay for food and water, and weapon wise we each have a couple of knifes and Brazen found a mace. Maybe I should be positive about my chances and resort back to what I've always been like. Something though won't let me, it's her face, all I can see is her face.
Funny how that works. Woven and Katri both died yet I feel nothing but emptiness. They might have been accessories for helping myself and Brazen get further, but come to think of it we had no real bond, they were awful people. The little girl from Three, I never spoke to her once, always pegged her as a bloodbath. And she was. Because of me.
"So we heading up there then?"
Brazen nods eagerly, grips his mace tighter, and leads the way to the front door. It hangs on its hinges, the dreadful wind last night having completely shattered the wood into splinters. Brazen laughs as he kicks it down and runs wildly into the rain, turning around and splashing into puddles like a child. It's nice to see him sticking to who he always is, not letting anything break him just yet but I want to tell him that it can't last much longer. Reality has to sink in sooner or later otherwise he won't last long and I'll have lost a friend. A good friend.
The road's slippery as we walk, outside each little house there are bushes cut into different shapes. A large claw, a weird cat like animal and a dagger which almost seems to have a hint of red to its leaves. This is meant to be haunting but all I see is a neighbourhood with a bad weather system. Nothing too bad, for now at least.
Brazen's pointing forwards, swinging his mace around. At the end of the road is a massive building stretching across the landscape and blocking out whatever's behind. My voice cracks as I try to shout out at Brazen. This isn't good. It's here for a reason, it's not some kind of holiday where everything's all warm, cosy and entertaining. Brazen can't hear me and he continues on towards the large steps leading up to the door. I hurry after him and concede to let him explore. If I try to hold him back too much he might turn on me, or at least argue back and I can't face him not trusting me. I bet I'm the laughing stock back in Five. Mr Attention Seeker should be soaking up the fact that all eyes are on him, but here I am looking sullen and feeling as if the world's pushing down on my shoulders and with each second I'm slowly sinking into something I know I can't claw my way out of. Let them laugh. I deserve it.
Funny how people change.
"Wow," Brazen's mouth makes a perfect 'o' shape as we take in the room we've now entered. The carpet is blood red and leads up to a wooden counter with a screen behind, it crackles with life but some of the glass is shattered and it soon dies. There are cobwebs and dust motes swirling around, Brazen though takes this as some kind of adventure and sets forward to a gaping hole in the left where the red carpet has been rolled so perfectly. They want you to go in there Isaac, shout after Brazen, put him in his place. Don't let that idiot be the death of you.
"Shut up," I whisper harshly. "Just shut up and leave me alone. It's because of you I killed a thirteen year old girl. Piss off."
I hear a laugh inside my head and groan with the beginnings of a headache now pounding inside my skull. Brazen's laughs echo along the corridor and just as I pick up my pace the narrowness of the hallway opens up to reveal a room the size of... well the size of nothing I've ever seen. Thousands of seats go from where we are, down what must be a million steps, to stop right in front of a majestic stage. It's like where we had our interviews only more magnificent. The red curtains have been pulled forwards to cut off whatever is waiting behind.
"Maybe we'll get to watch a show, that would be hilarious," Brazen doesn't wait up, although what can I expect, and leaps down the steps five at a time. He takes a middle seat and I join in. How stupid must we look? They're not exactly going to put on something for us tributes during the Hunger Games. They want blood and gore not singing and dancing.
The lights dim just as the curtains pull back revealing a pitch black stage.
Okay then. Maybe I was wrong.
"We can stay here now Isaac, sleep in these chairs."
"I thought you wanted to hunt?" I ask, although I'm happy that he's no longer keeping up with his egotistical ideas that we can take down any tribute.
"They'll kill themselves off eventually, or come find us and we can take them down in the comfort of this wonderful theatre."
A bright spotlight illuminates something on the stage and Brazen pumps a fist in the air. I'm stuck with someone who is going to get me killed in a place that is obviously meant to deceive and no doubt torment us. Yet I can't walk away because I genuinely care for him. The old Isaac curses at me but I push him down and lean backwards into my seat.
Might as well see how things play out. At least I've got the right mindset, if something bad happens I'll be ready, there isn't much that can surprise me now.
Cloe Harker, District Four Female
The swing creaks as Aryanna kicks her feet against the ground. She pushes herself up slightly but there's no real energy as she soars through the air. Her smile is grim and her eyes are stuck on nothing in particular. I watch as she goes back and forth, the rain attacking her face and getting in her eyes and mouth. She spits water every second but there's no hesitance as she continues to swing this way and that.
Then, finally, as her eyes land on my own she frowns and her feet skid against gravel until she's stopped. I try to smile at her and let my facial expressions do the talking since the lightning strikes continuously hitting faraway places make it almost impossible for speaking to carry, but it seems even something I used to be good at has dulled to nothing. Aryanna's reputation back in Four used to make me want to be whoever others wanted me to be, smiling was second nature, but it seems both of us have lost the cheeriness. Well, my cousin's was always real, my own was fake. But I don't like it, the numbing inside makes my stomach somersault like I'm going to be sick.
At least, somehow, I don't feel like I'm useless. Aryanna's evident change and her willingness to drop the competition in everything she does has helped. I'm not a perfect person, no one is, and Aryanna is still far spectacular in everything she does. But she's helped me find my feet and develop a certain strength. I still can picture clearly the moment I stood up to Iris, that was some kind of new Cloe, one that would never have existed had I not have been reaped for the Hunger Games.
"I'm sorry Cloe," her eyes are downcast as she walks over to me and sits down to join me on the steps of the slide. We've found some little park area amongst these buildings, it basically is just like a town. Only ten times as scary with never ending rain and a darkness that only lifts when the streetlights and lightning cut through.
"What for?"
"I haven't felt myself since I killed that Rhuben kid, but don't worry," her fingers intertwine with my own and she places her head onto my shoulder. "I'm not leaving you or anything. Cousins forever remember." She then laughs gently and I copy the light sound as her body shakes next to mine. I pity her I really do, having to kill can't have been easy. Maybe the Aryanna who didn't take things seriously and loved the dramatics of everything would have relished the kill, or at least pushed it aside. But this Aryanna, a good person, would crack under that situation and it must be eating her away inside trying to put on a brave face for me.
The best I can do is not sink into myself and let my emotions get the better of me. No matter if things get overwhelming and I feel that I'm falling again, I will stay strong for her. Maybe the roles have reversed in a way. I don't like that idea, I want to be strong only if she is as well.
"I could enjoy myself if it wasn't for the knowledge that there are tributes out there. This rain's nice."
"Nice?" My laugh is shrill but I like it and she throws her head back and chuckles, letting the rain pelt her face.
"We never got much rain in Four. I don't know about you but I actually quite like it. Plus, we've got some swings, a slide, a round-a-bout. What more could a girl want?"
"Diamonds?"
She slaps me gently on the arm and then stands up, gripping my hand tighter and hoisting me up. I see her eyes and the way the smile on her face doesn't reach them but I pretend I don't notice anything and look back at her. She pulls off the backpack and unzips the largest compartment. We've each got a set of large throwing knives each, I have a sword and Aryanna has picked up some of the glass she's seen lying about the place. After searching through for twenty or so seconds she pulls out a plastic bag full of little crackers and shakes them gently.
"Breakfast time."
"Mmm, tasty."
We both know our light hearted nature isn't as real as the other might hope, but at least we're not crying and moping about the place. I almost feel embarrassed with myself, Aryanna and others I occasionally let witness that side to me must have thought I was pathetic. But times change, I hate this Arena but being in the Capitol with Aryanna has saved me, and saved her. We are better people because of it.
She hands over the first cracker just as lightning cuts the air again. This time we both scream and a wave of heat smacks me in the face.
"That... that was much closer than before." Aryanna's eyes are wide as we scream again. The bolt of electricity plummets into a patch of grass just outside the park fence and the ground explodes underneath. Aryanna pulls me up, my heart is beating in my ears but I can just make out her shouting for me to run. Heat blasts me again as the noise pounds the earth but we pump our legs against the ground as hard as we can to get to the main gate. Aryanna's hand is sweaty and I can feel myself losing grip but I push the panicking side of myself down.
No. We won't die. Not now.
"CLOE!"
I look at Aryanna just as I get pushed backwards and my head hits the ground, hard. I see stars, everything's swaying but I push past it and stand up as quickly as I can. Aryanna's staring at me with wide eyes just as another bolt of lightning strikes between us.
"Cloe... Cloe you have to run."
Over everything I'm amazed I can hear her, despite the rain I know she's crying and something snaps inside me and the tears prick the corners of my eyes.
No...
Aryanna!
"I'll see you soon. Don't worry."
The lightning strikes again and Aryanna turns to sprint away. The Gamemakers are prying us apart, and nothing I can do right now will help me reach my cousin.
I will see her again. I don't care what the Gamemakers want, they can throw their tricks at us but family is family and we'll find each other.
The roads are a blur as the lightning continues to strike and I soon get lost within the Arena. What seems like an hour passes before my breathing returns to normal and I slow down. The rain trails down my cheeks and mingles with my tears.
I'm alone. But Aryanna is still out there. I have no idea where I am and I doubt she does either.
"I'll see you soon. Don't worry."
You will Aryanna. I'll come find you.
Daraeh Elwood, District Five Female
The way forward has been laid out almost too perfectly. The rain's halted over our heads but showers down on the houses either side of the hill upwards and gradually starts to heavily attack the ground behind.
The Gamemakers want this, they want their first battle since the bloodbath.
I grit my teeth and automatically my hand finds the blade hidden within my pocket. I'll kill if I have to, for my own survival, it's not something I'll be proud of but it's necessary. We all want to live, some of us are willing to break and change. I'm not. I'm simply hoping the after effects of murder are just hyped up as something no one can escape from. Maybe I will be okay. But I shouldn't have to consider death or killing just yet, this is Avalon's doing. I no longer bite down on my tongue, this isn't right.
"You're being stupid Avalon!" I shout over the howling wind now swirling about, adding to this appalling weather. She turns on the spot, eyes burning and lips turning upright into a snarl. This isn't the Avalon I met in the Capitol. Her desire to rescue that little boy – someone I should want to save but can't will myself to – has overwhelmed her entirely. I should be afraid but I don' quake under her fiery glare, I only bristle up with more rage and try to make myself look bigger.
"Dimanine and I shouldn't have to die for your stupid attempt at a rescue. It won't work." Dimanine has her head bowed, feet gently scraping the concrete awkwardly. I know she agrees but she's also changing too much. I held my tongue last night because I wanted to let her grieve, but now that we know he's alive... no – I'm not staying quiet.
"Koder is a twelve year old boy. An ally Daraeh. We are not leaving him to die at the hands of the careers!" Spit flies and she turns to storm off. I feel myself visibly shaking with rage. It's good to care for someone but in the Hunger Games putting your life on the line for someone who is going to die anyway, it's not smart. Dimanine raises her eyes to meet mine and she frowns before turning to follow Avalon up the hill.
"We don't have to go with her."
Yet, I'm not a monster. I find myself marching after my allies towards a fight at least one of us will no doubt die in. I don't want to die. I'm not ready for that, I'll never be ready for that. My knuckles have turned white and all anger is slowly dissipating and warping into a sense of fear I don't want. If I'm to survive a rescue that shouldn't even be happening I have to conquer this terror travelling through me. It won't go well - four careers versus a little delusional boy, a girl hell-bent on rescuing him, and two girls who are just trying to survive – yeah it won't go well at all. Although I'm now not sure about Dimanine, I should be able to rely on her but now she's not who I thought she was.
Why am I so cold? I was always hot-tempered and stubborn but I still enjoyed the company of others.
This is the tribute in you Daraeh. You're no longer just Daraeh Elwood. You're Daraeh Elwood, District Five tribute.
Avalon reaches the top of the hill and Dimanine pauses next to her to peer over her shoulder. I attempt at least the slightest of smiles but it doesn't get across and swearing under my breath, I hurry to reach the two of them.
"Glad you decided to stick around," Avalon says, her tone laced with bitterness. She wants us all to lay down our lives for Koder. I'll fight for my allies but I won't die for them. Only people like Avalon are deluded enough to do that.
"Call me stupid but I can't just walk away." I nod at Dimanine who manages to grin my way and we head towards the opening in the hedge.
"Remember this is their plan all along. Be prepared, they're expecting us," I whisper. The two of them nod and Avalon takes the lead, raising her weapon in front of her and crossing the threshold. The rain begins to patter gently and then the storm fully reaches us and I feel the breath get knocked from my lungs. Dammit. I bet Iris is hating this rain with all her long pretty hair, I don't care about that. For her it's all about maintaining an appearance as well as trying to lead the careers into oblivion. For people like me it's just about surviving something we didn't want in the first place.
"Welcome to the party."
I hear the career's voice before the knife soars through the air. Avalon yelps as the blade sinks into her shoulder. Blood immediately wells around the silver and drips to the ground but she's in this for Koder and that overpowers her. She roars and charges towards the careers. Dimanine has her fighter face on and charges after her.
"This is stupid," I mutter, but no part of me would ever just leave the two girls to their fate. I run after them and watch the four careers come into focus as the rain and wind pick up as the seconds tick by. Lance picks up the spear in his hand and steps forward, his face grim but steely determination swimming in his eyes. Declan and Cora are just as miserable looking and then there's Iris who's skipping with glee as we all meet and clash weapons.
Adrenaline courses through me and I raise the sword just in time to block Cora's attack. Avalon is trying to sidestep Iris to reach the Cornucopia but the girl from One isn't having it and alongside Lance they push her back.
"Fuck," I curse loudly and parry Cora's next blow and slam her backwards with the hilt of my sword. She swings again but her eyes follow Declan who sprints past and tackles Dimanine to the ground, it gives me the chance to slap her across the cheek. Her head snaps to the side and as she's momentarily stunned, I push her to the ground and sprint as fast as my legs can carry me to the Cornucopia.
I have to rescue him because it'll get Avalon out of here and we can go before one of us dies.
"I don't think so," a sharp pain stretches across my scalp as I'm dragged backwards by my hair. It's painful but I grit my teeth and twist my body so Iris falls flat on her back. Lance has Avalon pinned to the ground just as Cora and Declan retreat to the Cornucopia.
"Get off her!" Everything's happening so fast now. Dimanine tackles Iris off me, blood pouring profusely from her forehead. Then there's a high pitched scream from inside the Cornucopia as Koder rushes out. Cora screams as the blade drives between her shoulders and she falls down. Declan has to pluck the knife out and Cora screams again.
This is getting out of hand. Cora's not dead from that attack and now Declan is tugging her along as Koder sprints towards me and Dimanine.
"Night night girl."
We all turn. All eyes following the truly evil voice. Avalon's neck is slit from left ear to right, Iris grinning as her knife drips with my ally's blood. BOOM!
Now we're really screwed.
Koder Saffron, District Six Male
The careers aren't as clever as they think. A little knife is lying next to me, hidden so the girl from Two couldn't see it when she chucked me in here. It's not fair though, I've been tied up and captured. That's not what people like me have happen to us, we do the tying up. It doesn't matter though, soon enough I can get my revenge and then find Avalon, Daraeh and Dimanine. I hope they're okay. Without me they probably think they're alright, but I was – no, I am their protector and they do need me more than they know.
What if they think I'm dead though?
I manage to bite my lip through the tape keeping me from shouting but when I attempt to chew through it nothing happens.
I've given up on screaming but it doesn't matter now. This little knife is my way out and then the villains will pay for keeping me captive. It's confusing why I haven't been killed already, I heard something about Avalon which only makes me move faster.
A shout rings out and there's the sound of fighting. What's happening? It's awkward and puts pressure on my wrist which starts to make it ache but I drag the ropes over the blade of the knife and eventually they fall down. I could have done this earlier but if there's fighting now's the perfect time to get them all. They won't see me sneaking up behind them.
I smile and rip off the tape. My fingers tighten round the handle of the knife and with a battle cry and a spring in my step I charge out of the Cornucopia and lunge out at the nearest person. The blade travels into Cora's shoulder blade and she screams. Ha. She deserves the pain. See, heroes always win.
There's another shout and I look up as Declan tries to help Cora, ignoring me completely. A-Avalon? The three girls are fighting off the other careers and I sprint towards them. Now I can prove myself and show them that I'm their prince, the hero of this game. There are footsteps behind me but I don't care. Avalon and the other two are in trouble.
"Night night girl."
Her voice sends a chill down my spine and blood spurts out of... no. NO.
Avalon crumples and I feel the ground swaying. My body falls in time to the cannon and a sharp pain twists through my wrist. Maybe it's broken but Avalon- Avalon, she's... I don't want to cry but I feel the sobs tear through me like a great monster and I curl in on myself into the tightest ball I can become. My entire heart thuds harder against my ribs and something that burns comes up my throat and pools onto the concrete below. I want to stand up because there are still the other two to protect. But... Avalon was always the main princess and in more ways than one she looked after me as well. W-We were like siblings.
Her blood meets the rain and spreads closer towards me. Everyone's snapped out of the silence that followed Iris' murder of Avalon. Daraeh tries to grab Dimanine's hand but the two are quickly surrounded and I can't see what's happening.
"Move Koder," I don't know what's going on because nothing will push me to stand up and go to the other two. Heroes don't freeze up even if the bad things happen. But then the princesses never die. Happy endings are always at the end of the stories and this was supposed to be that way for as long as possible.
"Daraeh. Dimanine." I try to cry out but Declan and Cora sprint past me. For some reason I'm not attacked as the four careers swarm my two allies. I'm going to die. They're going to die. And no matter how bad I want to help them my legs just won't move. My eyes flicker back to Avalon's dead body and I throw up again.
She can't be dead. It's not fair. It's not right. She had a little brother and she was the most brilliant person I've ever met. Daraeh and Dimanine are shouting out and somehow Lance and Iris are pushed back and Daraeh slashes Cora's cheek open. The career girl cries again but then roars with anger and advances on the two of them. Daraeh blocks a blow from Lance and then Iris before pushing into the two of them and dragging Dimanine with her.
They aren't leaving me. They're actually sprinting towards me.
"Guys..." my voice is weak and cracks as the two of them reach me. Daraeh pulls me up and slaps my cheek slightly. My ears are ringing but it helps bring me back to my senses and I cling on as she carries me on her back and then we start to flee.
"You three aren't getting away that easily," Iris leads the charge.
"Quick, we can't go back the way we came!" Daraeh turns tail and flees towards the opposite direction. It's bumpy but honestly I'm okay with that. I still can't focus and white dots are spread across my eyes. Avalon died. She died. I failed her.
My voice croaks as we pass the Cornucopia and head to the nearest opening in the hedges. We're getting closer and closer when a high pitched scream causes me to cry out.
Dimanine is clutching her back, blood seeping between her fingers. No. Not again.
She plucks the arrow out, looks up at us with confused eyes, and then the colour drains from her face.
"No... no." Daraeh starts tearing up but as Dimanine falls she pulls me up and gets a tighter grip on me before sprinting even faster. I look over my shoulder and watch Lance lower the bow. He snaps it in anger and then storms off to sit down, abandoning the chase. Only Iris continues until we pass the hedge and she gives up.
BOOM!
Dimanine's now dead.
I feel that burning liquid rising again but I swallow it down and cry into Daraeh's back. She's sniffling and manages to pull her hand up to wipe away a few tears.
"I knew it wasn't a good idea," she mumbles before we go on in silence down the hill and towards the lower town. They came up to save me because I couldn't help them. Now it's just me and Daraeh and I know that now she'll hate me forever.
"I'm sorry Daraeh. I'm sorry." I wipe away the tears and cuddle into her back as she continues to run as fast as she can.
I failed Avalon and Dimanine but I won't fail Daraeh. She's now the most important person left to me and I'll protect her through everything. Now I'm not tied up I'm actually useful and able to do something. Maybe we will get along. I hope so. I don't ever want to leave Daraeh's side so I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave her side.
Mohair Trill, District Eight Male
The two cannons earlier have shaken Tiller up. We've all noticed what's been happening to him, even now he's fidgeting and looking over his shoulder every few seconds. Athena's done nothing but rub her nose and wince as it cracks under the pressure. Ander, he's been the only comfort, trying to smile and help me along but I just don't know how it's even possible to smile in a place like this.
Only yesterday our alliance lost three members. Tiller's master plan was all he had left and now that the effects of such a fast paced event like the bloodbath have worn off he's a complete wreck. It's all crumbled apart, anyone can see that.
So why are you still with them? The little voice whispers inside my head. I shake it away but continue to feel the uneasiness slither around inside me. Ander and I should just get out now before Tiller tries to regain some of his dignity. He'll attempt an assault on the careers, either pack will do in his mind, and then we'll all be screwed.
"You feeling alright?" Ander nudges my elbow, I blink rapidly and focus on his smiling face. He's the same Ander that made me feel whole but the cracks are showing and each time he looks at Tiller, I see the smile turn into a frown and his eyes show the sadness mixed with complete rage at the careers. He was closer to this alliance after all, I never truly belonged here and their cry for revenge will get me killed.
So why am I still with them? I can't answer the question myself. Maybe it's because I'm too scared that Ander will reject me and I'll be left alone. Or maybe he'll even rat me out and the three of them will kill me. He wouldn't though. Ander and me are friends. The only person that told me to stand up for myself and here I am thinking about him murdering me.
I bite my lip and ignore the metallic taste of blood. It's already getting too much. This Arena, this alliance, everything.
When it got too hard to handle back in Eight I couldn't show it and a part of me knew that now I was free I could shout and scream and curse until my entire being was content. But I'm growing smaller and smaller. I can't even reply to Ander, my mouth won't form the right words, I simply nod and avert my gaze on the way ahead.
This place is a never-ending stream of little buildings and pavements and roads and streetlights and I hate it. It reminds me too much of the richer side of Eight where everything wasn't run down and left to ruin. Some of the houses when we tried entering them for the night were bolted shut, the curtains pulled back and left to hide whatever was within the building. Athena wanted to break in and search. She was outvoted immediately. Anything could be in those buildings and we aren't about to set them free.
"Are we actually heading anywhere then Tiller?" Athena pipes up and winces again as she touches her nose. I don't know why she keeps doing it even though she knows it's going to hurt. She's probably not used to such an injury and is hoping it'll get fixed sooner rather than later. The rest of us are alright, we got away with our lives and our bodies intact. It's more than what can be said for the other three.
"We need to find an appropriate base where we can start planning again," Tiller replies coldly, peering over his shoulder and then shivering. He kept muttering in his sleep last night. The bloodbath has had very bad side effects on his mental health. More so than ever do I feel the importance of walking away before it's too late.
"Why didn't we just stay where we slept yesterday? Or why don't we just go into one of the hundreds of houses we keep passing as the day goes by? Any one will do."
"Most of those houses are locked and I don't feel comfortable resting in a place next to those sort of buildings. We've been through this."
There's another crack and Athena swears under her breath. She then grumbles loudly, we're all aware she's not pleased with how Tiller leads things, but concedes to let him continue onwards. As the two of them fall silent and pick up their pace, Ander falls in beside me again. I see the way his eyes lock with mine and I let them fall to the ground below. He knows something's up. He knows me more than I know myself.
"Don't lie to me Mohair."
"I'm not."
Ander sighs and runs a hand through his hair, pulling the sodden strands apart and tucking them into his hood. It's still raining but no one seems to care much about it anymore. Ander moans occasionally but it's not like yesterday when all we seemed to be doing was cursing about this damn weather.
"Mohair I've been by your side since we got on the train. I know something's up, now either you tell me now or I'll call the other two and we won't move until you let us know." His eyes are warm but I know he's telling the truth. All he does, he does for me because he can relate. Yet a part of me wishes he would maybe back off a bit and let me fend for myself, then the weakling inside of me knows that if he did that I'd give up entirely. I was supposed to be strong now that I wasn't ruled by someone anymore. All I've done is grow weaker and weaker.
"This isn't working Ander, it stopped working the second Emily-Mae died."
"You're telling me you cared for her?" he laughs but then tries to mask it with a cough. I raise an eyebrow and he blushes slightly.
"You know what I mean. It's bad that she died, no one deserves it, but she wasn't exactly the most likeable girl around."
"She was still one of the best allies we had. Fawn wasn't much but she still kept us rooted in who we were. We're only teenagers and she acted like a teenager, I liked having her around to remind me of that. Wesley, he was great as well. And now we're left with Tiller who's lost himself completely and Athena who's biding her time to stab him in the back. It's just not working anymore."
He nods and I feel him grab my hand, nails digging into my palm. I hold back any kind of noise and let him whisper into my ear.
"We won't go yet. But don't you worry, I won't let anything bad happen to you because I know you won't let the same thing happen to me. We're in this together alright."
I smile and he lets go of my hand. The two up ahead haven't noticed a single thing and we jog slightly to catch up. He'll never hurt me and I couldn't possibly ever hurt him and soon we'll be leaving. It's enough to keep me rooted to where I am and not let myself shrink deeper and deeper into the dark. Soon we'll be free of this alliance that's doomed to fail. Things might just start getting better after that.
Leta Bridgeway, District Eleven Female
"We need to hurry and find somewhere to sleep for the night," Vesper grabs the sleeve of my jacket and pulls me along with her as she jogs up the street and takes the next right. I try to pull her away but she's got that determined edge to her that's unbreakable. Reluctantly I let her guide me past the dark houses and watch the rain fall under the glow of the streetlights. It's almost pretty but then I'm reminded of where I am and who my ally is and it all comes crashing back down.
Vesper calls me a friend. I don't know what to believe any more. It used to be about fitting in with her and being the bitch that she wanted me to be. I felt uncomfortable and hated myself but it matched the life I led in Eleven so it wasn't as if I wasn't used to it. But now without the other tributes for her to mock and little Maia for her to use, we've done nothing but go on in silence and do our best to ration food and survive.
It's worked for two days but who knows how long it can go on like this. Vesper only speaks to me when it's to boss me around and the only other times I hear her voice is when she's whispering to herself in her sleep. I know what she did and yet I can't pull myself away from her and set out on myself. All that's kept me going in my life is the company of others and adapting to fit them all, Vesper is a monster but she's my anchor and keeps me going. I know we're destined to fall and yet I can't pull myself away from her and be my own person. She's got a hold of me and I can't escape.
"That damn wind will be starting up any minute now and all these houses have miraculously been bolted shut," she swears and I yelp when her nails draw blood from my wrist. She doesn't even apologise, she simply continues to pull me along like I'm her puppy and I have no say in the way I'm to be treated.
If only I had the strength to stand up to her and for once show off a side to myself that deserves to be shown. I need to find my own personality instead of conforming to whatever satisfies this girl. Not today though, the thought makes me physically sick so I push it to the back of my mind and focus on keeping my feet steady and watch as she turns again. This time the street has gotten wider. The houses are further apart and much larger than previous ones. A lightning bolt hits somewhere not too far and Vesper curses before dropping my arm and marching up the path and pushing on the door of the nearest house.
"Dammit! Are the Gamemakers trying to get us all killed?"
"Yeah, pretty much," I whisper but there's no way she can hear me over the claps of thunder and pouring rain. The weather just won't cease, not a ray of sunlight anywhere and as soon as you begin to relax in the light trickle of rain it turns into a complete downpour and nearly washes you away.
Maybe I could use that to get away. In the blur of everything she won't even know which direction I've taken and she won't try to kill me since she wouldn't be able to find me.
It terrifies me though. Vesper is ruthless and not the girl I originally thought she was. I knew she was controlling and a bitch but there's a darkness to her that no one can rival, I don't even think most of the careers are as bad as she is. Having a person like Vesper targeting me over everyone because I left her alone.. it sends a shiver down my spine and once again I don't say a word or make an attempt at moving away.
"Stay here, I'll come get you when I've found somewhere."
She doesn't let me speak of course, my suggestions don't matter to her in the slightest. She storms off at a fast pace and disappears into the rain. The fear sets in almost immediately, a deeper fear than being with Vesper because now I am alone in the darkness. A breeze begins to whip against my cheeks before the strength increases and my hood flaps down and rises in the wind. It's starting.
"No, no no no no no," I look around with wide eyes and start to panic.
"VESPER!"
I don't want her near me yet I can't be apart from her. How does that work? The anthem sounds over everything and I watch as the girl from Six appears followed by the scowling face of Dimanine. I don't feel anything over that. Does that make me like Vesper? Maybe it's just because I never grew closer to her over our time in the Capitol. I hope that's why. I will not turn out like Vesper. I'd rather die.
The anthem blares out for the final time today and then the wind pushes me forwards.
"NO!"
I saw it happening last night. It was so strong. Too strong.
I see Vesper trying to run up to me but it attacks her too and she ends up getting flung forwards. Her face crunches against the concrete just in front of my hand and she cries out in pain. Even if she's a vile human being I try to crawl towards her. On the ground it's not so bad but as soon as I pull her up we're thrown about like dolls again.
"Over... over there," I can barely hear her but she gets a tight grip on my hand and together we sprint. I try to forget everything she's done just for these few minutes where surviving means more to me than what's within Vesper's heart. The door's wide open letting the light stream outside and the fear is defeated just for a second by the hope of living another day.
Somehow we make it just as the wind takes the door up and sends it flying somewhere in the distance. It's strong in here and freezing but we hurry to the next room and huddle into the corner. She has her head tucked into my shoulder and I have my arm wrapped round hers. Right this very second she's just another tribute, another innocent girl taken from her home and forced into this death match.
But tomorrow I know it'll all change and I won't know how to break free. I watch as she tries to assess the damage to her nose, the bone is wonky and the blood runs freely but it's not as if it's a fatal wound.
Would you be happier if it was?
I shiver again and look down into my lap. Maybe I would because then she'd die and I could finally leave without having to worry about either killing her or having her on a revenge mission against me. But then it makes me feel like the worst person around because right now she's just a little girl who could have died a minute ago.
I wish Maia was here. Or I had chosen a different alliance. If I'm wishing for things maybe it should be that I was never reaped in the first place, then none of this would be happening to me. No matter how guilty I feel over wishing it on someone else every other tribute except the careers would want the same thing. It doesn't make us monsters, it makes us human.
Over My Head by The Fray
Avalon Caverly, District Six Female
Dimanine Granadite, District Eleven Female
NinjaMadness, I'm sorry about having to kill Avalon off but for any of her alliance to develop further she had to go, but she was great whilst she lasted.
Insert a Catchy Penname Here, Dimanine was a personal favourite because I enjoyed both the caring side and the fiery side. I was torn however on what to do with her and unfortunately I had no choice but to kill her off, I'm sorry.
Author's Note: So the deaths have begun and like I promised with each chapter there will be at least one ;) Daraeh and Koder's POVs did overlap to begin with just because I wanted to show Koder before it all went to hell xD
This chapter was a lot of fun to write. There were some slow moments but I like having some action POV's and some relaxed ones so I do hope you enjoyed this chapter.
For those of you who have seen that I have a new SYOT don't worry, it won't effect this story at all. I'm aiming to update once a week for both this and that one so as long as I stick to my schedule everything should be fine :)
Question time!
Stand out POV and why?
Did the deaths surprise you or are they what you were expecting?
Thanks for reading!