Aaaah, it's been forever! I didn't think it'd take this long!
Well, to be honest, I don't think this chapter is what you guys were expecting…but I had to bring in Tobi and Zetsu at some point. And Tobi's going to be Tobi…just because. So he's not Madara. And he looks like…I dunno, stereotype Tobi only with both eyes?
If you don't get what Sasori and Deidara are talking about in the beginning, it's about Deidara having to knock Sasori out on the way to school.

Previously:

"But tomorrow morning while walking to school is when–!" Deidara was cut off from a finger pressed to his lips.

Sasori smirked, drawing back his arm. "Tomorrow while walking to school."

"…Now?" Sasori paused, eyes widened in confusion as he turned to the other.

"Un, I'm sorry, I should've lied…"

"No, that's not what I meant, idiot." Sasori sighed.

"What should I do?"

"Don't do it. If you try, I'll beat your ass down to hell and tell them to keep it."

Deidara glared. "Un? Well shove your mouth up your ass and keep it there."

"Why? Yours is so much more annoying."

"Heh, I think I could start a debate over that…"

"I never knew you found such joy in humiliating yourself in public, shit."

"I think you have that mixed up, jackass."

"Oh, so you're ecstatic about that kind of crap? You're more of a brat than I thought, brat!"

"Is that the best insult you can come up with, asswipe?"

"I don't know, why don't you use your super amazing telepathy and investigate, dumbass?!"

"Watch out, shithead, your head might just explode from the excess of big words!"

"There weren't even any big words in that sentence, idiot!"

"My point!"

"Like you even know what a point is…"

Once again, Deidara pounced. Only this time, it had already been predicted. Deidara quickly found himself beneath the shorter male, robbed of movement.

Sasori took a hold of the other's chin with his right hand, tipping Deidara's head up while exposing his neck. A smirk lit up his lips at the flash of fear he saw in the blue irises. He lifted up his left hand, bringing his pointer finger to his lips and stating out, "I could easily slit your throat in this position, you know." He lightly nipped at the nail before pulling it away from his mouth, the smirk growing.

Deidara felt his face heat up. I-Is this more of the 'flirting' Pain-san was talking about…?

Sasori saw the flush and blinked before the smirk returned. He leaned down so he was staring straight into blue eyes, tilted his head and whispered, "What? Are you turned on by this? De…i…da…ra…?"

"…!" Deidara's face reddened up instantly. "N-No, of course not! Who said anything about being turned on?" He bit his tongue to prevent the words "you," "perverted" and "flirt" from coming out. It was then that Deidara realized that his arms were free.

"That's good." Sasori moved back, closing his eyes, smiling and cocking his head again. "You'd be pretty weird if you had said yes."

Deidara huffed, looking away. "Why're your nails so sharp anyways? You file them?"

An offended look crossed Sasori's features. "Of course not, dumbass. I'm not some prissy girl. They're naturally sharp."

The blond gave a skeptical look.

"They are, you stupid shit!" Anger was boiling in the silver-eyed boy. "I bit them when I was younger, like any idiot kid, and they still grew back like this! You think I like having sharp nails? They're so Goddamn annoying! I sometimes even stab myself because I forget!"

Blue eyes widened. Deidara sat up abruptly, hastily grasping the other's shoulders.

Sasori was stunned as he found himself now, instead on top of Deidara, on his lap. He couldn't stop Deidara from tightening his grasp, staring into his eyes.

"You hurt yourself?" Deidara asked, worry apparent in his tone.

"No, you idiot," Sasori snapped, sweeping the hands off his shoulders. "I said sometimes!"

"But…if you do get hurt…!"

"Tch, stop it! You're acting so protective!" Sasori scoffed, turning his head away and narrowing his eyes. "You're going to start acting like Grandma…"

I…Is he pouting? Deidara blinked.

"Sasori?"

Said boy froze.

"Sasori, are you–?" Pain stared from the sidewalk, head whipping to his left as Konan struggled to his side. "Konan! Is this your doing?!"

Konan couldn't hold back her laughter anymore, and she burst out into hysterics, clutching her stomach as she pointed at the two males.

"S-Sasori…!" She wheezed out, giggling like mad at the ash-rose-eyed teen's crimson face. "A-Are you actually…actually straddling Deidara-kun…?!"

"Sh-Shut up!" Sasori shot up, glaring viciously as he stomped over to Pain and Konan. "He was originally laying down while I threatened to slit his throat for making fun of me, and then he told me I file my nails like some stupid girl, so I told him they're naturally sharp – which he didn't believe – and that I sometimes injure myself with them, and he sat up and went all…Grandma-like on me!" He growled as he redirected his attention to the orange-haired boy. "Pain! Tell him that my nails have always been naturally sharp!"

Pain sighed, directing his gray gaze to the newest student as he stood up to join them. "Yes, Deidara, Sasori's nails have always been sharp, ever since I've known him. I didn't believe him either, but he cut one and it grew back to be sharp. So I should know about those nails." He took the moment to curl his lip slightly and spit out, "He's scratched me countless times in the past with them for no Goddamn reason at all, the little shit."

Sasori gave Pain a look that was absolutely dripping poison. "Only because you were convinced I was a girl and continuously asked me to wear a dress, jackass!"

Deidara blinked. "Sasori-san…you're the 'shit?'"

The redhead turned on him. "No, you're the shit, shit!"

"Sasori, I didn't think you were a girl, I was just teasing."

"I didn't like you that way, I don't like you that way, and I never will like you that way," Sasori snapped.

"I didn't mean teasing that way either."

"That's the way you made it sound, you idiot perv!"

"I'm the perv? Look at you, Mr. I-flirt-with-the-whole-school."

"I don't flirt!"

"Tell that to everyone you flirt with."

"Konan…" Deidara turned to the girl, as the other two fought, "Don't they usually get along?"

"Usually." Konan folded her arms over her chest. "But they do have their arguments…like you and Sasori. I've seen you two fighting like that."

Deidara snorted. "Because Sasori-san is an asswipe."

"I heard that, you little–!"

"Sasori shut up!" Konan barked, rolling her eyes.

"Anyways," Pain said as he withdrew from his argument, "the reason Konan and I came down this way was because we need to discuss this matter personally." He paused until blue eyes locked with his gray ones. "Now, did you ask me for information on everyone for Orochimaru?"

"I told you, Pain, he didn't–!"

"Sasori, stay out of this."

"…No, I didn't. I just didn't want to talk to Hidan about himself. I don't care to learn the step-by-step instructions on how to skewer squirrels."

Konan nodded. "Makes sense."

"Did you try to attack Sasori in his house?"

"No."

"Did you tell Orochimaru anything?"

"No."

"Alright, we get it. Like I told you, he didn't do anything. So what's the plan?" Sasori growled, putting a hand on his hip.

"We don't do anything."

"What?!"

"I'm supposed to knock Sasori-san out on the way to school, un!"

"Calm down, you two." Konan sighed. "Orochimaru's expecting Sasori knocked out by the time he gets to school, right?"

"Un…"

"Is he expecting Pain and I to be with you two?" she asked before hesitating. "Wait, Zetsu's still not here?"

"Zetsu?" Deidara looked at Sasori.

"You've never seen him?" Sasori cocked his head. "He sits next to Pain."

Deidara blinked.

Sasori stared for a moment before snapping his head to look at the leader. "Are you telling me you didn't introduce him?"

"How was I supposed to know that Zetsu wouldn't just introduce himself?"

"Because he never introduces himself."

"There's always a chance."

"You sit right next to him."

"Sasori, what's going on here?"

Sasori turned. "Itachi?"

"Kisame?"

"Zetsu, what is the meaning of this? I thought we said you'd tell everyone else after we decided what to do."

"Wait, is Hidan here as well? I'm going to kill that stupid, annoying–!"

"Shut up, brat!"

"Want me to do something about him, Sasori?"

"Leave him alone, Zetsu!" Sasori bristled, moving in front of Deidara slightly.

Zetsu gave an odd look. "You're such a hypocrite, you know that? Yes, you are…"

"Go talk to yourself somewhere else!"

"Zetsu!"

The green-haired student switched his gaze to Pain. "Itachi and Kisame found me while I was walking over this way and tagged along. That's all. There's nothing else to it. Is this acceptable?"

So that's Zetsu? Deidara glanced briefly at the teen.

"Yes, that's fine," Pain answered. "Now, for the plan–"

"Wait! Wait, I'm here!"

"What's he doing here?" Konan rubbed her forehead, pressing her other hand to her waist. "Zetsu, did you invite him?"

"No, he followed me. I think he did. It's most likely."

"Sasori-san…" Deidara stared at the dark-haired student running their way.

"Stay back."

"Why?"

"Because otherwise your brain will burst."

"But–"

"He's worse than that Inuzuka. Trust me."

"Zetsu-san! Zetsu-san, I saw you and followed you! I hope you don't–!" The boy then caught sight of the blond. "Ah!" He ran over, smiling a bit too friendly-like. "You're Deidara, right? The new student? And newest member in Akatsuki?"

Sasori backed up a little until he could lightly feel a third of Deidara's front on his back.

Deidara was taken aback by the outright friendly attitude. "U-Un, that's right…"

"Is that so?" The male grinned. "I'm Tobi! I can't believe we haven't met yet!"

"T-Tobi, huh?" Deidara forced a grin back. "It's…nice to meet you."

"Ah!" Tobi let out a laugh. "You talk funny, Deidara-senpai! It's really cute!"

Silver eyes narrowed. "Tch."

"Sasori-san?" Deidara watched as Sasori started striding off.

"I'm heading for the school. I don't want to be late. We can figure out what we're going to do later. Deidara has his first class with Itachi and Kisame anyways," Sasori said, slipping his hands into his pockets.

Deidara nodded and hastily went to catch up with the other. "I don't want to be in trouble with Principal Tsunade…again, that is."

Much to Sasori's annoyance, Tobi decided to tag along as well.

"Wow! You two are already so close!" he observed, looking the two over. "How'd you do it, Senpai? Sasori-san's a real wet blanket, y'know? Emotionless wall, too. Did I mention he has anger management problems?"

Feeling Sasori stiffen next to him, Deidara decided to change the subject. "Why aren't you ever in lunch?"

"Me?" Tobi blinked. "I don't eat lunch. So I just sit in a classroom and finish my homework. That way, I don't have to do any at home. Why? Do you want me in lunch?"

"No."

Tobi whined a little. "Zetsu-san! Sasori-san's being mean to me again!"

Deidara winced a little. "Sasori-san…I'm going to run."

"…!" Sasori stared at the taller boy. "No…"

"Un?" Deidara redirected his attention to the other, feeling his blood run cold at the expression he was receiving. Not now…! Not in front of everyone! Why now…? I didn't even do anything! "A-Alright, I'm not going to. I'm going to stay right here, un."

Tobi had already run back to talk with Zetsu and the others, and for that, Deidara was relieved. Until he felt something brush his hand. He moved it, turning to the redhead and hissing out, "No!"

"But–!"

"No, I will not hold your hand when we're in front of everyone!"

"Deidara…!" Sasori protested, rather loudly.

Deidara froze and looked back briefly to see if anyone had heard the almost-whine. Thankfully, it seemed as if they hadn't. He turned back to the other. "Sasori-san, enough!"

He still didn't get how this had triggered. Tobi? Was it Tobi? …Right, he had said the way Deidara talked was cute! That must've been it! And then when Deidara had stated he was going to run, Sasori must've thought that, like before, Tobi would've followed and something…bad would ha–Something was putting pressure on his right arm. His eyes widened, and he jerked to the side, flushing slightly as he strained out, "No, don't press against me either! Not until the others are at a point where they can't see!"

"But when's that going to be?"

"After school!"

"No! That's too long to wait!"

"Keep your voice down!"

"Deidara!"

Deidara felt a sigh of relief well up in his chest as he saw the school come into view. "Sasori-san, the school's right there and–"

"I'm not going."

And he stopped walking.

Oh, holy shit, not here! Deidara felt the need to bash his head into something. "Sasori-san–"

"I'm not going!"

Deidara took in a deep breath and stated with slight irritation, "Okay…Sasori-san, follow me. If they talk, don't talk back. Got it?" When he received a nod, he started walking, a bit faster than normal, to his left. Soft footsteps behind him noted him of Sasori following.

"Where are you two going?"

He turned to face Pain and the rest of the group. "Sasori-san and I need to go check something out. You all go on ahead of us, un."

"You'll be late."

"Un, but this is important."

"…"

"S…Something wrong?"

"…Why does Sasori look like that?"

"L-Look like what?"

"You know what I'm talking about. He looks like some stupid baby. What's going on?"

"Nothing. You're just…imagining it."

"Oh really." Pain gave a doubtful look.

"Really."

"…Alright then…"

The blond turned and nodded at Sasori, who stared back at him in confusion. "Run…" he mumbled, watching as the other nodded and started off. Sighing, he ran after him.

"Now what?" Sasori asked as Deidara made it to behind the tree.

"…" Deidara sat down in front of Sasori, who was already seated, with his back pressing against the tree trunk. He peered around it to make sure that no one else was around, or could see what was going on. When it was all clear, he turned back to the redhead. "Come here."

Sasori blinked before crawling over.

When he was close enough, Deidara reached out and pulled him in.

"Sasori-san…turn back now…" Deidara mumbled to himself, beginning to gently rub Sasori's back. "I'm holding more than your hand…"

"Deidara…" Sasori nuzzled the other's shoulder.

Deidara sighed again. This might take a while.

––––––»

Tsunade had, of course, chewed him out. And then Kakashi chewed him out. Then Itachi and Kisame questioned him to what was so important that he made himself late – himself and Sasori. And then Sasori found him in the halls and bit his head off – "Why the hell did you make us late?! We were right there, you idiot shit! And why the hell were we–Agh, just forget it!" – until Deidara had told him what had happened. Then, a bright red blush spread over Sasori's cheeks and he stalked off in a huff. Oh yes. Deidara had walked to and into school holding Sasori's hand. The two were behind the tree for far too long, and Deidara decided to get up to go to school, hoping the other would snap out of his autophobia on the way. Turns out…he didn't snap out of it until they were in the school. And, when he felt the other start to stir, Deidara fled. Unfortunately…Sasori sort of…remembered Deidara holding his hand…somehow. Fortunately, after hearing what had happened, he forgave him. Or, as much as Sasori could forgive.

"So Orochimaru really wasn't waiting on school grounds?"

"No. We were ready for him when we entered, but he never showed. None of his group did," Itachi explained, sighing, as he had answered the question already. "I've answered this to you, Sasori."

"Yes, but I just wanted to make sure!" Sasori argued, lip curling slightly. "Then tell me this: is the plan still to do nothing?"

"Didn't you ask Pain?"

"Deidara doesn't know! Because you, or Kisame for that matter, for whatever reason, didn't tell him!"

"He never asked. If he wanted to know, he should've."

"Itachi!"

"Calm down, Sasori."

"Un, so…why is the plan to do nothing?"

"We're going to wait and see what Orochimaru does," Itachi said. "We've got the upper hand here, as most everyone here knows of what's going on…" Dark eyes flicked to Hidan and Kakuzu briefly. "We shouldn't rush things just because of this, however. Pain wants to just let things happen when they happen, and as long as you're around friends, Deidara-kun, I think you'll be fine."

"He is not my friend," Deidara growled, pointing at Hidan.

"That's not what he meant, brat. You idiot. He meant like the Akatsuki as a whole."

"Deidara-chan! Come on, don't be that way! What makes that girly redhead any better than me?"

"What did you call me? Did you just call me a girl?"

"Seriously, redhead, you do act like one…"

"Are you asking to die young?!"

"Sasori-san…you kinda…do…act and look like a girl…"

"Dammit, brat, whose side are you–Wait, did you just say I look like a girl?"

"I-I meant it in the good way?"

"There is no 'good way,' you stupid shit!"

"He means he thinks you're pretty, redhead! Duh!"

"…!"

"What the hell do you know? I didn't mean it that he's pretty! He does look like a girl!"

"Why you–!"

"What the fuck? You think he's pretty, blondie, and–!"

"That's enough, Hidan."

"Why does everyone compare me to a stupid girl?!"

"Because you do act like one, redhead! Geez, isn't it obvious? Probably the reason you hate them so much!"

"That's it!" Sasori abruptly stood up. "I can't stand this any longer!"

"Sasori-san!" Deidara made a move to follow the shorter teen as he stomped out towards the exit of the cafeteria.

"Deidara, don't!" Kisame hastily reached out and prevented him from leaving.

"Kisame!"

"Leave him alone, Deidara!" Kisame didn't budge. "When he's like this, there's no telling what he'll do!"

"But–!"

"He once hit Itachi-san when he got this angry!"

"…! E-Even so…"

"He even almost hit blue-girl over there, if the almighty God hadn't come in," Hidan added. "Hell, he'd hit almost anyone!"

"Did Sasori tell you to call me that?" Pain asked, gray eyes glaring into purple. "Damn him, I've had enough of his lip!"

"Face it, Leader: you have a God complex!"

"Why the hell am I 'blue-girl?'"

"I…don't care if he'll do anything…" Deidara admitted, ignoring the shocked look he got. "I've already seen him when he's angry…I think I can hold my own…"

"But Deidara–!"

"I'm going after him." Without another word, the blond shook his wrist free and ran off.

"Itachi-san…" Kisame turned to the Uchiha, a worried expression painted on his features. "Should we…?"

"No." Itachi's eyes narrowed. "Deidara-kun decides his own path…and if this is the path he's chosen, we cannot change it."

"But Orochimaru…"

Itachi didn't answer.

––––––»

"Sasori-san!" Deidara ran down the hallway, looking frantically around. Damn that stupid arrogant jackass for being so secretive about everything! Was he outside? No, he couldn't have gotten that far…bathroom? Sasori never used the school's bathrooms.

"I refuse to go and pull down my pants while in the same room that some idiot currently resides, or did so in the past!"

Stupid bastard.

"Sasori-san, I know you hear me!" Deidara snapped into the empty corridor, feet stomping down. "Answer me, you stubborn asswipe!"

"Deidara-kun!" Kurenai poked her head out of her room. "I would advise you not to use such language in front of a teacher."

"Sorry, Kurenai-sensei…" Deidara tried to keep his voice sincere, rather than the annoyed tone it had naturally taken already. "I'm just frustrated, that's all, un."

Kurenai nodded in understanding before retreating back into her room, closing the door.

Deidara sighed. Dead end. Then where could he be? …Outside. Yes, he could've gone out the main entrance. Deidara mentally yelled at himself for not remembering it earlier. That stupid main entrance…he even went right past it! So Sasori was outside after all.

"Damn him…" he growled as he started to walk towards the door to outside that was nearest to him.

Until he felt the cold hands ghost over the skin of his neck, fingers trailing lower over his collarbone before moving back up to have a gentle hold on his neck.

He stiffened, frozen, unable to turn around.

"Now…you ruined the fun and told everyone, didn't you dear? My plans I had are now rendered useless…since everyone knows…I think you should be punished, don't you?"

Deidara turned his head slowly, feeling the hold on his throat tighten slightly, and met with golden eyes. "Orochimaru…"

Zetsu talks to himself because…he does. Yes.
…I kinda see this as more of a filler chapter than anything…ah well. Poor Sasori. I don't think he looks like a girl at all…ahaha…
Hidan needs to sacrifice something in the next chapter. Seriously. I think I'm killing myself for not putting in Hidan's stupidity for a gazillion chapters.

～Arrina