I can't believe how far this story has come! Thank you as always for being so generous and patient with me. I'm always excited to see your wonderful comments :) -Scarlet

C-25: Awaken

I didn't see Kylo that night, nor the following morning. Though I was thankful for the night's rest, my mind dwelt on the thought of him returning at any moment. Early in the morning, I dressed in my uniform and used makeup to hide my black eye. It was convincing enough for the Stormtroopers. When I opened my door to leave for the rec room, Vegas was standing there.

"Hi," he breathed, obviously taken off guard.

Recovering from my own surprise, I tucked a pinch of hair behind my ear. "Vegas … what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," he said in a breath. His nervousness looked completely foreign on him. Red rims hung beneath his eyes.

"Alright," I said, glancing back into the room. "I'm not sure when Kylo—I mean, Ren—will return."

Vegas shook his head. "Ren is interrogating the prisoner right now." At my questioning look, he added, "He's been unconscious—they used some kind of tranquilizer on him."

"Oh." I tried to not imagine how much force was needed to break a solider with that kind of willpower. In any case, Kylo could take anything he wanted from his mind. Snapping back to the present, I motioned for Vegas to enter. I immediately regretted leaving my breakfast obviously untouched on the table.

"On second thought—" Vegas spun around, nearly knocking into me in the process. "I'd rather talk somewhere else." I didn't have the energy to question him.

"Your quarters?" I guessed, and his sheepish smile proved I was correct.

Vegas' quarters were much like our Starkiller accommodations. The small living space and simple refresher seemed more cramped than I remembered. As I took a seat on the bed, I noticed that the whole room smelled like Vegas: standard issue soap and gunmetal. In fact, as I glanced over the sparse furnishings, I was surprised to see a handheld blaster on the dresser.

"I didn't know we were allowed to check guns out of the armory," I said, turning to find him. He was standing against the bulkhead across from the bed, tapping his heel rhythmically. I was suddenly worried. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"Listen, Caltrel—" A nervous hand ran through his cropped hair. "Oh, boy." He exhaled in a whoosh, coming to sit beside me. I could practically feel his anxious energy.

I laughed at his uncharacteristic behavior. "Vegas, you listened when I confided in you last night. I'm listening now," I encouraged.

He nodded as he leaned forward on his knees, and then shot me a measuring glance. "We're friends, right?"

My eyebrows drew together. "Of course," I murmured.

"How good of friends?" he pressed, looking me right in the eye.

I hesitated before I answered this time. "You're my closest friend in the entire First Order, Vegas," I said, trying to keep stray humor out of my face.

He stood abruptly, and I followed him with my eyes. I'd never seen Vegas so edgy. "I feel the same way," he confirmed with a nod. He caught my gaze with a dip of his head. "And as your closest friend, I need to … ask some things."

I shrugged, not seeing the issue. "Ask anything."

He planted his chin in his hand, maintaining fierce eye contact. "If you had to re-swear your oaths to the Order, would you do it?"

I stopped myself from giving the knee-jerk answer that was my training. Would I die for the First Order? My mouth opened and then closed again. "I—would you?" I stuttered.

Shaking his head, Vegas said, "I want to hear what you think first."

After a brief assessment, I answered, "If I knew then what I know now, I might not have sworn my oaths."

"Why?"

Another question that provoked thoughts that lay dusty and half-formed in the back of my mind. I worked my bottom lip between my teeth as I thought. "I don't agree with their methods, or their mission."

He took his seat again, coming full circle. "I need to get to the point," he sighed.

"Would you?" I asked again, resting my hand on his arm to get his attention. His vivid eyes shifted from my hand to my eyes, and I already knew the answer.

"Caltrel, I only have one shot at this, so listen." He slipped his hand underneath mine, holding tightly. The seriousness in his eyes unnerved me. "I want you to leave the First Order with me."

I immediately stood to my feet, breaking the quietness of the moment. "What?" I shouted, completely aghast.

A finger at his lips attempted to silence my protest. "Caltrel, listen—"

"You're defecting?" I hissed, yanking him up by his hand. "Are you insane?"

"Caltrel, you're not thinking," he interrupted, giving up on holding my hand. "You just said you wouldn't swear the—"

"That was hypothetical!" I ranted. "This is suicidal, Vegas, and you know it." I felt a cold sweat break out at the thought. If I know Vegas is defecting, then—

"I have a pilot, Caltrel," he said, stealing a glance at the blaster on his dresser. "I have a plan. Just listen …"

I was shaking my head. "You shouldn't have told me." A familiar sensation stung my eyes. "Ren will find out. And he'll kill you," I said evenly.

Vegas' eyes pleaded with me. "That's why we're leaving before he gets in your head," he said earnestly. "Caltrel, please. Stop and think about it."

My mind raced with how I could prevent Kylo from finding out. I was helpless against hiding thoughts from him. It was impossible! "I can't hide anything from him, Vegas," I said, feeling my face drain of color.

His hands rested gently on my shoulders, gaining my complete attention. "Come with me," he said. I kept shaking my head, and his frown deepened. "The First Order is doing no good for the galaxy right now, Caltrel. The system is failing because of Dark Side ideals." Anger flooded his face. "I didn't join up to slaughter civilians in the streets! Did you?"

I trembled underneath the weight of his hands as though they weighed a ton. My voice was hallow yet full of grief. "You know why I joined up, Vegas."

Realization flashed in his eyes. "Caltrel," he said softly, as if his voice would hurt me, "he's tearing you apart."

Emotion overtook my face, my body, my voice. I grasped for words. "I loved him," I tried to explain. "I would die for him, Vegas."

Vegas' eyes never left mine, even as the vivid green glossed over with unshed tears. "Would you live for him?" he challenged with a crack in his voice.

The thought wasn't lost on me. For the past months, Kylo's tyrannical behavior seemed to be a new reality. I had hardened myself to the idea that nothing could change, and that my place was by his side. For the first time in a long time, new possibilities opened in my mind. A world without anger, without fear … without Kylo.

"He'll look for us," I warned, looking up at him.

Vegas swiped the corner of his eye before moisture could escape. "He's looking for Luke Skywalker. We're two Stormtroopers."

Was it so simple? I was shocked to find myself opening up to the idea. "Who is this pilot?" I asked, determined to poke holes in his plan.

He gestured for me to sit again, and I did with a glower on my face. "Listen to my plan," he said, pressing his hands together. "Trip McConnell, a friend from Starkiller. I don't think you ever met him. He does supply runs for the Finalizer's supporting cruisers."

I wasn't convinced. "Say we make it to the Titan," I said, naming the first Star Cruiser on my mind. "What then?"

"Then the Titan makes a supply run to Takodana," Vegas continued with growing confidence, "we 'unload' at Maz Kanata's outpost, and then hire someone to help us disappear."

"With what credits?" I asked.

Vegas hesitated. "We don't need to think that far ahead yet. The important part is getting on and off the Titan undetected." He pointed to his red pennant. "These will help. No one will question us."

I fiddled with my badge aimlessly as I visualized his plan. With the amount of trust and liberty that was given to us on the Finalizer, it could work. "If we get caught, we will be killed. As traitors," I said. The word left a sour taste in my mouth.

"I know," Vegas said, nodding gravely. "We won't get caught. I've given this a lot of thought."

I was torn between thinking he was insane and thinking he was a genius. However, no matter how I thought it through, I always ended up at Kylo. I wanted Vegas to understand. "I can't leave him, Vegas," I said finally. "He would hate me."

Vegas wore an exacerbated frown. "You're saying he doesn't hate you now?" he demanded. The stabbing comment sunk into me like a knife, and I'm sure it showed on my face. He was immediately apologetic, sinking to his knees beside the bed. "I don't mean it like that … I just can't stand what he's done to you."

"I know," I conceded, rubbing the marks on my upper arms. "I can't help it."

"Let me help you," Vegas interjected, fresh determination in his eyes. "Take a chance with me. Trust me."

I stared at him for a moment, finally seeing the path clearly. A path away from the First Order, forever. The thought scared me. "It's so sudden," I said, voice wavering.

"It has to be." He shook his head, but didn't apologize. "I need your answer, Caltrel."

Looking down at his hopeful face, I let out a tense, unceremonious laugh. He smiled, and I felt a thrill of excitement pass between us. "When?" I asked.

"Today. Luckily, before Ren even realizes we're gone."

I bit my lip in thought. "He won't notice that I'm gone until tonight."

Vegas nodded. "And he shouldn't need me for this interrogation. So here's what I want you to do …"

As I returned to my room to gather some things, my whole body started shaking with excitement. I second guessed my decision as soon as the doors closed behind me, cutting off Vegas' influence. Can I really do this? My eyes traveled around the room aimlessly, searching for something, anything to anchor me there.

The door signal chimed for the droid delivering my lunch, and I got an idea. "Droid, wait for a few minutes. I have a task for you," I said, and it chirped its acknowledgement.

I sat down with my datapad and started to write a note to Kylo. I wanted to tell him how deeply in love I'd fallen with him. I wanted to tell him how much he changed my life. I wanted him to forgive me for the crime I was about to commit. I wanted all this, but I knew deep down to my very soul that I couldn't stay. It was as if Vegas' words had awakened a mysterious force inside of me, pulling me away from Kylo's dark path. After I finished the note, I felt a spark of confidence.

I copied the note onto a datacube, offering it to the droid. "Deliver this to Lord Ren tomorrow night, with his dinner. Do you understand?" The droid gave a cheerful beep at the instruction. A pincer extended to grasp the cube, and then retracted back into its compartment. "Thank you," I said, standing.

I'm ready.