D. Gray-man © Katsura Hoshino

I sat on the roof, knees to my chest, hands clamped over my ears, though the cracks of bones penetrated through my palms. Finally, it stopped and I dared to remove my hands, listening intently.

From inside the room, a door opened. There was a thud and the door closed again. Sheryl's voice came loud and clear, no emotion to be detected: "That felt nice. You might want to get dressed quickly, Brother. I'll inform the Earl, and then we must leave quickly."

Tyki sighed deeply. "Right…" he said. Another door opened and closed, and then it was silent inside the room. Tyki was finally alone. I flipped down onto the balcony and watched as Tyki stood, pulling on his boxers. He paused when he noticed my winged shadow behind him, standing in the doorway. The beautiful man looked over his shoulder, cigarette in his mouth. The moment our eyes met, he let out a small gasp.

When he turned to face me, I saw his chest – the scars that marred the right side of his body. There was a cross-shaped scar across his perfect torso. At the sight of it, I thought of Allen, but quickly shook that thought away. For a long while, neither of us said a word, just stared into the other's eyes. I was trembling with rage, giving him a full glare. Could he see how close to tears I was? I wasn't going to cry because I was heartbroken. I wasn't going to cry because I was secretly happy to see him again. I was going to cry because anger overwhelmed my whole being. Tyki seemed to be lost for words, torn between pulling me into an embrace and walking right out that door behind his brother in fear of what I was going to do with him.

I folded in my wings and stood firm. Finally he exhaled the smoke of his cigarette and put it out on the nightstand beside him. He shifted his dark eyes to me and studied everything about me as if it was the first time he's seen me in years. It might as well be years for how long he's been gone.

"Oh, Karena…" he finally whispered, making his way over to me.

When he was close enough that I could kick him, I shouted, "Don't come any closer!" He immediately stopped in his tracks. Blood stains on the carpet led to the closet where Sheryl no doubt tossed the body. My fists were clenched so tight, my nails were stabbing into my skin through the thin fabric of my gloves. "What. Did you. Do?" I growled, venom dripping from my words.

"Karena, you have to understand that none of this was my idea. It was all in the name of fun!" He slowly made his way forward. "Don't you understand that-"

"Get away!" I screamed at him. Still, he pulled me into his arms, hushing me softly, stroking my hair. Soon my throat was sore from the scream, and I didn't have the strength to push him away. All I could do was cry into his chest, arms at my side, and repeat, "Get away...Get away…"

My wings disappeared behind me. Tyki gently played with my hair. "Why did you cut your hair, my angel? It was so beautiful." I couldn't answer; my words failed me when I tried. I would never be his angel again. Not after what he did. Not with these wings. When he found that I wouldn't answer, the older man placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I missed the feeling of kisses, missed how welcoming his caresses were.

Using all my power, I managed to pull myself away from his hold. Sniffling, I didn't bother to dry my tears – let them dry on their own! I put on a brave face once more and gestured to the scars on his chest. "Allen Walker. Did he do this to you?" I demanded.

Tyki seemed to think that I was on his side with the question. He nodded, failing to hide that faint smile from me.

"And did you hurt him?" I growled.

Now his eyes narrowed. "Yes. I did. I would have killed him, too, if that General didn't intervene."

Forgetting his ability to go through anything he wanted, I attempted to slap him across the face. He grabbed my wrist before I could make contact. Giving it a tight squeeze, Tyki brought me closer to him, studying my features. "What is your fascination with that boy? I didn't kill him. He scarred me for life. You'll hit me before questioning him?" There was a darkness in his voice that frightened me, but I tried hard not to let it show.

I struggled to pull away from his grasp. "I don't need to question that poor boy about anything! He's my friend; you tried to kill him! You've scarred him in ways deeper than this wound." With my free hand, I shoved him back, pushing hard on the wound.

Tyki inhaled sharply in pain, and suddenly I found myself pinned to the wall by my throat. My airways were cut off; I struggled to find even the smallest breath. My lover's lips brushed against my ear as he hissed, "You know I would never hurt you. But you are trying my patience tonight." His fingers loosened around my neck, allowing me to breathe precious air once again. "I love you, Karena. Don't you understand that?"

I didn't understand much that night. How could Tyki ever possibly love me? If he did, how could I love him like he loved me? Slowly, he released his hold on my neck. His beautiful eyes searched up and down my body before he pulled me into a passionate kiss. I can't recall the last time he ever kissed me in such a way, if ever. It should have been a beautiful moment for us…but I hated him. I hated him for all he was and all he'd done.

Our passion play was cut short by a pounding on the door. It was Sheryl, calling Tyki out, telling him to hurry and that his carriage was outside waiting for him. Tyki shot a glare at the door. "Go on ahead, Brother! I'll be out soon." Then he turned and caught my arm. "Listen," he whispered, "I want to see you again – on better terms. Meet me by the fountain in town square two days from now, and I swear we will talk then." His hand slid down my arm, his eyes showing…sadness? "Please."

But the scars on his chest reminded me of whom he was. The badge on my breast reminded me of who I was. Even if I decided that I loved him with all my heart, no matter what he's done to my friends, it could never be. If we were to run away with each other, we certainly would be hunted down. All Exorcists and Noah would most likely work together to kill us both. I wouldn't be able to hold them off, neither would Tyki.

So maybe I did it for both our sakes, or maybe I was just tired of being fooled by the man who said he loved me. Gently, I pushed away his hand and took a step to the side, closer to the balcony, shaking my head. "No…" I said. "No, Tyki. I don't ever want to see you again." The expression that crossed his felt looked like he'd just been stabbed, just like my heart felt it was being stabbed over and over as I spoke. "I love my family more than anything. I won't…I won't give in to you."

I had to choke out the next words: "I – don't…love you…And the next time we meet, I will kill you."

Tyki grit his teeth, in anger, I think. "Karena…" he started, stepping towards me. But just as he took that step, I spread my gray wings and took flight. I know it was the right thing to do, but I cried anyway.

| – – – – |

Months later, the Order had finally packed everything inside the castle. Allen, Lenalee, Johnny, and Komui should be arriving at our new headquarters soon. From there, Allen would open a new Ark that connected there to here, and that's how we'd move everything. We'd give the Ark a day, and then we would start moving the day after. I still hadn't seen the likes of Tyki Mikk. Sometimes I would daydream of what it would be like the day I would finally see him – would he try to kill me first? Would he attempt to make amends? We haven't seen hide nor hair of any Noah, really. On the upside of things, we all got new uniforms after that battle, too!

The uniforms were black with red trimmings this time. Mine was a long, comfortable coat that reached my ankles. My torso was snugged up underneath the dark fabric of the coat, but my red skirt and black stockings were shown to the public. Black and red leather boots reached up to my knees once again; black, fingerless gloves hugged my hands. I don't know why, but I always liked loose sleeves, and Johnny is always happy to oblige. I think these uniforms are my favorite of them all.

Ah, but I bet you don't care about my attire. You're probably wondering if in the months it took the Black Order to pack and get ready to move, have I spoken to my uncle yet? Sadly, no. He mostly stayed in his room while we all packed. I wasn't allowed inside at all; besides that, I was busy helping out. Every night, I thought of the day we'd all be settled in and I would get to see him, talk to him.

Earlier as I set the suitcase full of my clothes outside my door, I saw him pass by with Komui. Cross and the other generals were going to be staying at the new headquarters while we brought everything over there. I was surprised to know that a building actually existed aside from our castle that could hold as many rooms necessary for the whole organization.

At this point, I stood in my old room, lost in thought. I'd stayed here for many long years. It was almost hard to say goodbye to these stony walls. Touching the wall, I smiled my last goodbyes. It was late, and I'd sleep in here on the floor for the last time. Interrupting my reminiscing, a shadow stood in the doorway. I turned to see Chaoji Han standing there. Smiling, I greeted him warmly. He blushed and stepped into the room.

"H-hello, Karena. Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head. Chaoji was a bit on the chunky side, but that didn't matter, really. As long as he knew how to run, dodge, and fight, he was a worthy Exorcist.

"I'm fine," I assured him, "just saying my last farewell to my room. I'm gonna miss this place." I placed my hand on my hip and scratched my head. "I've been here since I was fifteen." Chaoji also may be shorter than me, but he's older by a year. This is barely his first year as an Exorcist. His Innocence is worn as white gloves, giving him super-human strength.

He was a curious sort and easily amused. "Wow, four years?" he awed.

I nodded. "Yep – going in a few months."

"That's cool, Karena!" he exclaimed, clasping his hands, blush deepening. "Soon, we'll be pretty much the same age. A-and then maybe-"

"Oi!" called Kanda from the doorway, making Chaoji jump nearly out of his skin. "Get back to work. Your work is still not done." The handsome samurai folded his arms across his chest, giving poor Chaoji the glare of a lifetime. The older man bowed quickly to me, apologizing for having to leave so early. I waved it off and shooed him away to his work.

I waited until he was all the way down the hallway to come stand by Kanda and shake my head at him. "You're terrible, Kanda. Can't anybody have a break around here, huh?"

"No," he said simply. "We're moving everything tomorrow and there is still more things to be done."

"Then get back to work, you workaholic!" I exclaimed jokingly. Still, the boy rolled his eyes and strode off down the hall. I watched him go and smiled to myself. Allen should have been arriving at the new Order as I spoke. It was late anyway, so, closing the door behind me, I sat against the corner in the vacant room and soon fell asleep.

…

…I wish I could say what happened next was only a dream. Sometimes I even try to convince myself that, but it never works. The truth is undeniable.

It was even later at night when I woke up. My butt was sore from sleeping sitting up on the hard floor. I exited the room to see the halls were dark. I missed out on the last bit of packing, I guess, and now everyone was asleep. Lighting a candle I found, I headed to the Ark. On the way there, I questioned myself as to why I was heading to the Ark of all places. My mind was hell-bent on finding Cross. I should have waited till morning; I would have if my sleepy feet and hazy mind weren't leading the way.

Stepping through the Ark and into the door marked 3, I saw that this new Order was amazingly huge – and this was just the parlor! Fully awake now, I went in search of Komui. I had no idea where Cross would be, so I thought the Chief would know. The halls were wider than the ones back home. This new building wasn't round shaped like I was used to. It was an actual building, not a castle. Chandeliers hung on the ceilings, lighting my way. A tall window way across the hall showed that it was raining outside. How long was it until I…

Suddenly, I stopped in my tracks. Where…was I going? I didn't know where Komui's office is! I-

Two snoring guards around the corner led me straight to my goal. It was obvious that if they were guarding a door, there was someone of importance in there. The poor fools were sleeping; let them sleep. It must be Komui's office, I figured, so I knocked gently, careful not to wake the guards. I knocked twice and there was no answer. Frowning, I knocked again. Was Komui awake?

Just as I went to reach for the door handle, the door suddenly swung open and a gun was pointed to my head. Inhaling sharply, I flinched away from the barrel pointed at my temple. It wasn't Komui that these men were guarding – it was Cross! The tall man blinked and lowered the gun. "Can I help you?" he asked suspiciously.

"G-general," I said timidly, "may I come in? I'd like to speak to you…"

His brick-colored eyes gave me a long once-over, and then he smirked a bit and allowed me inside. Closing the door behind me, he leaned against the wall and asked, "So, what brings a beautiful woman like you to my quarters this late at night?"

I blushed, both embarrassed and shocked he'd say that. I let out a small chortle. "I don't think that's any way to speak to your niece…" I said awkwardly.

He seemed taken back. "Excuse me?"

Our brown eyes met and the realization sank in, making me frown. "Did you…not know?" I asked, sadness lacing into my voice. "Your brother had a child – m-me! You're my uncle, General! I've been searching for you…my whole life…" Desperation made its way in there, too.

My uncle's eyes grew wide as I spoke. I could tell it finally clicked for him. Yes! After nineteen years, he remembers me!

But when he shook his head, dread filled my gut. Distressed, Cross made his way over to the windowsill and sat down, pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He lit up the cancer stick and took a long inhale before he spoke. "Listen, kid," he said. "I thought you'd have known all this time. What did that idiot do, drop you on your head when he tried to kill ya?"

Not liking where this conversation was going, I sat down in a comfy chair, though at the moment, it felt like sitting on hot rocks. "I…I don't know what happened when he did that. All I remember is him pointing a gun at my head and then everything goes blank."

Cross exhaled smoke once more. "No wonder. I'm surprised you're even alive, kid…"

"What do you mean, uncle? What are you trying to say to me? Just come out with it!" I snapped, my voice cracking with fear and anticipation.

The handsome general gave me a stern look. "I'm saying that wasn't really your father raising you all those years." He didn't even pause for dramatic effect or to brace me. "I'm saying that man that tried to kill you was a modified Akuma that I made a long ass time ago."