AN: First of all, let me say that I was blown away by the responses to the last chapter. Thank you all for taking the time to review and share your thoughts! Second, I'm sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while. I just started my first semester of grad school, so my free time has been extremely limited. This chapter was also very complicated to write, and I wanted to take the time to do it justice. While I had originally envisioned this part of the story to go one way, the writing and characters took me in a different direction. You guys have been wonderfully passionate about this fic, so I'm anticipating some strong reactions. I don't necessarily want to give anything away, but I will say that there are a few more chapters left to this story. So, here we go...

Chapter 25

Haley leaned against a stack of boxes and concentrated on her breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Her knees were weak, and her heart felt heavy. "Thank you for being honest with me," Haley said, her voice devoid of emotion.

He was losing her. That much was obvious in the way she'd distanced herself from him. Nathan inwardly cursed. "I didn't mean to kiss her. I mean, it happened but it...I do care about Toni but...shit. I'm not explaining this right."

"Nathan, it's fine." Once again, no inflection.

"No, it's not fine, Haley. You have to know what really happened."

"I've heard enough. I get it."

Her lack of emotion was driving Nathan insane. Ten minutes ago she'd been furious and pounding on his chest. Now she looked like an empty shell of the girl he loved. It broke his heart all over again.

When words failed, there was only one thing to do. Nathan closed the distance between them, took her in his arms, and kissed her. Haley stood in shock, unresponsive, but he refused to let go. The intensity of his lips willed her to feel all of the love, frustration, and want that had been warring inside of him these last few months.

Eventually he pulled back just enough to press a few more light pecks on her lips. Afterward, Nathan stared at her intently. Haley's eyes were shut, as if she were concentrating really hard on something. She hadn't kissed back, and it filled Nathan with disappointment. There was a time when no matter how angry or upset he made her, she would still open herself up to him completely.

"Haley." His throat felt tight, but he forced the words out. "Hales, kissing Toni did change things. But it's not in the way you think. I'll admit that I was confused about a lot of stuff when it happened. I didn't know where we stood, and Dan's whole sob story about regrets had me second guessing everything. In that moment, kissing Toni was almost like a test."

Finally, Haley's eyes opened. She remained quiet but held his gaze.

"I won't deny that Toni and I are close. Sometimes it's easier for me to talk to her than anyone else, because she's not one of our group. Sometimes I just need an outside perspective. When I thought you might have turned to Jake, I didn't know if I should fight for you or if I should just let you go. I guess in the back of my mind, I kind of figured that if there was anyone who could make me get over you, it'd be her. Basically for all of the reasons you said.

"I had to know if it was possible. Then the kiss happened, and I immediately realized that it wasn't. I could give you this long, drawn-out explanation but the simple fact of the matter is it didn't make me feel anything. Because as much as I care about her, Toni isn't you, Hales. No one will ever be you," Nathan declared and cupped her cheek. "And I wasn't the one Toni wanted either."

Haley frowned and whispered, "What?"

"I'm assuming you left as soon as you saw us." Nathan wished Haley had confronted them right then and there. Then this whole situation probably wouldn't have escalated like it did. Haley was always so strong and fiery. The simple fact that she hadn't flipped out and demanded answers showed how devastated she must have been.

Haley bit her lip and fiddled with the ring on her pinkie finger. The image of Nathan with Toni popped into her head for the hundredth, rattling her. "I'd seen enough. It wasn't exactly something I wanted to stick around for."

"Well, if you'd stayed, you would've seen me pull away and then Toni bursting into tears," Nathan said. "I know you think she has some sort of crush on me, but it's not the case. The truth is she likes someone else, and she was upset about him like I was about you."

"Who is it?"

"That's not important. What is important is that we both realized it was a mistake and that we're just friends."

"I was going there that day because I'd made a decision about something, and I wanted to figure out how to tell you," she said after a few minutes. "Jake convinced me that Kara was probably just being a gossip. He said I should give you a chance to explain, and I agreed with him."

Guilt started to form in the pit of Nathan's stomach. Now that he knew the truth about Haley and Jake, and that Jake had initially defended him, Nathan felt like a complete ass for picking a fight with him. No wonder Lucas was so pissed. Nathan really had made a big mess of things. When they did finally get out of this God forsaken shed, Nathan vowed to repair the rift that currently segregated their group.

"The whole incident actually got me thinking about us," Haley continued. "Camp is almost over. Either we part ways for good or we try again. When it came down to it, the thought of losing you completely made me sick. That's when I decided that I would forgo Stanford and go to Duke instead-even if I had to wait for the spring semester to start."

Utterly taken aback, Nathan's eyes widened. "What?" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You want to go to Duke?"

"I really thought I did. Then I saw the kiss and...you know the rest." She shrugged.

"So now you don't want to go?"

"I don't know," Haley sighed. "It's...complicated."

"Hales," he said seriously. "Why did you want me to go to Duke so badly? You said before that the reason we broke up was because it was too much. That I...loved you too much." Nathan let out a bitter laugh. "Dan is a real bastard, but he was right. I never thought I'd ever say that." At the confused look she sent him, Nathan added, "He said you probably left me, because I'd suffocated you."

A spark flared in Haley's eyes. It was the first sign of emotion he'd seen in her since arguing about the kiss. "Don't you ever say that again," Haley ordered. "Don't you dare even think that."

"It's the truth, Hales."

"No, it's not. It was never about you loving me too much, Nathan. As cheesy as it may sound, that was one of the things I loved most about you," Haley explained. "You keep saying how I helped you survive Dan, but you also protected me from him. You took that abuse from him every day when all you had to do was break up with me. All of it you took onto yourself just so you could be with me. That meant so much to me, and I was so proud you. I'm still proud of you for continuing to stand up to him."

"I'd do it all again if I had to," Nathan declared and brushed his thumb across her cheek. "I'd do anything for you."

"I know that." She placed her hand over his. "And that's exactly why I broke up with you."

"What?" He was utterly lost.

"Please don't get mad at me and just let me explain this." Haley took a moment to find the right words. Even now she was fearful of how he'd react. "When I said I was scared of us, what I meant was the affect we have on each other. I know that I've had an influence on you. You said that you're a better man for knowing me, and maybe that's true. Personally, I think you were ready for a change and felt like you could do that with me."

He began to protest, but she shushed him. "Maybe it was a little bit of both, but that's besides the point. What I'm trying to get at is I didn't want you to sacrifice Duke for me. You can praise Stanford all you want, but I know you, Nathan Scott. Duke is where your heart is. I mean, becoming a Duke Blue Devil was listed as your dream in the yearbook-"

"Hales, we had to write those at the beginning of the year."

"I know that, but that doesn't make it any less true. I was afraid that the way you feel about me was taking precedence over your dream."

"It was."

"But don't you see how wrong that is!" Haley implored. "As much as I would love you to come with me, I couldn't be that selfish. Nathan, I could never forgive myself if I robbed you of the opportunity of a lifetime."

"It was my decision, Haley," Nathan pointed out.

"I realize that, and I'm sorry that you feel like I didn't want to support you. Like I said, I completely panicked. We're still young, and I just was so scared that the love holding us together would eventually turn to bitterness. That was too much to bear. And it hurts me to think that you feel you're not good enough for me. That I broke up with you because of your family or because you think you're not smart enough. Dan put that crap in your head, but I've never believed it for a second. Not one second, and neither should you."

Nathan rested his forehead against hers. "I know. I've got issues."

"Who doesn't?" she replied and gave him a small, encouraging smile. "I'll admit that I was being stubborn. I knew how much it would hurt to let you go, but that didn't matter as long as you got what you really wanted. And like I said, I knew it was the wrong thing as soon as the words left my mouth. Everything just escalated from there."

"I wasn't exactly making it easy on you either," Nathan admitted. "I was pretty stubborn, too. I'm sorry I wouldn't listen to you. I guess if the tables were turned, I wouldn't want you giving up Stanford for me. I still don't."

"Thank you for understanding. But like you said, it would be my decision. I have every right to make mine like you did yours."

"You can't put your life on hold for me, Haley. Giving up school for a semester, that's not you."

She nodded, agreeing with him. It was crazy how quickly plans could change. Mere days ago, Haley had been so sure Duke was the right course of action. Now that they'd gotten most of their issues out in the open, it seemed like the answer to all of their problems should be easy. But the harsh reality of the situation was that there was no clear choice. No right and wrong. They could choose one path or the other, but the consequences would be inevitable and not without sacrifice.

"You still want to go to Stanford, don't you?"

"Yes, I do," Haley said honestly. "Do you want Duke?"

"Yes," Nathan answered. "But I also want you. I've missed you, Hales."

"I've missed you, too."

He brushed his nose against hers and leaned in. This time, Haley did kiss back. Nathan's arms wrapped around her as their mouths met in a gentle caress. It felt so good to be kissing Nathan again. Haley wanted to get lost in him.

Quickly the kiss intensified, and soon they were tripping over boxes. They knocked over a rack of volleyballs before he had her up against the wall. Haley moaned as her back hit the hard surface. Nathan's lips explored her neck while she ran her hands over his broad shoulders and through his hair. She could feel him everywhere. She wanted him everywhere.

Nathan savored the feeling of being so close to Haley. His hands slid down her curves and cupped her thighs. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around him. He groaned into her mouth when every single part of her was pressed against him. As Haley's tongue teased his lips, her hand slid under his shirt to trace the outline of his muscles. Nathan responded by kissing a trail down her neck, focusing on the spot that would have her calling out his name. He'd never felt the need to make her his more than he did in that moment.

Haley wanted to lose control. She knew how easy it would be. There was nothing she wanted more than to give herself to Nathan. To finally feel like she had a claim on him. They'd shared many stolen moments this summer, and each time Haley was content in pretending that nothing could touch them. Locked in this shed, completely cut off from the outside world, she was tempted to embrace the illusion. They'd finally talked and gotten everything out in the open. Haley so badly wanted to believe that they were free from all the misunderstandings and pain. And yet, as Nathan kissed her like he never wanted to let her go, Haley couldn't help the odd, nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right.

"You never did answer my question," Haley muttered in between kisses.

"What was that?" He was vaguely aware of her speaking. Nathan was much too distracted by the softness of her lips and the intimacy of her bare legs brushing against his torso where his shirt had ridden up.

"Would you have told me about the kiss?"

"What kiss?' he asked absently.

Haley's next words were nearly lost when she felt Nathan slide the strap of her shirt aside to kiss her shoulder. His lips glided along her collarbone before traveling farther down still. "If I hadn't seen you kissing Toni, would you have told me about it?" she blurted out.

It felt like an ice cold bucket of water had been thrown on Nathan, and instantly he stiffened. Desperately he pushed through the fog in his mind, trying to understand what she wanted. "Hales," he said tentatively. "I told you it meant nothing."

"A kiss always means something." She gestured between them, as if to prove a point. "And that's not an answer."

Sensing the change in mood, Nathan released Haley and took a step back. "What's the matter? I thought we cleared this up."

"No. We're doing what we always do. We get caught up in each other and ignore the problem."

"What is the problem? I love you. You love me. That's it."

"No, that's not it, Nathan," Haley exclaimed, running her hand through her hair. "I'm glad that kiss solved all your problems, but it didn't solve mine." She wanted to let it go. She really did. But sometimes the heart just isn't ready. Sometimes you can't force the pieces back together no matter how hard you try. "I don't think I can do this. You really hurt me, Nathan."

"I didn't know you were there," he reminded her.

"That doesn't automatically make it okay. And because you keep saying that, I'm assuming you had no intention of telling me either."

"What difference does it make?" he exclaimed.

"The difference is that seeing you kiss Toni was pretty much my worst nightmare. Because it didn't look innocent at the time. And it concerns me that you would have kept something like that from me just to what, spare my feelings?"

"Like you spared my feelings with Jake?"

"I would've had to tell you at some point, because you would've seen the movie for yourself. But I didn't choose to kiss Jake. You chose to kiss Toni," Haley explained.

"You're being ridiculous."

"Maybe so, but I can't just forget it." Haley believed Nathan when he said that it had been a mistake. She could see how much he regretted it. But that didn't erase it. Nathan said the kiss had been a test to see if he wanted to move on. While Haley's head understood that, she just couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal in her heart. "I'm not ready. I need time to process this."

"And what I hear is that you don't trust me."

"I trust that you love me. I do. But we have been at complete odds this summer, Nathan. You can't deny that."

"We were at odds because of something you started," Nathan accused.

"And you sure as hell have finished it," Haley snapped back.

"Maybe I don't trust you. Have you ever thought of that? Look at you. You're making up any excuse you can to push me away. What the hell are you so afraid of?"

"Why do you have to do that? Why do you have to turn on me like that? I have a right to be upset, Nathan," Haley argued. "And maybe I am afraid, but can you blame me? You're like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute you're all over me and the next you're cursing me when things don't go your way."

"Says the girl who keeps telling me she didn't mean to hurt me but then ends up doing it anyway," Nathan countered. He blew out a frustrated breath. They were literally going round in circles and would keep doing this dance until one of them chose to break the cycle. "Maybe you're right," he said after a few minutes of silence.

Haley was beyond tears at this point. Every fiber of her being felt drained. Maybe it was the heat. Maybe it was being cooped up in this tiny space for so long. Maybe it was the boy in front of her, who she both loved and feared more than anything. His next words would either comfort her or break her. There was no escape, and there was no turning back.

"Whether we like it or not, we've both changed this summer. You said you didn't want to lose me without a fight. Well, we've fought and...sometimes there's no changing back. It doesn't matter what college we go to. That's not the problem," Nathan stated. "We just want different things." He thought of what Whitey had said in the locker room about him and Camilla. Despite the love he and Haley shared, it was idealistically naive to think that they could pick up right where they'd left off. It was time to accept the reality of the situation. "We shouldn't force this. We've grown apart and that's just how it is."

"Nathan-" Haley tried to interrupt.

"I don't want to hurt you, Hales, and I know deep down you don't want to hurt me." Nathan reached out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. He ignored the little voice in the back of his mind, whispering that this might be the last time he'd touch her. "We had something special, and nothing can erase that. I'll always love you. You know that. But I just can't do this anymore. Truth is, I'm hurting, too. I think it's time we stop hiding from that and accept that it's best that we both just let go."

Haley placed her hand over his on her cheek. "I can respect that," she said, offering him a weak smile and fighting back the urge to beg him to reconsider. Haley couldn't ask that of Nathan. She'd done everything she could this summer to get through to him. They weren't living in a fairytale. Both their actions had had consequences. Sometimes a happy ending just isn't possible. "I'll always love you, too." She leaned up to place a soft, lingering kiss on his lips.

There was no mistaking its finality. Nathan's hand tightened on her face before releasing her. Their gazes held as they drank each other in, trying to commit as much of the other to memory. They were so focused on each other that neither heard the sound of the key in the lock or the door opening. It wasn't until someone squealed loudly that they broke out of their trance.

"I told you it would work!" Brooke was beaming next to a hopeful Lucas. "So, how's our favorite couple doing?"

The stands were filled with people. Way more than Haley had expected. She should have been shaking from her nerves. Haley would've thought it impossible to get rid of the butterflies. That was until thirty minutes ago when she realized public humiliation wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her.

"Haley, there you are!" Chris exclaimed, practically pushing people out of the way to get to her. "What the hell happened to you? You have to sing in a few minutes."

"Sorry," Haley apologized as he led her to where the band was stationed. "I had to change." She hadn't had much time to get ready. It also didn't help that her mind was elsewhere. It felt like the longest day of her life, and it wasn't close to being over yet.

The crowd settled as Whitey walked to the center of the basketball court. With the microphone in his hand, he welcomed the families and friends in attendance.

"Well, you do look hot," Chris whispered in approval. "So I can't really yell at you. Are you ready?"

"Yes," Haley stated, surprising herself that she meant it.

"Good. Because you'd still have to do this if you weren't."

"Gee, thanks," she muttered.

"I'm just saying that you're more capable than you give yourself credit for."

The corner of her mouth lifted. "Wow, did Chris Keller actually give me a compliment?"

"Maybe," Chris answered, trying to downplay it.

"Thanks for helping me practice," Haley said to him. He drove her absolutely crazy, but Chris knew what he was doing. If he hadn't pushed her, she never would be standing here ready to perform in front of hundreds of people.

"Yeah, well, don't let it go to your head," he mildly scolded. "You haven't actually gotten out there yet."

There was applause as Whitey introduced the two teams. They sauntered onto the court, basking in the attention and waving at the crowd. Haley allowed herself only a momentary glance before looking back to Whitey. She had to get her own head in the game, so to speak.

"Are you okay?" said a voice next to her. It was Jake. He had his guitar, ready to play with the band. The look in his eyes said everything. He knew about the setup and was sorry for the way things had turned out. Glancing to make sure Chris wasn't listening-he was too busy threatening the band with bodily harm if they screwed up-he said softly to Haley, "If you don't want to do this, you don't have to. Never mind what Chris says. I'll do it for you."

"Thanks, Jake," Haley replied sincerely, letting him know it was for more than just his offer. "But I can do this." It was the first of many times she would be out of her comfort zone. She would embrace the change, for once, without trepidation.

He nudged her arm. "You're gonna be great."

"And now singing our National Anthem, Miss Haley James," Whitey announced.

Taking a deep, calming breath, Haley brushed a hand over her dress and walked toward Whitey. She smiled as he handed her the microphone. There was a moment of complete silence. Every eye in the place must be on her, but only one pair could make her weak in the knees. She could feel his stare as strongly as the sun shining down from the sky. Haley was tempted to glance over at the sidelines once more but looked to her friends in the bleachers instead. They were no doubt worried about her. She smiled, letting them know she was all right.

Upon Chris's signal, the band played the intro. Haley raised the microphone. Unlike her nightmares, she didn't freeze or lose her voice. The lyrics flowed smoothly from her lips in a steady, melodic stream. She felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes. She'd been burned but not defeated. She had lost a lot, but not everything. This was her moment, her test. She'd sunk to the lowest of the lows this summer. This time, Haley would let herself fly.

The locker room was bursting with excitement when Nathan entered. The team was dressed and huddled in groups boasting about how they were going to kick some serious ass today. Toni was among them. Nathan noticed her sneaking peeks at Quentin, who was trash talking with the best of them. When she spotted him, she hurried over.

"Hey, where have you been?" Toni asked. She must have seen something in his face because she added, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just got caught up."

"You're sure."

Nathan had a lot to talk to her about, but now was definitely not the time. "Yes. You ready for this game?"

She quickly glanced at Quentin before forcing a smile. "As I'll ever be."

"You've got this," he encouraged. It wasn't like Toni to be so nervous. She was as fearless as they came.

Toni gave him a small smile and nodded in return. "Thanks, Nate."

"Everyone, gather round," Bobby called.

Before he could join the group, Nathan felt a hand on his shoulder. Lucas scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I know we haven't gotten a chance to talk, and now isn't the ideal time. But I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

It didn't take long for either Brooke or Lucas to sense the somber vibe in the shed. It was one of the only times Nathan had ever seen Brooke utterly defeated and speechless. Before they had a chance to recover, Nathan had left. He needed some time before the game to get his head on straight. Judging by the guilty look on Lucas's face, Haley must've filled them in on their decision.

"I was fully ready to kill you this morning," Nathan revealed. "But I understand why you did it. I know your hearts were in the right place."

"We just want you guys to be happy."

"We needed to talk, and we did," Nathan assured him.

"We'd hoped that..." Lucas shook his head and said, "I'm sorry I've been so hard on you. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. No judgment."

"I don't want to put you in the middle, Luke."

"I know that. But just because I'm Haley's best friend doesn't mean I stop being your brother."

"Thanks, Luke." His brother's words meant a lot. Nathan held out his fist, which Lucas bumped in return.

"I hate to interrupt the bromancing obviously going on over there," Bobby shouted to them, "but there's a championship game about to be played. I need my assistant coaches."

There were a few snickers as Nathan and Lucas entered the huddle. A glare from Bobby quickly put an end to that. Eying the circle, he reminded the team of how hard they'd worked and far they'd come. Win or lose, they would do this together. But with clear eyes and full hearts, they couldn't lose.

"Isn't that saying from some football show?" one of the guys spoke up.

"We're not playing football," Quentin said, stating the obvious.

Toni rolled her eyes. "I don't think that's the point."

"I'm pretty sure it's from a show. What was it called again?"

"Thompson, are you a copyright lawyer or what? Shut up before I bench you," Bobby ordered, wanting to get them back on track. "Guys, it doesn't matter where it's from or what sport. It applies to anything and everything. Hands in."

Whitey's voice sounded through the speakers in the locker room a second later. They did a quick cheer and headed outside when they were announced. The applause was instant. Quentin, in particular, was eating it up. Let them enjoy it, Nathan thought. It always served to amp him up before a game.

They took their place on the sidelines. Of their own accord, Nathan's eyes scanned the crowd. He found the band almost immediately. Sure enough, Haley was standing off to the side of them. She was whispering something to Jake. This morning Nathan would've been enraged by the sight. There was still a little twinge in his gut, but he'd managed to let most of his hard feelings go. Before he could think on it further, Whitey introduced Haley.

She walked gracefully to the center of the court and took his place. Nathan expected her to fidget slightly or bite her lip but saw none of her usual nervous habits. Before Haley even opened her mouth, he knew she had this.

"She looks beautiful," Toni commented from next to him.

"Yes, she does," Lucas said, standing on his other side.

Nathan, not trusting his voice, couldn't agree more but remained silent. Haley's hair was pulled back partially from her face. She wore a simple, elegant white dress with heels. Most of her makeup was natural except for her red lipstick.

Like everyone else, Nathan was mesmerized. He'd seen Haley sing before but never like this. For once she was in the spotlight not because of some rumor or connection to him, but her own amazing, God-given talent. He would always be proud of her in this moment, regardless of what happened between them.

When she finally finished, the crowd cheered her flawless performance. Haley smiled and waved, shyly nodding her head in thanks. She was truly in her element, and Nathan knew for sure that he'd made the right decision. He couldn't let Haley give up her future for him any more than she could let him do it for her. They both deserved to follow their dreams and experience all that life had to offer. Putting others' needs before your own, despite the cost, Nathan figured was what being an adult was all about. It wasn't called growing pains for nothing.