A/N: Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes, as this chapter has only been edited twice by the same pair of eyes.
Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to one, J. K. Rowling.
WARNING: This chapter has some dark and suggestive events. It is of a Teen rated nature. You have been forewarned.
It was strange to hear the castle so still. Gwen sat huddled in her cloak on the Astronomy tower, looking out into the night. The students had left that morning for the Christmas holiday, leaving Gwen with some free time to herself. Granted, there were still some students but enough that the other staff members could handle them. Stacy was with Iris in the headmaster's apartments. Gwen still did not like the idea of Stacy spending unsupervised time with that witch but she had to respect Severus's opinion. He trusted Iris with Stacy. She had to accept that.
The falling rain turned to snow before her, the wind whistling. Shivering, Gwen cast a warming charm. She came to the tower not only to get some fresh air but to decide on what to get Severus for Christmas. Potion flasks or vials seemed too practical. It would be their first Christmas together, after all, and that required some sentiment. But what?
There wasn't any current research being done in the field of potions (the Dark Lord's influence had effectively stopped any scientific or academic progress). Severus already had several books on varying topics. He wasn't the knickknack sort and giving clothing as a gift seemed a mother's gift, not a wife. Gwen smiled to herself, her mind drifting to the thought of what their Christmas could be like if it was just her and Severus.
They would sleep late, waking in each other's embrace. Gwen would make Severus breakfast and together, they would open their gifts to each other. She would be shocked and happy with whatever he had chosen, while Severus would love Gwen's gift. They would spend the day together, curled up in front of the fire just talking.
"It's getting late to be daydreaming."
Gwen screamed, clinging her heart, turning to see Severus. Seeing his smirk, she sent a hex at him which he easily dodged. Severus sat beside Gwen, looking out into the whirl of white. Neither spoke as Severus brought Gwen into his cloak, sharing his warmth. She snuggled closer, rubbing her cheek on the thick wool.
"Do you ever wonder, how you will die?"
Gwen's head popped up. Severus's calm eyes slid to hers.
"Why would you ask such a question?"
"It's rude to answer a question with a question." He replied seriously. She looked away, thinking.
"I never needed to." She resisted the urge to tighten her hold around his torso. "You know already, don't you."
"Dumbledore and I discussed it before his death."
"Did he know Draco would kill him?"
"He knew that was Draco's mission. The plan was for me to kill him when the time came. He didn't want Draco to have his blood on his hands."
"How could he ask you such a thing?" frowned Gwen, thinking how horrible it was that a friend would ask a friend to be his murderer.
"I would prefer that it had been me, Gwendolyn, than Draco. Draco is suffering heavily because of this act. Suffering I could of prevented."
Gwen raised her head, meeting his eyes.
"How will you die?"
"The Dark Lord will command it. If I am lucky, by the Death Curse. Otherwise, it will be slow and painful." Her arms tightened around him, hoping that her body offered some comfort. "It will be a dangerous time for you. When you get word of my capture, I want you to take Stacy and run. Disappear. In time, you will be able to return but directly after my death, your life will be in great danger. Bellatrix alone is salivating for another go at you."
Gwen ignored that unpleasant thought.
"Why don't we run now?"
"There is still a part I must play."
Silence fell around them, each looking out into the snow storm. The whistle was high, an inhuman whine that sent chills up Gwen's spine. Severus seemed unaffected by the sinister sound, his fingers lazily stroking through her curls.
"I don't understand," Gwen sighed. "But I know I can't change your mind Severus. I promise, that when the time comes, I will do everything it takes to get Stacy to safety."
"Thank you my love." Severus pressed a kiss to her forehead. Gwen felt her insides tingle, a soft smile forming. My love. He had never called her that before. Leaning against his secure and warm embrace, Gwen decided she liked this pet name and hoped it wouldn't take another four months before he used it again.
Severus escorted Gwendolyn to their apartments, kissing her goodnight on her doorstep. Severus felt conflicted emotions holding her in his arms. He didn't want to let her go to bed; at least, not without him beside her. He allowed their kiss to be long, their embrace tight and close. Severus wanted so much to nose her curls, inhale her and never let go. The door with a hanging wreath however, was a reminder of his other duties. They spoke in hushed voices, wishing each other a good night before Gwendolyn quietly closed her door between them. Severus could see the disappointment in his wife's eyes but could do nothing about it.
Changing into his own nightwear, Severus went to Iris's room. Unlike every other room in the Snape apartments, Iris's room was dark. Even the air felt dark. His guard had immediately heightened when he first entered the room. His fingers had twitched for his wand. The furniture had sharp straight edges, casting long shadows on the walls and floor. Grey and black seemed to be the room's color – though it was mostly white. It was the darkness that made it seem so sinister. Not to mention the woman herself, thought Severus, tossing aside the comforter and settling into bed.
The bed was at least comfortable and large enough that Severus wouldn't have to feel Iris while he slept. Unlike Gwendolyn, Iris's body next to him made his heart race and his flight instinct kick in. It didn't help Severus to sleep at all.
Punching his pillow a few times, Severus laid back, staring up at the ceiling. It was almost one in the morning. Gwendolyn's patrols had been long again, as she had come across two young lovers in a closet. Severus, watching from the shadows, listened as Gwendolyn reprimanded the two, took House Points and sent them on their way. He thought her punishment was somewhat lacking but then it wasn't in Gwendolyn's nature to make the students suffer. The rest of her patrols had been uneventful, her manner almost distracted, as she strolled lazily down the corridors. Severus was tempted to sneak up on her but had thought better of it. Gwendolyn was still unaware that Severus followed her in the shadows. It's probably best to keep it that way.
The door opened and Iris slipped in. She was unaware of Severus lying in her bed, her manner calm and efficient. He watched in interested as she removed her heavy dark cloak, releasing her hair from its ponytail before kicking off her shoes.
Her whole attire was black. Her boots muddy.
"Iris." The witch looked up sharply, her wand hand flexing to her side. When she saw that it was Severus, a smile came to her face and her manner relaxed.
"Severus darling, I didn't know you were coming tonight."
It was an obvious lie, as she turned her body away from him. Her tell, as her eyes always failed against his gaze. Severus watched as she went casually to her closet, pulling out a nightgown. The moment Severus saw Iris on their wedding day, he knew he could never trust her. Her smiles were too easy and she overcompensated for his lack of attractiveness. Not to mention her multiple side glances to the Dark Lord at the reception. He had known then that Iris was assigned to be a spy in his home. But to what purpose, he didn't know.
In all honesty, Severus felt insulted. Iris was clearly a greenie, her lacking skills a neon sign to her strange behavior. He knew she was roaming the castle at nights and that sometimes she would sneak into the forest. Why, he wasn't sure but he had a pretty good idea who his third wife was working for.
"I told you this afternoon I would be here. I must report to the Dark Lord about our intercourse status come Sunday."
Iris used her body as a tool. She purposely used it in such a way to distract or arouse Severus. Changing into her gown, she was sure to stretch out her body, letting him have a good look before covering it up in her short, skimpy, nightgown. Severus, however, was not that easily distracted. He was a professional after all.
"Is that the only reason Severus?" Iris purred, coming to the foot of the bed. Severus's eyes were passive and bored as she crawled seductively onto the bed, straddling his body. Her teeth scraped his ear. "Don't you want me?" She brushed his body with hers, letting him feel every warm curve.
Iris didn't wait for his answer, moving instead to remove his shirt. Severus grabbed her wrists, preventing her, so Iris attacked his throat with her mouth. As she bit his neck hard, Severus forced her onto her back, her wrists above her head. His knee came up between her legs, his weight keeping her from moving.
Her eyes were dark in desire as she tried to move beneath him. Severus watched as she became turned on, her pulse quickening and her breathing heavy, licking her bloody lips. His stomach churned, thinking of his gentle Gwendolyn asleep in the next room, while he had to dance with the devil. Iris wrapped her leg around him, using it to help bring her mouth to his. Severus's eyes remained open as she kissed him hard. Their eyes were locked, hers egging him to respond.
How he hated those eyes.
Those stunning green eyes that could have been Lily's very own, but they weren't. Iris's eyes were windows to her soul. A soul that was truly ugly and cruel. Not only was the witch too eager to please Severus, her tastes were dark like any Death Eater. Even her sexual preferences were dark in nature, and blood. The chit couldn't even hide her true loyalty.
Those eyes seemed to laugh at Severus as he held them, squeezing her wrists and letting his anger consume him. His control hanging by a thread. Iris laughed, curling her body against him and letting her head fall back. Severus's lip curled in disgust before he released her hands.
Iris kissed wetly up his jaw to his ear, licking and blowing against it. Severus felt her fingernails bite into his shoulder blades, her hot hands digging down his back. Growling, Severus dropped his head to Iris's neck, biting down hard. Iris let out a loud scream, hugging Severus tightly with her body.
"Where were you?" he demanded, squeezing her. Iris's eyes closed with a flutter, her mouth slacking and her body tensing. Severus pressed her ruthlessly into the bed, bruising her body. Her eyes flared open, her hands digging deeper into his back, her thighs clamping hard on his hips.
"I only went on a walk, dearest."
"You weren't in the castle."
"I took a walk on the grounds. It was your suggestion, after all, that I get fresh air by taking walks on the grounds," she taunted, pulling at his clothes. Severus didn't allow her to actually remove them. Pressing his weight into her, he felt rather than heard Iris grasp for breath, and saw the pain in her eyes. They fought with their eyes, Severus only letting up when it was clear Iris would soon pass out from lack of oxygen.
"A walk on the grounds? What were you doing out of the castle– you know it's very dangerous to be out in the dark alone."
Her eyes didn't mask their anger or hatred.
"What are you saying?" Severus grimaced as she dug deeper into his muscles. His lip curled.
"Only that you better watch your back, dearest."
Severus could see the understanding flash in her eyes, as they betrayed her panic. Iris was a true pureblood though, covering it up just as quickly, putting a smile on her lips and pulling Severus closer to her lips. Veiled threats were put aside, as both had an agenda to complete.
Gwen was having trouble sleeping. She could hear Severus with Iris next door. He had forgotten the Silencing spell. Knowing she would only make herself agitated and cross if she stayed, Gwen pulled on her dressing gown and went into the living room. Thankfully, the room did not allow any sound to follow her. Setting the kettle to boil, Gwen curled up on the couch and looked into the fireplace.
Her thoughts drifted to Christmas but this time, not about the holiday. She was thinking about Christmas Eve, when the Dark Lord will brand her as his own. The very thought sickened Gwen but then, what could she do? What could Severus do? There was no way to get out of the ceremony without blowing everything Severus had worked so hard to complete. Gwen couldn't be selfish enough to risk the lives of the wizardry world, all for the sake of her own skin.
Still, she couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was a way. Some way around this whole situation. Gwen was so into her thoughts, she didn't hear when Severus came out of Iris's room. Had she noticed, she would of seen how twisted Severus face was in his anger. Upon seeing Gwen though, his face immediately softened and he took a step forward as if to embrace her.
When Gwen glanced up, she was too stunned by Severus's appearance to even squeak. Her mouth dropped, taking in the blood that soaked his collar, the scratches on his face and arms – the horrible bites all over his neck. Gwen couldn't believe it! Everything about Severus's wounds seemed to be the results of meeting with a bear in the woods. His shirt was torn, he was missing a sock and his pant leg looked misshapen.
"Merlin," breathed Gwen standing. Severus looked away from her quickly as the shame set in. He flinched when Gwen touched his hand, lifting his arm gently to the light. Meeting her husband's eye, Gwen pulled out her wand and began the simple cleaning charms and first aid remedies. Severus stood, unable to move, as his wife took care of his wounds. He didn't speak or move, till Gwen told him to hold his arms out.
"Gwen, please, you don't have to do this."
"Shush." Gwen forced his shirt over his head, her eyes widening at the sight of his skin. True, Severus was naturally covered in scars, so that was no surprise to Gwen, but to see the fresh evidence of being clawed – it was horrible. Summoning a healing salve, Gwen went to work covering every inch of Severus's skin.
"I started the kettle if you want to have some tea."
Severus shock his head to decline as Gwen moved to his back. It was worse than the front. Gwen felt a strong aching inside to pull Severus into her arms and cradle him from the world. She knew he had to do horrible things – that he has done horrible things– but to see the evidence so fresh on his body…
When will he be freed?
Severus stopped Gwen from completely undressing him in their living room. He took a step back, holding his pajamas up.
"I'm going to shower, then get some sleep. You should get some rest as well."
Gwen nodded, unable to speak, sending the healing salve away. Severus took in her tired looking form and how her worry lines seemed deeper than normal. Exhaling, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly and burying his face in her hair. Gwen clung onto him, rubbing her cheek into his scarred skin. Her nose twitched when she registered Iris's smell on him, stepping back.
"I'll see you in the morning." Gwen quickly moved away from the scent.
"Gwendolyn."
She stopped with her hand on the door knob, not turning to look at him.
"Thank you." He said it softly, so softly it was like he hadn't. Feeling her walls crumble more, Gwen had to force herself not to look back, let alone run into his arms. Seeing her go, tore at Severus in a way he never thought would happen again.
Slumping onto his own bed, Severus stared at the wall before opening his nightstand drawer. Withdrawing a small frame, he looked at its backing before he slowly turned it over. The witch was smiling brightly up at him, a mysterious twinkle in her green eyes. Lily Evans Potter had always been beautiful in Severus's eyes. As children, Severus had known he would do anything for Lily. His love for her was indescribable.
Through every rival, every disappearance, every killing, and every gut wrenching promise, Severus had only thought of Lily. His whole life had been dedicated to her, in his fertile attempts to right his wrong against her. Lily had kept him alive. It wasn't about Potter or even the Dark Lord. It had always been about her. The one woman he had ever loved with his whole soul.
Looking down at her picture, seeing her smile and those captivating eyes, Severus felt something different inside him. Like some part of him had changed. His eyes drifted to the other picture that was now also hidden away beside his bedside. It wasn't framed but it was just as important to Severus as Lily's image. The witch in the photo wasn't aware that her picture was being taken, her eyes focused on the man beside her. You could barely make out their joined hands under the table but the look in the woman's eyes was clear. His finger gently stroked the witch's paper cheek.
Circe, why did she have to love me?
He thought how silent and solemn she had been, healing his scratches and washing away his blood. Her hands had been soft and gentle along his skin, her manner caring. She had lovingly healed him. Unlike Lily, Gwendolyn had yet to abandon Severus. Even when she had every right to. He had whipped her! And she still said she loved him. Gwendolyn forgave Severus, when he couldn't forgive himself. She was a far better soul than he had ever been.
He didn't feel he deserved to have such a caring woman to call his own. Their relationship only brought her pain, heartache and grief. Severus knew Gwendolyn was hurt by what she saw tonight, seeing the evidence of another woman using his body but she had merely helped him, instead of retreating to heal herself. She had every right to shut the door in his face to protect her own feelings and emotions. Yet again, she had put Severus before herself.
Looking back, Severus couldn't recall ever being put before someone else's own needs.
Taking a deep breath, Severus tucked Lily away, replacing Gwendolyn in her frame.
A/N2: I hope that I effectively communicated the point of this chapter. The idea of Severus dying needed to be planted into Gwen's mind, so she'll begin to think about what the war might bring her. Knowing that Severus is planning to die may affect Gwen's decision about how to care for herself and Stacy.
As much as we all dislike Iris, it was important to know how she interacts with Severus outside Gwen's view point. Iris and Severus are playing a game - which Severus is obviously better at. I wanted it to be clear that Severus knows that Iris is a spy but that he doesn't yet know why she is spying on him (Kudos to all of you who figured that out too). Her trips to the Forest have left him puzzled but realistically, Severus would have to follow her to know what she's up to, which could leave Hogwarts vulnerable.
As to their clearly abusive um... foreplay... keep in mind that Iris is a Death Eater. On the morning after Gwen's wedding, it was made clear that Death Eaters are rough. I thought it would be out of character if Iris didn't also lean this way and for Severus to keep up appearances, he has to play along. Poor Severus :o(
As for the scene with Gwen healing Severus - I needed some way of getting Severus to really think about his relations with his first wife. PANISA reminded me that Lily couldn't be completely left out of this story. She is the reason he did what he did. I wanted to bring her in but to also show how her hold on Severus is losing it's power. That Severus is allowing himself to be loved by Gwen, which hopefully will allow him to love Gwen in return.
Sorry for the long explanation but I just wanted to make sure we are on the same page. If you read this and thought "how the heck did she think she accomplished all that?" just send me a note on where I need to tune up the story.
p.s. Severus is letting Iris watch Stacy as a strategy move. Iris can't risk Stacy seeing anything she could tell Severus about. Stacy would innocently tell Severus everything that happens while she's with Iris. So yeah, Severus isn't being risky here (maybe a little). He's trying to prevent Iris from accomplishing her mission.
R&R!
Katherine Sparrow: You saw right through me :o)
Nessa: My readers are either too smart, or I think I'm too subtle, lol. Severus is suspicious as to why Voldy wants to boost the population and wants to keep the pregnant staff close in case it's something really bad. He really can't be too cautious considering who he's up against. I'm glad you liked the decoration bit - I was kinda worried that ppl would think it was lame. Idk but it's the simple interactions that really get me in a good relationship.
karahalio14: As always, I love getting your reviews. I hope you won't be too mad at me about the whole Iris thing that happened in this chapter. Rest assured, it won't be happening again.
PANISA: Your review was so helpful! As mentioned above, I kinda just forgot to include Lily. I mean, I am writing this AU but some things do need to stay true to the books. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter as well and p.s. I love long reviews! They are the most thought provoking, which is helpful. Again, thank you for your insights! It really helped me think about what to write.