First post today, all chapters of this will be posted in full and this will be complete by the end of the day on the 19th of July. Enjoy, and please review.
Chapter: 25 Letters
31st of December
EPOV
It's New Year's Eve; Bella and I are making the food for tonight. The guys all take turns going to each other's house for the holiday. Everyone stays at the person's house, and has breakfast together the next morning. It's Will's turn this year, but due to what happened with Bella they have all decided to come over to Grandpa's instead.
Cole is busy putting the fairy lights on the ceiling. Bella is sitting on a chair in the kitchen making her special dips and decorating the cake she made. The other guys and their wives are all bringing something each to eat, as well as drink. I'm making cocktails following Grandpa's recipes; some are looking—not to mention smelling— lethal.
My mind has been preoccupied by the letter my parents left me. I still haven't opened it yet; Bella hasn't pushed it knowing that I need to get in the right frame of mind before I open it. No one from the Cullen family has called me either, looks like I'm still on their shit list.
It's six o'clock and Grandpa, Martin, and Cole have gone to collect the blow-up beds from Will's. Then they have to pick up the fireworks Cole ordered, and more beer. Bella has gone for a nap – the painkillers she's taking are still on the strong side, and make her sleepy.
I'm sitting in the rocking chair next to the window in our room. Bella's still having nightmares, so I stay close. She still talks in her sleep, and I have managed to catch bits and pieces of her nightmares and dreams. They are all different, yet the same. There is one where she's in the woods and some are about what happened to my mom and dad. There's a strange dream, where she's in a train station. She says she's not scared when she's there, just feels confused. We have talked about it, and she does not know where she is in the dream, but feels safe as there's a person or two with her.
I'm looking at the envelope which has my parents' letter in it. After taking a few deep breaths I open it.
16th of April, 1997
Seeing the date, I know they wrote this two weeks before they died and two months before my sixth birthday. It's written by my mother; I recognize her handwriting.
Dear Edward, my little Man,
Hi sweetie. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, but I feel the need to. I think with all that has happened these last few months, I'm just on edge. Your father keeps telling me not to worry that he will keep us safe, but I just can't get rid of the dreadful feeling I have.
I wanted to write a letter for you to read when you are older, just in case I'm not here anymore, but don't tell your dad, it's our little secret.
I love you very much; you make me very proud in everything you do. You are so smart. You get that from your father; believe me when I say that. I can't believe that you are starting Kindergarden after this summer. You are going to love it –me, not so much. I'm going to miss you so much when you go to school. The school has offered me full-time work, too; I still don't know if I will take it. It all depends on the outcome of one thing, but I'm still going to miss you. I love teaching you, and you have taken to music much like me; you are so gifted. Your dad cried when he heard you play the piano the first time. He hid so that you would not see his tears, but I did, and he was such a proud father. He's even talking about buying a record company, so if that's what you wish to do when you are older – he already has the right people there for you. I laugh and remind him that you are only turning six; he just shrugs and says that he wants you to be anything you dream about. At this, I remind him that last week you said you wanted to be a superhero; he told me that he already had someone making you an outfit, so that you can be the best dressed superhero around.
I love the fact you love playing the piano, I hope you never lose the love of playing. I watch as you play and make up your own music. Your little hands move so fast – I find it hard at times to believe that it's just you playing.
I'm going to have to close this for now, there's a little boy running around pretending to be Batman, and I need to get him in the bath, and then put him to bed. Before I go I want to tell you in case anything happens that I… that we—me and your dad, that is—love you. We are proud of you, we will be proud of you no matter what line of work you do, even if you end up as a janitor. As long as you try hard and are happy in your life, which is all we could ever want for you. If we can't be there with you physically, we will be with you spiritually. Take care, my little man, and take care of my heart, as I left it with you.
I love you.
plus que ma propre vie (more than my own life).
Love,
Mom and Dad xoxoxo
By the time I finish reading the letter; my vision is blurry from with tears filling my eyes; I'm crying. I'm crying so much that I did not hear Bella wake up. I don't know that she is awake until she hugs me in her soft loving arms.
"I'm sorry I woke you up, baby," I say a little hoarsely.
"Sweetie, you didn't wake me up, and even if you did, you would never have to say sorry to me." She looks right in my eyes as she speaks, and hugs me again. We stay like this for more than an hour, not once did she ask me about the letter. Bella never pries into anything that's difficult for me, she always waits for me to tell her, or show her.
As it's getting late, I decide to take a shower before helping Bella with hers. Before I go, I hand her my mother's letter for her to read. I'm in the shower for twenty minutes before heading out to get Bella. She has set out both of our clothes for tonight on her bed. As I hug her from behind, she turns around to face me. I see that she has been crying, as she gives me a weak smile.
"I love you – thank you for sharing the letter with me. She sounds lovely," she says as she kisses my cheek.
"Yeah, she was, and my dad was really amazing, too. My mom showered me with love – I had forgotten how much until I read the letter." I hug Bella and kiss her nose. "Now, come on, baby girl, let's get you washed up." I give her a wink and a smile, and pick her up.
She looks up at me smirking. "You know it's a shame you didn't get me dirty first." I'm so astounded by her comment; I can feel my mouth still hanging open. She moves her body and slides down my side, once she is standing on her feet; she slaps my arm and heads for the shower. I just stand there with my mouth still open, and she glances back at me over her shoulder. "Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there looking like a fish out of water?" I close my mouth, swallow and smile.
"Well, if you really want me to get you dirty, I'm sure that it won't take me long to come up with something." I move quickly over to her, pulling her back into my arms and crush my mouth against hers. I was not only kissing her, I was consuming her. I keep up the attack with my mouth, as I walk us into the shower, closing the bathroom door with my foot. We have been showering naked together for the last two days. I kid you not; Bella's rocking one sexy body. As we shed her clothing, my hands travel across her flesh. I stop kissing her so I can adjust the water and drop the towel I had wrapped around my waist. I begin kissing her again, as we step inside the shower. I only stop kissing her so that I can wash her long beautiful hair. After the shower, I carry her to our bed still making out with her. I can't keep my hands to myself as I trail them across the soft skin of her breasts. I keep my hands on her, but keep it to the top half only. I know Bella is touching more of my body, and has let her hand travel down to run her fingers through my happy trail. As much as my cock wants her attention, I have been patient. I would rather wait until she has her cast off before we did anything along those lines.
As I lie her on the bed, I move the towel that is around her. I kiss my way down her body, along the healing line left from where she stabbed herself. I have kissed her here before, and find pleasure in kissing all her scars, every one that I see anyway.
After I have kissed the scars, I kiss across her body stopping when I reach her left breast. I slowly begin kissing her nipple, stopping to flick it with my tongue. She threads her fingers into my hair, and pulls on it. I must say that I love when she does this; it is a fucking turn on. I start to suck on her nipple as my hand massages the other one. Bella lets out a long loud moan, which goes straight to my cock. I wasn't sure it was possible, but I'm even harder than I was before. My fingers start pinching and pulling at the peak of her right breast, as she moans out more. I have learned over these last few weeks that Bella likes the hard stuff just as much as the soft stuff, just like me.
I change sides taking her right nipple into my mouth. Pinching her left nipple now, while flicking her right with my tongue, makes my girl moan out even louder. She's pulling my hair and yet pressing her breast tighter to my mouth. She says my name, and I look up at her. Looking into her eyes, I see both lust and love. I'm sure that my eyes are showing the same things. She pulls my head back and leans forward kissing me hard. I know this is going somewhere fast, and we both need to take a step back. Almost as if we are reading each others' minds, she pulls back at the same time as I do. We both smile giving each other a look that says, 'I really want this, but we need to stop'. As I roll myself off her, I keep my eyes on hers. "I fucking love you, so fucking much."
She bites her lip and smiles. "I love you, too, Edward. Come on, we better get dressed, before I tie you to the bed instead."
I chuckle, and then the thought makes me hotter. "Bella, you can tie me to the bed anytime baby, because turnabout is fair play. And baby, I know I will definitely be tying you to it, soon," I say. I pull her up to me and give her one more scorching kiss and a nip on the neck before we get dressed.
Bella's in a midnight blue dress, I fucking love that color on her. It's also a really short dress; it only goes to halfway up her thigh. I recognize this as the dress she sent me a picture of the day she went missing. I start to feel sad about what I almost lost. Again, Bella brings me out of my thoughts as she touches my face. I give her a smile knowing that she came back to me. I will do any and everything to hold onto her until the end of time. I'm going to make sure that I don't lose her.
"You ready for some dancing?" She asks me with a smile, and a twitch of her hips.
I chuckle, and kiss her forehead. "Baby, I'm always ready for you." I give her a wink before picking her up and taking her downstairs. We are only downstairs for ten minutes before Grandpa, Martin, and Cole comes through the door. They all go upstairs to start getting the rooms set up. Grandpa, Martin, and Cole are sharing a room. Will and his wife are going into the spare room. Harry and his wife will be in the living room. Jack and his wife are sleeping in the gym area of the basement. The basement – gym area is really nice, thanks to Martin who designed it. Bella and I offered to take the gym, and give them our room. They said no, since there's no bathroom there, they didn't want Bella having to navigate the steps. Sue, Leah, and Seth are coming, too. Sue's going to sleep in Martin's room. Bree, Leah and Seth are staying in our room with Bella and me.
Lilly and Ella called yesterday asking Bella and I to come over for Sunday lunch on the ninth. We agreed to go, plus Grandpa, Martin, and Cole have planned a fishing trip that weekend as well. Grandpa says that you can get some great fishing in the first weeks of the year.
As Bella and I make the last minute touches to the living room, Cole comes in putting on some music. As soon as the sounds start from the speakers, there's a knock on the door. Everyone's arriving all around the same time; it's strange how it always seems to work out that way. I'm surprised to see Rose turn up. It turns out her mom has gone to Jasper's house to ring in the new year there, and she wanted to come here instead. We were happy to see her, and welcomed her with open arms.
The night goes well. There are plenty of laughs; all the ladies are in the living room and the guys are outside. The older guys are giving us younger guys advice.
"I will give this piece of advice, to any of you," Will says. He stops long enough to point at each of us: Cole, Martin, Seth, and I. "I know you don't have kids yet, but may have them in the future. So remember this now, it's important. If you are doing this, stop now; if you don't do it now, then don't ever start. Advice number one, don't use the word DIRTY in a sexual manner," he stops talking. Grandpa, Harry, and Jack are nodding in agreement the entire time I'm choking on the beer I was sipping. Choking may be an off term in reality; it flew out my nose as soon as he said sexual manner. "I'm not judging anyone; hey, I have done it myself. Take my advice though, and stop now – here's why. It will bite you in your ass suddenly, when you turn to your infant daughter and say 'Look at you now, you dirty girl.' Trust me, someday if you have a daughter you will say the term 'dirty girl,' and you will feel ashamed and creeped out by it. Second, the word SCREW; it's another word you don't want to use. You know 'wanna screw around?' Then later in life telling your child 'don't screw around.' Both are proper words with proper meanings, but when we change them for pleasure, well – we ruin them for proper use in the future. So, don't use dirty or screw in sexual terms," he says. Dropping his voice to almost a whisper he brings out the big one. "For God's sake, don't ever use the sentence: 'Do what daddy tells you'." Jack then wiggles his eyebrows at us, and we all fall out laughing.
Just as we are almost calmed down, Jack's wife shouts at him. "You ignored your own advice, when you said that last night!"
At this point, we all begin laughing again. I shake my head quickly, trying to get that image out of my head.
As it gets closer to midnight, we all go out to the back deck. Grandpa bought some champagne to ring in the New Year. Bella is only allowed a half a glass because of the medications she has to take. As the countdown begins, I grab Bella and pull her to me. I place our glasses down on the table next to us. I look right into her eyes as the ticker gets to ten. I cup her head, threading my fingers in her hair. Tilting her body back, my mouth makes purchase on her collar bone, and up her neck. Our bodies are fully pressed together by five. I continue to work my way up her throat and as the clock strikes midnight, my mouth takes hers in a deep, passion-filled kiss. As the fireworks explode above us, the fireworks between us are exploding, too. I slow down our kissing enough to allow her dipped body to stand, without breaking our lip lock. I pick her up and bring her up pulling her as close as I can get her, still kissing her the whole time. I'm completely entranced by her, and I don't see anyone or anything but her.
"Hey, are you planning on letting her go sometime soon? I kind of want to wish her a Happy New Year. I already talked to everyone else." I stop kissing Bella, and turn to see Rose smirking at us. I look behind her and see everyone is facing us with huge smiles on their faces, too. Before I can let her go, Rose is pulling her in for a hug, hugging me at the same time. We stand here still together and spend the next few minutes wishing people a Happy New Year. Seth makes sure to tell me how hot the kiss was.
We spend the next half an hour watching the fireworks. Bella sits on my lap the whole time. This has been one of the best nights of my life. Rose decided to stay with us, too, so the four girls take the bed leaving me and Seth with the floor. We manage to have a few laughs before falling asleep.
1st of January 2011
I wake to find Bella not in the room; all the other girls are still sleeping. I head downstairs and find her in the kitchen starting on breakfast for everyone. "How did you get down here? You know you could have awakened me. I wouldn't have minded," I tell her, as I bring her close to me hugging and kissing her. She looks up and smiles at me, giving me another kiss on my lips.
"I know, but you looked so peaceful. Seth was awake, so he carried me down," Bella says pointing at Seth who is sitting at the table with an apron on mixing pancake batter.
Seth stops mixing and flexes his muscles at me and smiles. "I may be gay, but I can lift her." I laugh, and nod in agreement.
The morning goes well, and everyone helps out. It's a really good start to the New Year for all of us. Everyone helped clean up before leaving to head for their own homes.
2nd of January 2011
Sunday lunch with Lilly, Phil, Ella and her family went well. Ella shows us a picture of the baby boy that she is about to adopt. He has spina bifida; his mother is only sixteen and was thrown out of her house when she told her parents that she was pregnant. She had always planned to put him up for adoption, knowing that the baby would stand a better chance with another family than with a teen mom.
The young mother was heartbroken to hear about the baby having spina bifida. She was certain that he would not get adopted because of it. She was ecstatic when she found out that Ella and Waylon were still planning on adopting him and caring for him. Bella was so happy for them; pleased they would care for a baby that had such a hard life to face. The day was lovely, and we both went to sleep that night completely tired out.
Monday morning finds me running around the track at school. Usually, Bella joins me when I run in the mornings, but because of her cast she has been unable to. I had even stopped going for a while, I just didn't want to leave her. I fucking hate leaving Bella, even if it's just going to the bathroom. Peter says that after what has happened that it's normal and it will take time. I left today because Rose had come by. I could see in her face that she was in need of some girl time. I have been here for two hours because I wanted to give them some time together. I also needed to have a good workout, because I have missed practice for three weeks now. I am on my sixth mile when my phone rings. I see it is my home number I smile and answer it.
"Hey baby, are you missing…"
A voice interrupts me, "Edward," my smile fades as I hear Rose's voice on the other side.
"Sorry Rose, thought that you…"
Again Rose interrupts me. "Edward, you need you come back here now. There's something wrong with Bella." Before she has finished what she's saying I'm already running to my car.
"Rose, what happened? What's wrong with her?" I feel bad for the sharpness of my voice, but don't dwell on it.
"I don't know, she was laughing and talking to me. I got the mail for her and she opened a letter. After reading it, she started baking and hasn't stopped. She just doesn't look right, Edward. I didn't want to ask about the letter. I called Martin and Charlie, they're on their way, too," Rose's voice is full of worry.
"Rose, I'm just coming up to the house, so I'm going to hang up now." I don't wait for her to answer me before I hang up. The drive should've taken me ten minutes, but I did it in three. I park the car and jump out, running into the house.
As soon as I enter the kitchen, I can see what Rose is talking about. Bella is clearly upset, and there is emptiness in her eyes. Other than the hurt I see, they seem dead. She's talking to Rose, but you can hear the hurt in her voice. I stand there looking at her, trying to calm down before I find out who has done this to her.
"Oh hey, sweetie, I didn't hear you come in," Bella says as she moves over to give me a kiss. I kiss her before looking above her head as Rose gives me a nod. Rose leaves us in the kitchen alone together.
"Baby girl, what's wrong?"
She looks down, fidgeting with her hands. "Rose called you, didn't she?"
I pull her to me, kissing her hair and holding her in my arms. "Yeah, she was worried, and by the looks of things she was right to worry. Do you want to talk to me about it?"
She shakes her head, but shows me a letter, she pulls from her pocket. "No, not really, but you can read the letter if you want…" She stops and takes a deep breath, then huffs it back out. "I mean, I want you to read it. I just… I can't… talk about it just now. I just want to make some more stuff," she says pulling back from our hug. She hands me the letter, before starting on some more recipes. I know by the way she keeps looking at me she would rather I read the letter somewhere else. I kiss her head, and walk into the living room.
"Is she okay?" Rose asks, jumping up as I come in.
"No," I tell her rubbing my face. "But, she gave me the letter she got. Could you go sit with her while I read it?"
She nods and moves toward the kitchen. "Grandpa and Martin should be here in about twenty minutes or so, they just called," she says holding up her cell phone.
I sit down taking deep breath before opening the letter. I look at the bottom first to see who it's from and I'm stunned to see that it's from Renee. I go back to the top and read the letter.
To Isabella Swan
I've got great news! They have deemed me healthy, and I'm now out of that place you sent me to. I knew I would get free of it someday; you can't beat me, as I have God on my side.
I am sending you this letter to tell you to stay away from my family. I know that you went to my mother's house, and I want the money she gave you; it's mine. I will keep them safe from you; you're nothing more than a demon child. Look at what happened to that nice man, you killed him. I feel sad for his poor family. It should have been you that died not him; you took another one of God's children by killing him. That's three now Isabella, you are going to rot in hell.
You still need proof that you are evil Isabella? Look at all the people you have hurt since moving to Forks. It was a nice place until you got there and planted the seeds of evil. All those children taking drugs and what about the young man I saw you with? Are you fucking him? Well, of course you are, that would be the only reason he would ever be with you. You're nothing but a plain ass, skinny, ugly, fucking spawn of all evil; a demon child. You stole him from that other girl, now she's good and beautiful and all alone. Unlike what you are, she is an angel. You are a demon, and now you are a whore demon.
Remember, Bella, everything you touch dies. This is your punishment from God. Does Father know that you killed his wife, does he? How do you think he is going to feel when he finds out that you killed her? He will hate you just like I do. As for that man who thinks she was his mother, too, well he is just like you another fucking demon. He helped you out with her; he made her weak so you were able to kill her. The two of you have killed many other people, too. You two should be together, two demons together forever. Since you're a demon whore, I am sure you could have him and his friend, too.
Well I have to go. I have people to see and things to do.
I will be seeing you really soon.
Renee Dwyer
I have to grip the arm of the couch, as I feel my anger rise up. Who in the fucking hell deemed her healthy? What kind of piece of shit, fuckhead doctor would do that? By the sounds of this letter, she's nowhere near being sane. I'm still breathing deep as Grandpa and Martin come in. I'm surprised that Martin hasn't gotten into trouble, with all the time he has taken off these past few months.
Bella comes out of the kitchen and greets them, telling them she's fine and I have the letter before going back in. I wait as they both read it. Grandpa sits down upset, as Martin calls the unit she was in to get more information from them.
"I don't know where I went wrong with Renee. I keep praying that she'll get help, and turn out a better person." I move over and sit next to Grandpa. "I don't want to give up if there's a chance that she will be normal. But at the same time, I am so pissed at her for doing this to Bella. It took Peter two years to break down some of her walls. Bella believed that she was bad, a demon, it's one of the main reasons she didn't let Jacob in her life. I thank God she didn't because, well, you know. I hope this doesn't set her back, with all that going on. I just can't watch her go back to thinking she is evil and that it's okay for people to hurt her."
Grandpa begins shaking I can clearly see how much he loves his daughter, but he also loves his granddaughter at the same time. I rub his back as Martin comes back in.
"She got out on the thirty-first; they're unsure why we weren't told. She's in a halfway house in Idaho. They said she wanted to come back here, but you had already refused. They said that since she was unable to come here because Bella was here, that she was not happy and thinks that's when she wrote the letter." Martin is clearly pissed off. I can see there isn't much love lost between him and Renee. "I have contacted the local police station, and they are going to keep an eye on her. I think we should keep an eye on the incoming mail." Martin comes over and sits next to us.
"Thank you, son, I spoke to her last week. She never said anything about her case being looked at. She did ask when she got out if she could move back in here. I thought that she was talking about eighteen month from now, when her case was due for review. I told her no! I would love to see her; however, she cannot come back here. This is not only Bella's home, but yours, too. She ended up screaming at me for ten minutes about how could I pick you two over her. I was already pissed at her, because she saw the news about Bella and she never once asked if she was okay. She asked about you, Edward, and then got pissed when I said that you were living here. I'm at a loss. I don't know how to help her anymore. Not that anything I ever did helped her," Grandpa says looking down as he speaks. I feel my heart break for him.
I know that he loves Bella and will protect her as he has always done. There were also things that happened between Renee and Martin. Where Charlie loves them both so much, Renee tried to make him choose between them; which is something Grandpa would not do. At the same time he knows that he has to keep Martin and Bella away from Renee. I know it hurts him, because she is clearly not right in the head.
We sit and talk about the best way to handle Renee being out. Martin calls Lilly and Ella, to let them know. To say that Lilly was not happy about this is an understatement. The fact that Renee was claiming to be her family, and using the family name enraged her. I must say I was surprised that she kept it in when she was on the phone.
Rose also found out about the contents of the letter, she talked to Bella about her dad. Telling Bella what he used to say to her to get her to do what he wanted, she also said a bit about her mom. I think this talk really helped Bella, too.
Rose told her that where it's completely clear that Renee is ill, Rose's father is just a power-hungry bastard. She muttered something about him becoming somebody's bitch, which made Bella laugh for the first time that day. I think that it helped that Rose could understand what she felt like, hearing something like that coming from a parent when they are supposed to love you.
By the end of the night, Bella had baked enough that Martin was able to take six different boxes of muffins and a cake with him. He claimed that the guys in the office love Bella's cooking.
Bella and I took some more cookies, muffins, and cupcakes to the children's home, and the homeless shelters. Even after all that we still had about ten boxes left at home. Fuck, I'm going have to work out more, or coach is going to kill me when we go back to school on Monday. Her muffins are so good.
7th of January 2011
The week slowly passed. Peter came by the day after Bella received the letter and talked to her about it. I can see now why Bella still sees him every week. Renee has sent Bella letters before, she even asked to see her three years ago, but when Bella went, Renee attacked her again. She slammed her hand in a door, which is how she got the weird scar on her inner wrist.
We are sitting outside having a picnic, as it's unusually warm and dry, when Liam, our new chief of police shows up.
"Bella, Edward, these are for you," he says handing us subpoenas. They are for Royce's court date, for what he did to Rose. The hearing is in four weeks time.
"Thanks," I say giving him a nod.
"Sorry to bring bad news. I know you had a bad few weeks," he says. I nod as he walks back to his car, and Bella sighs.
"I am going to give Rose a call. We knew that this was coming, but it still took me by surprise." She turns and looks at me. I pull her close and kiss her temple.
"Me, too, baby, me, too." I pick her up and carry her into the house, so she can call Rose.
A/N: the joke belongs to Dara O'Briain, but Nikky loves it. We will put the link at the bottom. We did change parts of it though to reflect the American side of the story. No harm, no foul to the fans of the original. I do urge the American readers to check out the link and see it the English way. Very amusingly funny!) watch?v=hyEy021HsFU it's in the first few minutes.
So what did you all think of Renee, she's a special kind of cray cray, isn't she? The letter from Edward's mother was just as touching, what do you all think of the situations?