AN/ Here it is, the battle assessment. Sorry for the wait but internet problems meant a hold up. That and the fact that I have managed to be accepted into university so I have been running around getting all the paperwork done. In two months time I will be studying to become a Japanese teacher, whoo hoo. Anyway, here we go, I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own either series, just have fun torturing the characters.

Chapter 25: Battle Assessment

"So Fullmetal. Are you prepared this time?" Colonel Mustang stood across from him in the Weasley's yard, his immaculate uniform looking rather odd when you took in the rather haphazard building that represented the wizard family's home behind him.

Ed snorted, "Really Colonel, I thought you would know better by now, I am always prepared."

The Colonel smirked at him and raised an eyebrow, "That's not what I remember Edward. As I recall, most of the time you fly off the handle without even thinking. After all, I am generally the one who is left to clean up the mess afterwards."

Ed felt his temper stirring but his eyes drifted to a few points on the ground, indistinguishable from the rest of the snow and a smirk that rivalled his superiors spread across his face, "Tell me Colonel, how does it feel to act like me for a change?"

Mustang frowned slightly at the question and Ed's smirk grew, 'Heh, payback time Colonel.'

"What are you talking about?" he asked finally and Ed snickered.

"If I am the one that fly's off the handle all the time, as you say, why is it that you are the one who has almost blown our cover, on numerous occasions, by torching the ministry staff?"

There was a faint snicker off to one side and Ed could see annoyance in the Colonels dark eyes. They had a rather large audience at the moment as the entire group that had gathered for Christmas had all slipped out into the yard as soon as they heard of the assessment that the Colonel had planned.

A patch of royal blue off to one side shifted slightly and Ed turned his eyes to where Hawkeye was standing in time to catch the irritated look she was casting their superiors way and snickered.

"After all Colonel," he continued, "It took you about a fortnight and you were in a magazine for barbequing someone's desk. The only reason that I have been 'found out' is because I was ordered to tell my friends as much as I deemed necessary to keep them safe."

The dark eyebrow of the man across from him twitched slightly and Ed snickered, "Why sir, one would think you didn't want to be here. If I remember correctly, this was your idea to begin with."

Mustang glared at him for a moment then his face split into a wide grin and Ed felt his stomach drop, 'Uh oh.' He was about to get as good as he had just given.

"That is true, Fullmetal," he all but purred, "And as I recall, you are the one who insisted that magic was not real, so I guess then that you won't mind if I add a few more stakes to your assessment. After all, you did mention something about some research you were conducting, how about we put your theories to the test."

Without any more warning then that, there was a muttered incantation off to one side and Ed dove out of the way as a stream of purple light streaked past him. 'Oh shit.'

He had enough time to roll to his feet before; snap, fizzt, BOOM.

He was thrown back by a fireball exploding almost under his nose. "Come on Fullmetal, you can do better then this. I mean, as small a target as you are, I would think that dodging would be even easier." The Colonel's voice taunted as he flipped into a back handspring to bring himself out from under the flames. With a growl of annoyance, he clapped his hands together and slammed them into the ground then sprang away again before his transmutation had even taken effect, clapping again and bringing up his alchemy shield as another attack headed towards him from which ever of the watching wizards the bastard had managed to talk into helping.

There was a curse off to one side and Ed snapped his head around and almost choked on his laughter at the sight of the Colonel with a gnome attacked to either leg, biting at his knees. He really had to thank the twins for their idea of chasing the things out of their burrows, making sure the entrances just happened to be at the Colonels feet.

It didn't last long as Mustang snapped and the two ugly creatures let go of him, cursing in their high voices as twin fire balls went off beneath their backsides.

Ed didn't pause, knowing that he had to act fast. He clapped his hands again and drew his hand over his metal arm, making sure that the blade he brought forth was dull, after all he didn't really want to hurt the man by accident.

He realised after a moment that it probably wouldn't have mattered if he had made the blade razor sharp. He closed with the Colonel and took a swipe at his head and the man swayed out of reach effortlessly and snapped again, causing Ed to spring away from the small blast before launching himself straight back in again, ducking low and sweeping his automail leg at the Colonel's knees.

Mustang flipped out of the way, much as Ed had earlier, and swept out with his own foot as soon as he landed in a low crouch, catching Ed behind his ankle and sending him tumbling.

He continued his roll knowing that if he stayed still he would end up char grilled, and sure enough another detonation left a crater in the ground where he had just been.

Springing to his feet, he glanced around and grinned in anticipation as he saw a few points of sparks on the ground around the Colonels feet, "Hey sparky, you might want to take cover." He taunted and dove to one side as the faint whistle the twins had warned him of came from the hidden gifts he had buried in the snow earlier.

Mustang had enough time to glance down at the sound before the snow erupted in three points around his feet and sparking fireworks shot up into the air.

A brightly coloured Catherine wheel whirled around him and he cursed as the hem of his jacket was set alight. Slapping at the smouldering fabric he ducked instinctively as a dragon shaped out of green sparks swooped in at his head, training red flames.

While the man battled with the fireworks, Ed found himself bombarded by spells, and he cursed loudly as he threw up his shield. Then with a wicked grin, he clapped his hands and watched with glee as the transmutation circle appeared in the air outlined in blue light in time to catch another spell hurled his way.

He heard Ron yell, "Dad, look out." As the circle absorbed the blast then sent it hurtling back to the one who cast it to be caught on the man's own shield as he threw up his own charms, forewarned of what Ed was capable off.

Ed laughed to himself as he heard good natured cursing from the sidelines then swore himself as another blast went off beneath his feet, the Colonel having managed to shake off the fireworks.

He managed to scramble out of the way of the fireball that roared up at him but had to dodge sharply to one side as the telltale trail of sparks circles around to his left, signalling one of the Flame Alchemists more enthusiastic explosions.

The concussion of the displaced air was strong enough to knock him off his feet and he quickly scrambled to regain his footing but froze as he found a set of fingers, encased in a smudged white glove, poised beneath his nose.

"So Fullmetal, do you yield?" Ed blinked up into amused black eyes and chuckled nervously, trying to think his way out of this situation. He knew if he moved he was going to be a cinder.

He shifted slightly then blanched as his hand came down on a soft patch of earth beside him. He had forgotten one last trap and he had just tripped it himself.

There was a puff of pink smoke that twirled around him and he stared in shock, going cross eyed as he watched the tip of his own nose stretch out three inches from it's usual size. The overgrown bangs hanging in his eyes bled from blond to bright pink and he groaned, not really wanting to know what other changes had come over him. This was a new invention of Fred and George's. They had warned him that they hadn't fully tested it yet, but assured him that it was completely harmless. The powder was encased in a flat bladder that changed itself to look like the surface of whatever it was resting on, perfect for putting on people's chairs. The powder inside puffed out in a cloud, engulfing the poor unfortunate person to sit on it. What it did, on the other hand, was different for each batch. Basically it made the victim look like a complete idiot, changing their appearance temporarily.

He glanced up at a faint snicker and saw a suspicious twinkle in the black eyes that still gazed down at him. As soon as he caught the Colonel's eyes, that twinkle grew and he saw the stoic face twitch and a soft snort came from the sharp nose.

Grumbling to himself, he sighed but pulled up short as the sigh came out as a loud quack. Unfortunately, that was all Mustang was able to handle. The man collapsed over onto his backside and all but howled with laughter and Ed gritted his teeth, hearing laughter from the sidelines as well.

Finally he gave in and collapsed onto his back, laughing hard, his laugh coming out as a collection of quacks, that just made him laugh all the more.

By the time they had managed to calm down some, Ed had regained the use of his voice and he pushed himself up by has hands and glanced around the yard a grimace coming to his face. Mrs Weasley's once neat yard looked like a war zone. There were smoking craters all over the place, interspersed with the rubble from Ed's transmutations and some of the bushes around the edges still smouldered.

"I think we have clean up duty again, Colonel." He muttered.

Mustang looked around too, still snorting softly. Seeing the devastation, he pulled a face and sighed but a chuckle from behind them cut off any comment he might have made.

"Don't worry about the mess." Mr Weasley told them cheerfully as he and the twins helped the two of them to their feet, "We have fixed up bigger disasters caused by Fred and George in the past." He nodded to said boys and the two of them grinned in understanding.

Turning, they pulled out their wands and spoke in unison, "Reparo."

The yard shifted itself back to its original state and the twins turned to the three military members, Hawkeye having come over to stand with the other two, and gave a flourishing bow.

"Allow us to present the handymen extraordinaire."

"No job too big."

"No job too small."

"Hide the evidence of even the biggest prank."

"Leave no trace of an experiment gone wrong."

Ed laughed at the two of them then tugged at the end of his still overlarge nose, "Speaking of pranks, how long until this wears off?"

Fred shrugged, the innocent look on his face mirrored by his brother, "No idea."

"Yes, no idea at all."

"After all, we did warn you."

"Yes we did. Not properly tested remember."

Ed looked from one innocent face to the other and felt his eye begin to twitch, Mustang wasn't helping snickering in his ear either.

"Are you telling me I am stuck like this?"

They shrugged and spoke together, "Not permanently."

Ed dropped to his knees and pulled his braid over his shoulder to stare at his bright pink hair mournfully, feeling a sympathetic pat on his shoulder, he looked up into Harry's face, Ron standing beside him, "Look at it this way mate." Ron informed him gravely, "At least this way, the first thing they comment on isn't going to be your height anymore."

That comment sent the Colonel into another howl of laughter and Mrs Weasley ushered them all inside, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

"You, Mr Mustang, get yourself over here." She demanded. The snickering Colonel raised an eyebrow at her then turned pale as she pointer her wand at him, "Don't be silly dear, I'm just going to clean you us a bit, Scourgify." The scorch marks on the Man's uniform vanished and the soot that streaked his face cleared away and after carefully looking himself over, the Colonel bowed to her, "My thanks, Madam." Then he turned his eyes on his young subordinate, "Fullmetal, I think you had better clean yourself up as well." The look he threw him had Ed rolling his eyes. He knew what that meant, he was to clean himself up the hard way. Snapping his heels together, he gave an insolent salute, "Yes sir, Colonel sir." turning on his heal, he marched from the room, then skipped up the stairs once he was out of sight of the kitchen. From the footsteps behind him, he gathered that Ron and Harry were following him.

Once they reached Ron's room, the other two collapsed on their beds as Ed searched through his trunk for a clean set of clothes.

"That was wicked, Ed." Ron said enthusiastically, "A lot more involved then a wizards duel. In those, all you really do is stand back and throw spells at each other."

Ed snorted as he pulled out a new set of pants, "Stupid really. As I told Snape, all you have to do is get inside the wizards reach. If he doesn't know how to protect himself with his hands and feet, he's done for." Pulling out another shirt, he stripped off his red jacket and lay it on the bed, and as the other two boys turned their backs he changed his clothes, then collapsed onto the bed.

"Damn, that was fun though." He laughed, "Did you see the look on his face when those gnomes grabbed him?" he snickered and shook his head.

Harry laughed, "Or when those fireworks erupted out of the ground. So do you think you'll get a good review?"

Ed shrugged and stared at the violent orange ceiling, "Not sure, really." He mused, "I have a written section to hand in as well containing all of my research. Somehow I think that it is going to be fine." He threw a smirk over at the two wizards, "After all, no one in the higher ranks knows anything about magic other then Colonel annoying downstairs, so anything I give them is going to be breakthrough research."

He lay contemplating his assessment for a moment when there came a knock at the door before it was respectfully opened by none other then Lieutenant Hawkeye, "Fullmetal, sir." she nodded to him and he sat up on his bed, "The Colonel would like to talk to you for a moment."

He sighed then nodded, "I'll be right down."

He turned a look of resignation on the other two as the older woman closed the door again and Harry raised an eyebrow at him, "Is there a problem?"

Ed gave him a sour look, "Oh no, not really." He answered, "The Colonel is just going to give me his, you screwed up lecture. Either for my assessment or something else I managed to do wrong."

Sighing he rose to his feet and lifted his jacket to slip it on when something caught his eye and he lifted the garment to stare at it in horror. The entire bottom edge had been burnt off and there scorch marks up the back. Standing there Ed felt his face heat up as his temper boiled.

From down in the kitchen they heard the explosion, Roy Mustang listening with his old smirk turning into a grin at the ranting, "OI BASTARD. WHAT THE HELL IS THE BIG IDEA OF SETTING FIRE TO MY COAT? WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO WISH HAWKEYE TURNED YOU INTO SWISS CHEESE FOR SETTING YOUR PAPERWORK ON FIRE THE OTHER MORNING…."
The kid continued to rant, Mustang however had gone pale and his face twitched slightly as the familiar feeling of cold metal on his neck sent a shiver down his spine, "Eh heh, Hawkeye. Ah, what he meant was…"

……………….

AN/ Heh, so there we go. Ed has pink hair, Mustang is about to be shot for shirking his duties again and Ron and Harry have seen a demonstration of what Ed is capable of. Something that will come in handy later when all goes to hell.

Thank you for your reviews once again, and for your patience. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.

See ya.