Dean hesitated outside the door of JayJay's hospital room in Quinhagak. Laughter and lightheartedness reverberated through the heavy wood of the door, and he almost turned back.

Maybe he couldn't do this.

But he thought of Sam then, and of how much his brother had liked the young crab boat captain. He remembered that they'd treated Sam well - given him a chance to prove himself. And he realized he needed this.

He took a deep breath and opened the door.

The room was so packed with people, it took a few moments for anyone to even realize he was there. He stood silently studying the young guy in the bed. This would be JayJay, and around the room, Dean thought he recognized the rest of the crew. Of course there were also friends and girlfriends and wives and even a few kids sprinkled in for good measure, and suddenly Dean was tongue-tied, feeling out-of-place in this room where people were celebrating life.

JayJay noticed him first. The young man smiled. "I am guessing you are not here to take my blood pressure."

Dean tried to smile, or for what passed as a smile these days. "No, I guess not."

"You are looking for someone." It was spoken as a statement and not a question.

Dean cleared his throat, "I'm Dean. Dean Hetfield."

The room fell silent as a look of unspeakable pain passed over the captain's face. "Sam's Dean."

"Yeah. Sam is … was … my kid brother." He stepped aside as people began filtering from the room until only the five members of the crew were left. JayJay and Mike were the only ones who could look at him. The silence grew awkward.

Dean cleared his throat again, "I … Sammy sent emails. You gave him a chance. You treated him good. He told me. I, uh, wanted to say thanks … you know. For that." His voice hitched.

JayJay's smile had gone away. "Come." He gestured to the seat beside the bed. "Sit. I am honored to meet the brother of Sam Hetfield."

Dean moved forward and sat.

"How are you?" JayJay asked. "Sam worried over you every hour."

Dean blinked at that. "Fine. I'm good. I have Sam to thank for that, I guess."

Mike cleared his throat. "Sammy, he was a fine greenhorn. The best I ever worked with." His voice broke.

Dean swallowed, looking down. He could do this. He could get through this. "I, uh, I just wanted to ask … " He stopped, his voice shaking.

"I have Sam's money."

Dean looked up startled, "What?"

"The crab. They should have all been dead. Somehow, they were not. Sam's earnings. I have them for you."

"Oh. No. That's not what I … "

"It is okay. He would want me to make sure his brother received his share. I can …"

"Look, I don't give a shit about the money, okay?" Dean barked.

Awkward silence again.

Dean sighed. "At the … at the end, I mean. Sammy … was he scared? Was he hurt? Did he ... did he ask for me?" He stared pleadingly at JayJay. "Please? I have to know?"

JayJay's face relaxed. "I see where Sam learned his caring ways. You ask about your brother's welfare, and I will tell you honestly. The last time I saw Sam, he was smiling. Energized. He had just called in the mayday and returned to the deck to help with the launching of the inflatable."

"And what a joke that was." Lars chimed in dejectedly.

JayJay agreed. "The winds - they were not amenable to launching an inflatable life raft. The sea goddess was very angry that night."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "What do you know about the sea goddess?"

"I know that she saved Sam's life our second day out. Sam saved Mike's life. Sedna saved Sam."

"Saved him?"

"My men," JayJay gestured to his crew with a smile. "They do not believe me when I tell the old stories, but she was there. I saw her. Sam saw her. She lifted him up so he could grab the railing with both hands. She calmed the sea so Whitey and Lars could pull him in. She saved him."

Dean stared, "Why would she do that?"

"Your brother was a man by heart. But he was still a child by years - only sixteen, he told us. The goddess - she looks after the children. Especially, she looks after children whose fathers are not fathers."

Dean snorted. Well, that was one she had right. But then he wondered.

"So, if she saved him once …" His eyes suddenly brightened with hope, and he stood up.

JayJay looked startled.

"Dean." Mike stood up. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't hold onto false hope. Skip's stories are … well ..." He glanced at JayJay apologetically. "Just … Sammy's gone, Dean. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. But he's gone."

Dean blinked. He nodded. "I just came here to say thanks. Sam … he liked working with all of you. Thank you." He stepped outside and headed for the exit.

###

Outside, Dean took a deep breath to steady himself.

She had saved Sam - saved him at least once. She wasn't angry with him. Wasn't trying to hurt him. He had jumped overboard to try and calm her, of that much Dean was certain. He glanced at his phone. He still had about 40 minutes before he had to meet Bobby for lunch.

He headed for the small, rocky beach that lay five minutes from the hospital.

For the first time in days, Dean felt hopeful.