A/N: You asked for more of Sasuke's angstlicious back story... well here it is!
Warnings: Some darker themes, but nothing too disturbing
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto D:
The drive to Sasuke's loft was made in silence, save the music that quietly emanated from the car speakers. Naruto leaned back in his seat as he watched the buildings become taller and more sleek. He never really spent much time downtown, the high rises and dense spaces were too claustrophobic for him. He watched idly as streetlights whizzed by and felt as the engine revved and settled each time Sasuke shifted gears.
They pulled into the underground parking structure and stopped near the entrance. The pale boy offered Naruto a small smile before leaving the car, the blond heaved a sigh and opened the door. As he moved to get a out he saw a hand extended to him, Naruto took it and held tightly as he was hoisted out of the car.
The walk through the cold night was short and before Naruto really had a chance to get his bearings on the street, he was inside the lobby. It was another short wait for the elevator and the subsequent ride up to the top floor – all done in silence.
Sasuke gestured for Naruto to have a seat on the couch while he went to the kitchen for a bottle of water. Naruto looked around the room; it was cool, not cold necessarily, modern and opulent – it suited Sasuke well. The blond's gaze lingered on the drum set across the room and unpleasant memories began to replay in his mind, but he pushed them back in favor of moving forward. The raven-haired boy stood in the kitchen for a moment, watching Naruto and thinking about what he was about to reveal. He thought about what Sakura had said – that he needed to be strong to save this relationship, the irony was not lost on him.
He returned to Naruto and took a seat next to him on the couch; folding one leg up and leaving the other to hang off the cushion, he turned to the blond. Naruto's eyes were still fixed on a single point and Sasuke followed the gaze to find it terminate on the bass drum. He frowned, wondering what Naruto might be thinking, but he shook the thought and cleared his throat to garner the blond's attention.
"I want to share something with you Naruto, but in order to put it in context there are some things you need to know about my family," the pale boy said, his eyes slowly drifting over to meet Naruto's.
The blond looked back with some confusion, "okay."
Sasuke sighed deeply, his expression weighed down with dread, "only a handful of people know what I am about to tell you, but nothing will make sense without it."
"Go ahead," Naruto responded softly.
"My parents were killed...by my brother," he paused and waited for a response, Naruto was clearly shocked but did not interrupt, "Itachi was...disturbed. My parents knew this, but they did nothing about it – I think they thought it was a phase or a cry for attention, or maybe they just didn't care. Even though I was young, I knew he wasn't right. He spent so much time by himself, secluded in his room. A couple times I went to see him and he would just be laying on the floor, staring and unresponsive."
Sasuke paused as if he was considering how to proceed, "One time I crept into his room and he was on the floor, like normal...except he was naked, holding a sharpened letter opener. I watched he cut himself... I remember the way he shuddered when his skin broke – like every slice was a caressing touch. I stood there until I couldn't watch anymore and finally left.
"I had no idea what to make of this, I went to my mom but I didn't know the right words. I told her that Itachi was sad and alone and she said not to worry, that he would get better. But he didn't get better, I mean, how could he? My parents did nothing, fucking nothing to help him," there was pain evident in his voice, despite how much he tried to hide it. Long forgotten – repressed – emotions were welling up inside him.
"I was getting ready for school one day and Itachi came out of his room. He knelt down to me, looked me in the eye and told me to be strong... to get stronger and he kissed me," Sasuke paused and touched his forehead with the memory, "I was picked up for school that morning and my parents and brother were left alone together for the last time," onyx eyes hardened, becoming even colder than Naruto would have ever thought possible, "they were stabbed; my father first and then my mother. Itachi slit his wrists and bled out in his room.
"Itachi left a note in which he explained his actions," Sasuke blinked and his eyes softened when they returned to the azure orbs that were trained on him, "he said this was not an act of anger or hate, he was not on drugs – this was a decision he made with a clear mind. He was freeing our parents and himself from the shells of humans they had become – those were the words he used – shells. Itachi believed that any indication of happiness was only superficial – inside they were empty, hollow – like him. He wanted to give me a chance, an opportunity to live a real life, to not become like them. Itachi killed my parents and himselffor me."
There was a long silence, Naruto reached out and put his hand over Sasuke's. It was a small gesture, but in the moment it meant everything to the raven-haired boy. Sasuke stared down at his overlapped hand and smiled inwardly. Any reservations he may have held dissipated and he returned his gaze to Naruto's.
"I told you that, to tell you this," his eyes were still intensely dark, "what I said about Orochimaru is true, but its only half the reason why I act like I do. He said caring about people would distract me, but that never really bothered me since I wasn't driven to success like he was. Orochimaru also told me that caring for people made me weak and that scared the hell out of me.
"The last words Itachi ever spoke to me were about strength, about how I need to be strong in order to survive. I need to be strong so I don't succumb to the same hollowing illness of so many family members," there was a pause and Sasuke sighed as if ashamed, "you see Itachi wasn't the only one with a problem. Mental illness runs rampant through my family – paranoia, manic depression, schizophrenia – you were lucky if you were just sociopathic, at least then you could pretend to be normal," Sasuke spoke lightly of the topic, but his eyes were serious, "Naruto, I am afraid. Of my past and my future... of myself. I don't think I am sick, but I have tried really hard to keep away from others just to be safe. I don't need anything to weaken me, to make me susceptible to those demons. But you..." he huffed, "I couldn't keep you out. Some sort of star-crossed lovers bullshit."
Naruto smiled softly, he reached out and cupped Sasuke's cheek in his hand. The pale boy leaned into the touch, letting his eyelids droop slightly.
"Why do our lives have to be defined by tragedy?" the blond asked quietly.
Sasuke's lids dropped completely and he sighed. He lifted his head off the tan hand and returned his attention to the cobalt eyes, "I don't think we have been defined by tragedy. I think tragedy has prepared us for each other."
Naruto blinked, then slowly his lips curled up into something between a smile and a smirk, "that is so cheesy Sasuke. God, I hope you don't write Taka's songs."
Naruto chuckled and Sasuke pursed his lips. The blond's smile faltered after a moment and his eyes became more solemn as they inadvertently returned to the drum set. The raven-haired boy recognized the change in demeanor and shifted his gaze away, biting his lip.
"I'm sorry Naruto," he murmured and finally brought his eyes back, "I shouldn't have said those things. I guess...I was shocked. Not just by what happened but how it made me feel. I have never felt like that before."
Naruto leaned in, pressing his forehead gently against the pale boy's, "I know. I'm sorry too, I never meant to– "
The blond was cut off by fingertips grazing his cheek, he focused his gaze on the obsidian eyes before him. Sasuke lifted his chin and tilted his head, his parted lips paused only a breath away from Naruto's. The heat exchanged was unmistakable and Naruto's lips were tingling before contact was ever made. The seconds passed slowly, excruciatingly – the intensity of the impending contact growing exponentially. A whimper escaped Naruto and instantly Sasuke descended. The blond became weak in Sasuke's arms, he melted into the pale boy and allowed his mouth to be devoured.
Sasuke's head rose and fell with the movement of Naruto's chest. The blond was still panting, catching his breath from the heated session that had just concluded. Naruto did not normally submit during intimate exchanges, he was usually too eager or demanding. But something about Sasuke had caused him, allowed him, to be docile. Despite everything that had transpired, Naruto trusted Sasuke and the feeling was mutual.
And so, having been ravished by the dark-haired boy, Naruto was content to lay on the couch and tangle his fingers in the silky locks. The pressure of Sasuke's body on his was comforting and the blond could feel consciousness losing it's grip on him. Just before giving in to sleep he had one last thought that brought a smile to his lips. Next time, Sasuke is going to be the one left in a panting mess.