Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Fruits Basket; Natsuki Takaya does. The character Mikage Tamae, however, is my own creation although in hindsight I would have given her a different family name.

Chapter 24

"Mikage-san, it's good to see you again."

Tamae bowed to the smiling man. "Thank you, Nakagawa-sensei. I'm happy that you've been so pleased with my progress."

The older man was smiling; he was obviously excited. "I have some exciting news for you, Mikage-san. You have received your results from your Master's exams?"

"Hai, sensei." Despite her tumultuous personal life, she had received near-top scores. She had been afraid they would be far lower.

"You received the top scores in your field of study and caught the attention of some very prestigious universities overseas."

"I have?"

"Hai. I'm pleased to tell you that Oxford University in Great Britain has invited you to study with them, if you so desire. A high honor, if I may say so. Also, several universities in the U.S. have extended invitations."

"I'm…overwhelmed, sensei." Tamae blinked back shock.

"I understand that you had some very…difficult personal issues during your time here, and I can't tell you how pleased I am that you have overcome them."

Tamae bit back a laugh. Personal issues? I'm still having them! "Arigatou, sensei. I'm glad to be able to put them behind me."

"These universities are looking forward to your replies." The counselor coughed discreetly. "Their doctorate programs will begin in three months."

"I understand. I will have to take a little time to consider my options, sensei." She bowed again.

"Not too much time, Mikage-san. Congratulations!"

"Arigatou, sensei." Even as she bowed and said her goodbyes, her mind was spinning. Doctorate studies! She hadn't even considered them. Her relationship with Shigure had…chilled…lately. He'd been distant and almost callous, often breaking dates with her and almost ignoring her when she went to see him. She wasn't sure how she would tell him this news, or how he would react to them. Would he push her out the door, with no more than a 'good luck and goodbye'? But first, she had to tell her parents. They would be so pleased!

If only she were as sure of Shigure's reaction.

"Mika-chan! I'm very happy to see you again!" Tohru greeted her warmly.

"Ohayo, Tohru-kun!" Tamae had taken to calling her by Shigure's tongue-in-cheek familiarity. "How is everything?"

"Very good! And how is Mika-chan?" Tamae smiled and they continued to exchange pleasantries. The two had become good friends since they had talked in the library.

"Is Shigure here? I have some news," Tamae said vaguely, glancing about her.

"Oh, he had to go to the Honke with Hatori-san, but I think he will be back soon."

"I see…" Tamae saddened. "Is it all right if I wait here?"

"Of course!" the smaller girl smiled. "I'll just make some tea!"

"That's all right, Tohru-kun. I'll just wait in his study. Catch up on my reading." Tamae smiled. "I don't want to interrupt you work too much." She wandered into the small room, looking with disgust at the mess he'd made of his desk. No, she wouldn't touch that. Wouldn't want to cause an avalanche. As she glanced around, her gaze fell on some familiar-looking books on one of the top shelves. She wandered to it, wondering, until she realized that it was the box she had made so very long ago to hide the scroll Isuzu-chan had entrusted her with.

Wondering, she pulled it down from the shelf and opened it. The scroll was still there, wrapped in its fabric. Beside it, though, was a thick roll of thoroughly modern paper. She pulled it out and began to read it.

"You're back, Shigure-san, Hatori-san!" Tohru greeted the two men, smiling. "I didn't expect you back so soon!"

"Ah, Tohru-kun, you're just what I needed after that cold visit, a pretty flower to light up my gloom!" Shigure replied, smiling mischievously. Hatori looked pained.

"Hatori-san, would you like some tea?"

"Hai, Tohru-kun. Arigatou." He smiled at the younger woman. Tohru turned to the kitchen, then turned back.

"Oh! Shigure-san, you have a guest!" she looked a little nervously at Hatori. "She's in the study."

"In the study? Who…" Shigure wondered, then perked. "Ah, my other flower! Aren't you jealous, Ha-san? I have two beautiful flowers to serve me!"

"Serve you? Who?" Hatori raised an eyebrow at his cousin, but Shigure only waved a hand at him as he made his way to his study.

"Please keep Tohru-kun company, Ha-san!" Shigure winked at the doctor before he turned away completely, his features settling into the bored mask he'd adopted since that last interview with Akito. If he pushed her enough, would he be able to break her heart before what Akito desired came to pass? Even speaking to her on the phone, he could sense how each of his rejections had pained her, causing her confidence to crumble that much more. He couldn't look at her when she came to visit for that very reason: he didn't want to see what it was doing to her. He didn't want to see her face, because he knew that if he did, he would also hurt. He paused for a moment before he slid open the door.

She was sitting on the floor, that old book-box beside her. In her hands, she had a thick sheaf of paper; from the look of it, she'd almost finished reading its contents. Her face wore an expression of pity. With one hand, she brushed at her eye, and turned another page.

"Tamae! This is a surprise." He slid the door closed behind him, his voice sounding bored. She jerked and looked at him.

"Shigure. I thought you said you lost it." She wasn't accusing him. If anything, she sounded sad.

"I said I'd misplaced it. I simply didn't tell you I'd found it again." He looked at the papers she held. "Did you enjoy your little trip down memory lane?"

"Not as much as I thought I would." She straightened slowly. She carefully rolled the papers back into shape and placed them in the box, then replaced it on its shelf. Her hands trailed across it for a second. "It's such a shabby thing, isn't it?"

Shigure didn't answer. From the moment he'd seen her face, his heart had been pounding in his chest. She looked…thinner. Yes. She'd been under so much stress from her exams, and he hadn't helped her burden with the distance he'd deliberately placed between them. She sighed and looked at him again.

"You really were a villain back then."

"Was I?"

"Hai. And you wouldn't stop touching me. Very odd." She placed her hand on her left cheek and smiled. "Of course, I wouldn't ever have admitted to liking it."

"Did you? You were a prickly one."

"Hmmm." She let him slide a hand down her hair, not looking at him.

"We should go back outside," Shigure said quietly. He couldn't touch her and not want. "Ha-san is here."

"I see." She pulled away from him and he led her from the room.

"Mikage-san." Hatori said by way of greeting. His expression was severe. "I hadn't realized you were still associating with this jellyfish."

"Oh, he has his good points," she replied, settling herself. "He helped me get my first novel published, after all."

"Did he?" Hatori raised an eyebrow at the inu, who was innocently sipping the tea Tohru had thoughtfully placed before him. "That's unlike him."

"So he told me. I guess I won him over with my charm," she smiled. Hatori would never know how nervous he made her. "As it is, I received my test scores and wanted to tell him."

"Oh?"

"Hai. He may no longer be my mentor, but I consider him a friend. I scored top in my field of study." She sensed Shigure's smile as Tohru exclaimed. Hatori's lips curved slightly.

"Congratulations."

"Arigatou. My parents are very pleased."

"As they should be!" Shigure's voice was also proud. "To think of how you were so long ago…and now, here you are, possessor of a master's degree and a published novelist!" He placed a hand on his heart. "I can be glad that you are grateful to me, who guided you through so much."

"Hm. Yes, I am grateful to you, Shigure-san." Tamae switched to her former address of him. This deception had become almost second nature to her. That sometimes alarmed her. "But then, how could I ignore you when you wouldn't leave me alone? Rather like an annoying insect you were, constantly buzzing about." She mimicked him. "'Tamae, what classes are you taking? Oh, this is too much! Tamae, have I shown you my latest draft?'" To her relief, Hatori chuckled.

"That sounds like him."

"I have…other news, too." She didn't look at Shigure. "I have been offered opportunities for doctorate studies at several universities overseas. I've been given the impression that they are all eager to have me."

Silence. Tamae stared at her hands, wrapped around her teacup for dear life. She didn't look at him. Tohru let out a startled gasp, her eyes darting towards Hatori and then to Shigure, who sat very still, his face blank. Hatori considered the tableau, looking from the young woman who sat with her hands so tense the bones were showing, to Tohru's distressed expression, to Shigure's lack of reaction-when he should have been the first to congratulate her.

"You should take it." Hatori sipped his tea, filling that awful gap. "It would be a good opportunity for you. Get you out of here, experience another part of the world."

"But—" Tohru gasped, only to be silenced by Hatori's quick head-shake. "That's a wonderful chance for you, Mika-chan!" Even as she said it, her eyes glanced at the other man, who was sipping his tea with his characteristic nonchalance. He said nothing.

"I haven't decided yet…" Tamae said quietly. "I never considered doctorate studies. I haven't really considered anything about what I wanted after graduating." She laughed, a bit embarrassed. "I just liked going to school, I suppose. But it is a wonderful opportunity for me, and a high compliment."

Shigure considered her over the rim of his teacup. When she'd laid that bombshell, he'd felt like his heart had iced over. And she hadn't looked at him at all. Not once, this whole time, had she even glanced his way. Was she afraid? Was she excited? Did she want to go?

Don't leave me, that tiny voice, the one he had so steadfastly ignored, began to grow louder and louder. He deliberately relaxed, closing his eyes and pretending to savor his now-tasteless tea, willing that voice into the back of his mind. Look at me! What are you thinking? What do you want? Look at me! He stared at her so intensely out of that relaxed, carefree expression that, sensing it, her shoulders hunched slightly. Yet she still refused to look at him. She addressed Hatori and Tohru, conversing with them pleasantly until the two took their leave, Hatori offering Tohru a ride home. When they left, Hatori looked significantly at Shigure. 'Don't do anything stupid,' the look said.

Shigure sighed when he heard the door close behind them. "What are you going to do?" he asked her.

"I said I haven't decided yet. I think…there's something else I have to do before I can decide."

"Oh?"

"Hai." For the first time since they'd joined the other two after exiting the study, she looked at him. Her eyes were sad, and weary, and scared. "I guess you never meant for me to find that box again. Why didn't you throw it out?"

"Sentimental value, I suppose. Besides, it is rather clever. Did you finish reading those papers?"

Tamae laughed. "My bad habit. I always have to read the ending before I get to the end."

Shigure's heart began to pound.

"What a sad little person I was," she continued. "I was so lonely before that. Did you know? I just didn't really get along with people. I kind of blended in so well that no one noticed me. Even when test scores were released in high school, people would say 'Mikage? Who's that?'. And then there was Isuzu-chan, who everybody noticed but who seemed to not want to be noticed at all." She smiled, a trifle self-deprecatingly.

"I wanted to be her friend because I wondered why anyone who looked and held herself the way she did would want to be like that. I don't know. Maybe it was for me, too. Maybe if I became friends with her, people would also notice me." She shrugged. "Either way, that's not what happened. But who was that girl? The one who wanted to throw herself to the wolves so easily?" she asked quietly, wondering. Then she looked at him again.

"You were right, did you realize? When you told me that I chose to have my memories blocked. You were so right, and I didn't want to admit it. I hated you for saying that. I hated everything about the Sohmas right then. Even as much as I loved you and Isuzu-chan, I hated me for putting myself in that position. And I hated you for making me face it. And I hated Isuzu-chan for being the way that she was, and—" she broke off, moving her hand in a short, cutting motion.

"I know," he said.

"And then, you started pulling away. I figured that was that, you know? You've given up. It's over. It's not me who can't take it, it's you. But that's not true, either. Shigure," she looked directly at him, "before I decide, there's something I need to know and if you're not going to tell me—"

The pounding in his heart threatened to drown out her voice. Don't leave me, don't! Don't say it! Not again!

"—I'm going to have to get the answer from someone else."

"What are you saying?" his voice came out cool. Tamae didn't flinch, but her eyes darkened to the color of smoke.

"I have to see Akito-sama."