Sorry this is so late. Yesterday was...well, lets just say I'm resorting to something I NEVER thought I would to make money. The electric company can be nice sometimes when you cry as the guy is outside turning off your power :)

I keep chanting 'Everyone is healthy'...but sometimes even that doesn't work.

Enjoy this little piece of fun :)

EPOV

"Oh yes."

I rolled over and covered my head with my pillow to try and muffle Bella's sleep moans.

"That's it, baby."

The down feathers weren't blocking her husky exclamations.

"Yes! Right there!"

I threw the pillow to the floor and rolled over to face my sex-dreaming wife. She was ready to give birth any day now and her libido was off the charts. She was a sex-crazed maniac and my poor cock was sore from all the attention she was demanding.

"Fuck me," she panted as she writhed on the mattress. Her legs were tangled in the sheets and her nightgown had ridden up so her entire belly was on display.

I looked down at my poor dick, hiding beneath the warm, soft cotton of my boxer briefs. There was no way in hell he would rise to the occasion again. I sighed as I realized I was going to have to take her satisfaction into my own hands, literally.

Sliding closer through the wrinkled sheets, I moved my hand down so my fingers could reach beneath her nightgown. It was actually one of my old shirts she was wearing, but she liked to call it a nightgown because it made her feel classier. I didn't get it. Who gave a shit what you wore to bed?

I tried not to cringe as my fingers encountered the stubbly hair on her legs. She said it was too hard to shave anymore. I offered to do it, but she just started to cry and said I didn't love her anymore. If I didn't love her so much, I would have killed her months ago.

Her first day at work after Jamie's arrest and her big pregnancy reveal was a disaster. She ended up puking all over the cab of her rig and then cried for an hour straight. Needless to say, her cover was sufficiently blown. Alec explained the situation to the rest of the crew and they were all pretty supportive. None of them had suspected that Bella was a girl. They all just thought we were gay. Even though she bitched and moaned, I refused to let her back in the rig. Her hormones were all over the place and I couldn't have her pulling off the trail to hurl in the bushes every five minutes.

"But Edward," she whined as she plopped her ass down behind my desk. I leaned forward, punching my fists into the hard wood surface.

"No. I refuse to have you putting yourself and our child in danger. You can still do your job in here. Or you can look into some online classes. But you are not going to drive that big rig, do you understand?" She gave me the cold shoulder for two weeks after that little argument, but thankfully she did start an online literature class and got busy decorating our new house. I was a bit surprised when she didn't give me a hard time about our new house, but once she saw the room that would be the nursery, with its big bay window and awesome nook for the crib, it was all good.

Now, six months later, I'm glad our life has all come together, but I'm just ready to get Bella off so I can go back to sleep.

BPOV

I was in the middle of a fabulous dream. Edward was an octopus…or he had eight arms…or something equally freaky, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was his fingers were right where I needed them. I was horny all the time and it didn't take much to get my motor running.

Edward drinking.

Edward looking at me.

Edward breathing.

I swear, he had a direct line to my pussy and he didn't even know it. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that I was head over heels in love with him, but still. After we were married in a sweet little ceremony in his parent's back yard, I expected us to have less sex. But that wasn't the case.

"Fuck," I moaned, my eyes darting beneath my closed lids as my dream Edward slid his fingers into my pussy. I was so damn wet.

"Bella, I want you to come on my fingers," Edward ordered, his voice low and tense in my ear. I gave in to his command, my body exploding as I came in a great wave. My belly tightened…painfully.

"Ow!" I cried, the agony jolting me out of sleep. I sat up, clutching my belly and realized Edward's fingers were still inside me. Guess it wasn't a dream.

"What's wrong? Oh God, did I poke the baby?" he asked, frantically removing his fingers. I felt a gush and looked down at the mattress beneath me.

"My water broke," I rasped, looking up at him with frightened eyes. He stared down at the fluid that oozed from me, unmoving.

"Holy shit," he whispered.

"We need to do something," I said, my voice trembling as yet another pain made me gasp. "Shit, something's happening!"

I lifted the hem of my shirt and looked down…well, as far down as I could over my big belly.

"I think its coming!" I squealed, reaching down with shaking fingers. Yep, there was definitely something coming out of me.

"What do we do?" Edward yelped, jumping off the bed and scrambling over to my side. He knelt down next to me, his eyes wide.

"I don't think we have time to get to the hospital. I guess all that indigestion I had all day was really labor. God, I'm clueless," I whined, wincing as the pain radiated across my belly and down my back. "You're going to have to deliver the baby."

"What?" he screeched, sounding like a bird. I rolled my eyes as I shifted to my side. I vaguely remembered reading some book about it being easier to give birth on your hands and knees. At that point, I would have rented a hot air balloon if it made squeezing this kid out of my pussy easier.

"Just come over here and catch it!" I yelled, attempting to breathe through the pain. It felt like my taint was exploding as I pushed.

"Oh, I may never want to touch you again," Edward whispered quietly, probably not meaning for me to hear.

"You're acting like I'd want you to come near me ever again! You did this!" I yelped, biting my knuckle as I buried my face in the mattress. Edward was doing something behind me, but I couldn't concentrate on anything but the pain. Somehow I knew that once I pushed the baby out, the pain would ease, so that was my main goal.

"Good job, baby. I've almost got him," Edward said, his voice suddenly calm and serious. I was kinda glad we were able to experience this amazing event together…

"HOLY SHIT!"

As I pushed our child out, my vision wavered. I grunted and cried, telling God and whoever would listen that I would never curse or lie again if they just got this kid out of me.

"It's a girl!" Edward cried. I looked over my shoulder and watched as he snuggled a squirming, blood covered little being against his chest. He tipped his face up, tears making his eyes bright as he smiled at me.

"You did it, baby," he said. I rolled over to my side, being careful of the umbilical cord that was still attached. I knew we needed to go to the hospital to be checked out, but as I watched Edward coo over our sweet little baby, I figured it could wait.

I've never pushed a kid out of my taint. Mine have all been removed from me (Although I really wanted to try to push one out) so I apologize if that is not very realistic.

There is one more chapter and I am hoping to get it to you on Friday.

Love you!