A/N: I don't own the wrestlers! I do own Pixie, Annabelle and Ginger. Miz Mallows and Teh D belong to Darkest-Hearts. HB and Jack belong to PowerPeguin, who is not on here (yet). As always, it's meant in fun.

The Mizard Of Odd

Chapter 25: Miz Establishes A Hierarchy

"You hate your glasses," Punk said.

"That doesn't mean I don't need them," Christian said.

"Maybe we can get them fixed?" Miz said.

"That will take forever," Christian said. "I mean, okay, maybe if we go to a mall and find one of those one hour places… but do you really want to take this lot to a mall?"

Miz stared at the chaos, then shook his head slowly. Already the restaurant manager was making his way toward them, clearly intending to throw the band and the wrestlers out. "No, you're right. Plus those places aren't cheap. I guess you'll just have to do without for a while. Once we've got this resolved, we'll replace them."

"Maybe I should get contacts."

"Then you'd look like Edge, with huge bulgy eyes," Punk said.

"You know," Miz said, turning to Punk, "that's pretty cruel. Are you sure you're Jesus?"

Punk said, "Yes, I'm sure. I'm just being honest. Like you don't think his eyes are weird and bulgy. He looks like one of those scary goldfish that can't get the food off the bottom of the tank. I wouldn't be surprised if he was an alien and his eyes were actually on eyestalks. That would make perfect sense." He turned to Christian. "Anyway, contacts are probably out."

The manager finally managed to get past Orton, who was howling in rage and trying to bite one of the waiters. Miz took a deep breath and smiled at the manager, who was puffed up as though to start yelling. "We're going," he said, in his most pleasant voice, in hopes that he could keep the man from making Orton's frenzy worse with raised voices.

The manager paused and stared at Miz. "Okay. I don't want to have to call the cops, but I will."

"Randy," Miz said, "leave the poor waiter alone."

Randy turned to look at Miz. "But…"

"Randy," Miz sighed, and the Viper pouted. "We need to get our group outside."

"I'll do it!" said Mark. "I'm a traffic cop!"

"Finally, he's something useful," Punk said to Miz.

Mark herded the band members and the wrestlers through the door of the restaurant. "He could have been a sheepdog," Miz agreed, "so long as it was one with herding skills."

"I like dogs!" Matt said, as he was herded out the door with the others.

They headed back to the tour bus. "We should do this more often," Annabelle said to Christian.

"We just got kicked out of a Denny's," Christian said.

"Yeah, but we didn't have to pay," Annabelle said with a smirk. "I'm sure they'll bill us or something."

"Are you kidding?" HB said. "I heard the manager say 'Good riddance' when Mark was herding us out. I bet he thinks that meal was a small price to pay to get all the crazy people out of his restaurant."

"I don't know if I've ever been kicked out of a restaurant," said Punk thoughtfully. "Movie theaters, yes. Restaurants? Not that I can recall."

"It happens to us all the time," Jack said. "But it doesn't matter. Back on the bus!" The band got on the bus, and the wrestlers followed, though Miz grabbed Randy's arm and held him back.

"No more biting people, unless you ask me first," Miz said.

"What if you aren't there to ask?" Randy asked.

"Then ask Punk."

"What if Punk is the one I want to bite?"

Miz frowned. "Then ask Christian."

"Can't I just ask Christian anyway? He's more likely to let me bite someone than Punk is."

"I don't want you to draw attention to us, Randy," Miz said. "We're being sneaky, remember."

"All right," said Randy with a sigh. "I will try to remember to ask you first. But if you're asleep and I can't find Christian or Punk, then I'm going to bite someone."

"I guess that will have to be good enough," Miz agreed. "Fine."

"Can I bite someone when we're on the bus?" Randy asked.

"No. I think you've hit your biting quota for the day."

"If I go to sleep on the bus, can I bite someone when I wake up?"

Miz sighed. "Maybe. Although if you keep asking me questions like that, the person you bite may have to be yourself."

Randy looked thoughtful. "That's not as much fun as it sounds."

"It sounds fun?"

"Sometimes," said Randy with a shrug.

"You know, Orton," Miz said, "just when I think I've hit the bottom of the weirdness barrel, you say something like that."

"You're welcome," Orton said. "But can we get on the bus now? I need to get some sleep so I'll be ready to bite again as soon as possible."

"By all means," Miz said, releasing Randy's arm and letting the Viper get onto the bus. Miz hesitated a moment longer, his eyes on the restaurant, so he saw the manager shake his fist at the tour bus. "Terrific," he muttered.

"Hey, come on, Miz," Teh D said, bounding down the steps. "Ginger's awake and she's in a foul mood. You can help me poke her with sticks."

"Wouldn't that require sticks?"

Teh D grinned. "Yep. That's why I grabbed some from that pointy stick pile over there." She pointed to a very thorny shrub. "This is going to be so awesome. Ginger doesn't stand a chance this time!"

"You'd better do as she says," Pixie said, from the top step. The cat yawned, then looked at Miz. "She seems perfectly willing to poke you with a stick if you don't."

"Oh, well," Miz said, blinking. "In that case, it sounds fun. Count me in."