Chapter 25 already, people! WOW! Much love to all of you who still read and love this story, who take their time to comment, review, and PM me. Also my special thanks to all of the guests who have commented. I'm sorry I can't answer you in a PM, but please know that your reviews are just as precious!

Okay, enough Amity pansy stuff! Read, enjoy, review, and see you on Wednesday! xoxox

Riley

I stare down at Darcy as her arms are wrapped around my neck, her smile sweet and her eyes watching me. She's so happy. I pull her close and kiss her. I feel so warm and pleasant. She speaks but I can't hear what she says. The sunlight all around is so bright and the dust particles in the air send fractures of light around us. She turns and pulls my hand to follow her through tall grass, she's wearing a light blue dress and when she turns her head to look back at me I feel nothing but content.

But then there's sharp pain that hits me like lightning and she's gone.

Darcy

I'm just getting Socks dried off and making a little bed of blankets in the corner when he starts howling for no reason. "Socks, stop. It's bed time." I mumble and scratch his head but he growls at me. What is wrong with him? He bolts away from me and runs into the living room where Melanie is sitting on the couch. She picks him up and looks at me.

"So are you still going to try and convince me that you and Riley aren't swapping spit?"

I sigh and sit down next to her and scratch Socks on the head, "Okay. We've swapped a lot of spit." I mumble.

"I knew it!" She squeals. "You need to tell me everything."

"Everything?" I cringe. I don't want to tell her everything.

"Every. Thing." She grins.

"I don't think you want to hear that."

"Have you guys been sleeping together?"

"We…" My voice gets all squeaky and I refuse to talk. I can tell I'm probably bright red thinking about Riley naked.

Melanie is just laughing.

"He's sweet." I mumble.

"Just sweet?" She smirks.

"No." I bite my lip and smile. "He's the only guy I've ever been with."

"So he popped your cherry, hm?"

"Ugh, Melanie!" I cover my face with my hands, if I blush any harder I'm gonna die. Just when I thought her laughter couldn't get any louder, it does.

After a while of talking Socks falls asleep in Melanie's lap so I carry him into the bedroom and put him on his nest of blankets near Riley's dresser. He's so cute. Melanie comes in and we climb into Riley's bed and stare at the ceiling and talk for a bit. I'm glad she's not mad at me anymore and that I don't have to sleep in the dorm tonight. I like Riley's apartment much better. It feels safer. I doze off but wake to Melanie shaking me gently.

"Darcy..." she whispers.

"Hm.."

"Wake up, Riley's in the hospital." She hisses, I look at her with her phone to her ear. I can hear Eric talking on the other end.

"What happened?"

"What happened, Eric?" She's quiet for a whole fucking minute. And I'm trying to be patient. She looks at me and I can tell she's trying to keep it together.

"Melanie." I snap. "What. Happened."

"He got ambushed." She whispers numbly. "Okay," She says into her phone, "Yeah, I'll see you soon."

"What does that mean–ambushed? What–how does that–How did he get ambushed?" I look around for my phone. "What happened?" I shake my head as I fiddle with my phone and find Riley's number. I call it but it goes straight to voicemail. My hands are shaking.

"Eric only said he got ambushed. He didn't say anything else."

"His phone is off or something." I whisper as I call again and get his voicemail. His gruff voice telling me to leave a message. I throw the blankets off and stand up, "Where–what hospital?"

"Erudite." Melanie says, "But Eric and Gunner are on their way back right now."

What the fuck does 'ambushed' mean? Is he okay? What the fuck? Why wouldn't Eric tell Melanie more? I sit back down on the bed and I don't know what to do. I feel helpless. I have no idea what is going on. Thirty minutes later I hear the front door being unlocked. Melanie and I walk slowly into the living room and I see Gunner walk through with Eric behind him; Eric has blood up to his elbows and I don't think any of it is his. Melanie tuns to them, passing Gunner and throws her arms around Eric, and cries into his shirt.

"I'm fine." Gunner says, "In case you were worried."

"Gunner, is Riley okay?" I ask numbly.

"Some factionless ganged up on him. About five or six of 'em. He was stabbed a couple times. He lost a lot of blood." He glances at Eric, "They resuscitated him once and got him stabilized." He says. "His jaw was broken and when the guy stabbed him I guess this got in the way… probably saved his guts."

Gunner holds something up and I see my lighter. "I'm guessing it belongs to you." I take it with trembling fingers and turn it over. There's blood on it and a nasty gouge in the metal. An evil intention.

They had to resuscitate him. Which means he died. I feel sick. I turn slowly, I need to sit down. My hand touches the wall and I try to gradually lower myself to the floor. But I think I fall. I'm not sure. And I don't know who carries me to the bed. I haven't blacked out, but my body doesn't seem to know what to do so I'm still. I feel Socks snuggle up next to me.

After a few days they transfer Riley to the intensive care wing in the Infirmary at Dauntless.

I stand in the hall staring in through the window. The curtain is pulled so I can't see Riley but his boots are on the floor at the foot of his bed. I overheard one of the nurses talking to Max saying that he could've drowned in his own blood but Eric prevented it.

"What are you doing here?" I look over. Speak of the devil. Eric has his arms folded and stares at me as if he's waiting for me to have a meltdown, "You should be training."

I look back through the window, "Four has given us all the day off." I mumble.

"Do you want to go in and see him?"

"No." I say quickly. "I… can't. I need to go get Socks and take him for a walk." The words feel numb coming from my lips. Honestly… all of me has felt numb for days now. I clear my throat and glance at Eric before stepping away from the window and turning to go. Eric grabs my arm gently and I look up at him.

"I think he'd like to see you." He says quietly.

"He knows what I look like." What an asshole thing to say. Eric's brow furrows as I pull my arm from his grip and walk away. It's not that I'm afraid I'll cry in front of Riley because I know I won't. In fact I haven't cried at all and it's worrying me because shouldn't I cry about this? I've cried over lesser things. Kill a dog in a movie and I'll soak the carpet with tears. Almost kill my… Riley… and I.. what, nothing. I realize I'm trying to force it by thinking about the worst thoughts.

About Gunner explaining the sight of Riley lying in the alleyway. I think about Eric covered in his blood. I even pull my lighter out of my pocket and rub my thumb over the scarred metal. Fucking cry. Cry! Nothing.

Four has left me alone for the past few days thank god. I walk to Riley's apartment and get Socks to take him for his walk. The whole compound is in some sort of weird funk with Riley down. I see a lot of people heading toward the infirmary to visit him. I'm probably a shitty person for not going in to see him but I really don't know how to handle those kinds of situations. There was a day a few years ago that one of Danielle's friends got killed in some weird accident doing god knows what and Danielle was really torn up about it but I didn't know how to comfort her or what to say. Not that she wanted me to comfort her anyway.

Thinking about Riley being resuscitated makes my chest hurt. I've seen those cheesy romance movies where one of the characters gets hurt and the other person is there for them and just twisted up about whatever caused the hurt. It's a classic obstacle in any romance story but honestly this isn't that. He died and I think that's where I'm stuck. I can't wrap my head around the fact that he's still alive. Or… he was brought back to life.

Socks barks at me and licks my hands as I try to get the leash on him. I tried to take him to see Riley last night but I got stuck at the window again. Staring at his boots. There's blood on his boots. I stare at the wall as Socks' tail whips my leg. I try to summon any tears waiting. "Fuck." I blink and look down at the dog. "Maybe later, right?" He only lets his tongue hang out in reply.

Riley

"Hey, buddy." I hear Eric and I open my eyes to look at him standing at the end of the cot.

"mm.." Is all I can give him. My mouth is wired shut tight and I feel like I got hit by a train.

"You look like shit." He smiles. "I can't believe they had to shave your face."

I roll my eyes. Don't fucking remind me.

"Your girlfriend was just here. But she didn't want to come inside." He says. I lift my eyebrows in question. He shrugs, "I don't know. I think she's afraid of crying in front of you."

I would love to see Darcy right now. I clear my throat and try to talk but it hurts. I need water. Eric steps over and pours some into a cup. He helps me take a sip and I fall back on the pillow with a groan. Jesus fucking shit. What the fuck happened? I lift the blanket.

"You got stabbed a few times." Eric says with a tone of boredom. "But that's not the best part. You obviously know now that your jaw is broken. God, you looked horrible in that alley." He laughs lightly but I can tell he's masking something. He clears his throat and looks back to me. "Don't you ever fucking do that again. I can't be saving your ass all the time." He smiles. I laugh and then immediately regret it. He's one to talk about saving asses. "You should rest." He says, "Melody said she is going to come by later."

I nod weakly and watch him leave. The pain becomes near unbearable and even though I vehemently shake my head the nurses still administer the pain meds through an IV which fucking hit me like a ton of bricks and before I can even groan I fall asleep.

I dream about Darcy. She's all I fucking dream about. I'm tired of dreaming about her. I want to feel her. See her for real.

I feel fingers comb through my hair, bringing me back to the surface and I try to open my eyes, they feel heavy. I blink slowly and see Melody standing at my side looking down at me with that motherly thing she does. "Hey there." She smiles and I nod gently. I can't do much more than that.

"You doing okay?" She asks. I nod. "Eric said that Darcy came by but she didn't come in."

She won't come in. I look around and find a pen and paper on the side table. I write and then hand it to Melody.

"Will I talk to her?" She says. "I could if you want, sweetie." She smiles. "So does this mean you two are…?" She tilts her head and I shrug and nod. "Okay." She hands me the notepad back and I write again and hand it to her again, "I'll let her know." She smiles softly and it reminds me of my mother. Melody can be the softest person in the world.

Darcy

I let Socks off the leash so he can go fucking nuts. He loves being outside and I laugh a little when he chases the pigeons. I wish Riley could see this. My smile falls slightly when I think of him. I should really go see him. I have been staying at his apartment, direct orders from Riley for me to take care of his dog. Our dog. Sleeping in his bed without him is becoming more and more difficult every night and I've found myself at the window a couple times staring in at the curtain that conceals him.

I whistle and Socks comes back to me with a stick in his mouth, he's growling about it. He does this with his Riley shirt. He likes to tell me about his toys.

"That's a cute dog."

I stand straight with a chill in the core of my spine and look over my shoulder at Four. "Thanks.." I mumble.

"So it's yours?"

"Uh.. no." I look down at Socks, he growls at Four and I trust his instinct. "He's Riley's."

"Really?" Four looks around as he steps closer. "I didn't know Riley even liked animals."

"He loves animals." I say holding my chin up a little.

"You know him that well, hm?" Four raises an eyebrow. Shit.

"No. Not really." My eyes wander away from Four but come back when he takes another step toward me. I bend down and pick up Socks, he doesn't break his growl at Four.

"That's funny." He says. That's it. What's funny you stupid fuck? He's baiting me.

I sigh, "What's funny…" I roll my eyes.

"Nothing." He smiles and reaches forward to pet Socks but Socks nips at him and Four pulls his hand away. "Keep him on a leash. Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him." Four says and I don't like the way he says it because it reminds me of standing in the dorm with him that day. I watch Four as I step around him and carry Socks back inside.

I decide I'll just eat in the apartment. As I come out of the stairwell I see Melody standing in front of Riley's door and I almost turn back around. But she sees me and waves. I try to smile. I'm not sure it's convincing.

"How are you doing, honey?" She asks as I get to the door. She's holding a small bag.

"I'm okay. Melanie is in the cafeteria and so is Eric."

"I came to see you." She smiles and follows me into the apartment. Fuck. I'm in trouble for something.

"Did I.. Have I don't something wrong?" I try to swallow but my throat has gone dry. I set Socks down and look back at Melody.

"What? No." She laughs. She and Melanie have the same warm laugh. It soothes my nerves only a little. I stay quiet because I don't know what to do or say. Her copper eyes hold me in place, "I went to see Riley."

"Oh." Oh god. Does she know? She must.

"You haven't been to see him."

"Should I?" I say carefully. She tilts her head and raises her eyebrow and she looks just like Melanie and it's a little scary. I sigh. "I… I really don't know what to say." I surrender any perjuries because I know Melody can see right through me.

"Why haven't you been to see him?" She sits at the breakfast bar and sets that bag on the counter.

"Because I don't know how I'm supposed to react." I say.

"I don't think there's a right or wrong way to react with this, sweetheart" She says softly, I feel comfortable enough to walk into the kitchen. She turns on the stool and watches me.

"I'll visit him." I say hollowly. Will I?

"He wants to see you. Actually, you're the only person he wants to see." She sighs. "I think it would do him some good if you did go and visit."

I stare into the fridge forgetting what I'm looking for. I reach in blindly and pull out a soda.

"Look it's your decision whether or not you go to see him. But I'm just letting you know he told me–well wrote it down, that he wants to see you. And that he loves you." My jaw clenches at her last words and I stifle the painful shriek that dies in my lungs. I clear my throat.

"Okay." I say.

"Okay. I'm going to get home and feed my family. You let me know if you need anything, alright?"

"Yes, ma'am." I watch her let herself out and I turn back to see Socks sitting exactly where I left him. Even he didn't dare move. The apartment feels incredibly empty now. I take the bag off the counter and look into it, it's Riley's stuff. Wallet, phone, keys, cigarettes. I set the bag on the night stand and walk back into the kitchen.

I feed myself…barely. I shower… barely. I crawl into Riley's bed and watch Socks make himself comfortable in his own little blanket nest. Riley's pillow has a v-shaped dent from my arm. I miss him. I look over at that bag again and I reach into it pulling his pack of cigarettes out, opening them and touching my fingertips to the white sticks. They smell like him. I grab his phone and brush my thumb across the cracked screen. It wasn't like this when he left. I reach over and plug it in. The screen lights up and a few seconds later I unlock it only to see my own face. The picture I sent him. He dropped his phone. It dawns on me. He was looking at my picture when it happened.

I settle deep in the blankets and pull his pillow over my head like I have every night. I fall asleep holding his pack of cigarettes in one hand and his phone in the other.

I'm not sure what I dream about but when I become lucid I'm already half way down the stairwell. I almost trip and I grab the railing. I'm in my pajama shorts and tank, my feet are cold on the concrete steps. And I don't realize until I'm full on sprinting down another hallway going toward the infirmary that I'm crying.

I get to his room and pull the heavy door open and then I'm standing at the end of his cot. He's asleep. My body doesn't really give my mind a chance to talk myself out of this. I'm already crawling onto the bed with him. Still crying. I feel him inhale deeply as I bury my face against his neck and his arms wrap around me.