Chapter 25:

Time-off

"What is the meaning of this shit, Benson?" Sam asked Freddie again. Her voice sound so venomous that she knows that she can't stop it. What the hell? He's been planning all this shit all along? Does it mean that everything, everytime they shared is planned? Is she being played again? Damn! She must've have been so foolish that she didn't see this coming. Of course, she left Freddie in Seattle when he was begging her to stay. She even saw him punch a wall at the mall and cried like he never cares if people will think his a crazy person. And now, all the gestures, the sweet nothings he called her, the… oh my God. Their love making was very important and it means something to her. For her, it rekindled some spark between them and she don't know what got into her but the kiss him and Carly shared seems that it doesn't matter to her anymore, but this is reality. She can't live in fantasy forever, but she needs to hear it right into his mouth. Call her a masochist but she really needs to hear it.

"Answer me!" She screamed.

"Sam," Freddie called out her name. She can tell that he is very uncomfortable. Oh, God. It's true. "W-what you're thinking right now is wrong. I never meant to do this, I was-"

"Just answer my damn question, asshole! What is the meaning of this shit?!" Sam slammed the paper in the counter. "You fucking planned all of this?!"

"Sam, I-"

"Just answer 'yes' or 'no', Benson." Sam glared at Freddie. She is not fond of eye contact but she needs to in order to know if he's guilty or not.

Freddie hesitated to answer first. He reached out to hold her hand but she swatted it away, "It's… It's true."

A pang of hurt hit Sam's chest and she backed away a little. She prepared herself for his answer but she didn't know that it'll hurt THAT much. Before she knew it, tears were running down her eyes. She can't stop it. It's too much for her to handle.

"But hear me, Sam. I only did that because I love you. This is not a plan to get back to you. It's not revenge, Sam. Please… Believe me." Freddie pleaded. He was on the verge of kneeling in front of her when Sam stopped it.

"Don't kneel. Be happy! C'mon!" Sam laughed bitterly and frowned, "You got what you wanted, right?"

"Sam, I told you this is not revenge! I only did that because I love-"

"You love me? You love me?!" Sam's voice grew louder and louder as she walked towards Freddie. "You know if you really loved me you could've said it right after we were okay! But no! And you're pleading that I should believe you?! Freddie, I gave myself completely to you because I thought I can trust you again with my fucking heart! I gave it to you with no questions asked! And this is how you repay me? I may be really tough, but… I also have feelings. I have a heart that can be easily broken." Her voice grew soft and she her gaze fell on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Sam. But you have got to believe me!" Freddie hugged her tightly. No. He's not going to let her go now that he found her and she just confessed that she still loves him. "Sam, please. Believe me! I didn't do it for revenge; I did it because I love you. You hear me? I love you that it breaks my heart everytime I remember that stupid mistake I did to you many years ago! But I'm here. I'm here right now to fix things. Make things between us okay again, because I love you."

Sam can't take it anymore and she cried on Freddie's chest. She loves him that she can't even punch or hurt him. God how she wanted to but she can't because she won't stop crying and her arms are too weak to punch. Instead, she slapped Freddie on the chest. She don't care if she hurts him or not, but she needs to lash out her anger.

"I hate you! I hate you, because despite of what you did to me, I still can't stop loving the shit out of you!"

Freddie caressed Sam's hair. He kissed her hair and hugged her more tightly. "I know, I know."

Sam felt that her knees were becoming weak and she fell down, Freddie followed shortly after. They stayed in that position for seems like an eternity. Sam's mind was telling her to get off from Freddie's grasp and get the hell out of there but nevertheless, her heart told her to stay and forgive him. Believe what he said to her and love him, but the sad thing is, she can't do that. She was to sad and emotionally hurt that she can't follow what her heart says right now. So she decided what she's going to do. She wiped her tears and pushed Freddie gently who looked at her with a confused expression.

"Sam? What's wrong?" Freddie asked her as he followed her when she stood up.

"I'm… I'm sorry, Freddie but I can't deal with this right now. I need some space in order to sort this entire out."

"You want to stay in your apartment for awhile? I promise I won't bother you."

Sam sadly smiled at him and shook her head. "No, I need some time alone. Since you promise you won't bother me, I'll go somewhere around L.A. for awhile and stay there until my minds clear. I am counting on you to keep your promise that you'll leave me alone and I'll give you my word that once I'm okay, I'll go back here and have a talk with you."

"I-I'm not sure with this… but if that's what you want, who am I to pull you from what you want?"

"Thanks, nub." Sam walked towards the door and stopped on her tracks before opening it. "Just so you know, we're still not okay. Believe me that I'm handling these things in my most mature way and damn, if I had my own way, I would beat the shit out of you. Bye. See you whenever."

Freddie waved at Sam. He remembered something but he hesitated if that was the most right thing to do right now, given the fact that they had just a fight not too long ago. But whatever, you only live once. "Sam, wait!" When Freddie saw Sam look back at him, he advanced towards her and kissed her in the lips. She will be gone for a long time, he knows. That's why he's making this kiss meaningful. Who knows? It might change Sam's decision.

When they both pulled off, Freddie saw Sam still closing her eyes and when she fluttered them open, she blushed when she saw he was ogling at her.

"Well, bye then." Sam said quickly and went off to her apartment.

Freddie sighed when he closed the door. Where will she go?

Sam packed closed up her duffel bag. She tied her hair into a messy ponytail and put on some powder on her face. God, their fight was very unusual. She was expecting more of her verbally abusing Freddie but it turns out to be milder than she thought it would be.

The best place to talk about what happen is supposed to be Carly's cozy bed and a pint of vanilla ice cream but Carly's in Italy and the both of them are not in good terms right now so Cat's place would be like a haven for her right now.

She rang Cat's number and she answered a few rings after.

"Hey, Cat. Can I crash there?"

"SAM! Yeah, sure. You can go here!"

Well, it's time to go and forget about all her fucking problems for awhile. This'll be interesting.

HEY! I'm so sorry for this very short chapter. I know I promised that I'll make longer chapters but I have writer's block right now…

Anyways, THANK YOU for all those amazing reviews and for answering my question who Paul Glaser is.

Thank you, especially for iShineS3 for you review. It made me smile right after I woke up because I checked the reviews earlier this morning…

Please keep `em coming ;)