James opened his mouth to take a large bite out of an overstuffed filled éclair. He was just about to sink his teeth right into it. He was just about to wrap his lips around it. Quicker than a snitch, it was stolen right out of his hands and into the mouth of Sirius Black.
"Blimey mate, you act as you haven't eaten at all," James looked at his friend in amazement as Sirius stuffed the whole éclair into his mouth. Padfoot's cheeks were swollen with the pastry.
"Et ez ast ouwne," Sirius replied.
"Come again?" James eyebrows lift up with his question.
Sirius raised a finger in the air to indicate 'one minute' as he chewed a bit more and swallowed a large block of dough. "It was the last one, I said."
"Sure enough," James agreed. "Remus had two. Peter had one and you had three. Who had the last one? I did, that is who. But only for a moment when it was suddenly taken from my very own mouth and now I had none at all while you had four." James held up four fingers.
"Don't whine about it," Sirius grinned with a trace of demonic madness at his friend. He pushed James' hand down. "You have more than most as it is; why not experience the feeling of going without for once?"
"Because I don't wish to do so," James stood quickly.
"Oi? Where are you going?" Remus watched James take his cloak out of the foot trunk. "Are you going to wander the halls without us?"
"Only to the kitchens," James explained. "Going to get some more éclairs for myself to enjoy."
"Lies," Sirius told them as James walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. "It's a lie. An excuse."
"No, Peter shook his head. "I really think he's going to the kitchen."
Remus shook his head, a mimic gesture of Peter's own. "No, I think Sirius is correct this one time."
"What do you mean, 'this one time'? I've been right more times than just once," Sirius huffed.
"Where's the proof?" Remus grinned, ignoring Sirius and looked at Peter. "Tonight is Lily's turn to patrol for perfect duty."
"You're not patrolling with her?" Peter frowned.
"No," Remus gathered some of the sweets up, putting them in a pile on his lap. "We must work together, no matter which house we are in…well that is what we are told. Gryffindors never work with Slytherins. It proves to be too violent. Lily is patrolling with Hufflepuff tonight. Sean Dunskiper."
"Oh, he's that really tall lad?" Peter stretched his arm to indicate a height.
"Put your hand down," Sirius threw a chocolate covered roach at him. "You're short enough that everyone is tall. Dunskiper is the one with that weird hiccup laugh."
"Oh, yeah!" Peter eyes beamed brightly as he picked the chocolate apart. "That is who I thought it was and yeah, he's taller than you. James is going to get more points taken from us," Peter told them. "He never stays hidden when Lily is about, does he? Needs to make an appearance for her whether she wants it or not."
"I don't know about that, Pete." Sirius reached for a cup of berries. "If you recall last week, she sent him straight to bed but hadn't taken points from him. I'm thinking that we are witnessing a slow start to a nervous breakdown in Evans."
"Or maybe James has finally made the right impression on her?" Remus offered.
"I should hope not!" Sirius pointed his fork in Remus' direction, "A nervous breakdown is far more interesting than love sprouting."
"Hey let us start the Broadcasting bit?" Peter put the letters on a pile on the floor. "James shouldn't be long, so we probably won't miss anything."
"No. It is best that we wait for him," Remus sorted through the letters. "But why don't you tell your story of that wand, Pete? We haven't heard your tale about it."
"Oh…" Peter looked down at his wand with a slight frown. "I'm afraid it isn't interesting at all."
"I am interested in your story, Wormy." Remus assured him.
"Well…," Peter shrugged, "I suppose but James would miss the story."
"We wouldn't want that!" Sirius mocked.
"He shouldn't be long, Peter." Remus encouraged the boy.
Peter looked over at Sirius for his input, which is not always the best thing to do. Out of all the Marauders, Sirius didn't seem as fond of Peter as the others…but that how Peter thought.
"You best do it now," Sirius told him. "Can't go doing it later, can we? I need time to tell my tale and I can't say it is as interesting as James or Remus' either but I am going to have my tale as well."
"I suppose," Peter huffed. He picked up his wand that he had laid at his side on the floor. "Nothing special…um, all the same, I wish to wait for James."
"Fine." Sirius rolled his grey eyes. "But I will have you know that I'm not liking it."
"We can wait." Remus spread out the owls they received. "We do have a lot of owls and I suppose we should answer them before the stack grows even more."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Fifteen minutes later Sirius lay sprawled across his bed with one leg braced against the other as he tapped his wand against his shoe. "I don't think he's coming back."
"He has nowhere else to go," Remus said as he flipped a page on his book. "He'll be back."
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Twenty minutes later, Peter rolled over in his bed, falling to the floor. It would have been quite amusing if it didn't seem rehearsed. "I think Sirius is right, I don't think he's coming back."
"He will be back," Remus said once again.
"Er…maybe we should look for him?" Sirius scrambled out of his bed. "Who's got the map?"
"Prongs," Remus answered without taking his eyes off his beloved book.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Forty minutes later, Remus put his book down. "Obviously he must have gotten into some sort of trouble if he isn't back by now!"
"I say we scurry down into the Slytherin pit, blast the lot…minus one. We shall be needing one to torture." Sirius headed for the door with a purpose in mind and a wand in hand but Remus stopped him by tossing his book at Black's head.
"I cannot believe you done that!" Peter whispered in shock. "Your book!"
"I-I d-don't know what came over me," Remus bent down next to his book and slowly scooped it up in his arms. He carefully examined it for injuries. "I think it will be okay."
"That's good," Peter sighed in relief. Remus and no book was not a good thing.
"What about my bloody head!" Sirius asked rubbing the knot that was forming at the back of his head.
"It takes a beating regularly," Peter said matter-of-factly,
"I'm going to give you a regular beating!" Sirius started for Peter but the boy scurried under James' bed. "Get out from under there and fight like a Gryffindor!"
"Hide today and live to run another day," Peter sang. "Ewww…there are sticky stuff under here."
"Their slug traps or so James says," Remus bent down to peer under the bed at Peter and the little cardboard squares. He took one of the pieces from Peter's hand to show Sirius "His mum puts honey on the cardboard and tells James' that they'll keep the slugs away."
Sirius frowned at the little square, "The lad is more messed up than me and I've got reasons."
"Cause your inbreeded?" Peter asked, poking his head out just enough to see Sirius.
"Do you want to see how many times I can kill you?" Sirius asked.
"That's what James says," Peter slipped his head back under the bed. "He says you're mad because everyone in your family is related."
"Of course we are related! It's a bloody family!" Sirius growled.
"I think we should look for our lost Prongs," Remus picked himself off the floor. "I suppose it is possible that Lily has murdered him."
"So…will we be looking for body pieces or just blood covering the cold stone floors?" Peter asked.
By the time Remus had the knob of the door in his hand; Sirius and Peter were right behind him. Remus opened the door and stood frozen. There before him was James, leaning against the wall and Lily, with her arms crossed in front of her talking to him. Not hexing. Not fighting. Just talking. They both appeared to be startled when the other Marauders poked their heads out of the door. James blinked at them. The three boys blinked back. All four boys looked at Lily. Lily looked at the ceiling. James looked back at his friends. They looked back at him. James closed the door again.
Sirius stared at the closed door.
Remus scratched the back of his head.
Peter titled his head.
"That twat! He hadn't gotten any food!" Sirius cried.
"So I was eleven like everyone else when I got my first wand," Peter turned away from the door, deciding that maybe James wasn't going to care about his story after all. "I remember it like it was yesterday. The wand shop had an odd smell to it. I think it was dust. Maybe mould. Maybe both. It just smelled…old."
"Ah! Mr Pettigrew," Ollivander hastily climbed down his movable stair case and towards the little boy. The boy was slightly thick around the middle. He had no promise of great height nor was he terribly handsome but he was wholesome with pinkish cheeks and dark eyes. "I was beginning to wonder if I would see you at all!"
"I-I," Peter pointed to the closed door. "I mean, Mother is getting my robes. They are to be done now, she said. I am to wait here. I hope you don't mind, sir."
"Of course not. While you wait we shall fit you with the suitable wand!" Ollivander snapped his fingers and the measuring tape became active. It wasn't all worrisome to be bothered by an enchanted measuring tape when born into magic world.
"Oh! No, sir." Peter shook his head. "I have to wait for my Mother. She said she would help me pick the wand out."
"I made this very wand just last week," Ollivander ignored the boy's protest. "I made it out of Phoenix feather and Plum. Give it a try, what harm would it do?"
Peter looked back at the door and then at the wand. "If you are sure?" Peter slowly swift the wand in the air. Nothing happened.
Ollivander frowned and looked at Peter more closely, "You are a wizard are you not?"
"N-no I mean, Y-yes, sir." Peter put the wand down.
Ollivander stared at him for a moment longer, making Peter shift his weight to one foot and back again. "Very well, we shall try another wand. Let me see…"
Peter watched the old man wander down an aisle of wands to the next aisle and the next.
"Ah! I found it." Ollivander hurried back over to where Peter stood. "Here we are. Balsa, ten inches. Light and flexible. The core is phoenix."
Peter picked up the wand and waved it about. A spark shot out of the wand and right through the window, shattering it to pieces. "Sorry about that!"
"It happens more often than you think," Ollivander waved the mess aside. "I got another wand for you to try."
"I do appreciate your help but perhaps I should really wait for Mother," Peter whimpered.
"Nonsense, why wait when we can get you settled with a new wand this very moment, here we are! Yes this will do quite nicely. Black Maple of eight inches, wispy and stringy, unicorn hair as the core. Give it a go."
"If you are sure…" Peter closed his eyes and swish the wand about a sudden sparkle of golden snowflakes fell upon Peter's head. A cool sensation flowed through his hands and coursed throughout his body. "Whoa…"
"It appears this wand has chosen you, Mr Pettigrew," Ollivander beamed at the boy. "I do hope you will keep good care of it. For some, there is only but one wand."
"I will keep the best care of it, sir! I promise!" Peter carefully placed it back into the wand box. "Mother will be most pleased!"
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Sirius yawned, "You were right Wormy. That was a boring story."
"Hey now," Remus frowned at Sirius. "If you think about it, the only thing exciting about getting a wand is getting it. Nothing really exciting happens."
"Yes but there was nothing at all exciting about it," James cut in. "No chimney falling. No fires. No storms. It was just…well Peter getting his wand. Black Maple, eh? Not bad though."
"James!" Peter about rushed over to the boy, wanting to wrap his short arms around the taller boy's slim waist but Remus cuffed the back of his shirt, holding him back. "You heard!"
"Yes. I came in about when Ollivander didn't quite believe you were a wizard." James grinned.
"What's goin' with you and the witch?" Sirius nodded to the closed door.
"I ran into her, is all." James shrugged. "She walked me back to our room."
"That all?" Remus eyed James for a lie but Prongs was natural at keeping a straight face.
"That was all," James ambled towards his bed and sat down on it. "I asked her out, she said no, go back to bed and stay out of trouble. We said our good-night. "
"What about the sweets?" Sirius asked, looking down at James' empty hands. "You've got none!"
"No snog?" Remus asked.
"You were out there an awful long time for saying 'good-night'," Peter frowned.
"No sweets. No snogging. She spoke about patrolling, how I should stop hexing students, stop telling the firsties that upper-class students get to hex them for practice and whatnot."
"But we do hex them for practice," Sirius frowned. "We tell them that we are so they won't be surprised or take it personal."
"Yeah, I like it when they hide and we hunt them down," Peter agreed.
"Are you going to stop all that, Prongs?" Remus asked.
"I said I would if she go out on a date with me," James admitted.
"And she said no, right?" Sirius questioned.
"She said no," James confirmed.
"Thank Merlin for her uncompassionate heart! If she agreed to save those little brats, well I don't even want to think about it!" Sirius fell backwards on his bed. "It is far too depressing."
"Oi," James looked over at Remus' bed. "Are those all for the Broadcasting?"
"Yes," Remus sighed. "Quite a lot of them. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy them but yeah this is a work load."
"Best we get busy, eh?" James picked up the first letter. "Are we sending pressies out for the first Owl? I think we shall."
"I got a chocolate roach!" Peter held up the covered bug.
James wrinkled his nose, "I think that would scare them off. Remus – what do you have?"
"I've got nothing, you know that." Remus mumbled.
"Come off it, there must be something you are willing to part with." James strolled over to Remus' side of the room.
"Why me?" Remus watched James dig through his belongings.
"Why not? We each will give something away in the end…what about this?" James held up a jar.
"Muggle coins," Remus pointed over to Sirius. "It belongs to him."
"I'm not giving the coins away, mate." Sirius stated.
"Fine…hey, what about this?" James held up Remus' old maroon scarf.
"That is to keep warm," Remus frowned.
"You can have mine and our viewer can have yours." James sniffed the scarf. "Smells like cedar and wet dog."
"Thank you for insulting my scent." Remus rolled his eyes.
James shrugged and went back to his own bed, "Remus scarf goes to FamousNoOne who says, yay."
"Yay?" Sirius asked.
"Yep. Yay." James grinned.
"She gets a scarf for saying 'yay'?" Peter gave James' his odd confused face, which James always thought it looked as he got his with a goblin face hex.
"We didn't say it had to be a question," James reminded them. "But our next owl does bring us a question. This is from Syd. She goes to say that you, Remus should not spoil her compliments."
"Me?" Remus looked bewildered.
"Yes you," James tsked at him. "Always trying to ruin a bit of fun, aren't we? It seems that Syd is very proud of her madness and I would just like to say that people that are on the blink of insanity are usually very happy people. Living with this lot, I believe I am an expert."
"Says the Quidditch obsessed Evan stalker who sleeps with sticky cardboard under his bed and a stuffed quaffle ball in his arms." Sirius snorted.
"It's a front," James grinned. "But moving on as we do have many owls this time around. Um…well Syd's question is 'what would happen if someone's animigus form was something they were allergic to?'."
"Hmmm," Remus tapped his finger against the hardback book. "That person may break out in rash. Though, I cannot see a body allowing a transformation to take place when turning into something that it would not be capability with."
"Martin Fredgic is allergic to coconut but his stomach still likes it, just not his tongue." Sirius told them.
"Martin isn't the brightest student at Hogwarts," Remus whispered.
"Sadly, he isn't the dimmest either." Sirius nodded towards Peter.
"I'm right here!" Peter frowned at Sirius.
"I think Remus' answer is logical. I don't see it happening but it would be interesting to witness," James said. "What else do we have…well this proves that Syd is disturbed. She says and I am quoting, 'tell my little Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns that he's such an adorable little shnookums, pretending to hate snails. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to got talk to a Cheshire Cat about some enchanted beach balls...In Mad Devotion,Syd. PS, The flying beach ball that delivered this prefers to be called Marty.'"
"Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns is an adorable shnookums!" Sirius laughed.
James grinned, "But I am adorable."
"What's a Cheshire Cat?" Peter asked.
"Who's Marty?" Remus looked around.
"I think it's the very round owl that looks like a ball of feathers," Peter answered. "I don't think it really is a beach ball. Syd…cuckoo."
"What's the next letter, Snugglekinns?" Sirius asked James.
James plucked another letter off Remus' bed with the use of his wand, "Maybe if Evans thinks someone else is giving me lovable pet names, she might take more of an interest."
"Until she finds out that the letters are from a witch that is probably locked up for society's protection," Remus laughed. "It then makes perfect sense!"
"Har-har," James rolled his eyes. "So the next letter is from, Lizzy. She goes to say that since we had said Snape was 5'8'' how tall are we?"
"I hope she realizes that the measurement we gave her included his nose and that stands a bit higher than his head," Sirius put in.
"Wouldn't it be obvious?" James asked. "I am 1.88 centimetres which is the same as 6' and 2". Still a growing boy."
"And I am 1.85 centimetres or 6' and 1''." Remus answered.
"As James, I am 1.78 centimetres or 5' and 10"." Sirius looked over at Peter.
"Isn't saying that I'm shorter enough?" Peter whined.
"Oh go on," James encouraged. "Some witches like little gnomes size wizards!"
"I'm not that short!" Peter looked at James quite crossly. "Fine! I am 1.75 centimetres."
"You are not," James cried. "Say it true, Wormy."
"1.72" Peter answered.
"Lower…" Sirius sang.
"1.68!" Peter growled.
"Even lower…" Remus mumbled.
"1.65 but I'm not done growing!" Peter finally admitted.
"That is 5' and 5"," Remus answered.
"So…how tall are you Lizzy?" Sirius asked.
"I'm think she is 1.70," James took out some coins. "Place a bet, lads?"
"I'm going with 1.73." Sirius put a few coins in.
James looked over at Remus and Peter, "You two in?"
"Nah," Remus shook his head. "I don't have any to spare."
"Me either," Peter still pouted.
"You and me, closes to the height wins." James asked.
"Agree." Sirius nodded.
"Next question," Remus took out the next owl. "Oi this is quite the letter. This is from our dearest Mary. Remember she was at the Hufflepuff Valentines Party?"
"She's the one we said was singing," James grinned.
"That is her. This is what she says or something to the sort. 'This is not me. It is impossible. The Marauders only know me from owls. They do not know which house I belongs within. I do not share lessons with you lot as I am is a year behind so they cannot know possible know who I am. I also have a friend who swore to watch me back in case I get a bit irrational but apparently I have been on the wrong end of the vanishing memory charm.' I think by her friend but I am just assuming here. She goes to say that it isn't all that bad because 'Redgsahdfyadfd ahhhh' or a certain someone wasn't in the party. Her memory catches up with her and she says, 'Holy Dementors! And that's all we've got."
"Redgsahdfyadfd Ahhhh?" James asked. "His parents must have really hated his birthing. And you lot say I have bad names!"
"I'm confused." Peter stated.
"Mary is correct. We only know her by the parchment that is delivered by owl." Remus confirmed.
"However, there is at least one person besides the owner who can identify an owl. If you find that owl, ask someone if they know who it belongs to…well, process of elimination will eventually get you to the owner of the Owl that brings us a post written from Mary." James explained.
"Remember, James is an expert stalker." Sirius added.
"And Sirius likes to hump Dumbledore's leg." James smirked.
Sirius raised his wand.
"Hey!" Remus cut them off. "We have too many letters."
"Fine. But I'm not going to forget this, Jamesy-Poo McSnugglekinns!" Sirius growled.
"Did we answer Mary's question?" Peter asked.
"Yes. She now knows that we know that she knows who we are." James explained.
"Oh." Peter frowned.
"There is a second part of the letter but it is written by her friend. It seems Mary went off leaving her pen behind and her friend, Becca took over the post." Remus explained. "Her message, 'James,Sirius, Remus, Peter: I will be taking over this letter if you don't mind, I'm Mary's friend you can call me Becca and I'm from Hufflepuff ! I do believe you guys like to prank Mary and I totally support you is funny seeing her freaking out, please don't misunderstand me we are great friends but I do enjoy this type of pranks, you should have seen her face right now it was EPIC. I do believe Mary gave a lot of information about herself right now, if I may add to the list she is one of the few girls in the school that Sirius hasn't snoged..."
"Oi! She belongs to the Against Snogging Sirius club or A.S.S club!" James laughed and Peter was quick to join him.
"This is what happens when Evans gives him just a wee bit of attention," Sirius threw dark glares at James. "Goes straight to his over-size head."
"Yes, well back to Becca. She goes to say that there is a song called titled, 'Lying is the Most Fun' by a Muggle band called Panic. The story of the song reminds her of your romance with a Gryffindor girl that you once had." Remus read.
"Yeah, I know those lyrics well." Sirius gave a haughty smile to his mates. "But now, Becca. Luv. When you hear that song, you will forever be thinking of me."
"For some reason I think I shall feel a bit embarrassed for you about now," Peter stated.
"Becca does have a question as she believes that Mary may have wanted to ask this. It is directed towards me. The girls would like to know the worst patrolling experience that did not involve James or Sirius." Remus read. "Um…well, let me think. I have to say it was when I came across two witches out past curfew. They were friends with each other, having a bit of a go. Nasty catfight, I admit. I separated them but I had to place a charm on the more aggressive witch and that didn't set well with her friend, even though they were physically sorting it out. Next thing I knew, they had turned on me. I thanked Merlin that Evans came about soon to put a proper stop on it. I learnt that a wizard should never get mixed up in witches affairs."
"It's a mental imbalance," James told them.
"You just don't mess with that sort," Sirius agreed.
"Best let them have it out," Peter nodded.
"Now Becca and Mary would like to know from James and Sirius, what was the best prank you two pulled on a prefect?"
"Besides telling you that they discontinued chocolate?" James asked.
"That was solely a Lupin Prank," Sirius remind him.
"It wasn't funny," Remus pouted.
James pushed his fingers though his hair, "We have done so many pranks. We did the clock charm. We move it up two hours, told everyone but the perfects."
"Yes, I remember that one. You let the Perfects believe everyone was two hours pasted their curfew and students were having a go at us when tried to take house points from them and send them off to bed," Remus frowned.
Sirius sighed. "That was a good prank but was it our best?"
"The Prankless Prank has to be up on the top ranks," James told Sirius. "Do you remember it, Moony?"
"I do but I wish to forget," Remus rubbed his temples.
"James and I started a 'rumour' about how the Marauders were preparing for a considerable large prank that would involve most of Hogwarts and would be targeted at all Perfects. When some nark finally confessed to the Perfects, well naturally the lot wanted to take credit for stopping the prank before it was to happen but they also wanted to be prepared for it as well," Sirius smiled proudly at James.
"Yes. It was rumoured to involve the lake, a broom, the Perfects 'Head Quarters', and a cake. The prank was that there would be no prank and yet, half the school was involved by passing that rumour 'round," James looked over at Remus. "How long did it take? A week? Two weeks? A month, I think. Something along there. Evans finally figured it out."
"There wasn't one Perfect that felt safe in our company and we did make sure we were near them whenever possible," Sirius added.
"We even had fake hand signals and would pretend to be whispering a discussion about the prank." James put in.
"Good times. To set back and watch people create their own fear," Sirius sighed with satiation.
Remus tossed Peter a cookie, "That's from Becca or Mary. Or both. They haven't got a question for you so you get a cookie."
"I like this better," Peter grinned at the cookie.
"I want a cookie!" James frowned at Peter's cookie. "It isn't fair that he gets one and I don't!"
"Your mum sends you sweets all the time," Sirius told him. "Let Peter have a present."
"What else do we have?" Peter asked Remus, hoping to take James' mind off his cookie. James would take it from him. He is of course, spoiled that way.
"Well, Syd sends another owl. She says that I am adorable, referring to my wand tale. She also says that she has a Silver Lime Wand of Unicorn Hair core."
"That's a nice wand. Silver Lime isn't easy to get a hold of," James stated.
"We've got a new listener, Starlight…er, wait. Starlight was SiriusJPotter but now is Starlight," Remus explained.
"Yes, that doesn't make it confusing at all, does it?" James mocked.
"Star says that she was disappointed in me for missing the 'J' middle initial as it was pointed at my own middle initial." Remus read.
"Oi, I thought it was for James Potter." Prongs admitted. "Seriously James Potter."
"Except it read Sirius," Padfoot reminded him.
"Misspelt," James shrugged.
"The letter continues with an apologise to Sirius, hoping that you aren't mad that she sic James on you and to make you feel better, Star has been hiding from Lily for she is upset with the idea of double dating with James as her date. She also smiles at you lovingly." Remus batted his eyelashes.
"I can't help it if birds dolt upon my magnificence," Sirius sniffed.
"Stars goes on to address Prongs," Remus continued. "She says that you are to meet up at Madem Puddlemeres and don't forget her Siri."
"Puddlemeres?" James looked sick. "That's…not Hog's Head!"
"I think this is to be a proper date," Remus informed him.
"How can a blackmail date be proper?" Sirius asked. "If I don't go, James will murder me."
"I swear on your bloodline," James solemnly said.
"We do have a lot of post to answer. Just go to the tea shop and have some fun." Remus told them. "Um…star said that the name you picked out for her was really dumb, Prongs. That's a shocker…for the stupid name; Star is letting Evans wear her anti-James clothing."
"What's that? Like amour or something that I cannot penetrate?" James asked.
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. "Probably."
"Would Lily really wear amour on a date?" Peter asked with a yawn as it was late in the evening.
"Of course not," James batted the question away. "Besides, Lily will look great in anything."
"She also sends you chocolate, Sirius." Remus showed him the box. "But I need to check them for charming spells, you understand."
"You're going to eat my chocolate," Sirius translated.
Remus stared blankly at him.
"That's what I thought," Sirius sigh but wasn't going to get in the middle of Remus and chocolate.
"Hey, Mary sent us another post." James told his friends. "She goes about saying that Remus was adorable as a child and you deserve all the chocolate in the world."
"Even Sirius' chocolate." Remus grinned.
"That just isn't fair," Sirius frowned.
"What isn't fair is that Peter gets cookies, you get chocolate, he gets your chocolate and I still hadn't gotten an éclair!" James told them. "Now that just isn't fair!"
"But your Mum made you some fudge," Peter pointed to James' care package on his bed. "We can smell it from here."
"B-but that's mine." James explained. "She made them for me."
"You always shared before," Sirius reminded him.
"Maybe I will again or maybe I won't," James shrugged. "Mary writes that Becca daydreams about your, Remus as a child because you were just so adorable. But you shouldn't tell anyone." James looked at the microphone. "Well the listeners might keep it a secret."
"We got a post from Lindsey!" Peter waved the parchment about.
Sirius smiled brightly, "Huffle witch. Helped us with a prank towards the Ravens. I remember her."
"That is her. She would like to know if we were invited to the St. Patrick's Day party. Why do you call women birds? What would you name your firstborn? Remus, how is your relationship going? Sirus, if you hit on me one more time, I will hex you so hard your grandchildren will feel it! James, don't give up on Evans. You'll get her someday. Also, why do you dislike Snape the snake so much?" Peter puffed out all at once."
"Were we invited to the party?" Remus asked.
"I was," James spoke. "But I hadn't invited you lot yet. I might not. I'm undecided."
"Lindsey will invite us, won't you Linzzy?" Sirius cooed. "Why do we call girls birds…birds are very delicate creatures. Very lovely. Their voices are music blowing in the air. They are graceful and elegant. They are…"
"It's just slang," James interrupted. "Don't read into it."
"I was going for poetic," Sirius glared at Prongs.
"Your poetic was not knocking out our viewing ratings." James declared. "Save it for Seduction Hour."
"So what shall we call our first born?" Remus asked. "I think Charles is a swell name or Alyssa."
"I always liked Grace or Sydney. Diesel for a boy, since my own name was referred to a ball of gas, I think I should keep it in the family." Sirius smiled.
"I think Sheri or Marcus," Peter answered.
"I'm going to pull a name from a hat," James told his friends. "Have everyone toss a name in it and whichever I pick, that's the kid's name."
"You know, that might work for you." Remus approved.
"Next question is why do we dislike Snape." Peter sighed. "I don't suppose it's because he follows us around all the time in order to either hex us or expel us."
"Isn't it enough that he's just there?" James asked.
"Another post from Syd. She goes about getting Ghost Busters because they have a vacuum." Peter told the group.
All four Marauders looked at each other.
"We best move onward." Remus whispered.
"I do like Syd," James grinned.
"RandomFandom is asking a question," Remus read.
"How goes that all work and no play?" James asked. "Making progress?"
"Ignore him," Remus unfolded the parchment. "RandomFandom would like to know if we enjoy musicals."
"Oi. Howdo we answer this without seeming…well, like Remus?" James asked. "I do enjoy some musical. I like musicals that are witty and twisted like, 'Sweeney Todd' or if the Blacks would sing their family discussions that would also be the same."
"Right funny you are," Sirius growled. "I liked the showing of Sweeny Todd as well."
"I enjoy them to a point," Remus answered. "There are some I could not sit through but if there is humour or even some deep interest such as Les Misérables, I can withstand but there are some really olds musicals that I just wish I hadn't heard."
"I like them as well," Peter answered. "I like the old ones too. Mum likes to go see musicals."
"We have another post from Mary," Remus tells them. "She says that she finds it amusing that 'lil' James hadn't wanted to wed but now he wants to marry Evans. It's all so sweet."
"Awww…you're so adorable Snugglekinns." Sirius cooed, a second time that night.
"Mary also says that 'Poppet' sounds very cute," Remus grins.
"Mum…," James shrugged with as slight smile on his face.
"Now Lindsey, well she just laughs at your experience with getting a wand," Remus tells him.
"Life is better when you can laugh at it," James shrugged again.
"New Listener!" Peter stated. "A Rebecca!"
"Hiya, Rebecca," James greeted her. "Are you 'Becca' that knows our Mary?"
"Not sure, so we shall just call her Rebecca until we know for sure." Peter stated. "Rebecca ask three questions. If you were given a day's worth of Felix Felicis, what would you do? If you had to marry a fellow marauder, who would it be and why? And If you were a sea creature, what would you be and why?"
"First question, the Felix one." Remus cleared his throat, "I think I'm a bit thirsty. Um, I think I would try to find a cure for illnesses. Maybe luck is all I need."
"If it were that simple, I think someone would have tried it by now." James said quietly. "I of course would ask Evans out."
"I would try to speak to my family, let them see the better side of the world." Black answered.
"I-I would take a test." Peter answered. "The hardest one so I could pass."
"If you studied you might pass too." Remus reminded him. "Second question, if we had to wed one of us who would we wed and why? Oh boy….wow, this is a bit tough. I would be worried that James was cheating one me with Evans…but then, I'd worry that Sirius would be cheating one me with everyone else. I guess that leaves Peter."
"I'd marry you, Moony." Sirius stated.
"You would? Why?" Remus asked.
"With your mood swings, it would be like living with a witch." Sirius smiled.
"Twit." Remus frowned.
"I would marry James," Peter stated. "So I could go to all the Quidditch Matches and I would mind Evans."
"That's what you say…" Sirius eyed Peter.
"Why do you go about saying he has a crush on me all the time, mate?" James asked. "It's a bit nerving. Like you're jealous or something."
"It's not jealousy, it's his drooling that gives it away," Sirius nodded in Pete's direction.
"So the next question from Rebecca is type of sea creature. I don't know if she means like a dolphin or like Nessie." Remus mulled it over it bit. "Let's go with non-magical creatures of the ocean, in which I would like to be a dolphin. They seem fun and intelligent."
"I'd be an Orca," Sirius answered. "Which is a type of dolphin, I believe. I like the black and white patterns. They are pretty stunning creatures."
"I want to be a great white shark!" Peter made a jaw with his hands. "The most feared creature of the sea!"
"I'd be a blue whale," James said. "The biggest animal known to exist in the world. People would adore me. Flock just to see me. I'd be awesome."
"An anonymous Gryffindor listener would like to know when and where someone can tune into Sirius Seduction Hour." Peter read the next post.
"Anonymous views must have a name," James smiled brightly. "From hence forward you shall be call Veii."
"Veii, you can listen to Sirius Seduction Hour every Wednesday at three ante meridiem Greenwich Mean time (3am GMT) on channel five." Sirius answered. "I hope to have you tune in soon."
"Last post is from UpToNoGood, who is requesting that we do not hex after reading this post." Remus read.
"Hold up!" James stood up. "Whenever a person says something like that, it means we won't like what they are going to say next and wish to hex them. I say we find this person, hex them and then read what they say?"
"No." Remus shook his head.
"What? I say yes!" Sirius stood next to James. "Come on, Mate. We'll find this person together!"
"I'm thinking the bubble sprout charm," James headed for the door.
"They have too much fun with that," Sirius shook his head. "We could enlarge their feet, really enlarge them."
Remus and Peter watched James and Sirius leave the dorm.
"Do you think they'll find this person?" Peter ask.
"No. I've got the letter and we don't know who actually wrote the letter, do we?" Remus asked. "To finish the letter, UptoNoGood suggest that we invite a Slytherin, not Snape to the broadcast. This will allow Evans to think that James might be a good boy and perhaps date him."
"We are going to have to do more than invite a Slytherin to our show if we want Lily to think James' is a 'good boy', he's just done too many 'bad boy' things. But it is a good idea. Perhaps Reggie? Sirius might go for that." Peter looked over at Remus.
"It is a good idea. Next Broadcast we shall have Sirius' brother with us!" Remus stated. "Peter will break the news to Sirius."
"Me! Why me?" Peter's eyes grew large.
"It was your idea, wasn't it?" Remus patted him on the back.
"Oh we have one last review. Almost over looked it because it was on the wrong chapter. It's from a guest who says, 'Interactive fic are against the TOS. This could be reported.' Which translates to 'I'm going to tell on you!' Don't worry. We shall keep posting if you keep on bring the owls."
"Now for our poll results. The question was, 'Using the common instrumental layout of the Beatles, which instrument is best suitable for which Marauder?' We had five votes. Three picked 'Remus rhythm guitar, Peter bass, James lead guitar, and Sirius drums.' One picked, 'James rhythm guitar, Sirius bass, Remus lead guitar, and Peter drums.' And one picked, 'Sirius rhythm guitar, Remus bass, Peter lead guitar, and James drums.'"
"That brings us to the end of this week's broadcast. We hope you all have an enjoyable evening. We hope to catch you next week." Peter signed out.
A/N: Thanks for all the owls. You guys are the best. i hope you can get through this. I know I shouldn't but all this is 'hot off the press' so sorry for the screw ups. If I accidentally over looked a question, please re-ask. cheers!